Happy Holidays Folks! :)

CHAPTER 9
So what if you can see, the darker side of me?

"Why did Lucifer split us up!" Sam demanded, turning to the woman that had followed them out of Hell. "Why did he want to keep Dean and Cas down below!"

"You're going to have to ask him that, not me." Bela replied, instantly silencing as the other man pushed her up against the wall.

"Now you listen to me." Sam snarled, holding her in place. "We're not playing games anymore. We have a few days to find and stop Michael before he and his angels wipe us off the face of the earth, before Michael and Lucifer got to war!"

"What are you so worried about." She started, showing no fear at all as the other man towered over her. "Even if this does go to war, you're not among those that are going to die... You're with Hell now and you're as good as a demon." "I am not a demon." Sam hissed, his grip tightening when she reached up to put her hands on his arm. "We only joined Lucifer to put Michael back in his place, before this gets out of hand."

"It's already gotten out of hand." She said softly. "Like it not, Michael won't back down, his angels are going to continue their killing spree and there will be a war."

Gabriel swallowed hard as he eyed the Hell hounds that turned the corner at the end of the hall. "Uh, Sam." He started, reaching out to tap the other man on the shoulder. "Maybe you should let her go before the bitch tears ya a new one." He said, reaching for the gun that Dean had passed him. When Sam turned slightly to catch the archangel's eyes, he spotted the large dogs and instantly released his grip on the woman.

"You didn't really think I came alone, did you?" She asked with a smirk, her tone of voice pulling the other man's eyes away from the beast down the hall. "Lucifer knows what he's doing and I'm sure he has good reason to split you up." She explained, her gaze drifting from one man to the other. "You made a deal, and you're just going to have to trust him."

"Dean made a deal." Sam was quick to reply. "My trust is with Dean, not Lucifer."

"Well that's going to have to change." She continued, pausing for only a moment as thunder growled overhead. "Believe me, Sam I had my doubts about him too." She said, her tone softening ever so slightly. "But Lucifer isn't exactly the devil the angels made him out to be. It's his demons that give him the bad reputation and it's their human nature, or what's left of it, that makes them so malicious... He's nothing like the demons in his control."

"You sound like a schoolgirl with a crush..." Gabriel said, pulling her attention away from Sam for only a moment. "Sorry to say, but I think he's out of your league sister."

When Bela reached for the blade that was strapped to her side, Sam reached out to pull the archangel away from her. "What do you mean Bela?" He asked, shoving Gabriel behind him and getting a hold of the conversation before it turned deadly. "Lucifer was cast out of Heaven because he refused to put mankind first, because he..."

"Yeah and the angels are here to keep you safe..." Bela cut in, her eyes drifting over the other man's shoulder to catch Gabriel's for only a moment. "I know the story Sam, everyone who believes in God has their own version, but take a good hard look at what's going on around you; you can't tell me that you still believe everything you've been told on the matter..."

"Not all of them have gone rogue." Gabriel defended. "They're just following orders."

"Out of fear Michael is going to cast them out too." Bela continued. "Tell me Gabriel, when you were proud to be one of them, did you ever dare doubt what big brother said about anything? Or did you keep your head down, your mouth shut and follow along just like the rest of them?" She paused for only a moment as she watched his eyes drift down to the floor. "As far as I'm concerned, Lucifer's done nothing wrong and the only reason he was thrown into Hell in the first place, was to keep the other angels in line... They'll do whatever Michael tells them to now, because if Michael could cast his closest brother out of Heaven, he certainly wouldn't think twice about doing it to them... Fear is a powerful tool."

"Sorry Bela, but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him like you do." Sam replied, his gaze darting to the Hell hounds down the hall. "After everything he's done to..."

"See that's the thing." She cooed. "Lucifer hasn't actually done anything to deserve this cold shoulder from you or your brother... He isn't like his demons and when he was down below, he had no control over the lucky ones that got to walk among you..."

"They did much more than just walk among us, Bela." Sam growled, feeling his anger start to rise as he listened to her defend the Devil himself. Lucifer's demons were responsible for the death of his mother and girlfriend, the deal John made to save his brother, the deal Dean made to save him and the years of torture both had endured in Hell. Because of Azazel, he has demon blood, because of Ruby, he'd been lead astray and because of Alastair, Dean was no longer the same man. "I'll do whatever we have too to stop Heaven." He stated, his tone of voice low. "But don't downplay the role Lucifer had, in making our lives a living Hell."

"Oh sweetheart you haven's seen Hell just yet." Bela calmly replied. "But when you do catch a glimpse, be sure to thank the angels that made it all possible. Oh and FYI, the knife you carry around, the one that Ruby bitch always had on her, it didn't come from down below, it came from Heaven. They gave it to her so she could make sure other demons didn't get in the way of their end game." She paused for only a moment as she let her words sink, the silence shattered by the thunder that made the house around them shake. "Just though you should know. Now we have work to do, so gather your weapons, get one last good night's sleep and meet me in Scythe come sun up."

"The sun hasn't come up around theses parts for days." Gabriel added, shrugging when Sam glanced over his shoulder to catch his eyes. "Well it's true."

"Don't be late or you're on your own." Bela replied without missing a beat.

When the sound of footsteps on the stairs caught their attention, both Sam and Gabriel turned on the spot, surprised to see that the Hell hounds were gone.

"Where the Hell have you been!" Bobby hollered as he reached the top of the stairs, shotgun in hand. "I know you had a date with the Devil but I didn't think all four of you would be going under!" He paused for only a moment as the pair took a quick look behind them. "I thought I heard you talking to someone else." He started, looking passed the two at the open bathroom door behind them.

"We were talking to someone else." Sam was quick to reply. "Remember Bela?"

"Yeah, she took the Colt right out from under your nose." Bobby said, bringing the shotgun down to his side. "What about her?"

"Yeah well, she's watching over us to make sure the angels don't jump us." Sam explained, his eyes scanning the hall for any sign of the woman or her Hell hounds. "So if you do see her, resist the urge to shoot."

There was a moment of silence as Bobby carefully eyed the pair. "You're joking right?" He started, swearing under his breath as Sam shook his head. "Where's your brother and Cas?" He finally asked.

When Sam hesitated, Gabriel cleared his throat. "In Hell." He replied, pulling the veteran hunter's attention away from the other man at his side. "Seems old Lucifer had other plans for Dean so now we're stuck together and they're stuck in the pit." The archangel quickly explained. "Not to worry though, surely things can't get any worse..."

When Bobby looked over, Sam did what he could just to avoid his eyes. "If we all come out of this alive." He growled, his tone of voice low. "I swear I'm going to kill ya myself..." He paused for only a moment as Sam finally caught his eyes. "This deal of yours is going to keep changing until Lucifer gets what he wants from you. It was a bad plan right from the start and you knew it, Sam. YOU KNEW IT!"

"It's not a bad plan until it fails." The younger man replied, swallowing hard as Bobby stared him down.

"Then for his sake and yours." Bobby growled, unable to keep his frustration from surfacing any longer. "You better. make sure it doesn't fail."

Dean turned the rusty key in his hand as he made his way across the old warehouse floor. It was a path he walked many times before, but one he hadn't walked in years. Demons hurried to get out of his way as others kept their distance, showing him that after all those years, they still feared him. "Hey Cas, there's something I wanted to ask you..." He started, taking a quick glance at the disgraced angel by his side. "Did you know I was Sam's Guardian Angel when you yanked me out of here?"

There was a moment of silence as Castiel tried to gauge the other man's reaction to the news that everyone around him knew the truth behind his true identity, except him. "Yes, I did." He finally replied, unable to lessen yet another blow to the young hunter's trust. "I didn't..."

"No need to explain, Cas. I just wanted to know." Dean interrupted, sucking in a shallow breath as they reached the large steel door. He studied it for a moment before forcing the key into the lock and turning it against the rust and grime to unlock it. "Here we go..." He said simply, pushing the large door open and stepping inside, leaving Castiel in the doorway. The lights flickered a few times before staying on to illuminate a hell all of its own. Though the memories of the place were hazy for Dean, they were crystal clear for the angel that had pulled him from damnation and they still cut him to the core. When Dean's eyes focused on the outline of at least four sets of wings scorched across the floor and walls, he couldn't help but feel sick to his stomach. "Cas, did I do this?" He asked, his words barely coming together as he studied the grisly scene; trying his best to remember what had happened the day Castiel had come for him.

"Your minions did." The angel replied simply, reluctantly stepping foot into the room. "When we came for you, you had an army at your beck & call and they didn't exactly let you go without a fight."

Dean swallowed the lump that was caught in his throat as he made his way over the mess that covered the floor. A steel tray lay on its side near the middle, every shape and size of blade strewn across the floor nearby. Heavy chains and hooks hung from the ceiling above, the drain in the floor below them stained and crusted with what he could only assume was dry blood; and lots of it. "Cas, why can't I remember any of this?" He asked quietly. "I know I tortured souls in Hell, I know it happened, so why can I only remember bits and pieces of those years?"

"When Alastair broke you, he took a piece of your humanity, of your soul, that you might never get back." Castiel quietly started. "You regret what you've done and as a result you've repressed those memories; you only remember what you want to, but you know the wounds are there." He paused for only a moment as his gaze drifted down to a rusty, blood stained Sickle on the ground in front of him. "Some of your cuts are so deep, it may take years for those memories to surface, that is if they ever surface at all..." He continued, looking back up to catch the other man's eyes. "Trust me Dean, none of those memories are worth remembering anyhow."

"Cas, I need to know what happened that day." Dean started, his voice bouncing off the walls around them. "All I remember is waking up in my own grave, I just need to know what happened here... How many angels came for me?"

"There were five of us." Castiel replied frankly, watching as the young hunter's eyes studied the remnants of wings scorched across the walls and floor around them. "They held your minions off the best they could while I grabbed a hold of you and pulled you out of here."

There was a moment of silence as Dean closed his eyes, desperately trying to piece together his past. Even though he stood in the same room with the same angel at his side, he couldn't recall the day he had been pulled from Hell. When a knock at the door caught his attention, he turned on the spot.

"Sir, the angel is bound and ready for you in the other room." The demon started, avoiding all eye contact with Dean as he stood in the doorway. "I was told to let you know."

Dean sucked in a breath as he pulled a blade from the side of his belt. "Wait in the hall, I'll be out in a minute." He replied, watching as the demon gave him a nod and stepped out of the room. He let out a sigh as he passed a finger along the side of the blade and over the Sigil that now graced its handle.

"This isn't right." Castiel quietly started, pulling the other man's attention away from the blade in his hands.

"It wasn't right when you made me do it to Alastair either." Dean was quick to reply.

"I was wrong when I put you up to it." Castiel interrupted. "I realize that now. When I saw you pick up that blade and turn towards him... the hatred I saw in your eyes, the malice..."

"Cas you might not like where this is going, but you knew where it was heading before you decided to tag along." Dean cut in, his tone of voice low.

"I was angry." Castiel replied simply. "And what I said was irrational."

"We need to find Michael and we need to stop Heaven, any way that we can." Dean continued, watching as the angel's eyes drifted down to the blade in his hand. "If this is what it'll take to get a straight answer out of Zachariah, then I'm sorry, but this is what I've got to do."

Castiel swallowed hard as he watched the young hunter make his way towards the door and the demon that was waiting for him out in the hall. "Just don't forget the reason you're doing it." He started solemnly, stopping the other man in his tracks for only a moment.

Dean followed the demon down the hall, his grip on the blade tightening slightly as he let Castiel's voice circle in his head; mixing and tangling with Sam, Bobby and even Gabriel's opinion on the matter. Deep down he knew it was wrong, but after everything Zachariah had put him through, all he really wanted was a taste of revenge, something to ease the world of pain on his shoulders. When they reached the large steel doors and he peered inside to see Zachariah strung up in chains, he couldn't help but let the smile creep up to the corner of his lips. The superior angel stood with his feet just barely touching the ground, his hands bound by chains high above his head and a strange Sigil etched into the ground beneath him. His black overcoat lay on the floor nearby and his white shirt was torn open at the front, revealing another Sigil carved right into his chest.

Like an addict trying to recover in the worst of times, the sight alone was enough to draw him back into a state of mind he thought he'd be strong enough to put behind him for good. Though he would never admit it to another soul, his years spent in Hell, after he was pulled off the rack, were some of the easiest of his life. He had never felt so in control, so in charge of everything around him and standing there outside the large steel door, he could hardly wait to feel that way again, if only for a moment. "What's the symbol in his chest for?" He asked, his eyes never leaving the captured angel.

"It's to keep him bound to his human vessel, sir." The demon was quick to reply. "He's a prisoner in his own host."

"Cas, is that true?" The young hunter asked, taking a quick glance over his shoulder.

"Yes, and it will also prevent him from making use of Heaven's powers." Castiel replied quietly. "He's completely at your mercy." There was a short moment of silence as Dean offered a nod, his gaze drifting back into the room at the angel awaiting his tactics.

"If you don't succeed in getting an answer from him." The demon started, breaking the awkward silence. "We have also captured nearly a dozen or so members of his entourage.

Dean nodded again as he let out a sigh. "Alright thank you." He managed as he watched the demon turn away, never once having caught his eyes. There was another moment of silence and as he passed the blade from his left hand to the right, thoughts of what his brother would have to say about this scorched his conscious. "Cas, I think it's better if you just wait out here." He started softly without looking over. "I don't really want you to see this."

"I had no intention of joining you." Castiel curtly replied. "Because I don't want to see you do this."

Dean pushed the large door open and stepped into the room, the sound of it screeching on its hinges echoing down the hall. When he pushed the door shut, he turned the lock and pulled the plate down to cover the small window opening. Standing with his back to the room he quickly collected his thoughts; right and wrong were now the same and only he knew just how fine that line he walked really was. There was a part of him that wanted nothing to do with any of this, but another part of him that was anticipating the sight of Zachariah's blood on his blade, trickling onto the floor at his feet. It was the control and power that he craved and tonight, he was going to get what he wanted. When he turned to face the angel, the smug smile he hated so much was the very first thing he noticed.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen, am I right?" Zachariah started, his voice bouncing off the walls around them. "Had I known you were going to sink this low, I would have just left you where we found you in the first place."

"Maybe you should have." Dean was quick to reply, casually making his way over towards the angel strung up in the middle of the room. His footsteps echoed deep inside and though he relished the moment, he knew each step he took was another nail in his coffin... His only regret; acknowledging the fact that he no longer cared enough to stop himself from doing this. With his morals and conscious locked away somewhere safe, he came to a stop in front of Zachariah and carefully set his sharp blade down on a tray nearby. "Alright I'm going to make this very simple." He started, removing his leather jacket and tossing it onto a steel table off to the side. "You either tell me where Michael is and I finish you off real quick, or you don't tell me and I take my time." There was a short moment of silence as he rolled up his sleeves, letting the angel in front of him gauge his bleak options. "It's your choice but either way, I'm going to get an answer out of you." He continued, reaching over to pick up his blade.

"What are you going to do, Dean?" Zachariah asked, his permanent smirk still plastered to the corner of his lips. "Torture an angel of the Lord?'

"I will if I have to." Dean replied frankly, taking a step forward to close the little distance there was between them. Using the large blade in his hand, he reached out to move aside a shred of the angel's shirt, taking a better look at the Sigil that had been carved right into his chest. "If I have to cut, carve and bleed you until you tell me where Michael is, then I'm going to do it." He said, his tone of voice laced with malice as he ran the back of the blade over the markings that were holding the angel prisoner. "I'm going to get what I came for..." He declared as he caught the angel's eyes. "And I'm going to enjoy every single moment."

"You know, it's nice to see that your true colors are finally starting to come through..." Zachariah cooed, his eyes never leaving those of the young hunter in front of him. "The part of you that's an angel, is just as wicked and twisted as the rest of us..."

Dean didn't hesitate as he took that first slash, instantly silencing the angel as his sharp blade slid through the flesh with ease. "I'm not one of you." He hissed, his menacing tone of voice piercing the moment of silence between them.

Zachariah winced slightly as the blood started seeping from the deep gash in his right side. "Unfortunately you are." He continued softly, grinning through the pain of a second slash right to his rib cage. "You can deny it all you want little brother but that won't make it any less the truth." He paused for only a moment as he struggled to catch his breath. "Dean, I can see right through that charade you're putting on... I see how broken you are, how lost and empty you feel." The angel continued, sucking in a ragged breath. "You failed your one and only purpose in life and now it's eating you up inside. You're pathetic Dean, even you don't think you deserve the air in your lungs."

"You know nothing about me." Dean said simply, his gaze drifting down to the blood soaked blade in his hand and the puddle that was gathering on the ground at his feet.

" I know that you're giving into everything you've always hated about yourself." Zachariah continued, bracing himself as Dean's blade sliced into his shoulder. "You're such a lire; claiming to do all of this for the good of mankind when all you really want is the chance to spill some blood... This isn't about stopping the Apocalypse... this is about you wanting to get even."

There was a moment of silence as Dean watched Zachariah struggle to catch his breath. The angel already seemed to be in distress and he was just getting started. "Now that you got all of that off your chest, why don't you tell me where Michael is hiding so we can get this over with." He said as he reached out to drag the blade down the length of the angel's arm. Watching as Zachariah squirmed under the sharp edge, Dean couldn't help but let the sinister smile creep up to the corner of his lips. "Where's Michael hiding." He asked a second time, his low tone of voice echoing eerily in the room around them. When the angel's gaze drifted down to the floor, he used the tip of his blade to lift Zachariah's chin back; forcing him to catch his eyes. "Where's Michael hiding."

The angel let out a soft chuckle as he tilted his head back and lifted his chin up off the blade. "Michael isn't hiding." He started, swallowing hard as he tried to manage the pain surging through his body. "He's waiting for the right moment to strike."

"Where is he, Zachariah?" Dean asked, watching as the angel struggled against his restraints.

"Like I'm going to tell you." The angel hissed through clenched teeth, sucking in a breath as Dean put the blade up to his throat. "Go ahead, I know you want to do it." He pushed, holding the young hunter's eyes as he felt the sharpened edge of the silver blade press into his flesh. "I hope you know that you're doing all of this for nothing... Even if you do stop the Apocalypse and save the world, you'll never get your life back. Dean, your life ended the moment John Winchester put Sam in your arms that night."

Castiel leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes as the screams echoed in his head, drifting through the illusion of an old warehouse that was Hell. Just thinking of what Dean might be doing to his former superior made his blood run cold. This was a mistake, one Dean might never recover from once he got a taste of what he left behind. Though he hated the angel for all the years of deception, torture at the hands of a spiteful man hell bent to break even wasn't at all what he considered fair punishment. When the screaming stopped and silence was restored, Castiel couldn't help but take a deep breath, only hopping that they had gotten the answer they had come for. His eyes flew open as the large steel door unlatched. Dean stood in the doorway, his blade dripping with blood as Zachariah's body hung limp in the background, the heavy chains now holding his full weight. "Did he tell you?" Castiel asked quietly, disgusted with the scene in front of him.

Dean shook his head as he wiped the blood from his blade with a shred of Zachariah's white shirt. "No." He replied simply, his gaze drifting over to the demon that approached. "Take him down and bring in the next one." He said with authority as he pointed the demon into the room. When he turned his attention back to Castiel, he quickly changed his tone. "I couldn't get a straight answer out of the son of a bitch... Maybe I'll have better luck with the next one."

Castiel didn't say a word as he watched the other man step back into the room, right back into a life he had saved him from a few years ago. Even if they did find Michael and even if he called back his angels and stopped the Apocalypse, Dean was well beyond the point of being saved this time around.