Greased Lightning

Chapter Two

The Beat Goes On

It was pretty late at night, around 8 : 30 or so, when I got home.

When I opened the door and went to the living room and found two of the closest friends I could ever ask. The older one, who was being messaged by his younger brother. At first, they both looked at me real surprised with eyes that would shine out the words, "Ponyboy, is that you?" But they dulled back slightly when they found nothing but me.

It didn't bother me so much, I mean I probably would've done the same thing if I were them. I keep going to the movies or taking walks and go homearound the same times as he always did anyway.

They miss their dead brother...My best friend, and no matter how much any of us wished that week never happened, nothing was gonna change that. I still wish it were me who had the switchblade and killed Bob, then it wouldn't matter so much to anyone, right? I didn't have a family - a real one, that is. But Ponyboy did, and a damn good one too.

"Hey, kiddo. Why are you out so late?" Darry never hollered at me, he knew it wouldn't be right, but honestly, I wouldn't mind it so much. Whatever he could say, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as Mom and Dad would say, and Darry would only do it because he actually cared, Mom and Dad sure as hell didn't.

Though, ever since he's gone, he treats me an awful lot like him. Which I really liked, it felt good that someone cared about me for once.

"Yeah, Johnny. You know we're really worried about you, you're like family too. Just like Steve and Two-Bit." Soda said, hiding his actual hidden fear of something. But he grinned at me, and that statement made my heart flutter. Of course I have a family; it's them and golly, they're a helluva lot better than my old one.

"Sorry guys. I promise I won't be out all the time, m'kay?" I felt a little guilty for making them worry.

"No, we ain't you're parents, little buddy. Just try to keep outta trouble, ya' hear?"

I smiled, I just had too, "Sure."

"But can you not smoke in the house?"

"Okay," I put it out and dropped it a garbage can. Soda said that Darry never really let Ponyboy smoke in the house when he was still alive and I didn't like them giving me special treatment or anything like that. I still smoked an awful lot, probably now more than ever; but it didn't bother me some when a friend would ask me to stop.

I know Ponyboy died a smoker. I wonder when he first started smoking. (Oh yeah...) I looked a little down, but luckily then didn't see me. The answer to that was a little off. Pony had been offered drugs like smoke a long while ago. He was already my friend when I was 9 and he was 7 and I was smoking by then. I told him then that I didn't think it was such a hot idea for him to smoke, though. I remember he tried a few times when he was like 12 or 13 but never really started smoke like he did until after his parents died.

I wonder if the fire started because of a cigarette.

...

"Soda, c'mon man, rub harder."

"No Darry, I don't like how you're always workin' so hard now. And you need all the sleep you can get." Soda wasn't lying. Since Ponyboy died, Darry had been working almost non-stop; taking extra hours whenever he can. I wasn't so sure why since I tried not to eat too much so the groceries won't cost so much. But then I remembered something that deeply bothered me and all of us.

Ponyboy still hadn't gotten a funeral...They were real expensive, and there's no way my best friend and their brother was gonna go without one. He's too much of a good kid for that to happen.

I wonder, if it were me, would I have a funeral? I know they couldn't give me one, and I know Mom and Dad wouldn't.

Turning his attention back to me, Soda hollered out, "Hey Johnny, there's still some food left in the kitchen. Go ahead eat, man." I followed his suggestion and helped myself to eat. I finished soon since I never ate too much. I finally learned how to cook, even if just a little. I was proud I could do something that'll help my friends, especially since Two-Bit's always here and trying to raid the fridge a lot.

And then, I noticed something that scared me something awful. I trembled fiercely but didn't let Soda or Darry see. And now that I think about it, Darry did seem a little off or out of it, ya' know?

"Darry..." I looked as pale as a ghost. I hated him doing this, Soda did too.

"Yeah, Johnnycake?" he asked.

"Are you...Are you drunk?" There were empty bottles of alcohol in the kitchen.

He rose his head up and looked at me real tired-like and sounded a little ashamed when he said, "Yeah... Don't worry so much, Johnnycake. I'll be fine." Somehow I wasn't entirely sure of that, I could never be.

I just hate alcohol.

"Okay," I swore to myself under my breath; I barely sounded like I believed him. I knew they could tell, and he didn't deserve that from me. Not after all they've done for me.

"Well guys," Darry got up and stretched his muscular arms out, ignoring the clear lack of faith in my comment. "I think I'd best hit the hay."

"Okay, g'night Dare," me and Soda both said at the same time. I followed suite and went to Pony's - er my room, now.

I felt real low and jumped onto that bed that wasn't mine. The door opened and I saw the big brother of my now dead best friend.

He walked up and sat on the bed, sitting behind me. "Hey Johnny, you okay?"

(Heck no!) I responded with a weak, "Yeah..." Soda obviously didn't believe me. I guess I made it a little easy for him, but Ponyboy always told me how Sodapop could understand everything, almost. He told me he loved his brother more than anyone, maybe even more than his parents. He told me about how Soda would always stick up for him, or how he could make anyone grin no matter what. Soda always believed in his brother and I don't think Pony could ever live without his big brother.

So now, I'm wondering...Just how did Soda take it? He probably panicked at first, searching for us non-stop. But Soda wasn't stupid, no matter how much he believed that. He found Pony's dark blue sweatshirt at Buck's house and noticed how Dal was too cool with me being gone. He was the only who figured it out, that's what Steve told me. Soda could figure anything out, if he were doing it for Ponyboy.

I think that's real tuff, and I know Dally could do the same if it were for me. I'd like to think of Dally as the Sodapop to my Ponyboy, but that just didn't seem right. Even so, I'd like to think of like that, I'm surprised I'm doing so well without him. I guess it's because he wouldn't want me to mope around all the time, if he were still alive.

I know he wouldn't.

"Soda, would Darry drink if Pony was still alive instead of me?" There was a long pause before he said anything.

"Now Johnny don't you go think like that. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. We'll never know that, now." That didn't help so much, but at least he was trying, right?

Soda got a little closer, "C'mon, have faith in him, Johnny. Darry always hated the idea of drinking and you know that," his voice was solemn and got a little sadder. "We - he just needs some more time to move on since..." His words grew slower and slower, "Since Pony died..."

He was real down too and I didn't like it. I shouldn't be bringing anyone down with me, especially not someone like Sodapop. They deserve better from me. "Soda I'm sorry I brought it up..."

He snapped out of it, "No, it's okay...We'll be fine, Johnny, honest." He gave me a big, reassuring grin, that same one he did all the time to cheer up Ponyboy.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, "Okay, Soda." I looked at a clock and it said 9 : 13, "I think Darry'll want us to go to bed, there's school tomorrow."

"Okay, g'night Johnny," he left the room.

And then the thought just hit me. (Maybe Soda's not handling Ponyboy's death as well as I thought. Him and Darry both.) I hated the thought.

...

I left the room without turning off the lights and headed towards the living room. I just had to know, Soda... Darry was in his room, I knew that. The living room lights were off too. Soda told me that it wasn't the same, his room. The leftover smell of cigarettes heavily encased the air, not to mention all of his stuff were all still there. I don't think he can stand seeing all that so well, but I don't think he could bare the thought of moving it all. They were basically the last remnants of his little brother left. Maybe that was why he'd sleep on the sofa all the time, he just couldn't stay there...

I heard a soft, but steady cry from the living room.

...

(What the heck's wrong with me? Why am I taking their death's so well? Ponyboy, he died a hero. He shouldn't have died, dang it! He had something that almost all greasers didn't. A future, and I was no exception. What will be in my future?

...Fuckin' Socs! It's all their fault this happened...

What gave them the right, anyway? They're no better than I or any other greaser. So what if they have more money and dress nicer, does that make them better people? No, it doesn't!

I remember in Windrixville, Ponyboy told me how he and Cherry could talk like there was no real difference between Socs and us. He said that Socs are just people, just like us. But who would do stuff like this? I just don't know...

My thoughts went back at Ponyboy and Dally.

Ponyboy's last words were, "Stay gold, Johnny. Stay gold."

But what did that mean? Gold? I'm not gold, am I?

And Dally...He died for me! But why? I should've taken that bullet...Not him, why did he push me away?

I had the shot, I could've killed the guy, but no...

And because of that, Dally's...)

I couldn't sleep that night...My thoughts, they went on and lasted forever.

In school, during lunch. I went and found Steve and he drove me to this local food joint. I didn't feel bad at all, leaving the school, the Socs were makin' a big mess in the lunch room at school anyway. We'd bet money that they'll blame all of us for all the trouble their causing - throwing silverware and napkins and stuff. We all just laughed at the thought; no real greasers actually stayed in our school to eat lunch anyway. And it wasn't only because the food was crap and expensive too.

Steve bought me a Pepsi, Soda's and Pony's favorite. I like them too but I could never chug them like they could.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?" Steve asked.

"Nah, I'm not hungry."

He looked at me with disbelief, "Yeah right! I've seen you, Soda and Pony have eating contests when there was enough food! So what if Soda'd usually win? Y'all were pretty darn close, most of the time." Steve was right, but I just wasn't for some reason. I shrugged.

A tuff looking car had to come by driving toward us. "Great, what do they want?" Steve stood up, lookin' tough and his hand was positioned like he'd pull out a gun or switchblade if the situation called for it.

Four Socs, ones I didn't recognize. I sat coolly, idly drinking my Pepsi and paying absolutely no mind to them Social dirtbags.

"Hey, grease. You know we dun like nobody killin' our friend. Especially not by dirty scum like you."

(No really? What about Pony and Dally? Of course they'd never consider things from our side. So why should we? And besides, I wasn't the one killed him, either. If you really cared about him, then you'd know that.) I stayed silent and felt...odd. I'm not so sure how to put it - not scared, not so mad, or anything really. I don't even know.

"He had more to live for than any of you greasers."

(Maybe Bob did, but that doesn't make him above us.) They walked a little closer trying to look menacing.

But it didn't phase me at all, I busted the end off my bottle and held on the neck. "You get back into your car or you'll get split, ya' dig?"

They backed up slightly (Maybe they don't have weapons with them, they really can't be that dumb. Can they?)

Though they didn't seem like they believed me. "I mean it," I stood up and took a step closer to them.

I dunno what Steve meant when he said, "Johnny?" real quiet, so I ignored it a little.

I must've looked real sour when I said, "I've had just about all I can take from you guys." I started toward them, holding the bottle the way Tim Shepard holds a blade - out and away from myself, in a loose but firm grip. I guess they knew I was serious because they all hopped into their car and tailed off.

"You would have really used that bottle, wouldn't ya?" I looked back down at the shattered glass on the street.

"I guess so," I let out a sigh. It's not like I would be proud to do so, but would I be sorry? No.

I dunno what Steve was sweating about, anybody else would have done the same thing and Steve wouldn't have thought about it twice. I didn't notice anything serious, but he still looked at me awful worried, "Now look, Johnny, don't you get all tough. You're not like the rest of us and don't try to be..." I still didn't know what Steve was worrying about. It's like what Dally told me...

Steve's voice broke into my thoughts, "What in the world are you doing?"

I looked back at him, "What? Pickin' up the glass." He stared at me for a second then grinned.

"You little, son-of-a-bitch," he was grinning ear-to-ear. Well, it's not like I didn't know that already. Still not sure what he was getting at, I just went on picking up the glass from the bottle end and put it in a trash can. I don't want anyone getting a flat tire or anything.

I went home lost in thought. I just walked there like me and Pony used to all the time. I wonder if Steve and Two-Bit'll be mad at me for like ditching them. Oh well, they know I like walking from school nowadays.

So Pony...Dally...

Has anything really happened since they died? I don't think anything's really changed.

Even though we've beaten the Socs in that rumble, it didn't do much. Socs still try to jump greasers and we keep defending ourselves to the end.

So was their death in vain?

I saw a couple greasers and Socs in a pretty big fight. I didn't bother helping, the Socs knew better then to go way over here at this time of the day. They didn't need my help at all.

I guess it's safe to say nothing's really different after all.

...

And even though that same song has gone,

The Beat Still Goes On...

Author's Note:

This is a major AU fanfic, a lot of things will be similar but different. It probably won't be the longest fic I'll write. And there will be a lot of direct references to the book.

Don't expect an update for a long while, like in a month or something..