CHAPTER 5
I am not my Father's son...

Those words made Dean stop dead in his tracks. Though he knew they were getting desperate, sinking so low as to lying about his family was one punch to the gut he hadn't been expecting. It was also one he wouldn't just stand there and take. "What did you just say?" He asked, turning to face Zachariah who was now standing alone.

"I said John Winchester isn't your father... hate to break it to you kid, but there's not a drop of anything Winchester in you." The angel replied, a slight grin emerging from the corner of his lips as he caught the other man's eyes. "That's something you didn't know... Am I right?" He asked, once again crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You desperate, bastard." Dean spat, his blood boiling at just the thought of how far the angel was willing to go.

"You think I'm lying, but I'm not." Zachariah calmly replied, thunder eerily following his words. "Come on Dean, you're a smart guy, don't tell me you never noticed just how much more John seemed to worry about Sam than he did about you. They didn't get along but he favored Sam and deep down, you've always known it. It was always about Sam and now you know why... It's because Sam's his flesh & blood and you aren't."

"Stop it Zachariah." Dean started, swallowing hard as his hands once again clenched into fists. The one thing he hated the most of the angel standing there in front him, was how fast his mood changed. He was a manipulative jerk regardless, but the blink of an eye could see him go from one end of the scale to the other. Now it was almost as if someone had flipped a switch; the desperation in his voice was gone and he was done pleading, begging and trying to convince him... now he was trying to either push him or break him.

"The man kept a lot of secrets from you, this one's no different it's just a hard one to swallow." The angel continued.

"I said stop it." Dean repeated, doing what he could to keep his anger in check and his heart from beating right out of his chest.

"Here's something else I bet you didn't know..." Zachariah started, ignoring the young hunter's demand. "You were a constant reminder that he failed as a father and husband because every time he looked at you, all he saw in your eyes was Mary and the family he couldn't protect."

"Now you're just trying to screw with me 'cause that's the kind of son of a bitch you are." Dean growled, trying to keep his voice from wavering.

"Oh I'm not screwing around with you, Dean. Since I can't convince you to join us, I just thought you should know the truth; who you really are and why you should be fighting alongside us."

"I know who am I." He growled, swallowing the lump that was caught in his throat.

Zachariah shook his head. "No you don't." He said simply. "Because if you did, you'd understand why Michael needs you as a vessel... he's not the only thing that ties you to Heaven you know." Zachariah paused for only a moment as he held the young hunter's eye. "Before God moved on to his next project, he made sure all of you were well set to be on your own for years to come. He prepared mankind for trouble that would eventually come to light and found ways to prevent those events from ever taking place."

"Is there a point to this?" Dean hissed, his eyes narrowing.

"You my boy, were a fail-safe that failed..."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dean was quick to reply, leaving little time for the angel's words to really sink in.

"God couldn't stop what Azazel was going to do to your brother, so he did the next best thing and created you. His very own little human/angel hybrid, placed here on earth to prevent a future of untold horror. You're one a kind, Dean... A Guardian Angel in the flesh and blood. You had one purpose in life and one purpose only, to keep your brother out of Azazel's hands and by doing so, keeping him out of Lucifer's reach... If for some unforeseen reason you failed, you were to be Michael's vessel in the finale battle, which is where we stand right now." Zachariah paused for only a moment as he watched the hunter's eyes hit the ground by his feet. "Think about it Dean, why do you really think John gave his life for you? It's not because the man loved you, it's because he knew you had a job to do. The fate of mankind was counting on you and you blew it; you couldn't keep Sam from following that dark road... So now it's time for plan B and Michael needs a vessel he can really work with."

Cut to the core, those words burned him alive. There was a truth to what the angel had just told him and try as he might, he couldn't shake that feeling. The pieces were falling into place and all of the little things he chose to ignore in the past were now coming back to him under a microscope. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the thunder overhead rip through him like the lightning that tore at a once peaceful sky. "I don't care who you say I am. This was your fault, you guys are the ones that let this happen."

"Oh this isn't on us." Zachariah started, his words being the weapon of choice to finally break the other man. "You were the one that brought Azazel right to Sam's front door the night you went to find him at Stanford... Granted, we may have taken advantage of the situation once you did fail, but we played by the rules and let you chose your own path... just as God would have wanted. This is on your shoulders, not ours." Zachariah paused again as lightning lit up the night sky "You still don't believe me?" He continued, pulling Dean out of his restless thoughts. "There's an old garage at the edge of the scrap yard over there, inside you'll find another Impala John kept for spare parts. He might be gone, but his crap certainly isn't... take a look in the trunk, he not only kept his resherch, but he kept all of your mother's hunting journals as well."

"I trust you just as far as I can throw you and by the looks of it, that ain't very far." Dean replied, his tone of voice low. "How am I suppose to know that you didn't just set all of this up in one last, pathetic attempt to get me on your side... Sam wasn't Azazel's only one, any one of his special kids could have gone down the same..."

"Sam may not have been Azazel's only one, but God knew that he was going to be THE one; so he put you together and considered it a future problem solved." Zachariah cut in, holding the young hunters eyes as he watched the other man try to keep his composure.

"If all this is true, if I am actually an angel." Dean continued, his words catching in the back of his throat. "Then how come I was able to work all those Sigils in blood without zapping myself back up to Heaven."

"Because you don't belong in Heaven, Dean... and you never will." Zachariah replied coldly "Most of those tricks only work on thoroughbred anyway." He paused for only a moment as he offered a crooked smile. "Still don't believe me, do you?" He asked as he let out a chuckle. "I know, why don't you go ask Bobby bout it then? He knows you're not John's kid. Better yet, ask your new disgraced archangel buddy Gabriel... He's the one that convinced your mother to carry a child that was never conceived and he's the one that failed to keep you on the straight and narrow path your were meant to follow."

Sam eyed the clock on the wall before turning to take a glance out the window. "Dean's been out there for a while." He started, his eyes scanning the scrap yard in the momentary light of a lightning strike. "I think I'll go see what..." He trailed off as the back door opened and the sound of heavy footsteps filled the hall, making their way over to the living room.

"Is it true?" Dean asked, his tone of voice demanding the attention from all as he entered the room.

When Bobby turned to face the hunter, he swore under his breath, his eyes instantly focusing on the tattered book tucked firmly in Dean's left hand. He knew exactly what the oldest Winchester was asking and he had dreaded that very moment for years. "Where did you get that?" He asked quietly, swallowing the lump caught in throat as he eyed John's very first hunting journal, something he hadn't seen in over twenty years.

"In the trunk of a scrapped Impala, where do you think?" Dean was quick to reply. "Is it true, Bobby?" He repeated leaning over to let the journal fall on the desk in front of the veteran hunter. There was a moment of silence as the sound of the tattered book hitting the hardwood desk resonated in the quiet room, the dust that lifted from its torn pages almost as thick as the tension in the air. "Is John Winchester not my father?"

Bobby could do nothing more than offer a nod, his gaze set on the old book instead of the man towering over the desk in front of him. "Yeah it's true." He whispered, his words almost lost in the silence between them.

Sam didn't know what to say as he watched his older brother pass a hand over his face, his expression alone telling him all he needed to know about Dean's volatile state. "Dean, what's going on?" He asked softly, his voice pulling the other man's attention away from the veteran hunter for only a moment.

"How long have you known?" Dean continued, ignoring his younger brother's question as he eyed Bobby from across the cluttered desk. When Bobby refused to look up at him, he pushed a pile of books and papers to the floor to get his attention. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN!" He shouted, pulling the other man's eyes away from the journal.

"He told me about it a few years after your mother died... You must have been only six or seven." Bobby replied, sucking in a breath as he watched Dean start to pace. "Look, I..."

"When exactly were you planning on telling me!" Dean barked, cutting the other man short. "Bad enough I had to learn it from Zachariah, we're counting down the days to the end of the world here!"

"I was never going to tell you!" Bobby shouted, watching as Dean came to a sudden stop in front of him. "End of days or not, I'm a man of my word and your Dad made me promise not to say a damn word about it." He paused for a moment as he took a deep breath, emotions running high as he thought of his late friend and what lengths he'd taken to keep his boys safe. "Look, I begged him to tell ya, years ago. But you knowing, was the last thing he wanted. He may not have been your father but he loved you just the same."

"What makes you so sure." Dean curtly replied. "You didn't know the man like I did, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE HAD TO LIVE WITH!" He paused for a moment, still unable to come to grips with the truth that had more of less hit him square in the face. "How could he not tell me? How could he have kept this from me all those years!"

"Because he knew it would upset you, boy." Bobby reasoned, trying to calm the other man. "He thought it best for you not to know."

There was a moment of silence as Dean watched the veteran hunter's eyes once again wander away from his piercing stare. "Have you actually read this?" He asked, pointing down to the journal on the desk in front of him. "Do you know who I am, what I'm supposed to be and why?" When Bobby shook his head, Dean didn't hesitate. "I'm a Guardian Angel, Bobby..." He started, his words instantly pulling the other man's eyes back up to his stare. "A damn angel born to Mary Winchester to counteract the deal she made with the Yellow Eyed Demon!" He paused for only a moment as he swallowed hard, knowing his little brother had just as many questions. "You should read through this." He said, sliding the journal across the desk. "Might shed some light on why Michael wanted me as a vessel."

When Sam caught his older brother's eyes, he knew Dean had just been cut to the core. The Apocalypse was underway, Castiel was gone and now he'd just found out that the father he looked up to and spent his life trying to please, wasn't his father at all. When Dean turned to leave, Sam followed him down the hall. "Dean." He called out, watching as the other man disappeared out the back door. "DEAN!" He called again, getting no response as he watched his older brother wander into the scrap yard. When the Impala roared to life and the headlights pierced the darkness, Sam swore under his breath; watching helplessly as his brother forced the car out of the scrap yard and onto the road. When the tail lights disappeared over a hill, he turned and headed back inside; Bobby barely acknowledging him as he stepped into the living room. "Dean took off." He announced, letting out a sigh as he started to pace. "Did you hear me?" He asked, coming to a stop as he turned to face the older man. "He's gone!"

Bobby didn't say a word as he slid the small note across the desk towards Sam. "This was tucked between the pages..."

Sam eyed the note for a moment before grabbing it from the desk and turning it over to look at it. *Tell Sammy that I'm sorry* He swore under his breath as he let the note fall back down on the desk in front of him. "We've got to do something." He started, passing a hand through hair. "Before he says yes to Michael and does something we'll all regret."

"I don't think there's anything we can do..." Bobby quietly replied, his eyes once again glued to John's first journal. When Sam headed for the door, he looked up just in time to see him grab the keys to his old Chevelle off a hook on the wall. "Where are you going?" He asked, getting up from his seat and following the younger man down the hall and out the back door.

"Where do you think?" Sam growled as he slid in behind the wheel. "I'm going after him."

The Impala's engine roared under Dean's heavy foot as the car devoured the dark road ahead. His grip on the steering wheel tightened as his mind raced; it was true, all of it was true. If he had only known then what he knew now, he would have never dragged Sam back into the life of a hunter, right back where Azazel had wanted him. The more he thought about it, the more he seemed to remember. It was the small things, like how John would never ask about him but always about Sam. Taking care of Sam was always his responsibility, the one and only thing that gave him a true sense of purpose growing up. This was on him, all of it was because John had made it quite clear that if Sam couldn't be saved, he would have to be killed. Now that he understood why, those words haunted him. When Gabriel suddenly appeared in the road ahead, he slammed on the brakes, bringing the Impala to a screeching halt. He contemplated just hitting the gas but put the shifter in park instead and stepped out of the car, his hands clenching into fists. "You son of a bitch." He growled, eyeing the archangel standing like a deer caught in the headlights of his car. "Why didn't you tell me!" He shouted, the sound of the idling engine filling the silence.

"It wasn't my place." Gabriel simply replied. "Those were my orders, Dean... back when I worked for the man and God still cared what happened here on earth." When the other man reached for the gun that was tucked into the back of his belt, Gabriel took a step back. "C'mon on, I know you're angry but..."

"Angry? When you find out that your life's been a lie and that you're as much a brother to Sam as you are to a dick like Zachariah, angry doesn't quite cut it, you know?" Dean started, his threatening tone of voice cutting into the archangel's sentence. "If God gave a rat's ass what happened here on earth, he would have found a way to stop Mary from dealing with Azazel in the first place... He would have done something to make sure that we don't get to where we are..."

"HE DID DO SOMETHING!" Gabriel suddenly shouted, taking a step forward as the other man loaded the gun in his hands. "HE MADE YOU!" He paused for only a moment as he let out a sigh. "Don't you get it, Dean? YOU were the one that was supposed to stop all of this... It was a good plan and it would have worked if you hadn't traded your life to bring Sam back." Gabriel hesitated as he eyed the barrel of the gun in the angry hunter's grip. "He just didn't realize how far you would go to make sure your brother was safe... you cared about him more than you did about yourself and that is the ONE thing my Father didn't anticipate."

"When did you decide that you wanted out, Gabriel?" Dean asked, his tone of voice low. "Zachariah told me that you were the one that was supposed to watch over me, make sure I made all the right choices, so tell me, when did you decide to cut your losses... To turn and run?"

Gabriel couldn't help but swallow hard. "November 2, 1985." He replied simply, closing his eyes for a moment as he thought of his past as an active Archangel. "The night your mother died was the night I realized that it couldn't be stopped, that no matter what, it would all come down the Apocalypse. When you held onto your brother, I just knew that you would never let him go... you held on too tight and when he wanted out you pulled him back him, when he died, you brought him back. You just couldn't let the cards fall where they may."

"He's my brother." Dean growled.

"He was Hell's #1 weapon and you kept throwing him right back in front of them." Gabriel quietly replied. "Dean, when you really love someone, I mean REALLY love someone, sometimes the best thing you can do for them is just let them go..."

When the sound of a racing car engine drifted over the country hills, Dean looked over his shoulder at the road behind him. When he turned his attention back to the archangel in front of him, he swore under his breath. Gabriel was gone. Tucking the gun away, he made his way back to the car and climbed in behind the wheel. Watching in the rearview mirror as the headlights of Bobby's car came into view, he hastily pulled away, leaving rubber on the road behind him. He was in no mood to talk, he had other plans and his mind was set.

Sam swore under his breath as the Impala's tail lights turned a corner and disappeared into the night. "Damn it Dean." He growled, putting the pedal to the floor in an attempt to catch up.

When the headlights bounced off his mirrors, Dean took a quick glance down at his gauges. The Impala was fast but it was no match for the Chevelle that was coming up behind him like a bat out of hell. Before he knew it, Sam crossed the center line and pulled up alongside him. The last thing he was expecting, was to be forced off the road but when the other car started drifting towards him, he swore to himself. As the Chevelle came within inches of his driver's door, Dean took the gravel shoulder and slid to stop; Sam pulling off the road just ahead of him. Anger still building, he stepped out of the Impala and slammed the door shut, his younger brother doing the same.

"WHAT THE HELL DEAN!" Sam shouted, walking towards the other man. "You're upset, I get that, but taking off isn't going to solve a damn thing!" Dean came to stop as Sam approached with heavy steps. "I don't know what Zachariah told you but you know it's a lie!" He paused for only a moment as the other man caught his eyes. "He's doing to you, what he did to Cas!" Sam continued, ready to dodge a punch at any given moment. "We don't have time for this!"

"Zachariah wasn't lying and Bobby knew John wasn't my Father." Dean growled.

"So what!" Sam shouted, practically towering over his older brother. "He may not have been your Father, or father of the year for that matter, but the man still loved you and you know it! That will never change, Dean!" He paused again as he watched his brother's eyes drift away. Through a haze of hurt and anger, it was almost as if Dean could no longer see just how hard John had tried to raise two kids on his own. "The man DIED FOR YOU... Remember all those times he let you take the car? Remember that one time, you were barely 17 and you drove all night just so we could..." Sam trailed off as he watched the smirk suddenly appear to corner of his brother's lips. "What is it, Dean?" He asked, his words almost forced.

"Sammy there's a lot of things you don't know about the man and that's my fault." Dean started, passing a hand over his face. "You and me, we didn't know the same Father."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, his tone of voice instantly dropping and his anger fading fast.

"Dad never let me borrow the car." Dean started, sucking in a breath as he thought of his teenage years, or lack thereof. "When he stumbled in drunk at night, I'd steal her from him and just start driving.. I was 14 the first time, could barely reach the pedals." He paused for a moment as the memories came flooding back; the bitter ones seemed to outnumber the good ones. "All I wanted was to put as much distance as I could between his life and yours but I just couldn't do it; reality would eventually make me turn around. I couldn't run from my life and I certainly couldn't save you from his..."

There was a moment of silence as Sam let it all sink in. After every road trip with his brother, he would always be left alone while John and Dean headed out on a hunt; hours later when they returned, Dean would come in quieter than ever. "I'm not saying that his hard life justified his actions, but the man loved you and raised you the best he could... Forget about what Zachariah told you, the son of a bitch probably took what he knew and twisted it around to fit his purpose." Sam paused for a moment as the other man once again looked away. "It's Armageddon, Dean and they're getting desperate... I can't do this alone. I need you right now more than ever, don't let some angel..."

"I'm sorry Sam." Dean quietly interrupted, shaking his head as he turned to make his way back towards the idling Impala. "But Zachariah made me realize that no matter how hard we try, we don't stand a chance on our own."

"So what, this is it?" Sam continued, his voice echoing in the night. "The world is days away from an Apocalypse and you're throwing in the towel? After everything we've been through you're giving up because of what some bastard of an angel told you?"

Dean paused in his steps as he turned slightly to face the other man. "Who said anything about giving up?" He started, his tone of voice low. "I'm going to fight for Hell..."