Chapter 23

"So I finally got her out of there, and she ended up puking in my dorm room. I've never touched a drop of alcohol since." Marissa laughed as she finished recounting a tale of saving one of her friends from college, who had had way too much to drink, from a particularly amorous basketball player, who wanted to share said friend with all his buddies.

"Wow, so you don't drink at all anymore?" Ryan was shocked. "That may actually work to our advantage tonight."

"Why?" asked Marissa hesitantly "Is there something wrong with me not drinking?"

"No, no, not at all, you and tequila had a bit of a rocky history, so it's good that you don't anymore. You don't remember anything about TJ?" Ryan was trying to find the balance between giving Marissa information she needed for the plan to be effective, but also not give Marissa false memories without her actually remembering.

"No, I don't. Should I?" Marissa was concerned.

"That's something I think you should remember on your own, and we won't go anywhere near it tonight. We'll stick with the mundane first kiss, first date, first time we…well, maybe we don't need to go there either." Ryan shifted nervously. "Maybe we should go over names again?"

Marissa smiled shyly watching Ryan as he squirmed. "Sure, we could do that, but I think I'm all right with the major ones. Sandy, Kirsten, Seth, Summer, Sophie, Julie, Jimmy, Caleb, Luke, Holly, Oliver, Johnny, Lindsey, I know I'm forgetting someone…" she thought for a moment "Oh...yeah, Volchok, how's that for selective memory?" she laughed ironically.

"Not bad" Ryan said nodding his head approvingly as he moved around the kitchen preparing food. "I need you to come here and chop this onion for me." Marissa moved to stand by Ryan at the island in his kitchen.

"What are you making anyway?"

"Chili con carne and quesadillas" he replied holding her waist as he moved past her to get to the refrigerator. The slight sensation of him rubbing against her had them both blushing and scrambling for things to say.

"Wow, that's a long way from mac and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches" Marissa said non-chalantly.

Ryan slammed the refrigerator shut and spun around to stand face to face with Marissa.

"What did you say?" he was grasping her left arm with his right hand and staring intently into her sapphire eyes.

"Ryan, your holding too tight, what's the matter? I said something about mac and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches, why?" Marissa's eyes darted back and forth across his face. His reaction had worried her.

"Marissa, those used to be the only two things we could make. It became like a little joke that neither of us could cook. Why did you choose those two things?"

"I don't know, they just came to me. I didn't even ……really…think…….about…it" She slowed the end of her sentence as she and Ryan came to the same realization. "Do you think my subconscious could be starting to kick in some of its own little surprises? That I could be starting to remember?" She was so excited at the thought that she might be remembering, she threw her arms around Ryan's neck to hug him in celebration.

Ryan was surprised by this, but slowly wrapped his arms around her back and hugged her tightly.

"It's possible" he said in her ear "in which case, tonight could really help you." He couldn't say much more as he took in the smell of her hair and the subtle scent of her perfume, both so familiar to him and finding it strange that she still used the same shampoo and perfume.

As they released slowly from their embrace, both wanted desperately to pull the other back into a passionate and earth-shattering kiss, but neither wanted to cross that boundary again just yet. The result was a rather awkward scene which somewhat resembled the two as magnets being repelled by each other. Marissa went back to chopping the onion and Ryan continued his rummaging through the fridge for the other ingredients he needed.

They worked without saying much more of anything for about fifteen minutes when the door bell rang. Ryan went to the front door while Marissa stayed in the kitchen. She could hear voices chatting and then one very loud voice.

"Ok, Atwood, enough already! Seth's bad enough as the doting father, I don't need Uncle Ryan treating me like I'm some fragile china doll now too. Just tell me where she is!!!" Summer was protesting Ryan and Seth's overprotective nature, but had managed to push past them to the kitchen.

"Oh my god" Summer had frozen in the doorway to the kitchen and was staring at Marissa. She could feel the tears welling up again. She hated how emotional her pregnancy had made her, but this was her best friend back from the dead! She let the tears fall and smiled and laughed not truly believing what she was seeing.

"Hi Summer" Marissa said shyly, she walked towards her and gave the small brunette a hug. As she did, she had a flash in her mind. "Purple" she said out loud.

"Purple?" all three of them said together as Ryan and Seth were now also in the kitchen.

"Purple." Marissa smiled and turned to Ryan "I hugged Summer and saw purple. Does that mean anything?"

"Mean anything?" Summer spoke up "Oh my god girlfriend, my whole damn room was purple in high school, and you spent A LOT of time there with me. Wow, here only a few minutes and already we're making progress." Summer was still wiping tears of joy from her eyes.

"And you must be Seth" Marissa said turning to the lanky, dark-haired man. "I guess we should hug too?" she stepped towards him.

"It's ok, I'm not much of a hugger, but great to see you." He waved uncomfortably then placed his hands in his pockets.

"Coop, let's go talk. We have a lot to catch up on." Summer grabbed Marissa's hand and dragged her into the living room. Marissa looked over her shoulder with a 'help me' smile to Ryan, who smiled back with a 'you'll be ok' look. Both noted that they were communicating without words like they had never been apart.

"So, didn't take long for you two to wanna get back in each others' pants did it?" Seth said with his usual tact after the girls had left.

"Seth, we're virtual strangers. I met her yesterday and she had no idea who I am, what we had or anything. I think we're gonna just try and be friends for now." Ryan leaned on the island in the kitchen. "Do you think I should grill some burgers too?" he asked trying to dodge Seth's next remarks.

"Ok, Ryan, this is your brother and your friend you are talking to. First of all, when were you and Marissa Cooper ever friends? You kept trying, but it never happened. Even at graduation, it would have surprised no one if you guys had got back together. Your so called 'friend' phases were just little hiatuses between you guys wanting to see each other naked, so don't give me the 'friends for now' speech. I'd even bet you guys either have done the nasty, or come very close already." Seth smiled and nodded at Ryan trying to glean the information he was looking for. "Oh and secondly, whether she remembers who you are or not, she's got the hots for you anyway."

"Seth…I don't even know what to say to that. Right now all I want to do is help her. That's what I've always done for Marissa is help her." He hadn't realized that he had raised his voice and the girls had come back into the kitchen.

"It's fine." Ryan said curtly brushing past them all to go out the front door. He went to his car and seemed to be rummaging through it. The other three watched him for a moment when Marissa spoke up.

"I'll go see if he's ok" she said walking out after Ryan. When she got to him he was lighting a rather bent cigarette that he had found in a pack stashed away in his car. He had always been a closet smoker in stressful situations.

Ryan took a long drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. He saw Marissa coming out of the house. He turned and shook his head, scoffing in mock disbelief.

"You and me on a driveway again. Seems like it's same shit, different day." He took another drag and walked away from her.

"Ryan, what happened with Seth? This is not the Ryan that has been helping me all day. Who ARE you right now?" Marissa stared at Ryan as he burst out laughing. She did not understand what was happening to him.

"See same shit, different day and you have no idea what I'm talking about." He put his cigarette in his mouth and looked at her sideways.

"Whoever, you want me to be" He said in his best James Dean leaving Marissa with an even more puzzled look on her face.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" She said raising her voice in sheer frustration. "You're the one who's brought all this on me, telling me I'm someone that you've loved all these years, wanting YOUR Marissa back, and now you fly off the handle about something Seth said and you won't tell me. I'd be just as happy to go back to being plain old boring Melissa Hooper. I was happy with no drama in my life, happy to be blissfully unaware of this other life. So you, Mr. I've-Got-To-Save-The-World-And-Every-Stray-In-It, can take your big plan and shove it up your ass, I don't want to do this." Marissa had her arms folded and was crying again.

Ryan tossed his cigarette away and put his hands on his hips chuckling to himself. This is what had been missing from his life all these years. Random arguments about nothing in particular, blown completely out of proportion. It made him realize why he had been upset with Seth. All of a sudden it became real again. It was all like before. He was getting ready to save Marissa…again. All the guilt he felt about not being able to save her in the car accident was crashing down on him now he had a chance to save her again. Ryan stepped closer to Marissa and folded his arms around her while her arms were still folded. She rested her head on his shoulder as he spoke.

"I'm sorry. Seth just gave me a bit of a reality check and a lot of things just hit me all at once. The last thing I want to do is take it out on you, but this…this is what WE do. We fight and we make up, we fight again and make up AGAIN." He pulled away from her and stood holding her arms gently. "It's a vicious cycle that we get caught in every time, and I was hoping we would have a chance to change that this time." His tone softened as Marissa smiled at him. "I said earlier that I wanted this to be right, and even though you're still not remembering yet, it feels so right it's scary. I guess Seth pointed that out to me and it freaked me out a bit. I mean, forty eight hours ago, I was a guy getting married in a few weeks. Now, I'm not getting married, I'm taking on a teenage boy, and I'm playing Ryan the Rescuer to Marissa Cooper once again."

Marissa stepped closer to Ryan, cupped his neck with her hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. A series of images flashed in her mind as Ryan deepened the kiss.

"A ferris wheel. A party on a boat. A New Years Eve Party?" she questioned as she pulled away. "I saw them as we were kissing. I saw me and you kissing."

"All places we had pretty mind-blowing kisses." Ryan smiled as he held his hands around her waist. "Oh, and this big plan…it was yours, not mine, but it seems to be working. I think we should invoke some more memories." He pulled her closer and kissed her again, exploring her mouth with his tongue. When they separated and turned to go back to the house, they noticed the audience they had had for their whole discussion. Seth and Summer were standing in the doorway with their arms around each other. Each had the same look on their face. The look that said 'awwww'.

"Ryan," whispered Marissa before they got back to the house "this is real. I'm not pretending anything, memory or not." They smiled at each other as they walked with their arms around each other back to the house.