Here it is…what you've all been waiting for….the love-y chapter :) well sort of….

Chapter 13

My father and I were sitting across from each other, in my room, back on my side; we were talking, pleasantly. The sun illuminated his face, I knew it instantly; it was so unique, yet it was like my own in a way. It was like I'd known him my whole life.

His lips moved, as if he was talking, but no sound came out.

"Dad," I laughed, in lighthearted unawareness. "You're going to have to speak louder."

He nodded in comprehension, and pointed behind me; I turned, curiously. There was my mirror, just as I remembered it.

However, something was wrong about the image; it showed me, talking to an empty chair. I twisted back around quickly, and he was gone; I gasped and I jumped out of my seat.

"Dad?" I called, I tried to run and look for him, but something heavy and cold caught my ankle; I froze in fear, I turned my gaze to foot.

A crude, metal shackle held my ankle in its grasp.

I looked to my other ankle, there was one on that one too; I moved my hands to undo them, but they had cuffs around them too.

Frightened, I gazed around the room; I was no longer at home. I was alone, in a moist, stone, dark room.

I was in jail.

My chained wrists were abruptly yanked upward; they were attached to the wall, above my head, immobilizing me.

I screamed piercingly, but nobody heard me. The room contained the sound of my voice.

"Help me, someone, help me!" My voice echoed off the wet walls of the room. Nobody came to my rescue.

The tears fell from my eyes like rain. Claustrophobia overtook me. No matter how much I'd called out, nobody came for me. They'd all left me. I was more alone than ever.

Isolation was never something I was good at handling; I was going crazy. It felt like hours I was in there, each minute passed agonizingly slowly.

I was trying to call out someone's name, but I couldn't remember anyone; like I'd been alone my whole life. I was slowly losing my mind.

As a last resort, I cried out one name; the only name my mind could seem to chalk up. And it left me with an uneasy feeling.

"Edward!" I cried out with the remnants of my will. That started a chain of events; there was bright light, and I felt the shackles fall away.

Suddenly, my hand felt warm, and I was jerked awake.

I was in the bed, in the foreign house. I looked to the side of the bed, Edward was sound asleep, and his head was resting on the bed, while his hand was loosely hanging onto my own. That had been the warmth from my dream.

I leapt out the bed, in fear I would fall back asleep; I wanted anything but that. Edward's hand fell from mine, and hit his face.

He rose up violently. "What's going on?" He said sleepily, ready to defend himself. I watched half-heartedly. The pain from yesterday still ached in my heart, but I was able to compose myself.

"Sorry I woke you." I said softly, he looked to me, and awareness came into his eyes. He was obviously expecting me to go into another crying session, but I stayed still with a small, sad smile planted on my face.

"Are you okay?" He hesitated.

I nodded, moving a short strand of hair behind my ear; it was just long enough to stay there. "Yeah, I'm done." I sniffled. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Okay," He looked me up and down, searching for any sign of a lie. "You're sure you're fine?"

"Yes." I sighed, truthfully.

"Great," He commented jokingly, I had the urge to laugh. Hmm… New. "We can go back soon, but I have to go into town to get more food. Plus, I'm sure you don't want to leave so soon, and get back to that luxurious forest, that I know you love."

"Okay, I'll just be here." I stammered awkwardly, my dream had left me with a queasy feeling, and I certainly couldn't work through it with him here.

"Um..." He moved toward me, as if to hug me or some other kind of goodbye gesture; then he wavered, as if he just realized what he was doing. He stopped and held his hand up in a wave. "Bye." He then paced quickly out of the door and down the stairs.

I sat, and let out an exasperated breath. My insides were so conflicted; my dream had confused me so.

Why had his name been the only one I could remember? I'd known Alice and Mother my whole life; in comparison, the time I'd spent with Edward was miniscule. And why had his name thrust me out of my nightmare?

It was the thing that took me out of the terror; and now, after yesterday, I held a new gratefulness to him.

He'd held me when I was all alone, he certainly didn't need to do that; I'm sure the only other person on this earth that would do that was Alice. In my time of vulnerability, he'd taken care of me, and let me be; anyone else would have told me to shut up and suck it up. Emmett might have tolerated it for a few minutes, and then told me I was getting out of control. Jasper wouldn't even have messed with me; he probably would have kicked me or something. If I'd seen Jacob, he might have been able to relate to me, but he still wouldn't have held me.

Why was he being so caring? And why did I crave it so much? I couldn't imagine not being here without him, the thought petrified me to the bone. I'd be dead without him. Sure, he was mocking and sarcastic, but at the right times he was caring. Like I'd needed it last night, I'm not sure what would have happened if he weren't there. Or if he had been his normal sarcastic self.

I owed him my life, without him, I'd have died at least three times over. He never held that against me though. That still doesn't explain why his name had been the only important one; my last resort. As if no one else would have saved me.

I felt a strong shift in me, not just from last night, but lately. He seemed to have something to do with it; I saw him differently every time I saw him, like I was more vulnerable each time. Like each time he smiled, I would be knocked off my feet. Each snide comment ignited a brighter fire in me.

I was stupid; the dumbest thing to ever live. He was just helping me over here, making sure I didn't, you know, die. Why was I feeling this way? And did it have a name (I wondered for the millionth time)? This was dangerous; he was affecting me more and more by the minute; it frightened me, for I didn't know why. How come no other man made me feel like that? I shouldn't let anyone have such power over me, but I couldn't fight it.

What disturbed me the very most of it all was, I didn't want to fight it.

My thoughts were so jumbled, I began to rub my temples; this was so maddening. I just had to hold out, wait until I got to my own side, and I could get back to my own life.

Something inside me broke as I thought about just going back to my side, never to see him again. I almost cried out from the immediate pain. It hurt me to even think of it, I was too attached.

The stress finally got to me. I'd never felt this way before, I'd only known him a short time, yet I felt he was one of the people I could trust the most. I'd unknowingly put so much of my trust in him.

The scariest thought of all, what if I was alone in this flurry of newfound feelings? My stomach twisted like a knife had been jabbed in it. What if he didn't have this feeling as well? What if he was horrified that I was so attached to him?

So, where did this leave me? I had to go back to the women's side.

I stopped in mid-thought.

Had I just referred to my home as something separate from me? It was my side. My heart sank, I would have to go back, and pretend all of this never happened. It was an impossible mission. I wouldn't be able to hide all of this.

My side didn't have the towering forests, the real elements, the freedom…and seemingly worst of all, it didn't have Edward. I felt as if I would be brought to my knees.

So what if it doesn't have him? I thought to myself. It didn't have him before, and you were fine.

I'd stopped fighting, I'd been hit too many times, I'd stopped fighting this side, and I'd stopped fighting him. I hadn't even realized I was fighting. I wanted to hit myself, but this felt right. It bewildered me; maybe I was being overdramatic. I probably just cracked from all of the events that took place.

I moaned and fell back onto the bed, not wanting to think about it anymore.

I took out the journal from the cloak, and just stared at it. If my father had wanted me to have this, why had he locked it? A small hole caught my eye, it was embedded in the lock; it was shaped like a diamond.

Great, there's a diamond shaped key who knows where? I thought to myself. Then I looked down.

Two pieces locked together in my head when I saw the small diamond on the front of my heart shaped necklace. I did a double take between the two; they were a perfect match.

I smiled brightly as I brought the necklace to the journal, and the jewel fit in flawlessly; in one swift motion, a clicking sound rang from it, and it was opened.

He'd intended for me to open it, he wanted no one else in the world to read it but me. A warm feeling swept through me as I read it clicked inside me. I brought up the necklace to my face and read the back in amazement.

Make sure to put the pieces together. That's what he meant! He'd intended for me to get this, and the journal, so I could open it!

Amazement filled me as I read what he wrote in the journal.

Let no one else in the world read this; everything is not as it seems.

I stared in confusion, who would I show this to? My mind flashed to Edward, and a shiver ran through me. Why couldn't I let him read it? He should share this with me.

But, I wanted to honor my father's wishes, so I resolved not to show him. I flipped to the first page.

April 7th,

My fears have been realized; the guards of the Volturi have come to draft architects for a secret project their working on; I pray they don't take me, but they most likely will. I have a bad feeling about this. Ever since the Volturi got their new leaders, they've gone from helping people, to becoming secretive. But nobody suspects them; they are still as beloved as they were when their intentions were pure hearted.

Renee might be pregnant, which is what scares me most about this project, I sense a great shift in our lives.

That's all for today.

April 8th,

Even worse news, they drafted me to be the Head Designer of their secret project; the worst news, Renee IS pregnant. I don't have the heart to tell her I have to go away for Lord knows how long. I can't do it. The Volturi grows more and more powerful by the day, they're starting to monitor the street corners now. I feel conflict is at hand.

April 9th,

It's hopeless. I am assigned to leave in a week, and Renee is as glowing as could be; she is so excited and happy for this baby, she hopes it is a girl. If it is a girl, we decided to name her Isabella; she says we'll name it after me if it's a boy. I don't think it's worth it. She is in absolute heaven, while I'm in hell.

I had to close the book at that point; I let out a shaky breath. It was like looking back in time, back before The Wall went up. This is how it all started, huh? I hated it. He referred to Mother as glowing; I'd think the pregnancy would have been viewed as a slight inconvenience to her. She hoped to get a girl? She got her wish, so why isn't she happy?

I heard the sound of the door opening and closing downstairs reverberate off the walls, indicating Edward was back. My heart skipped a beat. I was about to get up to show him what my father had written, but my body wouldn't move. The voice came in my head once more.

Put it away, it commanded, my arm moved on its own and hid it in my cloak. Edward came through the door, with a full backpack and a grin on his face.

"That was quick." I commented with a nervous laugh.

"I got a good deal on apples." I just smiled. "Alright, we could go soon, if you like." He offered, rifling through the bag for an apple.

"Sure."

He picked it up and slung it over his shoulder once more, but he turned to me. "Hey, and…if you need to talk…about yesterday. I'm here." I almost melted; I wanted to scold myself too. He's affecting you too much, snap out of it, I repeated to myself.

"Thanks, that means a lot." I commented, he seemed to appreciate that, like receiving a pat on the back.

He just stared at me for a second, almost in a trance like state, and then he shook his head hastily, "Good news, there's a shipment of goods going in to our village, and it leaves in a few minutes; I talked to the guy, and he said we could hitch a ride; it will only take a day by horse." That was like music to my ears.

We wouldn't have to walk; thank whoever let this be.

"Yes! Let's go." I leapt up animatedly, trying to hide my dirty little secret in my cloak pocket.

Soon, I gathered all of our belongings (which wasn't much), and as we left the house, Edward gave a friendly goodbye to the owner. The old man shook in response. I felt sorry for him; it must have been terrible to have a disease that causes that kind of reaction.

I pulled the hood over my head, stealing a few glances to Edward, without scolding myself this time.

A shot of icy terror rang up my spine as he said we would be getting back sooner; which meant I'd have to work through this whirlwind of mystifying emotions in less time than before.

We both jumped on the back of the cart and I laid down back against the bags of goods to be transported.

I shouldn't have been worried, I should have been happy to go back to my own side, like any normal person; but it feels as if I would be ripping something away from me by going back and pretending nothing was wrong. I would think that over time, I could forget this feeling; but it was as hard as climbing up a cliff face with your limbs tied behind your back.

I still thought a possible explanation to this attraction I was having for Edward was that the news of my father's departure was the last straw and sent me into insanity, and that I'm just acting upon my madness. That would explain why Edward wasn't the same annoying bug he was to me.

The fact that I thought of my side less and less often was alarming; but that will all be fixed when I got back. At the moment, it seemed unfeasible, but maybe when I get back to my old side it will all fall back into place.

"That didn't injury magically appear out of thin air, you got it somewhere." I remember Edward said back when I first came here, not too long ago. I did get this injury somewhere, so would my life ever be as it was? My eyes trailed upward, to watch Edward, as laid back, hands behind his head; my heart fluttered and I had my answer.

No. No it would never be the same. No matter how much I wanted it to be.

[Another combination of chapters occurred here]

My poor legs thanked me for not making them go all that way back; it was nice to watch the landscape, and not have to worry about fainting.

Thoughts of my father never left my mind; I wanted to get back to the journal, but I had to wait until Edward went to sleep. We had gotten up pretty early, afterall.

Eventually he did, and I was able to read again.

When I heard him start snoring, I excitedly took out the journal and unlocked it via my necklace.

April 16th

I left for the building camp today. They came to get me in the night, and I didn't have the chance to tell Renee. I pray she'll wait for me until I got back.

When I arrived, I was thrown in with hundreds upon hundreds— thousands upon thousands of other workers; this project is going to be huge. And terrible, they've put us in shackles, and use whips to make sure we work.

They told me today that my position as Head Designer was an honor. When I asked why they simply said I showed the most ability to handle a job like this. I asked what would happen if I refused. They say that when my baby is born, they'll take it and my wife and hold them. And when my child is old enough, they'll put it to work, for its entire life.

I couldn't argue with that.

April 25th

They keep us in these claustrophobic rooms, and we sleep on rotting old cots. We work sixteen hours a day. Well I plan mostly. They get the materials.

What we're building is a giant wall, only I have not the slightest idea what it's for. I hope to find out soon.

I fear this might be the last time I am able to write for a while; they will soon be monitoring our sleeping quarters. If I work hard enough, I can gain their trust and be able to write in peace. Soon I hope.

A bump in the road knocked Edward into consciousness, he snored loudly and his eyes snapped open; I quickly closed the book and hid it under me. When he looked to me questioningly, I just grinned, hoping it didn't look too orchestrated. I silently cursed this bumpy road.

Obviously Dad loved Mother, and she seemed to be the happiest person in the world back then. Maybe Dad having to work on The Wall put her in a permanent bad mood; it may have looked bad without any explanation. He never got the chance to get back to her. It was heartbreaking.

My father— my father helped work on The Wall; thankfully it wasn't by choice, but I couldn't believe he gave up his entire life to make sure Mother and I stayed free. Or this definition of freedom. Look at me now Dad, look at me now, I sighed to the atmosphere. Did you ever think I'd make it here? To see you? Or, relatively speaking.

Actually looking at the thoughts of Dad, before I was born, is really an eye opener; I feel I really knew him. Some of the pain from yesterday alleviated, relief washed through me.

I was itching inside to read about my father's experience with building The Wall, but Edward wouldn't go back to sleep. I concluded that he wasn't going to go back to sleep, anytime soon so I dropped it.

Edward had been right, I ended up crying a bit more; nowhere near what took place last night, but I just sniffle and let tears slip. I certainly didn't want him there when it happened though; I wanted to retain some dignity, well what was left of it. Yet, like before, he was by my side through it. Plus we were in a moving cart so he was kind of stuck with me.

Once more, I expected him to make some kind of comment, but he held onto me vigilantly. And when the driver looked back at us, to see what the noise was, Edward gave him a look that could kill. That put an unshakable grin on my face. He talked me through my crying jag, bringing my spirits up. He just made the day seem so much brighter.

It was a blissful ride home…or to his home. His home. I wanted to laugh out loud at my stupidity. I needed to stop referring to it as home.

Well, if everyone in his home knows about you, it won't be as tortuous; you could just live inside the home, and if you absolutely have to go out, there's always the cloak. The voice whispered tauntingly. I screamed internally at it.

No way, it would never be that easy. I argued.

You're making this harder than it needs to be. The voice argued back, I was momentarily shocked that it answered directly. It never did that.

There's just a tiny issue, what if he doesn't even agree to it? The whole debate kind of falls apart at that. I replied, smugly.

And if he does you won't have a case.

What if I don't want to? I spat back.

I don't think there's any doubt there.

That's the point, you don't think, you're just a figment of my imagination. I must have been ill. I was fighting with a voice inside my head. And losing.

Then why are we having this conversation?

"Shut up!" I exclaimed out loud, shattering the comfortable silence that had built up; I automatically snapped my mouth shut.

I tentatively met Edward's petrified gaze. I was hyper aware of the silence, both the driver and Edward looked at me like… well, like I'd just screamed 'shut up' in utter silence.

"Bella," Edward started softly, holding his hand out. "Do you need some more sleep?" He asked quietly.

"Ah yes, I'll do that." It sounded false even to my ears. I chuckled sheepishly before turning over and closing my eyes. I groaned meekly.

Maybe I do need sleep. I thought to myself.

I win.

I didn't end up going to sleep; I just kept arguing with the voice, going in circles in my head.

What if you don't get your memory back ever? What if the amnesia isn't temporary? Then you'd have to stay. I had to admit, that did stop me.

It will! I yelled back.

But what if it doesn't? I had come to terms with my insanity about thirty minutes ago, while I was in a particularly heated conversation with the voice.

It has to. I whined in my mind. It would be terrible if it didn't!

Would it really?

That's where I stopped talking to it altogether. But it never stopped talking to me, spewing its reasoning's at me. I had to admit, some of them sounded quite appealing. Which was horribly, horribly wrong.

At one point, Edward and I found shapes in the clouds, which was halfway fun. He kept finding spiders and bears, and deer. I just found rocks. Then he'd look at the same cloud I was looking at and he'd say it look like some kind of weird bunny thing with a dragon tail.

After that, we fell into a silence (in which I didn't scream out at random times again), it was a content silence.

I think he was still a little scared of me, and my outburst. Perhaps he was expecting another. I wasn't sure, but he didn't talk to me much after that. That saddened me. When he fell asleep, I got a lot of reading done, though there wasn't much to read. Every day was the same after he gained enough trust so he could write in peace.

But he wrote in one entry, that he had bribed, and threatened a few people, to found out about me; I almost cried once more at that part, but I held back. He found out my gender and he already knew my name once he knew I was a girl; he had been so sorrowful, that he couldn't be there. I just kept stroking the paper, wishing I could be with him.

That's when he started planning a secret project. Though he never specifically said what in the entries though, for privacy. Grief overtook me, for obviously whatever he'd planned hadn't worked. I wished it had though, maybe things would be different.

I did fall asleep eventually. It wasn't a very heavy sleep, but it was a long sleep. It was strange; I slept for the whole rest of the day. The day had been monotonous for Edward, I'm sure, but my mind was so full of these feelings about him and my father's journal. My day was full.

When we arrived back, I stumbled off the cart and Edward kept me close to him; for it was nighttime, a treacherous time to be out. I was only half awake but he held me close to his side, keeping watchful of all men on the streets. I was pressed to his side, his warmth kept me from shivering.

We got back to the house. I don't think I was ever so happy to see that place. Actually, I know I was never that happy. As soon as we got in, I crawled to the couch, and crashed. Edward just chuckled a 'goodnight' and went to his own room.

The couch felt so soft compared to the forest floor and bags full of food.

Maybe if you were to live here, you'd get your own bed.

Lots of cool things in this chapter (I like to think)

Review for the rest of the teaser:

"Wait, do you actually want to stay?" His voice was full of disorientation and bafflement; I held my head toward the floor; he'd said it as if he'd never thought he'd ever hear the words. Actually, I never thought I'd say them.

"Logically." I answered softly; feeling an embarrassed smile plaster itself on my hidden face.

"Okay, okay, this is too rich." He snickered, and went into a laughing fit, my face was beat red when I turned it up to glare at him.

"Shut up! I thought we were looking at it logically." I scolded him; anger coursed through me. Anger directed at myself. I was stupid to bring it up in the first place.

"Oh come on, let me enjoy the moment." He breathed in and out, as if to take it all in. I raised my hand and smacked him roughly on the forearm. I really didn't want it rubbed in my face.

"Really Edward, stop." I uttered in a low, hurt voice, and his playful manner disappeared, and he somber.

"You're serious." He asked in a tone as low as my own. It wasn't a question, more of a statement.

"I wouldn't joke about something like this." My voice shook; I couldn't look him in the eye.