Chapter Ten: Formal Visits
"I can't believe it!" Holly exclaimed during the usual breakfast with Artemis.
"What is so unbelievable, Holly?"
"The decided to hold a ball! They haven't done it in centuries!"
"Oh, that's why you are so worked up. I am glad you've got an invitation too. It would've been dull there without you."
"How can it be dull for you? The ball is in your honor. You'll be surrounded by those sluts who will want a piece of you or your money. Disgusting."
"Then why don't you accompany me? You will protect me from all the gold diggers."
"That would be a total disaster. I don't even have a dress to begin with."
"That won't be problem."
"And why is that?"
"I have one designed especially for you."
"And why do you have it? Maybe the ball was entirely your idea?"
"No, I brought it as a present. This brilliant idea came from Foaly. I merely agreed. It promises to be interesting. I've never seen you in a dress before."
"Well, I look pathetic in one."
"I wouldn't be so sure."
"Oh stuff it. Fortunately, I have two more weeks to get used to the idea. What carrot worm possessed Foaly to think of a ball?"
"Maybe he wants to officially introduce his wife into society."
"Caballine will surely have dress problems", Holly said with giggles. "Wait a second, am I coming to the ball with you as your date?"
"I suppose so. But if you mind, I can come as your date."
"Don't be ridiculous, it's the same thing. But it's only for the ball, right?"
"Only for the ball," Artemis agreed with a strangled smile.
…………………….
The class was a buzz. Their teacher promised them a special meeting that day. The opinions about the coming guest differed. Some thought of him as an enemy, some as genius, a criminal mastermind, a Mud Man, a hero, some didn't even have any opinion at all. But despite the variety of their point of views, everybody was intrigued. Intrigued to finally meet Artemis Fowl in the flesh.
The door to the classroom opened a crack and everyone held their breaths and released it in disappointment because it was only their teacher. Their disappointment was so great that the pupils didn't notice that their teacher was alone.
"Class, please welcome our guest for the class meeting, Artemis Fowl II."
"Good day, children," Artemis greeted with a smile.
His words were met by silence and shocked glances. News traveled quickly around Haven and they already knew he was an elf now. But the change was truly drastic: the hair, the casual outfit, the smile, the eyes that were not cold and calculating, but warm and welcoming.
"I am really glad to be here. Especially after I found out that I was part of the curriculum now. Anyone will be flattered, I am not an exceptence. You must know me really well since Will did that brilliant report of his. I myself was surprised at how exactly the description of my personality had been captured in his report. I heard you hadn't given him the highest mark for it, had you?" Artemis asked, turning to the teacher.
"Well, I don't remember anymore. I assign such reports for every class."
"Strange, none beside Willy attempted to contact me about the matter. Still his one was perfect and true, I can verify it. That's why I demand changing his mark for it," Artemis finished with notes of steel in his voice that made even the teacher flinch. "Now when this is settled, I am open up for questions."
Seeing all his classmates have chickened out, one of the Whisky brothers raised his hand.
"Yes, Winky?"
"Hey! How did you know I was Winky?"
"This is your question? I'll answer anyway. I am not blind, that's why I know who is who. Anyone who had the opportunity to examine you all together will instantly know the difference. So your real question was…"
"How are you going to stop the earthquakes?"
"Good question. I am not going to do anything. Fighting Nature is futile and fatal. As you must have noticed the earthquakes are less frequent now. The reason of them starting in the first place was a crack in Earth crust under Haven where magma decided to reside, but there were obstacles on its way so it had to crush them; the flooding energy will be over soon so the magma is going to stop moving and with that the earthquakes. We just need to wait. Next question."
"What did you do for the FBI?"
"And how do you know I did anything for them?"
"Well, it was mentioned on your… your…"
"My what?"
"Your funeral," someone whispered.
"Oh, yes, I forgot. I can't openly tell you what I did, because it is classified information and too scary to tell such pure children like you. I can't say there was anything heroic in my accomplishments during my fulfilling the assignments for the FBI. I did it for payment or favors for the future. It was good and most importantly exciting business. I am sure the spirit of adventure won't die in me for some time. They turned to me because with my brain and short body I could do a lot more than an average agent. And you know that sometimes an organization doesn't want to take responsibility for some actions, so they hire somebody from the outside."
"Considering what you just said, do you think about joining the LEP?"
"Actually I don't know. My services will be always required there, but I will hardly manage to work under the current steaming Commander. I haven't worked in a team for quite some time so I must relearn doing it.
It is really hard to do everything on your own. Not in the sense that you can't delegate a part of work to your partner; but if you work alone, you know that nobody will back you up and nobody will catch you if you fall. One mistake and you are done for."
"But you don't make mistakes!"
"Everyone does. It is impossible to calculate everything out. Accidents happen all the time. Once I was in Dubai and – Well, that's not interesting."
"Please!" "Please tell us!" "Tell us!"
"Okay, even if it quite embarrassing. So I am on my way to retrieve one ancient item from one sheikh in Dubai. I have everything ready: blueprints of the house, guards' timetables, all technical equipment was in perfect condition as always. The only thing I didn't know was that sheikh decided to renovate this floor with new cement. So I somehow get stuck in fresh cement fully understanding that if I don't move in several minutes I was done for. What do you thin I did then?"
"You didn't cut off your legs, that's for sure," someone from the back grunted.
"No, I didn't. Any other variants?"
"You took off your shoes?"
"I couldn't. I could've been traced by them."
"You stepped out of your shoes and took them with you so not to leave a trace?"
"You are near already. So? Who will crack this nut?" Silence greeted him. Everybody's faces were screwed in concentration. "It was quite simple really. I stepped out of there, took the shoes, smoldered the footprints and put a nearby vase to cover my presence there in the first place. I know it wasn't the best of examples of an accident that can seriously screw the whole operation up. Different things can happen, like any part of the equipment can be broken, which is absolutely unacceptable of course, but still; or you underestimate your opponent… Anything can happen. The most important thing of course is not to lose your head and do everything to return the lost control over the situation. Does anyone of you want to become a LEP officer in the future?" Ten hands went up, three of them shot up by girls. "So the LEP is quite popular nowadays, huh? I'll be surely to inform the current Commander about it. She will be glad to know she has many recruits for the future."
"What is your relationship with Commander Short?" one of the girls blurted out, before anyone could stop her.
Artemis's right hand itched, but his face expression remained calm and smiley. "We are good friends," he answered and that was it.
No stories about how they trusted each other, about how many times they saved each other lives, how he cared for her… No, that couldn't be told at the moment. It was not only because such things should remain between him and Holly, but also because Artemis knew if he started he would never stop talking about her.
The children waited for continuation but none came. They were clearly disappointed, not only because girls saw there good gossip material, but, well, it was intriguing how they managed to work together being practically opposites.
"Any other questions?"
A shy looking girl raised her hand. "In Willy's report, it was mentioned that you are Doctor of Art. What is art?"
Artemis deadpanned. He was so shocked that couldn't talk for a whole minute. "You don't what art is?" His question was met with twenty-four black faces. "You don't teach children to draw?" Artemis asked, turning to the teacher.
"What for?"
"What for?! But how can you develop imagination, taste, and creativity?! I can't even list all the purposes of art's presence in a child's life because it is so long. It is impossible to exactly determine what art is because it is everywhere. In form of the buildings you live in and in designs of your clothes. Everything from a pencil sketch to an artist's masterpiece can be called art…"
During the next half an hour the young fairies listened openmouthed to Artemis's lecture about art, about its importance in world's history and development of mankind. About numerous styles and colors a piece of art can be created in and so on and so forth. Artemis always declined proposals from universities to become a lector, but that day he somehow felt obliged to show those children the beauty of art.
"Well, it is pointless to just talk about it, you must see it with your own eyes to understand," Artemis said, taking a deep breath after a long speech. "Though I don't have anything with me, everything is in my apartment. I wish we could go there, but…"
"We don't have anything else scheduled today," Wally pointed out. "Please, teacher, can we go?"
The teacher looked at the puppy faces of her pupils and nodded, even of reluctantly. "But it will be you responsibility, Mister Fowl."
"Of course, madam."
The trip to Artemis's apartment was noisy and exciting. Everyone, even the Whisky brothers, who were techs to the last brain cell, were eager to experience this mysterious world of art.
"Now, now, don't take the door down," Artemis sushed the children. "First of all, I ask you not to wander around because there is a security system around the flat, so if anyone of you cross the wrong laser beam half of the LEP be here in five minutes and we don't want that to see what angry Commander Short looks like, believe me. Okay, you promise me not to break anything?"
"We promise," they answered in unison.
"Good." Artemis pressed his hand to the handprint-reading device on the door, then pressed several buttons and the door opened. "Welcome," he uttered, stepping in and leading the amazed kids to the back part of the flat until they stopped in front of a massive looking door. "I call this room a studio. I keep here my paints and drawing equipment, also my albums, but less talking more action." He unlocked the door the same way as the main one and ushered everybody in. "Okay, make groups of four and sit down. Sorry, but I don't have any chairs or sofas here so the floor is the only option." While they were making themselves comfortable on the floor, Artemis took six albums from the shelf. "Each album had drawings of nature of different countriesy. The country name is written on the front. Ask if there are questions."
The albums were distributed and the discussion has begun. Albums and opinions were exchanged back and forth. To Artemis's observative eyes the young fairies looked really interested.
"Are these things real?" A girl asked, pointing to a echerry blossome on the paper.
"What do you mean?"
"Is there a real tree like this somewhere?"
"Of course. All drawn objects exist in reality, but it isn't a rule. You can draw whatever your imagination tells you to."
"You mean, we can also do that?"
"Certainly. Anyone can draw, especially during childhood. More complicated things must be taught but simple drawing is available to everyone. Care to try?"
There was a pause and then crying of "Yeah!" "Yes!" "Cool!" filled the room.
"Good. I'll get some paper and pencils and we will go to the living room. It is too stuffy here."
After another hour, Artemis's living room was unrecognizable. All armchairs, sofas, carpets and other surfaces were occupied by children who were vigorously scratching something on middle-sized pieces of paper. Their first task was to draw their homes and families, and they were very anxious to fulfill it. One boy was so engrossed in his work that didn't notice a vase on the table near him and accidentally knocked it off.
The moment the vase was moved a loud siren filled up the room. The boy paled. "I am sorry. I haven't seen it… It just happened," he stuttered.
"Don't worry," Artemis reassured. "No harm done. I have carpets especially for this purpose," he said, returning the vase back onto the table. The siren instantly died down. "Just be more careful. This vase, as everything in the room is very valuable to me. Does anyone want a snack?" Receiving a collective positive answer Artemis went to give instructions to Betty. His way back was interrupted by a doorbell.
Artemis opened the door to see a panting Holly behind it. "Four minutes. I think this is a record," were his greeting words.
"What?" Holly asked, trying to stabilize her breathing.
"You came in four minutes instead of five. Unfortunately, there was no need to rush. The alarm went off by accident. Please, accept my apologies. I'll just shut everything down, because I am sure this wasn't the last item that will fall down today," Artemis said with dread.
"What in Frond's name is going on here?"
"Oh, sorry, come in. It's a bit crazy around here. We have an art lesson so to say. We were about to have lunch. Do you want to join us?"
"Well, since you pulled me out of a very important but extremely boring meeting… no, I don't mind."
Upon entering the living room, Holly asked again, "What in Frond's name is going on here?"
The children instantly quieted down, seeing the LEP Commander and remembering Artemis's words about her angry demeanor.
"I told you, we are having an art class. Don't pay attention to us, continue your work. I'll be checking on it soon. I just invited Commander to have lunch with me. She is not going to arrest anyone."
Through the papers scattered around Artemis guided Holly to his chair, but it was too small for two. Wordlessly, he took a place on the floor, this way inviting her to his chair.
"So what is really going on here?" Holly whispered.
"Well, Willy told Foaly that it would be interesting and educational to invite me to their classroom meeting, because he did a report about me six years ago. So Foaly suggested it to the teacher and she agreed, not without protest on her part I think. During our meeting came out that they didn't know what art was and I decided to show them."
"This is crazy, Arty."
"I seem to do a lot of crazy things lately. Coming to Haven was one of them."
"Don't start this again. You have a pretty good apartment. The furnishing is really good. You said you had a copy of the three-piece you gave me. I don't see it here."
"It is in my room. Do you want to see it?"
"Why not?"
They stood up and as quietly as possible left the living room through the other door not to disturb the others. Two pixies who sat the closest to them couldn't help but overhear the conversation.
"His room?"
"Just friends?"
Meanwhile Artemis was showing Holly his private quarters. The place where he kept all he precious and priceless possessions. Paintings being one of them.
"First time in my life I am jealous of you," Holly said, looking around the room.
"Why?"
"I don't have so much money to buy really nice things. You saw my flat. It is so average. It is okay and everything, but… It doesn't have any me in it. And yours is so beautiful. All this antiquity and paintings and tapestries… Even this bed. I would've given a lot for this bed."
"It is too big for one. You tend to get lonely, sleeping on it. I am sure you will get such an apartment for yourself one day."
"Yeah, yeah, in my dreams maybe."
"So have you decided about the ball?"
"What was there to decided? We agreed to go together, right?"
"Just making sure." 'I can't believe myself! I am starting to get nervous! About what? Our first date? God help me. If not then, then never.' "I hear Betty coming with our lunch. Hopefully my living room is still in one piece."
"You started it."
……………
The night of the ball came too fast for Holly. Her dress was delivered early in the morning in a lovely wrapped box. It was absolutely perfect, but that didn't make Holly feel any better. It was the first ball conducted in at least five hundred years. She wasn't even born at that time. She didn't know what to do, how to talk, how to dance for Heaven's sake! And going with Artemis was making her even more nervous. He was coming to pick her up in half an hour and she wasn't even dressed yet!
Exactly on time Holly heard someone ringing the doorbell.
"Come in! It isn't locked!" she shouted, struggling with the zipper on the back and loosing the battle.
"Are you ready?" came Artemis's voice from the hall.
"No! Come here and help me!"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Please, zip it up, I can't reach," Holly explained her trouble, organizing the hem of her dress thus not seeing Artemis enter the room. If she had seen him she would've noticed firstly shock and then hot desire in his glance at her practically fully opened back. He came closer, trying to control his emotions and passions. He almost succeeded, but his hands thought otherwise. They, as he, craved to touch her, to feel her heat on his skin. So before Artemis could rationally analyze the situation, his hand was tracing Holly's backbone.
"What are you doing?" she breathed out, paralyzed by his touch that kept heating up her back.
"I am zipping up your dress," Artemis answered now doing exactly what he was saying, but is hand lingered there slightly longer then necessary.
"Thank you, I guess," Holly uttered hesitantly and finally looking at herself in the mirror. "How do I look then?"
"Beautiful as always."
"If it hadn't been for this dress - "
"Nonsense," Artemis interrupted her, "You are beautiful as you are, with the dress or without it." 'What have I just said? Hopefully she didn't notice the slip of my naughty tongue.'
"Uuuuh… Thank you for the compliment," Holly drawled, starting to feel ridiculous.
"It still needs the final touch. Close your eyes."
Holly did as told and in moment she felt a slight weight on her neck. "You shouldn't have, Arty - Holy Frond!" she exclaimed, opening her eyes and seeing a 'collar' of sapphires and tiny diamonds in gold.
"Do you like it?"
"Of course I do! It is gorgeous and it is perfect for this indigo dress. But you still shouldn't have…"
"Actually it is Minerva's present. For you."
"For me? But she doesn't know about my existence!"
"She said, "To the one you are leaving me for."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
"Minerva is a wise woman and she also knows me quite well. But I also have a present for you." A pendant with a dark brown stone soon found itself on Holly's neck. "In return for the ring you gave me."
"Thank you. I fell so awkward in all this. I don't remember when was the last time I wore a dress. I bet I'll fall down on the stairs."
"I will be near and catch you. Shall we?"
Holly finally looked Artemis over. He was wearing a black suit with satin lapels that outlines his athletic figure. "Why don't you braid you hair anymore?"
"Huh?"
"In the laboratories. You had your hair braided. You look… better that way."
"Actually I braided it only for working out or action missions, but if you insist…" Artemis took off the satin band and started to braid his hair when Holly stopped him.
"Can I?"
Artemis only nodded and sat down on a nearby chair. He was pleasantly surprised by her actions, only the thought that Holly noticed the change in his hairstyle warmed him up inside.
"All set. We can go now."
"Do you know who will be there?" Artemis asked, getting comfortable on the back seat of the rented caddy.
"How am I supposed to know? Well, the Council, Foaly and Caballine must be there, the numerous heads of governmental structures, honored citizens, head of big companies and so on. You know, boring people."
"Will it offend you if I say that I don't consider them boring?"
"Well, not as boring as theirre wives, that's for you sure. And I won't be able to avoid them."
"I can't help you with that. I've never deaialed with the wives of my business partners, but I can rescue you if you give me a sign."
"That makes life so much better," Hholly said with a sigh.
Soon they reached their destination – the pavilion of restaurant "Fairy Paradise". The building was heavily decorated with lights and colorful bands. The view reminded Artemis of the Oscars ceremony. Of course, they couldn't enter unnoticed being the guests of honor, so the moment they stepped onto the ground, the buzz rose around the building entrance. The press was ready.
Artemis noticed Holly visible shivering. "Are you cold?"
"No, I just hate reporters. I am still not used to them even if I, as the LEP Commander, must cooperate with them all the time."
"I'll handle it."
In a second they were surrounded by reporters who shouted out there questions all at the same time. Someone actually managed to voice the question of the hour.
"Why did you come together? Is this a date?"
Holly's hold on Artemis's hand became tighter. He acknowledged the movement and replied for both of them. "We are here as friends." He didn't add, "and nothing more," on purpose, so not to put end to this, at least for himself.
Before reporters could ask anything else, the pair disappeared inside the building.
"Finally! The man of the hour!" Foaly greeted them near the snack table. "Who is it this with you? How did you managed to grab such a girl so fast?"
"Let me introduce her then. Holly Short, sounds familiar?" Artemis asked, trying to laugh.
"This gorgeous fairy is Holly?!"
"Who else, pony boy?" Holly responded in a painfully familiar commanding voice.
"Uh, huh. I am sorry then. Who would've thought…"
"Apology accepted. Thank you for the compliment, by the way. Where is Caballine?"
"Oh, somewhere with the girls, discussing her last recipe. Our kitchen has been turned into a laboratory, she is constantly mixing something there."
"Should I say hello to her?" Holly suggested with a tortured expression on her face.
"This is the question of courtesy. Remember what we talked about earlier. Just a sign," Artemis reassured Holly, pushing her towards the corner where gathered quite a number of women.
"What was that crap about the sign?" Foaly grunted when Holly left them.
"Holly doesn't want to be a part of women's gossip exchange, that's all."
"So what is this sign?"
"I don't know, but I am sure I'll understand. Let's sit down. I hope, I'll be free to talk to you before I am noticed by the ball organizers."
They took places behind on of the tables, Artemis sitting by the wall. Foaly couldn't help but notice that only one Artemis's eyes was looking at him, the other one was directed towards the group of women.
"I heard you had spoken to the school principal," Foaly started the conversation.
"Yes, I had. I was beyond indignation by the fact that children here were not taught art, even simple drawing. So I proposed my services. Of course, the principle told me he must consult the authorities and so on. As you understand, that didn't satisfy me so I proposed another variant. Next week we are opening an Art class on voluntary basis. If it is popular enough, the subject will be added to the curriculum."
"So you'll be an Art school teacher?"
"Why not?"
"Well, you surely could do something more sufficient to your high status."
"I don't have any status here."
"You are Artemis Fowl II, you are a genius, D'Arvit!"
"And what do you suggest?"
"Well, you could open your own laboratory, you always wanted to invent stuff."
"And always compete with you on the way? No, Foaly, this is your niche, I don't even want to try to take it. On the other hand, I had seven very rough years. Practically every week I was on different ends of the world. I am not saying that I am tired and want to settle down and have an ordinary life. No, the need for adventure will never die in me. And who told you I couldn't invent while being a teacher?" Artemis finished with a wink.
"You are a dangerous man, Artemis Fowl."
"Don't I know it."
Meanwhile Holly was suffering, listening to the gossip hens of Haven. She suffered not because of the gossip itself, but because of the subject of it. The subject being her 'date' for tonight – the great but mysterious Artemis Fowl. And they all wanted to solve the mystery by bombarding Holly with questions. She tried to answer as tactfully as possible, but it was getting harder and harder by the minute. The worst thing about it was that Caballine just added fuel to the fire, agitating the women. Holly wanted to scream already, "You are all united for Haven's sake! You have your own men already!"
The tight group around here made Holly dizzy from the lack of oxygen and she tried to loose her necklace to get some air, but it was quite impossible.
"Good evening, Ladies," came Artemis's voice out of nowhere. "What a gentleman I am, leaving my companion like that. If you'll excuse us…"
"What was that?" Holly asked, coming to her senses and realizing that she was already on the dance floor.
"That was me, rescuing you, as we settled before."
"Oh. You said 'your companion', not 'your date'."
"Because you are not my date tonight, as we also settled earlier."
"Because we are here as friends," Holly stated as trying to persuade herself. "Are we just friends, Arty?" she whispered, finding the courage not only to ask, but to look into his eyes at that moment.
"It is for you to decide, my dear Holly."