CHAPTER 7
Ask about my conscious and I'll offer you my soul

Sam watched as Bobby paced the living room floor, pausing every few steps to take a glance out the window at the Impala parked among the wrecked cars in his scrap yard. "Why don't you just go out there and talk to him?" He started softly, letting out a sigh as he eyed the clock on the wall. "It's almost noon now anyway."

Barely giving the younger man a glance, Bobby continued to pace, thoughts of the night before still circling in his head. "I doubt he wants to talk to me right now." He replied simply, his eyes drifting over to the journal that still lay right where Dean had dropped it on the desk. "And even if he did, I don't think he'd like what I have to say about this new plan of yours."

"Well I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't agree with the new plan..." Gabriel started, pulling the veteran hunter's eyes away from John's old journal. "If you ask me, I'd call it the ultimate suicide mission on crack..."

"Yeah well no one asked you." Sam cut in, watching as the archangel leaned back against the wall behind him.

"Why did you even bring him here?" Bobby asked, pointing to Gabriel as he turned to face the young hunter.

Before Gabriel could put in a word, Sam was quick to reply. "Because he's as good as dead without us and we're going to need all the help we can get."

"Not to mention I was more or less taken as a hostage." The archangel muttered under his breath, wincing slightly as he felt his sore muscles pull.

"Don't play the victim with me." Sam snapped, his eyes instantly narrowing as Gabriel offered a smirk.

"Well you did pull a gun on me..."

"If you really wanted to, you would have left by now. You are an archangel afterall." Sam started, pausing for only a moment as he watched Gabriel's eyes suddenly drift away from his gaze. "The only reason you're still here is because you KNOW you're safer with us. You don't bounce back quite like you use to and those angels could have easily killed you last night... Like it or not, we're all you've got now and we're the only ones that are going to save your ass."

"The only reason you're going to save my ass, is because I'm the only angel you've got." Gabriel hissed, looking back over to catch Sam's eyes.

"Could you two do your bickering after the Apocalypse is over?" Bobby interrupted, his tone of voice pulling Sam's attention away from the sullen archangel across the room. "If you idgits only have 'till midnight tonight, I don't want to waste it hearing you two argue like an old married couple."

Sam let out a sigh as he took another quick glance at the clock on the wall. "Are you going to go wake him up or should I?" He asked simply as he caught the veteran hunter's eyes.

"I'd go, but he already pulled a gun on me." Gabriel quipped, crossing his arms as he straightened out. "And unlike you, Sam... Your brother was more than willing to pull the trigger."

"Yeah well maybe he should have..."

When Bobby cleared his throat, the room once again fell into silence. "You two just stay in your own corners and keep the comments to yourselves, alright?" He growled, first looking at Sam before looking over at Gabriel. "I'll go get the other one." He announced as made his way towards the door. "Idgits"

Sam watched as the older man made his way down the hall and out the back door. "If you want to stay, you'd better pull your own weight." He growled.

"If you need all the help you can get..." Gabriel started, catching the younger man's eyes from across the room. "Then you'd better change your tone with me, boy."

Bobby sucked in a breath as he slowly made his way towards the Impala, wondering if all of this would have been avoided had Dean known his true purpose in life; his reason for being. He could still remember the day John told him Dean wasn't his son; the look on the other man's face as he downed one shot after another was still fresh in his mind. The boy may not have been his flesh and blood but the look Bobby saw on Dean's face the night before was a mirrored reflection of John Winchester. The anger, the angst, the disappointment, the short fuse and the resulting deal were all things he knew the young hunter had acquired from John. As he approached the Impala and reached out to tap on the window he couldn't help but pause, taking a moment to observe how peaceful the younger man looked despite the demons in his head and the chaotic times surrounding him.

Dean lay stretched out the best he could across the front seat, his worn leather jacket draped over him like a blanket and his left arm up against the driver's door to prop his head up. Bobby hesitated for a moment as he thought of what Sam had told him, about the deal they had made with Lucifer and all of the events that had led to it. Ignoring the continuous storm that raged overhead, he gently tapped a finger against the glass, knowing that it would be more than enough to wake a man that was always ready for a fight. He took a step back as Dean shot up, gun in hand. "It's just me." He said simply, his voice just barely above the low hum of the grumbling thunder.

Dean tucked his gun away as he let out a yawn and stepped out of the car. Stretching as he shut the door behind him, he took a glance up at the cloudy sky. There was a moment of silence between them as both tried to think of where to start. "I take it Sam told you about the change of plans?" Dean finally started, catching the older man's eyes.

"Yeah and for the record, I think it's a worse idea than your first one." Bobby was quick to reply. There was another moment of silence and Bobby couldn't help but think of how the secret he had kept, had torn the other man's world apart. "Dean, John told me that you weren't his son but he never told me you were a Guardian Angel... That's something he kept to himself." He trailed off as he felt his heart hit the pit of stomach. "It's just one of those situations where you don't ask too many questions, you know?" Bobby continued, swallowing the lump that was caught in his throat. "John was devastated when your mother told him but they made it work, he loved her to death..."

"Bobby." Dean interrupted, instantly silencing the other man. "I'm sorry about last night; I was angry & out of line and I shouldn't have taken it out on you, or Sam, or Gabriel... Or even Dad." He paused for a moment as he took a deep breath, an attempt to keep the tears out of his eyes. "I just... the angels are worse than the demons right now and I just lost it when I found out that I was practically one of them..."

"Born a Guardian Angel or not." Bobby started, a slight grin to the corner of his lips as the young hunter caught his eyes. "You're a true Winchester, son. You're as determined as your mother was and as bullheaded as your father... Those angels don't stand a chance." He paused for only a moment as he watched Dean crack a smile, the first real one he'd seen in a very long time. "Now, what do you say we get you some breakfast?"

"Sounds good to me." Dean replied as they started making their way back towards the house.

"Oh and just so there's no surprises when you walk in that door." Bobby continued, pointing towards his home. "Gabriel spent the night and by the looks of it, he's going to be riding out the rest of the storm with us..."

"As I recall, he didn't really want to be a part of this." Dean replied, looking over to the man at his side. "He just wanted to let us know how to fight it."

"Yeah well, now that the angels are out for him too, he may have changed his mind." Bobby said as they made their way up the few steps leading up to the back porch. "...didn't change his attitude any though."

Sam got up from the edge of the desk he had been sitting on as Bobby and Dean entered the room. Without a word, he made his way towards his brother and simply pulled him into a hug; just happy to see that the other man had made it through such a restless night. "You alright?"

"You two really do redefine the word bromance, you know that?" Gabriel started, a smirk to the corner of his lips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Bite me." Sam hissed, glancing over his shoulder as he pulled away from the quick hug.

"I don't know, you might enjoy it a little too much..." The archangel continued with a wink.

When Sam turned to make his way across the room, Dean reached out to grab him by the shirt. "Dude relax, will you?" He said, watching as his younger brother looked back to catch his eyes. "The better the reaction, the more he's gonna push... You know that."

"I see that you're making a tad bit more sense this morning." Gabriel started, watching as Dean let go of his younger brother's shirt. "Considering the state of mind you were in last night, did you drink yourself sober or what?"

"If you want to live through this, Gabe..." Dean replied, his tone of voice low as he walked across the room to face the archangel that was leaning up against the wall. "Then I suggest you cut the crap." He paused for only a moment as he studied the other man carefully, taking notice of the bruise and deep gash along his cheek. "Don't piss me off and don't push your luck or I'll hand you over to them, you understand me?" He asked, watching as Gabriel gave him somewhat of a nod. "Good, now let's get our shit together."

Bobby and Sam exchanged a quick glance as Dean held Gabriel's eyes, the authority in his voice a little more demanding than usual. "Ok, well I'll get breakfast started." The veteran hunter announced, watching as the oldest Winchester made his way back to the desk in the middle of the living room. "Sam why don't you set up in the dinning room and see if you can find a frequency I can use to broadcast over the radio."

"That's a good idea and if you do pick anything up, there's a really good chance we'll be able to keep in touch." Dean said as he stretched the maps Bobby had been working on across the desk. "Or that you can at least let us know what's going on at your end..."

"I somehow doubt Lucifer is going to let you keep in touch, he's not stupid." Gabriel started as he pushed himself away from the wall.

"Yeah well neither am I." Dean replied without looking up. "I made sure he agreed to a few things before I called it a deal."

"You do realize that he's probably anticipating the ace or two you boys have up your sleeves, right..." Gabriel continued, watching as Dean went on studying the maps that were open in front of him.

"Hey Gabe, you're a pro at getting around real quick. why don't you go take a jog and see what's left along the north/west?" Dean asked, reaching under the table to pull a pistol from his packed duffle bag.

"Why north/west?" Sam asked, leaning forward to take a glance at the open map.

"Because by the look of things, that's where they're headed next." Dean replied, his eyes drifting from his brother to the archangel nearby. "Here, take one of our guns with you." He said, reaching out to pass the weapon along to the archangel. "Just in case you have another run in with your brothers..."

Gabriel shook his head as he reached for his long silver blade. "I've got my own, thanks."

"Yeah, and so do they." Dean was quick to reply. "You'll beat them to the draw if you carry a gun." He continued, watching as the archangel reluctantly took the gun from his hands. "You do know how to use it, right?"

Bobby couldn't help but let out a chuckle as Gabriel flipped Dean off and then vanished from the living room. "It'll be a miracle if he comes back to put up with you two." The veteran hunter said as he headed into the kitchen.

Dean let out a heavy sigh as he studied one of many maps, all of them marking a path of destruction that seemed to show no mercy. In the room nearby he could hear the low hum of static and white noise as Sam and Bobby fiddled around with all the electronics they could get their hands on. Between the high pitch whine of feedback and the countless cussing, he wondered if they were making any progress at all. When an ear shattering hiss, quickly followed by more swearing suddenly filled the air, he couldn't help but wince. "How's it going in there guys?" He called out, taking a quick glance at the clock on the wall as it continued to tick away.

"At this rate, we'll be shattering windows before we broadcast anything over the radio..." Bobby muttered, the frustration in his voice more than obvious.

He let out a yawn as he turned his attention back to the maps and the information Bobby had gathered. The pattern was right there in front of him but what he couldn't quite seem to figure out was who had gotten there first; the angels or the demons. When Castiel suddenly appeared out of thin air and slapped a hand down on the desk in front of him, he couldn't help but jump. The sound of the angel's silver blade hitting the desk was like an unexpected punch to the chest; stealing the air from his lungs and sending his heart racing into his throat. He swallowed hard and as he looked up to catch the angel's blue eyes; the continuous rumble of thunder and the hiss of static instantly faded into the background.

"I want you to cut out my wings." Castiel growled, holding the young hunter's eyes as he slid his silver blade across the desk between. "I don't want them anymore."

There was a moment of silence as Dean's gaze drifted down to the angel's weapon; the stark words circling in his head. "You want me to what?" He asked, trying to calm his racing heart as he looked back up to catch those piercing blue eyes.

"Cut out my wings." Castiel curtly replied, his low tone of voice resonating in the room as his words hit the floor. "I want you to cut out my wings."

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Dean started softly, taking a deep breath as he studied the angel carefully. Something was wrong, that much he knew.

"If you don't do it for me, then I'll rip 'em out myself." Castiel hissed, his eyes narrowing on the man in front of him for only a moment before darting up towards the door as both Sam and Bobby abruptly turned the corner.

Dean took a quick glance over his shoulder as Sam reached for the gun that was tucked in the back of his belt. He put a hand up to stop his brother before turning his attention back to the obviously distraught angel in front of him. "Just relax for a second and tell me what's wrong." He asked, watching as Castiel's cautious eyes stayed glued to Sam and Bobby in the doorway. "Cas..."

"You were right about Zachariah, you were right about him lying to get me on their side." Castiel suddenly started, doing little to hide the anger in his voice as his eyes met Dean's. "I was stupid to think that they'd give me a second chance, after everything I've done, I should have known better and I should have seen what they were after..." He paused for only a moment as he thought of what he could have done differently to avoid the situation they now found themselves in. "The angels are ruthless and determined to get their way, they'll stop at nothing to win this war, to overtake mankind." He continued, hating himself for having blindly followed the orders that had lead them to Armageddon. "I've seen their intentions and I'll have no part in this malicious game of theirs."

"Cas, what did they do to you?" Dean was quick to ask, almost feeling the disgust and resentment in the angel's voice. "What did Zachariah do that made you angry enough, to want to rip out your own wings?"

There was a moment of silence as the angel sucked in a shallow breath. "Angry doesn't come close." He snapped, his words as sharp as the blade still pinned between his hand and the desk. "Zachariah made me break the one thing Jimmy made me promise; that his family would be safe. The son of a bitch made me watch as they killed Jimmy's wife and daughter. Zachariah made HIM watch because I didn't want to help them get to you!"

When Dean's eyes drifted down to the dark red stain on the bottom of Castiel's white shirt, he couldn't help but swallow hard. "Cas are you bleeding?" He asked quietly, well aware of the dangerously unstable mix of anger, guilt, despair and anguish that circled the angel in front of him like a raging storm. When he leaned forward to push Castiel's overcoat aside, the angel pulled away.

"Jimmy's dead." Castiel declared, his voice void of emotion as he straightened out. "He practically begged me to do it."

"You killed him?" Sam asked from the doorway, he too eying the dark stain on the angel's white shirt.

"He watched his family die at the hands of angels, they cheated him and he wanted out." Castiel explained, his eyes once again narrowing on the man at the desk in front of him. "Now I want out too." He continued, pulling his overcoat off and tossing it to a chair nearby. "I would rather follow you back into Hell than let the angels have their way."

"Cas, you're not..."

"I won't take no for an answer." The angel spat, cutting into the other man's sentence. "The last thing I need in Hell is this target on my back." When Dean looked away, Castiel cleared his throat to get his attention. He held the hunter's eyes as he once again pushed his blade across the cluttered desk. "I've done more for you, than you have for me... you OWE me this much."

"I can't, Cas..." He started, his words almost lost in the silence that filled the room.

"Why not?" The angel asked, leaning forward to place both hands on the desk between them. "Do you forget how I found you when I pulled you from Hell?" He paused for only a moment as he watched the other man's eyes drop down to the sharp blade. "Because I don't." He continued. "You did things like this all the time and if you intend on going back to the pit and fighting for Hell, you'll be expected to pick up right where you left off..."

Dean closed his eyes for a moment as he thought of all the souls he'd tortured in Hell. Though all of them were human, they were strangers to him, people he didn't know or care about. He was prepared to go back to his old ways if it meant convincing Lucifer he was fighting for the same cause but this was different. He hesitated as he tired to find his words. "I can't do it Cas, not to you."

"I know you still have it in you." Castiel went on. "C'mon Dean, why don't you show your little brother what you're really capable of and what it is exactly that he's getting himself into."

"Back off Cas..." Sam interrupted, pulling the gun from the back of his belt as he watched his older brother falter.

"Why should I." The angel was quick to reply as he straightened out and turned his attention from the man in front of him to the one in the doorway.

"Because I said so." Sam barked, loading the gun as the angel grabbed the blade from the cluttered desk. Though it was a scenario that had played out once before, the smirk that crossed the angel's face made a shiver crawl down the young hunter's spine.

"Then you do it." Castiel started softly, turning the blade in his hand. "You want to follow him into Hell? Then it's time for you to show me just how thick that skin of yours really is..."

When Gabriel suddenly appeared between them, Sam couldn't help but swear under his breath. "He's right you know, those wings in Hell are just asking for trouble." The archangel started, watching as the younger man lowered his gun "And if you do intend on tagging along, you can bet your ass you'll be doing worse than just clipping some angel wings..."

"How's it look Gabriel." Dean suddenly started, his gaze finally drifting back up from the desk in front of him. "Who's got a better foot hold, Angels or Demons?"

There was a moment of silence as the archangel studied the other man. The emptiness in his eyes told him all he really needed to know; Dean was beyond any breaking point he could truly recover from. "The demons do." He said softly, watching as Dean offered somewhat of a smirk and a nod. "The angels are killing more people than they're convincing and those who do find vessels, are having a hard time keeping the demons off their backs. Some towns were ambushed by angels before the demons even got there. It's Hell on earth alright but the demons had nothing to do with any of it." He paused for only a moment as he took a deep breath. "By the looks of it, Lucifer's winning but Michael is willing and ready to send in everyone's he's got... "

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bobby asked from the doorway, straightening out as Gabriel turned to face him.

"It means that the angels aren't going to back down." Castiel cut in, still clutching his blade. "Michael's too proud for that and he's going to die before he gives up... It may look like the demons have the upper hand but just remember that the angels LET them break all those seals to set Lucifer free. This may be a ruse, it could turn on a dime."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Dean growled, pushing himself away from the desk as he got to his feet. "Cas if you want to tag along that 's your choice, but I'm not cutting the wings off your back."

"Fine, then I'll rip them out myself." The angel replied, setting his blade down on the desk as he started to undo the tie around his neck.

"You know, I'm astound at the devotion you have to follow this guy around but take it from an angel that knows; cutting your own wings out is easier said than done." There was a short moment of silence as Gabriel reached for his own blade. "Trust me little brother, it's not something you want to be doing by yourself."

"Guys, I don't think..."

"It's his call, Bobby." Dean was quick to interrupt, his eyes drifting over to the clock on the wall. "If he wants to renounce his angelhood, that's his choice." He continued, his gaze catching Castiel's eyes. "But I wont be the reason and I want no part in it."

Sam swallowed hard as his older brother turned and started to walk away, grabbing a bottle of whisky from one of the many piles of books that lined the living room. Without another word or a glance, Dean made his way down the hall and out the back door, letting the porch door slam shut behind him The shift was more than apparent and as he watched his older brother make his way to the scrap yard, Sam wondered if Gabriel was right about Dean's current state. When his eyes met Bobby's who was still standing in the doorway, he cleared his throat. "Alright, better get this done fast." He announced, pointing the two renegade angels to the stairs nearby. "We've got a date with the Devil that we can't afford to miss."