Reservations
"I can't go through with this."
Remus lifted his head from the table and met Sirius's eyes. Looking down at his oldest friend, Sirius saw the stress of the last few weeks written in the lines on his face. The death of Dumbledore, not just the head of their Order and their best hope of defeating Voldemort, but the man who had given him his first and greatest chance in life, had taken a heavy toll on him, and there had been little time to grieve. They had been back in action hours after his death, reinforcing the defensive spells around Grimmauld Place and setting in motion pre existing plans to protect Harry after he had left the sanctuary of Hogwarts.
Tonks had been wonderful for Remus at first. They had comforted each other as best they could, and there was no doubt in Sirius's mind that Remus would have slipped into a deep depression if not for her. But guilt was an undeniable part of Remus's nature, and it had taken him no more than a couple of days to begin to question their relationship all over again. Last night, watching the shadows in Remus's eyes darken as the steady march of hours brought them closer to dawn, Sirius had known that he would try to convince himself that he couldn't marry Tonks.
"I can't go through with this," Remus repeated, a note of desperation entering his voice. "To marry Tonks would be to destroy her life. She would be an exile from society, from her family!"
"You're entering a family of exiles," countered Sirius. "Andromeda was cut off from her family when she married Ted, and you know what happened when I refused to bow to my parents' pure blood dogma. Ted's a muggle born and Tonks is a member of the Order, and with the way things stand at the moment life is going to get very difficult for them soon."
"All the more reason for me to stay away from her!" cried Remus. "If Voldemort is targeting her now, can you imagine the ferocity with which she would be hunted if she married a werewolf?"
"Would you tell Ted to leave Andromeda because he's muggle born?" demanded Sirius.
"No, but-"
"Would you tell Evie to leave me because she's a Potter?"
"That's an entirely different situation!"
"I don't see how," said Sirius calmly. "You can't help being a werewolf any more than Ted can help being a muggle born or Evie can help being a Potter. Besides," he continued, "Tonks is a member of the Order. Do you think she joined up without knowing the dangers she faced?"
Remus glowered at him. "Those dangers did not include marrying a werewolf."
"But it means she accepts danger as a fact of life and knows the risk she takes every time she agrees to a mission. Even if being your wife would put her life in more danger than it already is, she's clearly decided that the benefits outweigh the risks." He paused for a second before continuing in a quieter voice. "If Voldemort comes to power, Evie will be the second most hunted person in the country. I'd be furious with her if she ever thought of leaving to protect me. It's worth the added risk to keep her in my life."
"Even if that's true for Tonks," said Remus, burying his face in his hands, "she still deserves someone better than me. I'm old and poor and-"
"I'm inclined to agree," interrupted Sirius. "Why Tonks fell for a miserable git like you is a mystery, but she's made up her mind and she wouldn't appreciate you questioning her decision."
Remus's head snapped up. The two men glared at each other in silence for several long moments, and Sirius wondered whether he had crossed a line and was about to receive a fist in his face for his troubles. Then the hard, angry line of Remus's mouth began to tremble, and a chuckle escaped his throat. Sirius found himself smiling in return, then chuckling, then laughing until his sides hurt. Neither of them could remember precisely what had sparked their sudden hysterics, but as it seemed like weeks since they had last laughed, and both knew that reasons to smile would be few and far between in the near future, they didn't question it.
"Thank you," said Remus when he had finally regained enough breath to speak.
"I'm not sure what I did, but you're welcome." Sirius pulled back the flap of the tent, which had been erected because of Andromeda's insistence that Remus and Tonks would not sleep under the same roof on the eve of their wedding, and peered into the garden. A few chairs had been arrayed on the grass, all pointing towards a white arch bedecked with flowers and ribbons. The officiator, an eager but trustworthy young man from the Ministry, chatted to a small, nervous looking woman: Remus's mother. Apart from himself, Evie and Tonks's parents, she was the only guest. With only a few days until Harry was due to be removed from the Dursleys' no one from the Order could spare time to attend a wedding, and neither Tonks nor Remus was fond of elaborate celebrations.
"I think Tonks should be coming out soon," said Sirius. "Are you ready?"
Remus took a steadying gulp of air and rose to his feet. Wordlessly he nodded at Sirius and left the tent. Outside Andromeda was hurrying down the aisle between the chairs, hastily setting a hat on her head as she walked. "Ready, you two?" she asked, and when they nodded added, "You look very handsome, Remus."
"Thank you, Andromeda," mumbled Remus.
"It's mum now," she corrected him, smiling gently. She turned her gaze to Sirius and her expression became teasing. "You don't look too bad either. Shame about the nose."
"And you look beautiful, cousin, except for the meringue on your head," returned Sirius.
Andromeda tried to hide a smile and turned back to the house. Sirius liked the gentle teasing between them, reminiscent of the conversations of their youth. He had never expected to be accepted by a member of his family again, but an hour after the Ministry had cleared his name Andromeda had arrived on the doorstep of Grimmauld Place, torn between tears and laughter. Thanks to work for the Order and his new job at the Ministry they hadn't seen each other in the months since, but they had written a constant stream of letters.
Andromeda reappeared after a couple of minutes and took her seat, pointing her wand at a violin lying near the arch. The instrument rose into the air and began to play itself. What issued from the strings was not the traditional wedding march, but the tune to the latest song by the Weird Sisters. Sirius smiled: trust Tonks.
The door of the house opened and Evie stepped out. As maid of honour she wore a simple but beautiful dress, the style of which wouldn't have looked out of place in a medieval portrait. Her hair had been allowed to fall freely down her back and someone, Tonks or Andromeda, had placed a circlet of daisies upon her head. As she drew closer she smiled almost shyly at him, and Sirius found himself wishing that they were somewhere private, where it wouldn't be incredibly inappropriate to kiss her.
Eyes fixed on Evie, Sirius didn't notice who was escorting her down the aisle until they had stopped almost in front of him. He had to suppress a sudden urge to laugh. It was Mad Eye, dressed in what Sirius presumed was his best and looking very uncomfortable. Having assumed command of the Order since Dumbledore's death, Mad Eye had barely had time to sleep, let alone attend weddings. But Tonks had been his protégée at the Ministry and the two had a close relationship, even if they didn't always show it. Sirius should have known that he would find a way to be here for her.
Mad Eye took a seat next to Remus's mother while Evie stood opposite Sirius. The doors opened again as the music increased pace, and this time Tonks emerged, escorted by her father. Her dress was in the same style as Evie's but white and with pearls sewn into the cuffs, and her hair was an almost eye watering shade of pink, brighter than Sirius had ever seen it before. It was difficult for Sirius to look at Tonks and see anything other than the gawky child who had hero worshipped him, but today, seeing the happiness and determination that shone from her eyes, he realised just how much she had grown in his absence, and was more certain than ever that she was far more aware of what this marriage entailed than Remus knew. She practically danced down the aisle.
Ted passed his daughter's hand happily into Remus's, and Sirius hoped that Remus had marked that. No shadow of doubt had passed over Ted's face, no flicker of fear in his eyes. Clearly he and Andromeda weren't as opposed to the marriage as Remus seemed to believe. For the moment, smiling down at Tonks, Remus's doubt seemed to have dissolved. Sirius hoped that this new certainty would last more than a day or two, but his heart told him that it would not. At school Remus had always been the voice of conscience, and the intervening years had only increased his seriousness and the self doubt that constantly plagued him.
The ceremony was short and simple, just as the couple had requested. The officiator stumbled a couple of times and blushed a deep red when Tonks kissed her new husband a little too enthusiastically, but apart from that they were married without mishap. When Tonks finally released Remus, Mad Eye was waiting to enfold her in an awkward but heartfelt hug. Remus tactfully departed to speak to his mother, who was still dabbing her eyes with the corner of a handkerchief.
"This is the way, Tonks," said Mad Eye quietly. "Plan for the future, show them that you're not going to let them stop you living your life."
"Mad Eye!" said Tonks, drawing back in surprise. "That was actually optimistic."
Sirius stepped away. He didn't want to intrude on this conversation and Evie was waiting for him, an invitation in her eyes. Going to her, he drew her away from the small crowd of people and kissed her soundly. Behind him he heard Ted's deep throated laughter and guessed that he was the source of his amusement, but ignored him and didn't loosen his embrace on Evie until both of them were a little breathless. "You look beautiful," he said, pulling away just enough to look at her.
Her lips quirked upwards in amusement. "I gathered from your greeting. But it's nice to hear it."
"I'm not sure I approve of these, though," he said, and brushed his fingertip over the dark circles beneath her eyes. "What exactly did you and Tonks get up to last night?"
"The usual hen night stuff," she said smoothly. "Lots of giggling with some of Tonks's friends from the Ministry."
Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously. She had spoken much more slowly than usual, as if repeating a speech that had been memorised. This was clearly a version of the previous night that she and Tonks had concocted and practiced together. Evie smiled at him serenely, not at all concerned about his sceptical silence. He would have liked to question her more, but at that moment Andromeda appeared at her side. "I need to borrow Evie for a moment," she said. "I'm not interrupting anything important, am I?"
"Nothing that we can't continue later," he said, more to Evie than to Andromeda, and her slight frown told him that she realised he knew she wasn't telling him the whole truth.
He was only alone for a few seconds before Remus waylaid him. Sirius was glad to see that his friend was smiling, and that the warmth of it touched his eyes. "Tonks still talking to Mad Eye?" he asked.
"No, he had to leave. We're going in a minute, but first I…" Remus lowered his voice to a whisper. "I just wanted to say thank you. For earlier. If you hadn't-"
Sirius interrupted him with a raised hand. "You would have come to your senses on your own, given time."
Remus smiled sadly. "I'd like to think so." He sighed, making a visual effort to push away his self doubt. When he raised his eyes to meet Sirius's he was smiling again, but this time it was half hearted. "We're leaving now. We're both back on duty tomorrow morning so we need to make the most of the honeymoon."
"Wait, I'll get Evie. She'll want to say goodbye." Sirius turned and spotted Andromeda and Evie, but something about them made him pause. Andromeda was smiling pleasantly but Evie looked as if she had been slapped. Something was very out of place, but before he could take so much as a step forwards Tonks had appeared next to the two women. Evie hastily fixed a smile onto her face. The three spoke briefly before Andromeda hugged her daughter and Tonks linked her arm through Evie's, heading back to where Sirius and Remus still stood.
"Thanks for getting Remus to the altar," said Tonks jokingly when she reached them, but Sirius winced at the truth of her words.
"Couldn't keep him away," he said, and hoped that she hadn't noticed the slight tremor in his voice. His fear was alleviated when Tonks beamed at her new husband and slipped her hand into his.
"We'll see you two tomorrow," she said. "Thank you for being part of the day, and good luck, Evie!" With that, they turned on the spot and disappeared.
"Good luck? What does that…?" Evie's eyes widened. "My results!" she cried. "I'd completely forgotten."
After the battle at the Department of Mysteries, Evie had decided that she wanted to join the Ministry, and the Aurors in particular. She had no wish to specialise in combat, having no talent for that brand of magic, but attached to the Aurors was a department that dealt in poisons and antidotes. Before she could even consider joining them, however, she needed to obtain her NEWTs. After spending almost a year studying, Evie had sat her exams at Hogwarts a few weeks before.
"We need to get home," she said, and grabbed Sirius's hand. She turned on the spot and he was forced to turn with her, entering the uncertain darkness of Apparition. When they arrived at their destination he heard the now familiar roaring of the sea in his ears, and before him stood a large, whitewashed house: their house.
Sirius still smiled every time he arrived at his front door. It was as opposite to Grimmauld Place as it was possible to be. No shadowy corners filled with dark and dangerous artefacts, just light and treasured possessions. No rooms haunted with the memories of his childhood, but the opportunity to make new memories with Evie. Best of all was the knowledge that he could leave it at any time of the day or night without fear.
No sooner had they stepped through the door than a small blur launched itself at Evie. She smiled and bent down to return Winky's hug while Sirius rolled his eyes. He had been extremely reluctant to employ the house elf at first after Kreacher had almost cost him his life, but Dumbledore had persuaded him. Winky's life at Hogwarts had been a desperately unhappy one, having been shunned by the other house elves for her behaviour. But under Evie's care she had improved immensely and now she seemed to be happy, although some times they heard her crying over the master who had betrayed her so horribly.
"Was the wedding nice, Miss Potter?" asked Winky.
"I'll tell you all about it later," promised Evie. "But first I need to know if any owls arrived for me while I was gone."
"There was one, Miss," said Winky, and hurried off to get it while Evie turned a pale shade of green.
Sirius wrapped an arm around her waist. "Relax," he ordered. "I know you've passed everything with flying colours."
"I know I failed the Defence Against the Dark Arts practical, it was…" she trailed off as Winky returned with a brown envelope. She took it from the house elf with shaking hands and ran her fingers over the Hogwarts seal. She tore open the envelope in the manner of one ripping off a plaster, and quickly unfurled the letter inside. Her body tensed against Sirius's.
"Evie?" he asked hesitantly.
"I did it!" she whispered. "I passed everything!"
Winky cheered and announced that she had been hiding a bottle of champagne for the occasion. Sirius watched Evie follow her, laughing, to the kitchen, and smiled at her happiness. There had been a time, a few months ago, when he had thought that she would never smile again. He decided to ask her about her night with Tonks and the conversation with Andromeda tomorrow. He wouldn't spoil her day.