Chapter 11
"Moi aussi, au revoir" said Taylor hanging up the phone. She had just spent the last hour pouring her heart out to her ex-husband, Henri-Michel.
Far from being critical or taking advantage of Taylor's emotional state, Henri-Michel had been a great listener and extremely supportive. He had never stopped caring about Taylor, but only wanted her to be happy. He had asked her some very probing questions that were aimed at Taylor really being honest with herself.
Q:What was it that made her doubt Ryan's feelings all of a sudden?
A:She'd had flashed of doubt in the past, but always thought it was her being insecure. The argument over Nate had led her to analyze the relationship again.
Q:Was she over-analyzing the situation?
A:Perhaps, but she felt she had clearly touched a nerve with Ryan.
Q:What did her and Ryan have in common that they could use as a building block to solidify their relationship?
A:Um…..
Q:What things did they enjoy doing together?
A:Um…..
Q:How were the wedding plans coming?
A:There wasn't much to do. It wasn't going to be a big wedding, and her and Ryan had been so busy, they hadn't really done much about it…even with only six weeks to go.
Q:Does she get butterflies when she sees Ryan?
A:Yes…well…kind of. It was more of a knot than butterflies, kind of hard to explain.
Henri-Michel that he would not judge any of her answers, but it was now up to her to consider them for herself. He had apologized that he couldn't talk longer, but he had to go meet his wife, who was also his publicist, to talk to the publisher about his next book. Henri-Michel had ended the conversation by saying that he truly hoped they could stay in touch.
Now Taylor sat replaying her conversation with Henri-Michel and she found herself feeling quite sad. Her and Henri-Michel had many common interests, and she thought for a moment about what her life would have been like if she had stayed with him. Would they have children? Would she have grown to love him? She felt now that she cared more deeply for him as a friend than she ever did as her husband.
With that thought, a flood of revelations came about her answers to Henri-Michel's questions. She began to make a list to organize her thoughts.
Deep down she had always doubted Ryan's feelings. Even from the very first time, he said 'I love you' because she had tried to get him drunk to make him say it. SHE forced him into it. Would he have said it otherwise?
Common ground – sex – not really anymore
- consoling each other over past damaging relationships
3. Common interests – none
4. Wedding plans – six weeks to go and no lists
5. Butterflies – no
- weird feeling like a knot in her stomach whenever he said 'I love you, Taylor Townsend
Taylor stared at the list and read and re-read it over and over again. Finally, she threw it back on her desk, sat back in her chair and said out loud. "Oh my god, I have to talk to Ryan!"