Thanks to Philip Kippel for the awesome idea for this chapter. It will discuss the continuity of the cheap-quels.
Again, this is PARODY.
Tiana started really enjoying the meetings. She and Belle were becoming good friends, even visiting each other outside of meetings. She still avoided interaction with the older princesses, and they didn't seem to mind. Belle acted as a bit of a diplomat between the two groups, being good at communicating with both types of princesses.
This particular meeting started as usual, but halfway through there was an interruption during tea.
"Mail time!" Cinderella sang over the room. All of the princesses cheered with delight, mail time being the only thing they all enjoyed. Tiana, having never been to a mail day before, simply smiled.
The servants passed out the girls letter bags. Some had more letters than others; it usually depended on the popularity of the princess.
"It's okay, Pocahantas." Belle patted the woman's shoulder, trying to hide her own generous pile.
"I know. I'm not one of the really popular ones." She smiled at her small pile of letters. "I do appreciate the letters I do get."
"At least you're not me," Jasmine groaned, opening another one of her own letters. "Most of my mail comes from teenage boys. I think it's my outfit."
"I don't get too much," Mulan said, "But most of mine comes from older girls."
"Wow, Tiana, your bag is stuffed!" Belle exclaimed. Tiana looked to see a servant handing her a bag practically bursting with mail.
"Whoa," She pulled it onto her lap, losing a few letters to the floor in the process. Pocahantas picked them up for her. "Thanks." She said, opening her mail. "A lot of these are complimenting me on being such a good role model, and being the really first feminist Disney Princess."
"What am I, a chicken?" Mulan said.
"And a whole lot about my race." Tiana sighed, "Also asking what the heck kind of race Naveen is."
"Well, that's easy," Belle said, "He's uh…uh…what is he, Tiana?"
"I haven't the slightest clue." Tiana shrugged, "It almost as if he was specifically designed so that you can't figure out what he is, yet people still act like he's white or black or any other specific."
"People are silly." Jasmine rolled her eyes. However, their conversation was interrupted by a loud cry from the other end of the room. The five girls spun their heads around to see the source of the outburst.
"Who on Earth is Melody!?" It was Ariel, a shocked look on her face as she looked at a letter in her hand.
"What's wrong, Ariel?" Cinderella asked, taking the girl's arm.
"This letter is asking me about Melody, my daughter. I don't know any Melody! Why on Earth would they believe I knew a Melody!?" Ariel looked as if she was about to cry, her hands shaking. Tiana wasn't sure why she was taking this so hard, but it obviously meant a lot to her.
"It's okay, honey," She said, "It was probably just a mistake."
"Yes, Ariel, Tiana is right," Cinderella cooed to the young princess, "These letters say all sorts of strange things. Why, last time I got a letter asking how my stepsister's relationship with the baker is going. I hadn't the slightest clue what it was talking about!"
"I get letters asking why I completely abandoned my character during Christmas." Belle added, frowning, "You know, like instead of acting cold towards the Beast when he was treating me like rubbish, I made him gifts and tried to get him a Christmas tree? I never did that! Why would I?"
"This is very odd." Pocahantas rested her chin on her fist in thought. "I too get letters accusing me of doing things I never did. What could be causing all this?"
Mulan smirked, resting on the back of her chair, "I myself must have missed the wedding, because I don't remember marrying Shang. Or telling him about Mushu, for that matter."
"Mushu?" The rest of the princesses asked.
"Uh…forget I said that."
"We must get to the bottom of this." Aurora put her hands on her hips. "I don't have any silly rumors going around about me—"
"Neither do I." Snow White piped, a large smile on her face.
"But I don't want such lies told about my friends!"
"I second that." Tiana said, raising her hand. "Does anyone want me to send Louis out to threaten whoever sent you those letters?"
The princesses all looked at her in horror. Except for Mulan, who began to agree before she saw the other's reaction and decided against it.
"I say." Cinderella said, shaking her head in shock.
"Never mind." Tiana slumped in her seat.
"The most important thing," Belle announced, "Is that we know the truth. Nothing else matters, right?"
"I'd still rather people not accuse us of things we never did." Jasmine said, crossing her arms. "I mean, from the sound of your story, Belle, yours makes that whole idea that you and Adam's relationship supports domestic violence practically true."
"That's right," Belle replied, placing her palm to her face, "I really didn't fall in love with him until he was kind to me, but the way they say it it's the opposite."
"Louis is still available if you want him." Tiana perked up.
"What we should do," Cinderella said, "Is be strong. We cannot change what others are saying about us, but we can change how we react to it. If we ignore it, perhaps it will go away. Even if it doesn't, we do not have to give in."
"That was…that was very nicely spoken, Cindy," Tiana smiled. The woman nodded, grinning.
"Thank you, Tiana, I'm glad you think so." She replied. Tiana smirked in thought. Could Cinderella really be more than just a blonde airhead? As Cindy sat down to comfort the still shaken Ariel, Tiana turned around to see Belle looking at her.
"She's actually a pretty good person," She said, as if reading her mind. "She may not make quite as large as impression on us, but to the less tough ones she's like a mother. She is very good with taking care of people."
"Oh." Tiana looked up to see Pocahontas, Jasmine and Mulan both nodding at her.
"They're all good people." Mulan said, "A little sugary and not all that, ah…sturdy, but sweet."
"I just hope the men aren't having the same problems we're having." Jasmine snarked.
* * *
"When did I have a singing organ!?" Adam cried in frustration.