A/N

Warning: This is a teacher/student story, so if that's not your cup of tea, move on now!

Note: Main character's first name is Niamh. It is pronounced NEEV in this story.

Reason for M rating in this chapter, which could be anything from violence to sex to crude language. You have been warned.

EDIT June 2012: This chapter has been censored by myself, because of FFNet's unclear ratings that they are now enforcing with an iron hand. PM me for information about where you can read the uncensored version.

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Chapter Eighteen – What My Parents Have, Now Mine

"Remus," I said again, delighted that he was back, but also, for the first time, afraid of him. He looked positively furious. I had stayed behind to try and fix us, maybe I shouldn't have, because now he was clearly angry with me. I had never seen him angry like that before.

I had those thoughts and a million more rushing through me in a matter of seconds.

"Niamh," Remus then said, his voice scratchier than I had ever heard it. "You're still here."

I couldn't determine what he meant by it, if he was mad at me or happy to see me. "I can go... If you want to." I felt and sounded like a child facing execution by the almighty Merlin.

He stepped closer and his face changed, the anger disappeared. "You just surprised me, I didn't think you'd stay."

"Of course I'd stay, there was no question. But I borrowed some Floo powder so I could talk to my parents."

Tension took over Remus' entire being. When I didn't continue he urged me on. "And?"

"They're fine with it, with us."

"Just like that?"

"No, not just like that. They had some concerns at first, but once I told them about what a wonderful man you are, about my Patronus, they gave their blessings."

"Why?"

"Remus Lupin, sometimes you can be disturbingly thick. I know what a wonderful man you are and they trust my judgement of you." I sat down on the sofa again. "I told them I wouldn't come home until I had fixed everything between us."

"You can't fix it, Niamh. We can't be together, it's not good for you, not safe for you."

"Oh, bollocks, Remus! Listen to me. My Patronus represent you, it takes the form of something that, right now, lies dormant deep within your soul. It showed itself fully after our first kiss. The part of my soul that was missing was you. Nothing else came to me during that time that could have been the missing piece. Unless you count the amazing chocolate mousse the house elves made that one day. Once I had you, everything fell into place. The vibration in the air between us, do you know what that is?"

He nodded, still standing in the middle of the floor between the kitchen and the living room. The ball of light hovering in front of him, being the only source of light. "I've researched it. But what do you believe it is?"

"I realised it after being around my parents since I left school. It's the same thing that I can feel from them, when they are in the same room together. Their auras, or magic or whatever the source is, must be reacting to each other. It feels different from them, because I am not part of what binds them together, I am an outsider. But here, with you, I am on the inside, I am part of the magic. What surges between us is the same."

Remus stared at me, letting no expression show. I was curious to what his theory was, but I didn't dare start a discussion about it now. We could do that later.

I stood up and walked towards him, but stopping a few metres away, in case he decided to throw a fit again. "I am in love with you, Remus. I- I love you. I know you know. Why can't you let that be enough? That I want to be with you no matter what people say, no matter what you are, no matter..." I felt tears pressing behind my eyes, but I blinked them away. "Enough no matter what."

Remus closed his eyes. I sensed a change in the hum between us. When he had first come in it had been very slow, almost nonexistent, now it became very erratic. It made me nervous. What on earth was going on inside his head now?

He opened his eyes again and looked directly at me with those beautiful amber eyes. It made my heart beat faster and my head spin slightly. Somehow it gave me hope. Then he took two long steps towards me, eyes darkening.

The vibrations calmed. They didn't lose intensity, but they were once again settled. And then Remus put both hands on either side of my head and kissed me. Pressing his lips hard against mine, without hurting me. I sighed, letting my entire body relax against his. I had to wrap my arms around him so I wouldn't fall. This made him laugh, he let go of my lips, and held me to him, making sure I could stand more efficiently.

"I have that much of an effect on you?"

"You have no idea," I whispered against his chest.

"I've fallen in love with you too, Niamh. I need you to know that."

My breath hitched as he spoke those words into my hair.

He continued. "I'll always worry about you, for as long as we're together. But I don't think I can handle letting you go. Now, while I was away, I cou-" He took a deep breath, I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my cheek, then he continued. "I had made a conscious decision about staying out of your life when I ran out. It hurt me, physically. When I realised I couldn't leave you, the pain went away. I was still hesitant though, as I'm sure you felt. But seeing you still here, still wanting me... And imagining my life without you is painful. I had no choice. The wolf in me made sure I had no choice."

I was confused. "You had no choice?" I asked in a whisper.

"At Hogwarts I researched the hum between us. Do you want to know what I found out?"

I nodded against him.

"I wasn't sure about what I had learned was true, but while I was away from you during the last full moon my theories was confirmed. Because I hurt then too, not from the transformation, well that too, but also because the wolf didn't know where you were. The werewolf in me recognizes you as its mate. It's been known to happen before. You tune into me because the wolf wants to draw you in, and I tune into you because... Well, because the wolf sees you as its and my mate. That's why it feels different from what you feel from your parents. I'm guessing they are both very powerful magically?"

I didn't answer right away, I was so shocked about all this that it took me a few seconds to realise he was waiting for an answer. "Yes, they are," I finally managed to say.

"It's not uncommon for two powerful people who truly love each other and are magically bonded to emit some kind of energy. You wouldn't feel anything from less powerful people. But this between us is just a werewolf and its mate drawing each other in, making sure we actually recognize each other for what we are. Now, because I have been known to be magically powerful, and you certainly seem to be, if we were to one day be bonded..."

He let the end of the sentence speak for itself. If we were to be bonded once day, we would most likely emit the same kind of energy that my parents did. So he had thought about bonding with me, even if it was in that context. I liked that. I liked that so much that my heart started beating furiously in my chest, I was positive Remus could both hear and feel it, as I was still pressed against him in an embrace.

A werewolf and its mate... It sounded like I was an animal. But weren't we all, in the big picture? Besides, my soul, my Patronus and protector, was an animal, a werewolf no less. His soul was also a werewolf, if only just a part of it. Were we really two pieces of one?

I was grateful he hadn't let me go, that he just held me and let me process this new information.

I took several deep breaths, smelling him, feeling the rough fabric of his shirt against my cheek, feeling his steady breaths, hearing his heartbeat. Vibrations surrounding us. It made me feel complete. Safe, home, and so happy I was sure my heart would explode. Smiling to myself, I twisted my right hand, let the palm face the room and thought two words loudly and clearly in my mind. Warmth flooded into my hand and a bright beam of light shot out of my hand and transformed into a bright werewolf.

It smiled up at me before it bounced happily around us, around and around and around.

Remus took my shoulders and held me at arm's length. "What? Did you - ? I didn't hear you cast any charm and your wand is on the table!"

"Wandless and non-verbal." I shrugged as if it was no big deal, but still smiled smugly. "I just felt like I could do it. My first ever successful attempt."

Once again Remus attacked my lips. Caressing mine with his, if you could call it caressing with that intensity he had going on. My hands went back around his waist, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, his hands deep in my hair. It was already clear that I would finally get what I had been so close to getting too many times the last few weeks.

Remus pushed me gently backwards, to the sofa. We sat down, and I leaned backwards, bringing him with me. Being impatient, I let my tongue glide over his lips. He responded immediately by letting me in. The touch of his tongue sent exhilarated sparks throughout my body, all settling in one particular place.

For the second time that day I could feel Remus reacting to me. Instinctively I arched my hips upwards, rubbing against him, drawing a moan from him. Now he was getting impatient, he broke our kiss and began pulling off my top. I wriggled around to help him, but that almost made me fall off the couch.

"I think the sofa's too narrow, Remus," I laughed.

"I do think you are right." He smiled down at me with that incredibly sexy and playful smile. "Come on." And he stood up, took my hand and led me up the stairs.

I felt a little self conscious rushing up the stairs after him, my shirt was off and he was still fully clothed. And I was deadly afraid that breaking the moment and trying to create it again would just make everything awkward.

Remus led me into the master bedroom, which he hadn't showed me on the tour when we arrived that morning. But I didn't have time to take it in now, because as soon as I stepped through the door, Remus pulled me to him and ravished my lips again.

We quickly found the bed and fell down on top of it. Remus now began dropping kisses all over my neck. I tried to get his shirt up, wanting to feel his skin against me for the first time. But he distracted me by kissing down my shoulders and collar bone. He kept teasing me by almost, but never going lower than the top of my breast.

Again I tried to lift his shirt, but then Remus did go further down and kissed the skin right above the hem of my bra. I gasped in surprise, but didn't stop my attempt to undress him. When I did he moved and kissed the bra-covered skin, licked the skin above the bra, making me almost lose my focus. Clearly he didn't want me to undress him.

If this was going to happen the way it was supposed to, skin on skin in heated passion, instead of skin on clothes in uncomfortable passion, I had to do something. Gently, but firmly, I turned us around so Remus was below me.

I sat up a bit, leaning on my arms and looking down on him. His brown and grey hair fell away from his eyes, which were dark, almost black, with lust. I felt a stirring deep inside me, realising just how much I loved the man underneath me, how it had progressed so quickly in such a short time.

I leant down, pressing my lips to his quickly before I kissed every scar on his face, counting them in my head at the same time. Two long and four small. Then I proceeded to distract him by letting my tongue fight his for dominance. This gave me the opportunity to quickly unbutton his shirt and pull it to the side. Remus froze and broke the kiss, but I looked firmly into his eyes, shaking my head.

"Do you want to do this right or not?" I noticed that my voice was quite ragged.

He relaxed a little bit. I took that as an opportunity to completely remove the shirt, with a bit of his help.

He had several more scars across his chest and abdomen, more than I could count by looking at them. But instead of feeling disgust, which I knew I wouldn't, or pity, which I hoped I wouldn't, I felt even more turned on. A purring sound came from my throat.

Then I leaned forward again, wet my lips and planted them on Remus' chest, feeling his chest hair tickle me. He shuddered under me and relaxed completely. I went on and gave these scars the same treatment as those on his face. Kissing some of them, letting my lips follow the rest of them from beginning to end. 5 long and painful looking, 33 smaller. Counting them helped me keep control over my actions and not melt into a puddle at the skin contact.

Remus' breath was quickening with every touch of my mouth, moaning every now and then. His hands grabbing the sheets under him, tighter the lower I got.

I loved having such power over him, I might enjoy being on top more than I realised.

I was now at the hem of his pants, having followed the small trail of hair down. Remus was now squirming under me. I smiled against him, unbuttoning his pants, pulling them slowly down. I saw more scars on his legs, and bite marks.

He had to let me buy him the Wolfsbane potion.

I started repeating the process going back up, but before I came all the way up, Remus seemed to have had enough. He roughly flipped us over again and attacked my mouth. At the same time he amazingly enough managed to remove my bra and unzip my shorts. The remaining clothes were gone so quickly I didn't have time to understand what he was doing. His own underwear was off in a rush and then he was on top of me again.

Like the gentleman he was, he stopped and looked into my eyes, his expression a little glazed. "Last chance to get out of this."

"Never," I whispered hoarsely, and smiled. "I'm all yours. Just take it easy on me."

"You've never done this before?" he asked disbelievingly.

I shook my head.

"You're giving me yo-" Remus sighed affectionately. "Completely sure?"

"Yes," I breathed and closed my eyes, steeling myself against the pain that would come.

Remus leaned down to kiss me. It was one of the most breathtaking kisses yet, it was like he was pouring his life into me and taking my life into him in return. I moaned against him, forgetting everything else, until I gasped in pain as something broke inside me.

It was done, he distracted me with the kiss, and I loved him for it. For several minutes, Remus did nothing but place gentle kisses on my cheek.

When the pain had subsided I expected it to be more pleasurable, but it wasn't. It didn't hurt, far from it, because I was quite turned on, and it was Remus that was here with me, but it wasn't enough right now. It was a little disappointing, after hearing the excited whispers of the girls at school, but now I had a feeling they had been lying slightly.

I moved with Remus, finding a rhythm together. He had his lips on my shoulder, kissing and marking me. I ran my hands through his hair, moaning, mostly from the pleasure of the kisses.

It didn't take long before I could tell that Remus was close, his jaw was set, and he was clearly holding back to wait for me. But I knew it wouldn't happen, no matter how long he could hold back, not this time.

"Let go, Remus," I whispered in his ear. "It's okay. Let it go, love. For me." I as good as breathed the last part, coaxing him to let his control go. "I love you, Remus. For me," I repeated. And that was finally his undoing as he groaned out my name. He then rested his head in the crook of my neck while he got his breath back.

I stroked his hair and his back, until he rolled off.

"I'm sorry I couldn't hold on any longer," he said and pulled some hair away from my face. "It's been ages and you're so beautiful it's hard to hold back."

I blushed and smiled. "It's okay, Remus. Don't worry. I did talk you into it."

He shook his head. "It's not okay. I'm sorry I couldn't make it more pleasurable for you."

"I didn't expect fireworks the first time," I told him. "We'll just have to try again. And again. And again. Practice makes perfect, isn't that what people say?" I was now smirking.

"I love you," Remus said and grinned, then kissed me. His hands began wandering down my body, creating a path of fire with his fingers. "I could still help you find pleasure tonight, if you want? If you're not too sore?" His voice was dangerously low in my ear.

My eyes fluttered close as he placed a gentle kiss on my neck. His hands had stopped their wandering. One of them used the forefinger and the middle finger to 'walk' slowly down, stopping right past my navel.

"Do you want me to pleasure you?" The fingers were 'tripping' impatiently on the spot.

"Y-yes," I breathed, amazed at how turned on I still was. "Please."

But nothing happened. Remus lay completely still. In confusion I opened my eyes and looked at him. Clearly he had been waiting for that, because the moment we locked eyes he 'walked' the rest of the way and had me moaning his name.

Remus Lupin did not disappoint me.

...

A/N

Last proper chapter... And longest one in the entire story! First time I've written a proper smut scene from start to end. I usually just go with the tasteful fade to black. But I feel it came out alright.

Things seem to be well now. But no one knows what the future holds... Some of the secrets of the future will be revealed in the epilogue that's coming out on Friday. Review? :)

Thanks to beba78 for the werewolf mate thing being the reason behind the vibrations. I had originally planned for it to just be the same as between Niamh's parents, but I figured that the werewolf mate thing was better. So I twisted it into what you just read :)

EDIT June 2012: FFNet is saying they are going to go through all of their stories, and because the ratings they have are a bit ambiguous and without examples, I've now tried to edit this chapter down to something that would probably be okay with the M rating at HPFF. If FFNet allows us to keep sexual and/or violent scenes with this or another rating, I will post the original chapter. In the mean time, PM me if you want to read the original version, and I'll send you on the right way.