Okay, I have found a beta (thanks so, so, so, so much, Elazaria)! So I hope this chapter is better with all of the typos and whatnot. Besides that, no real news that I can think of. Wait, no I want to say that this will be, in fact, the only goodbyes chapter. So with that being said, enjoy!

(DISCLAIMER: I am not Suzanne Collins! Still!)

Chapter 5 – Never Leave Your Side

-Ayla Maze, District 6-

The escort's words still ring in my ears as I'm shuffled into the Justice Building by a group of Peacekeepers.

Ayla Maze shall be the female tribute!

I can't believe it. How…? My head can't even wrap around the idea that this could very well be my last time in my district. The last time to see my family. I can feel my eyes start to well up with tears, but I have to pull myself together. In order to have a better chance at both coming home and keeping my family together, I cannot afford to cry. If my family sees me breaking down, how would they ever be able to hold themselves up? When the cameras show, if my eyes are red and puffy, why would anyone want to sponsor me? They would think I was weak, and I can't allow that.

I'm pushed into a room, unaccompanied. It has dark red walls and dark wood flooring with several plush couches and chairs. The walls remind me of old, dried blood.

Lovely, I'm already thinking about gore and dying.

Sitting down on one of the couches, I wipe the water away from my eyes and prepare for the goodbyes to come.

A Peacekeeper opens the door and all at once my siblings rush into the room.

Straight away, Max runs to me. I pick him up and hug him. His little arms go around my neck and hold it, strong. I don't want to let him go either. But I have to, sooner or later. I set him down on my lap and hug my other three siblings whose faces have all turned pink and shimmer from tears.

After simple holding and consoling, my sisters all sit back while I continue to hold my little brother in my lap. That's when I notice the still figure standing by the door.

My mom must have walked in without a sound after my siblings and skipped my notice. Unconsciously, my eyes narrow slightly. But within the second I turn to my sisters and my expression lightens again. I'm not sure if my mom saw the infinitesimal change or not. I hope she did.

Running her hands through my hair, Masie snivels, "Ayla, you can't go!" Her voice is high pitched and whining. A single tear resting on her cheek catches my attention.

With tender fingers I wipe the tear away. "But I have no choice. Don't worry about me, though. I'll be fine." I hope, I add silently. Please let me be fine.

Masie's twin, Jamie, touches my arm on the other side of me. "Who's going to run the store until you get back?"

I smile at Jamie's certainty and seriousness. I know I can count on her to keep everyone's spirits up.

"Anna? Would you be able to do that?" I crane my head to see Anna, the next oldest sibling next to myself at age twelve, sitting on the couch on the opposite side of Masie. Anna's just sitting there, noiselessly, watching us until I call her to attention.

"Oh," her voice sounds breathless. "Yes, of course I could."

I turn back to Jamie. "See? You guys will be fine."

With that, Jamie decides to lighten the mood by telling a funny story about what a boy did who was standing next to her did while waiting for the reapings. While she's talking, I sit back and look around at everyone.

First at Max. I examine his chubby face and hands. His bright blue eyes that are way too intent and focused for his age. I'm going to really miss him. I pray that Anna will be able to run the store well and make a living for our family so that he can be okay.

Then Jamie. Sweet, positive, Jamie who is so self-confidant it shines through her to others.

And Masie, the only ten year old I've ever known who can really pull off the word "attitude".

Finally, Anna. Silent, calming, and in control. I know she can do well to support our family. Right now she's grinning at what Jamie is saying, and I can see that she is going to grow to be a wonderful young woman soon.

I sigh. If only I could see them all grow up. I feel like their mother, always taking care of them. Our real mom is now constantly out with her Peacekeeper boyfriend. She has been since Dad died.

And now I have to leave them all.

Jamie's story comes to a close, and we all sit in silence, just holding each other. The only sound in the room comes from our soft breathing. Then Mom walks up.

"Mind if I join you?" I scowl when I see that her eyes are also red and watery. She doesn't deserve the right to be sad. Slightly upset, I would understand. But crying? Really? She doesn't pay a lick of interest in me on any of the days I'm not sentenced to die. Why did she even bother showing up right now? She must just want the attention. But I decide to try and let it slide.

"Um, no, I don't mind," I reply. She blinks at my tone, and I feel bad for hurting her. Sure, she doesn't really care about me. But that doesn't mean she needs to feel terrible about it. Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize that her children are in fact the best things that ever happened to her. On that day I want her to remember me as a kinder person, not the brat who wouldn't even let her say goodbye.

I lift Maxxy off of my lap and stand up. Mom approaches me and looks up at my face. She's a few inches shorter than me, but that doesn't make her look any less intimidating.

"Honey…." I can tell that she's finding this just as awkward as I am. I wait for her to finish her sentence, but the words never leave her lips. Instead, she just holds her arms out to hug me. Reluctantly, I let myself be folded into her arms and wrap mine around her, too. But it doesn't last long. We pull apart, and she finally seems to know what to say. "Honey, I want to say I'm sorry."

And I can't stand it. The look on her face, the pouting words. I can't accept her apology. I want to be able to, but I can't bring myself to say the words I forgive you. I just can't. She should know that. But before I get the chance to reply, the Peacekeepers come in and usher everyone out. My siblings leave reluctantly, but Mom refuses. She struggles against the Peacekeepers hold and gasps, "Ayla, please—" but she doesn't manage to get the rest of the sentence out. They take her away. And I will never know what she was about to say.

I sit for a moment in silence until the door opens back up. And in walks Nat. Seeing him, I can't help myself. I spring up from the couch and run to him, throwing my arms around his neck. He catches me and pulls me close. I bury my face in his chest and take him in. Everything about him. The heat of his body, the gentleness he holds me with, but mostly his smell. It is unique to him in the way that a thumbprint is unique to every human. It's soft, just a tad bit sweet, and warm. I would recognize it anywhere.

Nat pulls back and tilts my head up to look at my face. I blink furiously, mentally cursing myself for crying. Again.

"Ayla." He just states my name and continues to stare at me, at my eyes. He says it softly, gently. And that word starts to tear me apart.

I've known Nat for… for forever. He's been my best friend my entire life. I can't name a time in my life when he wasn't there with me, helping me fight life's small battles. But now here we are, saying goodbye. And this time he won't be able to stand beside me for the war I see raging ahead.

"Remember when I was ten and you were nine? At one point we were sitting in my living room on the couch watching a Hunger Games," Nat asks quietly.

I nod with my gaze still transfixed on him. We watched the Games often at his house after school. I didn't remember it very clearly, but I had a feeling Nat did; he always had a great memory.

"One particular reaping stood out to me. I believe it was for District 5. I remember watching as the male tribute was called up. Now I can't recall the name of the boy, but I can still picture him. He was tall and very thin, like he rarely got to eat. He came from the sixteens' section and was a typical blonde with blue eyes."

"Like your eyes?" I cut in.

"Lighter than my eyes."

I try to envision this boy, but I can't seem to hold onto the image. Instead, Nat keeps showing up in my brain.

He continues, "So the boy's name was drawn, and he began to walk up to the platform. But right before he went up the stairs, he seemed to change his mind and started running the opposite direction.

"People started yelling and all of the Peacekeepers standing around the perimeter surged into the crowd trying to get to the boy, but he was right in the middle of everyone and they couldn't reach him. Some people started screaming as the Peacekeeper's forced their way through, but the boy didn't take notice. The camera was focused only on him as he ran. His eyes were glued in one direction, and he had an unbelievably determined expression on his face. Then the camera swung around to show what he was looking at.

"It was a girl. She was with the clump of fourteens, same age as you now. Her eyes were enormous, round, and a rich brown color. She had hair cut short, above her shoulders. By the looks of her clothes she was incredibly poor.

"The boy sprinted up to her and scooped her up in a giant bear hug; he was so much bigger than she was. Then the girl started crying when he let go of her. He stood in front of her, holding her hands. And he said one of my favorite lines ever: I will be by your side throughout it all. I will never leave you."

Nat pauses, and I wait to see if he has anything more to say.

"Later that week I was watching that same Game at my house. You were with your family," Nat continues, voice weaker and shaky. "The same boy was on the screen, and he was attacked by another tribute. She stabbed at him with a knife. He struggled and did his best against her, but the fight was short. The female tribute won, leaving the boy to die in the dirt.

"I'm not sure what I would thought would happen. But I guess I hoped that the boy would do something, anything, to show that girl back home that even after he died, he would still be with her. He didn't do anything. Just lay there dying. I was very disappointed that day. I vowed to myself that I would never do that to anyone I cared about. That I would always be by their sides and remember them forever.

"Now I realize that the boy might have still been thinking about her, he just might have been too weak to show it. But how can I know for sure? Still, I hold that promise I made true. I will never leave your side, Ayla."

It's like he read my thoughts.

When Nat was telling the story, I had buried my face back against his chest. Now I bring it back up, blinking hard, and whisper, "That's actually exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you." My throat is thick and the words come out kind of garbled sounding, but thankfully the teardrops haven't pooled over yet.

With unsaid agreement, we both let go of each other and sit down on the couch. I'm afraid to sit too close to him, despite how badly I want to curl up by his side. I've never told him how I feel.

Nat and I have never gone past the best friends stage. I don't know if that's because we've both been too scared to admit it or the unbearable idea that he doesn't feel what I feel. I sense a pinch in my chest at the thought of the latter. But, quoting Nat's previous words, how can I know for sure? I've never said anything or done anything to show him, so how can I know that he doesn't feel the same way? That he doesn't get butterflies in his stomach when he sees me, that his breathing doesn't speed up when I'm near? And this might be my last chance to find out.

With a sudden bout of courage, I begin, "Nat, I—"

But the Peacekeepers start to open the door. Nat cuts me off and rushes to say with his voice cracking in several places, "Just— just come home. That's all I want, all you want. You will come home. I know you will." Then he kisses my head, as if I am a little girl, before the Peacekeepers show him out.

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-Tasting Raindrops-