As she stalked through Denerim, Elissa was aware of little but the jumbled emotions that made her stomach churn. The initial anger faded to be replaced by tears that she refused to let fall, and they gave way to a deep weariness. She wanted the comfort of warm sheets and pillows, and Conobar curled up nearby. Her wish was delayed by several wrong turns, her inattention taking her to an area of the city she had never visited before. Tears of frustration burning her eyes, she retraced her steps almost all the way back to The Pearl before she recognised her surroundings. By the time she reached the palace the day's first light was beginning to streak the sky. Clearly she would be absent from the queen's chambers for another day, but today she would not send word to explain her failure to attend to her duties. There was no need; Loghain would almost certainly tell his daughter everything that had passed during the night.

When she finally let herself into their dimly lit bedroom Loghain was not there, and she could not decide whether to be grateful or furious that he had stayed away . Conobar, however, was there to greet her. He nudged anxiously at her hand, sensing her mood and seeking assurance that she was unhurt. She unbuckled her armour with fumbling fingers, stacking it in an untidy pile on the floor. It was an unforgiveable way to treat her best set of amour but at the moment she could not muster the energy it would take to put it in its proper place.

Forgoing her nightdress, she crawled into bed in just her smallclothes. Years before, Conobar had been forbidden from ever sleeping on his mistress's bed by a horrified Nan. Tonight he was worried enough to break that long held restriction, jumping up on the mattress to lie at Elissa's side. She tried to murmur something soothing but her words emerged as an incoherent jumble. The constant anxiety of the last two days, not to mention her trip to one of Denerim's less than reputable establishments, had taken its toll on her. Despite the furious confrontation with Loghain and the new concerns that now weighed her down, within moments Elissa sank into a deep, thankfully dreamless, sleep.

She was woken hours later by the quiet click of the door closing. Cracking an eye, she saw that someone had left her a steaming tub of water and a plate of food. She wanted to cocoon herself in the warm blankets and retreat back into sleep, but the smell of freshly cooked meat made her stomach clench with hunger. Grumbling about her own lack of restraint, she rolled out of bed and winced as her feet hit the cold flagstones. She didn't bother to dress, diving straight for the food. It was a meat pie, normally far too heavy for her taste but now just what she needed after two days of only picking at her food. She ate it standing in her smallclothes, licking up the gravy that dripped from the pastry and burned her fingers. She saved the crusts for Conobar and it was only when she turned to give them to him that she realised he was gone. She hoped that it was a servant and not Loghain who had taken him. With how she felt towards her husband at the moment, her faithful mabari was likely to take a large chunk of flesh out of his hand.

Shedding her undergarments, she stepped into the blissfully hot bath. Small shivers worked their way up her spine as she allowed herself to sink beneath the water. She reached for the glass bottles that had been left on the floor and found sweetly scented lotions for her hair and skin. She poured some into her hands and massaged it into her scalp, allowing the fragrance and warm water to ease the rigid tension of her muscles. As long as she lathered and rinsed, her mind remained pleasantly blank. When she allowed her head to rest against the rim of the tub, sodden hair trailing drips over the floor, she couldn't prevent her thoughts from turning to the night's events. She didn't want to think about it but her thoughts invariably returned to it, like a child prodding a scab.

After all she had risked to protect him, Loghain had stormed out of the palace to hurl terrible accusations at her. Admittedly he hadn't known about the letter and her endeavours to retrieve it, but she was appalled he thought it conceivable that she would feign illness to be unfaithful to him. A word from one of his men was all it had taken to convince him to think the worst of her. She was surprised and more than a little angry that, after how he had deceived her, his lack of trust could hurt her so much.

She stood abruptly, slopping water onto the floor. She couldn't sit still a moment longer or she would fall into moping. Instead she would dress and spend the afternoon reading in the hope that it would keep her mind occupied. A small voice argued that hiding in her room all day was dangerously close to sulking, but she ignored it. She had done enough for the Mac Tirs; they could let her rest.

No sooner had she donned a gown than there was a knock at the door. She froze, irrationally anxious that it might be Loghain. But that was ridiculous: even if he felt contrite, he would not knock to be let into his own room. When she opened the door, what she found was a bigger surprise than a cowed Loghain.

"May I come in?" asked Anora.

Elissa blinked stupidly for a moment before coming to her senses. "Of course, your Majesty." Anora entered and refused the seat that was offered to her, though she insisted that Elissa sit.

Anora waited long enough to exchange the smallest of pleasantries before coming to the true purpose of her visit. "My father informs me that I have much to thank you for," she said abruptly.

Elissa sat back, startled by both the sudden change in topic and Anora thanking her. She had assumed that Loghain would confide in Anora, but she hadn't expected that what he said would earn her the queen's gratitude. "That is a surprise, your Majesty. Last time we spoke he was not at all pleased with me."

"He has not told me all of what happened. In truth, I believe even he does not know as much as he would like. But he is certain that you have prevented a..." Anora frowned, searching for a polite way to describe a wretched situation, "a delicate matter from becoming widely known. Is that true?"

"It is."

"Then I owe you my thanks."

She decided to take a gamble, hoping that Anora's gratitude would extend to a reward."If you truly wish to thank me, your Majesty, may I ask a boon?"

"Of course. Speak your wish," said Anora immediately, as if she had been waiting for the request. It occurred to Elissa that as queen she must hear such requests frequently, and was probably more comfortable on this familiar ground. It could not be easy for her to feel indebted to a woman she considered a threat.

The queen probably expected her to ask for a show of favour or the advancement of a pet cause, but her request was more unusual. Meeting Anora's eyes she said with as much calm authority as she could muster, "An honest conversation."

Anora's lips twitched. "I'm sure the foundations of the palace would not crumble if we were to speak freely."

"Good." She took a steadying breath and, before sense could silence her, said in a rush, "Then I need you to understand that I have no designs on Cailan. I do not wish to ensnare him and win a crown."

"Perhaps you're sincere now but you are very young, Elissa." Elissa couldn't help but gawp incredulously at this. After all, Anora was not much older than her. Anora either didn't notice or chose to ignore it."In time your wishes may change."

"With respect, your Majesty, I have always known my place in the world and what I could aspire to if I wished it. I never have." It was true that she had never sought Cailan, but a few months ago it had not been beyond the realms of possibility that she would marry into a royal family outside of the kingdom. With Cailan married and possessing no children or siblings, marriage to one of the powerful and popular Couslands would have been the best way to form an alliance with Ferelden. If she placed ambition above all else – her love for her family and her native land – she would have persuaded her parents to seek a royal match years ago.

"Your parents thought differently," Anora returned.

"Being childless I am admittedly no expert, but it seems plain to me that parents will do extraordinary things if it benefits their children." She paused, taking in the sight of the almost imperceptible blush on Anora's cheeks and the downward cast of her eyes. "I'm right, aren't I?" she said softly. "That's why Loghain married me – to protect you."

Frowning, Anora shook her head. It was not a denial of Elissa's accusation but disapproval that she had raised the topic. "That is a conversation you should have with my father."

"I intend to. But, as you can see, he is not here at present so I am asking you." She was seriously overstepping the boundaries of propriety and courtesy but she could not stop herself. For weeks now those closest to her had kept her in the dark, and she would not be denied answers now that someone capable of providing them was standing before her.

Anora stared at her, looking as discomfited as Elissa had ever seen her. She was reluctant to relinquish the information, perhaps because she didn't want to reveal the extent of their scheming or maybe because she found politics far more complicated when polluted with matters of the heart. Elissa was on the verge of assuring her that she wouldn't dissolve into tears when Anora said, "It was a factor, certainly."

Elissa almost cringed. It seemed that even when she thought she had grown used to an idea, having it confirmed had the power to cause fresh hurt. "Thank you," she said quietly, hoping that none of what she felt showed on her face.

If she had not been able to conceal her pain, neither could Anora mask the surprise in her voice."I did not think that you would be grateful for such knowledge."

"I'm not," she said bluntly. "But I appreciate your honesty."

Anora nodded. "It is refreshing to speak candidly from time to time." Her eyes flicked towards the door. It was only a fleeting glance but Elissa caught the gesture and rose to see the queen out, sensing that Anora had reached her limited for unguarded conversation for the day. As she was escorted to the door, Anora said, "Perhaps you could attend me tomorrow?"

"I would be glad to, if you wish it."

"I do."

At the door she paused and, with hard eyes and mouth set determinedly, turned to face Elissa. "Remember this: I did not want you here, Elissa." The unprompted confession was made without a sign of shame or embarrassment. She did not flush or look away, instead meeting Elissa's eyes steadily. "I wanted you safely hidden at Gwaren. Even though I was furious and all but forbade it in my letters, my father still invited you here. That is an honour my mother was not afforded in all their years of marriage." She was not quite able to prevent a small note of bitterness from creeping into her voice. Her father might be willing to sacrifice much for her, but it seemed that there were some things she could not forgive. Smiling sadly, she nodded to Elissa and took her leave.

The queen gone, she picked up a book at random and resumed her seat. After reading the same sentence a dozen times she was forced to accept that she wouldn't be able to concentrate. Since reading Fergus's letter she had thought that Loghain has asked her to the palace with Anora's approval, if not on her orders. It seemed that instead he had acted against her express wishes. While that knowledge didn't ease the hurt of her brother's revelation, it certainly gave her something to think about. Unless his motives were too obscure for her to decipher, perhaps Loghain had invited her to Denerim because he genuinely wished her to accompany him.

She did not have long to ponder the prospect before she was interrupted again. The door opened to reveal Loghain standing rigidly at the threshold of the room, watching her closely. She resisted the urge to look away, hating that he could make her feel anxious when she had done nothing wrong. Finally he moved properly into the room to stand in front of her chair. She closed her book slowly and set it down in her lap.

"I was mistaken last night," he began.

"That is something of an understatement," she replied. She tried to keep her voice light but she could not prevent some of her ire from seeping into her tone.

"I am sorry for it," he said immediately, and her eyes widened at the so freely given apology. Before she could even open her mouth to respond, however, he continued, "You must see how easily the mistake was made."

She narrowed her eyes, any charitable feelings towards him beginning to vanish. "I see that you had more faith in the word of one of your men than in me."

"That is unfair."

"Last night you threw me into an alley and accused me of hiring prostitutes," she spat. "I would say you're a poor judge of what is fair."

They both fell silent, eyeing each other warily. It was Loghain who, apparently unable to deny his need to know everything that had passed in The Pearl, finally said, "I would like to know what happened last night."

She toyed with the idea of refusing him, of putting him in her position and allowing him to experience a few days of relentless doubt and worry. The thought that it could cause her as much trouble as Loghain's secret had was enough to deter her. Instead she reluctantly recounted the story of the theft of her letter by Adelaide and her efforts to recover it that eventually led her to The Pearl. As her account unfolded Loghain grew steadily more agitated, pacing beside the fire. When she told him about the deal she had struck with Sanga, he could contain himself no longer. "Maker's blood!" he cursed. "What were you thinking, going to that place? Do you have no idea how dangerous it was?"

"I am more than capable of defending myself!" she replied heatedly.

"I am not speaking of physical danger, though Maker knows how many unwary nobles have fallen afoul of that place's clients. I meant the scandal you could have caused. You are part of the most powerful family in the kingdom now. Do you have any idea of the damage it would have caused if you were recognised?"

"Me?" she cried. "My parents and Arl Eamon schemed to marry me to Cailan, and you and Anora conspired to put me permanently beyond his reach. All I have done is try to keep the sordid affair secret, yet I am somehow in the wrong."

"I am not questioning your intentions. You were commendably loyal to people who could hardly seemed to have deserved it. But I take issue with how you did it. You were rash, very rash, running off to a brothel in the middle of the night."

"What was I supposed to do?" she demanded.

"You could have come to me and we would have found a way to solve the problem together," he said through gritted teeth, as if at the limits of his patience. "I have contacts in the city, people who could have retrieved the letter secretly without having to bargain with madams."

"Do you have no feelings at all? Is all you think of strategy and politics? After everything I had learned, after discovering I was little more than a burden you saddled yourself with for Anora's sake, how could I ever have gone to you?"

He paled at her accusations, flinching minutely as if she had slapped him. "So you would sacrifice this family's reputation for the sake of your wounded pride?" he seethed.

"My pride," she repeated quietly. "Do you honestly believe it was my pride that was injured?" It was a lie to deny that her pride had taken a blow, but it was not the prospect of cruel court gossips that hurt her the most. "I thought you were beginning to care about me, Loghain. I could not talk to you about the very thing that disabused me of that notion."

She turned away, arms wrapped in a protective barrier around her waist. It seemed ridiculous to care so much about something that was meant to be trivial. Noble marriages were about politics and power, a fact that her parents had gently prepared her for from a young age. Her admission felt like a confession of guilt or failure, and left her feeling more vulnerable than she would like to admit.

"I didn't..." began Loghain, but he seemed at a loss for how to finish the sentence. After an almost unbearably long silence Elissa heard the rustle of fabric behind her. When Loghain still said nothing she turned and risked a glance at him to find he was patiently holding a box out to her. "I commissioned this before we came to Denerim," he explained. "I had intended it as a late wedding present, but it seems a fitting way to make my apology."

She glared at him pointedly, hoping he knew her at least well enough to realise that he would not win her favour with gifts. He continued to hold the box out to her, steadily meeting her frosty gaze. Finally she gave in and reluctantly took it. She held the box in the palm of her hand, eyeing it warily. It seemed to her that all this trouble had started with the arrival of a jewellery box, and she wondered whether the contents of this one would wreak as much havoc. But she couldn't stand there all night gawping at the thing. She opened the lid a crack, just enough to see the glimmer of silver inside. Opening it properly, she found a delicate chain. Her eyes widened as they fell on the pendant: the wyvern of Gwaren rearing against the Cousland laurel wreath. The heraldic devices of noble families were almost never combined. Her mother and Oriana were nobles before they married but their heraldry was nowhere to be found at Highever.

"This is mine," he said quietly.

She had been too distracted earlier to notice the new ring he wore. Like her necklace it bore their combined devices. It certainly wasn't as large or bold as hers, but it was a clear declaration of loyalty and a sign of respect. She reached for the necklace but he gently took the box from her hands.

"I don't think you should wear it yet."

"Why not?" she asked warily, unconsciously backing away from him. "You wear yours."

"You have more than proved your loyalty to Gwaren and the crown. To me. I might disagree with how you did it, but I can be proud to wear your emblem. You have been given no such reason to wear mine. When you have, the necklace will be waiting for you."

For the first time all day she was at a loss for words. It was no ordinary thing for a noble to wear another house's heraldry, particularly when they were as powerful and proud as Loghain. Had he chosen the Highever heraldry it would not have touched her so deeply. That might imply some claim on her family's land, a signal of his ambition. But to wear the Cousland coat of arms so openly was a sign of great respect and attachment to her family. Just as amazing, he had admitted that she had proved herself a valuable partner where he had not. "Loghain, that is... almost romantic," she said with quiet astonishment.

He almost smirked. "I trust you will not share my sentiments with half the palace."

"I will make a deal with you: I won't tell everyone of your romantic inclinations if you don't speak of my trip to the brothel."

"An acceptable bargain."

"I am glad you think so."

"And what of this?" He tapped a long finger against the box. "Is this also an acceptable deal?"

It was not all that she wanted, or perhaps even needed. Last night had confirmed something she had long known: she did things wholeheartedly. Before her wedding day she had accepted that she was marrying for convenience and not love. It was the fate of most nobles, after all. For those graced with good fortune, like her parents, an arranged match could turn into a long standing partnership based on love and respect. She had his respect, that much was clear, but she could not be happy forever without tenderness. Until it could be built between them, however, she could be content.

Taking his hand, Elissa kissed the ring that bore the heraldry of her kin."For now," she said softly.