Merlin sat against the wall, watching in fascination as he poked the wall and his finger sailed straight through it as if it was thin air. He wanted to cry, he wanted to be him again. He thought of Arthur and his stomach seemed to twist. It could have been him in this position, him who died in Merlin's arms, and he would never have become the great king he was supposed to be. This was his destiny, but he never thought it would be like this. After a few minutes, Arthur came into the room and Merlin stood up abruptly. He ran past and Merlin followed, drifting behind him. He could get used to this form of travel, and he supposed it was kind of fun to fly everywhere. Up ahead Arthur flung the door to his chambers open and ran in, Merlin followed and came to a stop at the sight that met him.

Arthur sat on his bed, head in his hands and his body shaking with sobs that didn't seem to end. Merlin was the one manservant he had felt for, and he had only understood those feelings in Merlin's final moments. He could still see Merlin's dying face in his mind, his beautiful dark eyes staring up into his deep blue ones as the life bled from the wound. The wound he had taken for him. He took in a long, shuddering sigh and it reminded him of Merlin's last breaths. Wiping his eyes he lay back. "Oh, if you could see me now, Merlin." He said it in a low voice.

"Hey! Arthur? I can! I'm here!" Merlin tried to shout at him but Arthur couldn't hear. Merlin drifted closer and stood by the bed, wanting so desperately to be able to tell Arthur that it was okay, that he was still there, but the thing he wanted the most was to be able to put his arms around the grief stricken prince and comfort him. He looked at him for a few minutes before shaking his head and drifting out of the room, unable to watch any more.

Gaius sat in his chambers, head resting in his hands. A bowl of food sat in front of him, cold and uneaten; he wasn't hungry, he'd just made it because he needed something to do. He hadn't moved Merlin's body yet, he couldn't bring himself to. A message had been sent to Hunith and Gaius dreaded her arrival, dreaded having to tell her the news. He sighed and took a small mouthful of the cold food and chewed, not tasting it at all. It felt like part of Camelot was missing, and it was never going to come back. After a few minutes, Gaius got up and began setting up a sleeping draught. On the way to getting the ingredients he passed Merlin's body, still covered by the sheet, the shape of the dagger's handle obscuring it grossly. He sighed again, a lump rising in his throat. He fingered the sheet, shifting it slightly, contemplating whether he should lift it and remove the dagger. He sighed, he couldn't face seeing Merlin like that. After a few minutes, he shook his head and resumed gathering ingredients from the random places they had been strewn to in the rush to save Merlin. After several minutes of searching, he found the right ingredients and began to make the draught.

Night gradually bled into Morning and Arthur watched as the sun slowly rose, turning the sky from a dark blue into golds and oranges and reds, gradually merging into light blue overhead. The light tinged the buildings in the village pink and the warmth caressed his face in a welcoming glow. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked, and another answered, its low booming barks echoing over the valley. Thin tendrils of smoke danced and swirled from the chimneys, cooking fires and camp fires, and from the market the shouts of merchants selling their wares could already be heard. The beauty of the morning raised a lump in Arthur's throat, because he could watch the sun rise, and would see it set in the evening. Merlin had lost that, he wasn't going to see this again, wasn't going to hear the merchant's shouts. Wasn't going to give him that heart shattering grin of his ever again. Tears welled up in his eyes and overflowed. Arthur wiped them away, closed the window and sighed. Sitting on the bed, Arthur yawned and rubbed his tired eyes, thoughts drifting back to the dream he had last night. It was still so fresh in his mind, he could remember it in exact detail, Merlin standing over him, eyes glowing a brighter gold than he had ever seen, and mouth moving in a soundless scream, and then falling, falling so fast the wind ruffled his hair and screamed past his ears. And then jolting awake sweating and screaming, head pounding and ears ringing.

Arthur shuddered at the memory. He hadn't had a dream like that for as long as he could remember, and wondered what it meant. That image of Merlin scared him the most, and it was still haunting him, lurking at the back of his mind where he had pushed it away.

A small knock at the door jolted Arthur back from his thoughts. "Enter" He called with a numb voice that didn't sound like him anymore. It felt like everything that had made him Arthur had been ripped out, leaving an empty shell. The door opened and Arthur looked over, half expecting to see Merlin and sighed when a small looking boy with short brown hair and light green eyes walked in, holding a breakfast tray and looking scared.

"Your b-b-breakfast, sire." He set it on the table, nodded and waited to be dismissed.

"Thank you" Arthur got up and inspected the tray. Nothing looked particularly appetising and he wasn't hungry. He looked at the boy. "You may leave." The boy nodded and quickly and awkwardly left the room, his slightly lopsided gait reminding him of Merlin slightly. He sighed and turned to the tray. Shaking his head he turned away and returned to his bed.

Merlin wasn't sure what to do with himself. He had spent much of the night drifting around the castle and the village and was now hanging around in the courtroom. Uther sat on his throne, head in his hands. Gaius stood in front of him looking tired and so much older.

"Merlin, is definantly dead?" Uther's voice was low and almost monotone.

"Yes, sire. I couldn't save him." Gaius looked up at Uther, eyes brimming with tears. "He died…last night. In Arthur's arms."

Uther sighed. "Yes, he and Merlin were very close." He sighed again. "He was a sorcerer, wasn't he?"

Merlin felt a chill run through his spirit self and drifted closer. "Don't say it, Gaius!" he shouted, knowing it wouldn't make any difference. But Gaius seemed to hear him. He looked around with sad eyes and shook his head. He looked up at Uther, hesitated, and nodded.

"Yes, he was. He never practiced magic though."

"He did before he died" Uther pointed out. "He slowed down time."

Gaius nodded. "He did, I can't deny that."

"Gaius?"

"Yes?"

"You know the punishment for harbouring a sorcerer, don't you?"

"NO!" Merlin shouted it as loud as he could and this time it seemed to be felt. Both men shivered and a pulse of energy seemed to rush through the room. Merlin couldn't believe he'd done it, could they feel his presence? "Gaius?" Merlin said it in a small voice, but Gaius didn't hear. He shuddered under his cloak and looked up at the king.

"Yes, I know too well."

Uther sighed. "Gaius, you're my friend. Why did you betray me?"

That question was like an arrow to the chest. Gaius sensed hurt in that voice, and disappointment, but no anger.

Gaius looked at the floor, unable to take Uther's gaze. "Because I had to. I couldn't turn him away, he was my nephew."

"I see." Uther got up and put a hand on Gaius' shoulder. "I won't punish you, Gaius. Merlin, what he did, I will never forget that. He sacrificed himself for my son. Without him Arthur wouldn't be here. For that, I will be eternally grateful."

Merlin smiled, and felt elated that Gaius was safe. And Uther looked up to him, and that was a good thing to know. But he felt sad that he couldn't tell Gaius, couldn't tell him that he was fine, and couldn't do anything but drift around like a useless bit of air.

Arthur sat in Gaius' chambers, watching as he set up the sleeping draught he had asked for. He sighed and ran a hand through his thick blonde hair.

"What are we going to do about…?" Arthur nodded at the table, where Merlin's body was still covered. Tears welled in his eyes as he thought about what had happened.

"I don't know. I can't bring myself to…" Gaius trailed off as he felt a lump forming in his throat.

"I know. I didn't realise it would be like this. I didn't realise I'd miss him so much." Arthur rubbed at his eyes as they threatened to spill over.

"I know, but we have to be strong. For Merlin at least." Gaius sat down opposite him and handed him the draught. "There you go; peppermint, valerian and lavender. It should calm you and help you fall into a natural sleep. Take two mouthfuls half an hour before you go to bed." Gaius sighed and rubbed his eyes. "To be honest, you're not the only one in need of a draught."

"Gaius, I had a very strange dream last night, more of a nightmare."

"Really? Can you remember it?"

"Yes, as clear as day," Arthur described the dream, and Gaius seemed as shocked as he was at Merlin's part within it.

"Hmm…I can't think of what that could mean, but that's very interesting. Hopefully the sleeping draught will help." Gaius yawned mid-sentence. "Sorry, I'm just so tired. If you have any more, let me know and I can make you something stronger."

"Thank you, Gaius, for everything."

Gaius nodded "You're welcome, it's not a problem."

"Night, Gaius." Arthur got up and walked to the door.

"Night, Arthur. Don't do anything stupid now."

He stopped in the doorway and looked back. "Why would I do that? Merlin wouldn't want that. He gave his life for me and I'm not going to throw that away."

"Good, there's been enough loss already." Gaius stood and began setting up another draught. Arthur presumed it was for himself. He sighed, turned and left for his own chambers, hoping the draught Gaius had given him would work, and keep the nightmares at bay.

Gaius sat at the table, staring at the door and waiting. His eyes wandered over to where Merlin's body still lay. He sighed, got up and walked over to it. Taking in a few deep breaths, he pulled back the thin sheet. Merlin lay still and pale, mouth slightly open and a small bloodstain where blood had trickled from his mouth. Taking the corner of the sheet, Gaius did his best to wipe it away, blinking back the tears that blurred his vision. He gently peeled back the sheet to expose the protruding dagger, and his breaths caught in half choked sobs as he looked down at the dead boy. The son he never had. With shaking fingers, he gently unwrapped and removed the wadded bandages, and using some clean ones wiped away the blood from the hilt of the dagger. The dagger made it real, confirmed that yesterday had really happened, and it had taken Merlin from him, from Arthur, from Camelot. Gaius felt anger bubble in the pit of his stomach, but it was soon fizzled out by the realisation that without Merlin's sacrifice, it would be Arthur lying here. Gaius sighed and let the sobs leave him, their pressure in his chest too much to bear.

Merlin found himself drifting into Gaius' chambers. The room was the same as it had been when he left it, but now Gaius was the only person there. A bowl of food sat on the table, cold and untouched. He looked about for Gaius, and a wave of sadness hit him when he was where he was and what he was doing. Gaius was leant over Merlin's body, sobbing almost uncontrollably. Merlin drifted closer and inspected his own body. His mouth was stained with blood, and he could see where Gaius had tried to clean it up. Merlin's eyes travelled to his chest, where the dagger was still embedded, right up to the hilt. He looked at it closely and couldn't deny that it was beautiful. He watched as Gaius gently removed the bandages he had placed around it to try and stop the bleeding, and Merlin saw that they were all stained a deep crimson. He suddenly couldn't watch anymore, and slowly backed away, but for some reason he couldn't leave the room, something kept him there, curiosity maybe, or the fact that this place had become his home. He stopped and watched Gaius put a hand on the hilt of the dagger, and it shifted its position. Merlin felt it, a small jolt of pain, much like the shocks he would get when he touched anything metal after polishing Arthur's boots, jolt in his chest. Instinctively, his hand went up and he could feel nothing but cold. He drifted closer; intrigued now as to what was going to happen when Gaius removed the dagger completely. Gaius prepared himself, and with a horrible sounding squelch pulled the dagger clean from Merlin's chest. Ghost Merlin felt a burning pain flare in his chest for a second, and he cried out, bent double in agony. Slowly, the pain ebbed to a dull throb and he straightened up, hugging his chest and looking at the place the dagger had been on his body. After a few seconds, it had gone, and Merlin felt a little more solid and comfortable. He looked at his hand and moved it from side to side. It shifted and reformed each time, much like it had before. He looked up to see Gaius staring at the place he was standing, a strange look of fear and recognition in his eyes. "Merlin?" Hs voice was strained, and questioning. Merlin smiled and waved awkwardly.

"Gaius? Can you…hear me?" Merlin moved forward and Gaius backed away, eyes wide with terror and face pale and then Merlin remembered that Gaius was very superstitious, and saw ghosts as bad omens, no matter who they were. Merlin took a step back and another and another until he was standing in the doorway, watching the old physician with sad spirit eyes. He raised his hand again and waved once, before letting his arm drop to his side, turning and letting himself dissolve from sight.