So, How is everyone? It's been about two weeks, and now I've finally posted a chapter. Whew. This chapter is the first "episode" that a fictional character has with the modern world. These hilarious "episodes" will become more frequent as the plot moves along, so if you love Jacks little escapade here, there's a whole lot more funny coming your way!

But for now, I present to you...

A Teenager's Guide to Living with Pirates

Chapter 7

3rd POV

Bang! Bang! Bang! It was the sound of fist on wood that woke Jack up, but he was still only half awake. He sat up on the mattress and stretched, but winced as he realized his entire arm was asleep from sleeping on top of it. As he stretched, he heard a few cracks in his limbs that also made him wince. "I am never sleeping on that sad excuse for a mattress ever again." He said quietly to himself.

It was a few minutes of groping around in the darkness before he found what might be a string hanging down from the light on the ceiling, except it was close to the wall. "How did this get over here?" He wondered a loud as he gave the string a sound tug. When he let go, there was a loud bustle of a bunch of pieces of hard wooden material shot up. With the blinds rolled up, bright sunlight streamed through the window. He squinted at the sudden bright light for a few moments before tugging at the string again and bringing the blinds halfway down. Satisfied at the height, he let go of the string and turned away. "Now, where's my hat?"

The bright light from the window streamed down onto exactly the spot where his hat was on the floor. He smiled and picked up his hat and dusted it off. He turned back to the window to give the inanimate object a polite "thank you" for its help in finding his hat, when the bright light once again almost blinded him. Surprised, he dropped his hat.

The blinds were back up, and sunlight once again streamed in. "How did that happen?" He asked aloud. Jack walked over to the blinds and pulled at the string again, putting the blinds halfway down so they wouldn't blind him again. He turned back around to go fetch his dropped hat when he heard the blinds shoot back up. Annoyed, he turned back around, blocking the light with his hand.

"Now, Window," He addressed the window, "Dear, dear, friend Window. It would be ever so kind of you to please," He pulled the blinds back to halfway, "please stay where you are. I really don't want to go nuts about this. Just stay where you are…" He backed away from the blinds slowly, and at first it seemed that they would stay put, when wham! The sunlight lashed at his eyes almost mockingly. He clenched his fists, grit his teeth. "Alright. Now I'm angry." He tugged down the blinds violently and they almost touched the floor, and then he let go, and they shot back up.

"No more nice Jack. I will tear up your bones, Window." He tugged down at them, and again they shot back up. Again and again this happened until finally Jack go the idea in his head that if he held the string of the blinds under his foot, he could grab his hat and put it on with his free hands, then make a run for the door and escape before the blinds were totally up. It was an ingenious plan. He put the string under his foot and grabbed his hat. He put the hat securely on his head, and prepared himself for the dash to the door. He knelt down in a running position, careful not to remove his foot from the string, and counted off in his head, 3…2…1…

He tried to run for the door, but had failed to realize that the string wasn't a single string, but a loop. When he removed his foot from the front part of the loop, it sprung up with the force of the blinds trying desperately to open, and Jack's foot was caught in the loop. He tripped and fell to the ground with a loud thump! Grumbling, he got himself sitting up and began to try to untangle his foot.

Will had been awoken by the loud thump, and, groggily, tried to see what was going on. As his eyes focused, he saw Jack hunched near the window fiddling with his boot. Silently, Will got out of bed and walked slowly over to Jack. He looked over Jack's shoulder and his head was almost leaning against the window when he said, "Jack… what are you doing?"

Startled, Jack flinched. Unfortunately for Will, it was at that moment that the evil blinds decided to free themselves from Jack's foot. The blinds shot back up, and Will's head was exactly in the wrong place. The hard, wooden blinds shot up with such a force, and Will's head was just in such a place, that the blinds hit him square on the forehead, and knocked him out cold. He fell backwards onto the carpeted floor, unconscious.

Jack looked over his shoulder at the unconscious Will, muttered an almost silent but strangely guiltless "Oops," and turned his attention back to the bigger problem; the sunlight streaming down on him and the evil window that was responsible.

A new plan formed in Jack's mind. There was a big wardrobe-like thing next to the window. If he brought the blinds down low enough, he could tie the string to the leg of the wardrobe and leave to explore the house freely.

Jack tugged the blinds down with all his might, and finally got them down low enough. He tied the string to the leg of the wardrobe, double-knotted it just in case. He straightened his hat, and, pleased with his work (and ignoring unconscious Will), walked out of the room with a proud smile on his face.

It was on his way out that he discovered a door in the hallway that he hadn't noticed before. There was a small button on the door handle. Eager to explore, and utterly curious, he opened the door. He made sure to press the button on the handle outside the door. He would not only find out what the room was, but also what that button was for.

As he closed the door he heard a small click, but chose to ignore it. There was a light switch on the inside and he flipped it. What he saw was something he had never seen before.

It was a small room. Only about three or four feet in both length and width. But there was fabric. Everywhere. There was bright fabric, dark fabric, metallic fabric, textured fabric. Every type you could imagine. Or at least that he could. And the fabric was made into peculiar designs, some of them remotely resembled clothing as he knew it. "I wonder what this room is? I suppose I'll ask one of those little weird girls." He said to himself. He was about to walk out of the strange room, was twisting the door handle when he realized what that little button on the outside of the door was. The door handle wouldn't turn. The little button was a lock. He had locked himself in.

Once again, Jack uttered a quiet, but this time nervous, "Oops."

Leah

I climbed the stairs as Julie yammered on her cell phone. She was talking to the guys (they were all hanging out at Mark's house), and it was obvious she was telling them as little as possible. "Yea… just get your butts off the couch and get over here… yes… it's an EMERGENCY!... bye!"

At the top of the stairs, I called down to Julie, "Don't you think that's a little misleading?"

"Nah! It'll get them here, at least!" Was her only response.

Now, we weren't yelling to each other over the loud talking in the kitchen. Mostly because there was no loud talking in the kitchen. Sure, everyone knew each other, but they weren't buddy-buddy or anything. At least the dead silence in the kitchen earlier had improved to mumbling. That was a start.

I looked in the rooms as I passed, curious as to what shape they were left in. It was predictable.

Every bed that had housed one of the pirate men were ridiculously messy. The girl's beds were ok.

I was looking into my room for a minute before I heard a moan from the other room. Worried, I dashed into the guest bedroom that Jack and Will were SUPPOSED to be in, but there was only Will, clutching his head and looking around as if he just woke up. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Just peachy." He mumbled as he stood up tentatively, wobbling a little. Had it been anyone else, I probably would have rushed to their side. Instead I stood there awkwardly and stupidly. "Where's Jack?" He asked, after making a sidelong glance at the window. The blinds on the window were tied to the leg of the wardrobe. Weird.

So where was Jack?

Violent banging could be heard from the hallway. "I'm in this bloody closet, you idiots!"

"I guess we have to get Jack to come out of the closet." I grinned.

The guys bust in at the exact moment Will, Jack, and I reached the bottom of the stairs. Mark was in front, Brett and Jeremy behind him. They were all in weird karate poses. "WHERE'S THE EMERGENCY?"

All fictional characters in the room looked at them as if they were insane. Julie, Sam, and I grinned.

The guys' jaws dropped to the floor. "Oh my God…"

And that's chapter seven! What did you think? Review! Tell me if you have suggestions for more funnies, expectations for upcoming chapters, loved this chapter, or if you just want the next chappie!

-F8tey