-1Bella calm down, breath… you don't want to think about her. Think about something else… Alice have changed, she looks stronger, but she is not matured. How I know that? Because I can always make her fight with me. Let´s face it, I´m not matured either. Agh! I hate how she gets all red and angry… she looks so fucking beautiful. Wait! What am I doing? I´m thinking about her… AGAIN! I need to be strong as a rock and colds as an ice… because while I fight with her I notice all her virtues, like how she cooks the most delicious food ever, how she likes to sing whiles she is taking a shower, her voice is beautiful…

¨agh! Sleep is not working now, I have to find some other way to not think about her, ¨that women is like a virus inside my head¨ I said while I sit in my bed.

After some minutes all the stress goes away, I´m not thinking about her. maybe I got over her or maybe because these 2 nights I had been in some random bars. I have met different beautiful girls who at some point they did help me to forget about Alice, but then I came back home and again everything was about her. Especially because my mother and nanny got mad at me, why? Because they said I was cheating on Alice, of course I was! This marriage means nothing, at least not for me. Besides probably she cheat on me also… come on! She was in Italy!

¨ Isabella Marie Swan! What are you doing? You´re going to be late for your weeding!¨ Renee yells at me.

I forgot! Today is the day… my weeding with that witch is today! ¨please mother! Tell me today is not Saturday!¨

¨Bella, today IS Saturday and you have to get ready… or do you change your mind?¨ that sounds like a good idea to me.

¨ No, I can't loose the hospital… you know it not about the money mom, if I loose the hospital, I don´t know what could happened to those people….¨ I fight back the tears, I´m not going to cry that won't fix anything.

¨I know Bella, I know… take a shower and get ready¨ she kissed my forehead.

Renee is not talking to me, she knows me very well, she knows that I don´t like it when people interrupt me while I´m thinking. Right now we are in the limousine. Destiny? My suicide? Am I exaggerating?´

¨ You look stunning Bella… just beautiful¨ my mother said, she is out of the limo, we are already here. And now everybody is waiting for me… great!

¨ Bella! You are breathtaking… Beautiful!¨ I take Jacob´s hand.

¨ Thank you for coming Jacob, I really need your support¨

¨Alice´s family is here… you know! Besides her parents, so hurry up Bella¨ my mother walked me.

¨ Calm down mother, she is no even here, probably she won't come¨ hopefully I thought.

¨ I just talked to Jasper, they´re in their way… so don't get you hopes up¨ now we are in front of the judge. ¨stay here and do not move, Jacob come with me¨ and they leave me there all by myself in front of all these people… awesome.

I can´t believe this situation, this is supposed to happen in novels not in real life. The judge smiles at me, so I get closed to him. ¨ Sir…¨ I clear my throat ¨ I know it´s not the time but…¨

¨ Relax honey, deep breath… do not think, just listen to your heart¨ he smiles at me once again, he thinks he is helping me.

¨ Sure, I will¨ you can do it Bella, it´s just a year. Just please do not forget who she really is and you´ll be okay.

¨ the bride is here¨ I heard, I don't want to see her, I focus in the judge's face. ¨it´s just a year¨ I said to myself while a tear is running from my eye.

People are whispering things I can´t hear, no when all I can hear is Alice´s steps getting closer, then I smell her delicious sent, I know she is right next tome now… but I look at the floor… I won´t see her… not yet. I keep telling me that this is for the best, that a year is nothing, that she is not stronger than me… now everything gets quiet until I heard her said ¨ I Do¨ Alice´s voice sounds weak and insecure… I can´t see her, but I know she is biting her lip to stop her sobs. The judge is asking me something, but I don't understand or maybe I don't want to understand. Another silence, but longer…. Then I realize they are waiting for my answer… ¨ I Do¨ then he said that we may kiss.

I close my eyes and then I face her, she is not wearing a white dress, she is wearing a tight black suit, her black short hair pointing to everywhere… and her eyes say how painful this is for her, I come closer to her…

¨ You are not the only one suffering her Alice, and sorry… but I won´t kiss you… ever¨ I whispered before I walked out of there.

The Next Day!

I can´t be this weak! I feel terrible! Even when she is a witch she didn't deserve that humiliation…. The way I left her there in front of all those people. All I know is that I couldn't kiss her, so I left… but this guilt is killing me now, damn it, I thought the old Bella was buried completely.

I walked trough the hall and stop in front of her door. I open it very slowly, I´m a little nervous…. But it gets worst, there she was half naked… just wearing underwear ¨ Wow¨ I said without stop looking at her perfect body, she is a goddess. Even when I close my eyes and said that she is not beautiful… it´s impossible to deny it, this woman is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

I close the door… very slowly and walk to my bedroom. I close the door behind me ¨ God! Why do I want her so badly?¨

¨Good morning¨ Alice said sitting in front of me in the table.

¨ Darling, you look better… did you sleep well?¨ so now nanny was talking.

¨ Don´t worry, with those pills you give me I slept like a baby… but I´m having a difficult time trying to get some sleep¨ and they are talking like I am invisible.

¨Maybe it´s your consciousness¨ I said.

¨Mine or yours?¨ here we go I thought.

¨ I have nothing impure on my conscious, no regrets¨ I said proudly.

¨ Ohh… so spying me while I´m naked is not impure? ? ¨ she asked upset.

¨ I wasn´t spying¨ I said nervous. She is winning Bella. Remember why you are here, remember who she is… the witch who married your father because of his money… I left the old Bella behind, and the cold Bella came. ¨ Besides! You´re my wife, I have all the rights to see your body anytime I want… tonight we´ll see how virgin you are¨

¨ I told you, you won't touch me… I don´t like women ¨ she tried to sound calm… but now it´s too late for that.

¨oh! So you won't sleep with me, but you'll keep sleeping with Jasper?¨ I don't know from where that come from…fuck!