Hey everyone! I'm back with another chapter of ATGTLWP and it's better than ever!!! I know it seems I've been very slow with updates, but you people better get used to it, because not only am I super lazy, but I also have two fanfictions going on at the SAME TIME. So on the off-chapters for this fanfiction, be sure to check out "Cedric Diggory Didn't Die, he became Edward Cullen"! Also, when I do post chapters for this fanfic, I'm gonna try to make them longer than they used to be. So I'm hoping it will all even out.

I'm not going to stall you any longer, here is:

A Teenager's Guide to Living with Pirates

Chapter 10

3rd POV

Melissa Thurn looked up from her table at the food court, her eyes gazing across the area at the respectful and not-so-respectful people eating there. She noted that most of the people near the Chick-fil-a stand were eating chicken, drowned in mustard and ketchup, with their hands. She also watched, disgusted, as one man wiped his red and yellow hands on his once white Abercrombie shirt. She had to turn away, ashamed at the blatant disrespect at such high-standard clothing.

She also saw that the people at the noodle restaurant were not using their fingers to eat, and wiping their hands on napkins. "Let's go there!" she exclaimed to Brittany and Ginger, pointing at the noodle restaurant. They nodded.

As they waited in line in between a gross balding man and a woman with a squealing child, Melissa realized that she hated everything and everyone at the mall, except the shopping element. That was addictive.

"Wow. Who the freak is that?! Ya know, standing next Brett and Julie…"

Melissa looked over to a big group of people, of varying ages, walking into the food court. There was the enemy crowd: Julie, Brett, and their dumbass friends. But there were also other people, and definitely not people that went to their school. Older people, but not parents. They couldn't be relatives, either, because why would they get together as friends when they are with family?

Something else that wasn't quite right; they all were wearing hats and sunglasses.

Of course, at the mall, this wasn't a strange occurrence. Sketchy people are as obvious as trash cans at the mall. Except sketchy people didn't travel in groups, especially not a huge one like this. What was going on?

…

The group had rejoined at the food court for lunch. Leah realized they had succeeded in making everyone look bland and unimportant. She was very pleased. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the pirates.

"I feel naked." Norrington mumbled as he walked around with the group.

Brett gave him a queer look. "You're not naked."

"I'm only wearing undergarments. I feel ridiculous!" He looked around the room at the other people. "Then again, everyone else doesn't seem much better."

"Look, its summer. And in America, that means that men wear shorts and t-shirts and watch women walk around in bikinis. Suck it up." Brett whispered so as to not let Julie hear him.

Meanwhile, Barbossa found people giving him strange looks. The reason? He was trembling with fear as a teenage girl tried to comfort him.

"It's alright. I'm sure he's fine." Julie said, sincerely. "He's probably just…um…waiting for you to come home?"

"But poor Jack is out there… alone… with no one to hold him…"

"He'll be fine."

"HE'S JUST A POOR, DEFENSLESS MONKEY!"

At the same time, Leah was walking around with Sam, deciding on what would make the most sense to eat for lunch. "McDonalds is cheap, but I love Mr. Newdle." She motioned to the noodle restaurant.

"Eww." Sam said while looking at the restaurant.

"What? It's good food! Besides, have you ever even tried their Mac n' Cheese? It's got FIVE cheeses!" Leah said, defensively.

"No, not the food! The costumers!"

"Huh?" Then Leah looked over to the restaurant. There was Melissa, glaring at them. "McNuggets it is, then." Leah said, a little disappointed. "Its alright. We couldn't afford pasta anyway…"

…

They were finally all seated at five tables lined up in a row. Sam was off at the McDonalds stand.

Leah was sitting at the table with everyone, but while everyone else was chatting mindlessly, she was deep in thought. See, Leah was the only fangirl of her group of friends who really focused on the "what ifs". What if Elizabeth chose Jack? What if Captain Barbossa never existed? What if Tia Dalma's crabs were green?

And most importantly: What if these characters could quote other movies they'd been in?

It was a reasonable hypothesis, to think that Captain Jack Sparrow could subconsciously quote Edward Scissorhands or something. So, she decided to try it.

Meanwhile, Sam showed up with the food. She had lots of milkshakes, a few Big Macs, and a TON of chicken McNuggets. As in, enough to feed one person for about a month. Leah looked over to the workers at McDonalds, and she swore she could see one of them wipe a bead of sweat off their forehead, thoroughly exhausted after such a monstrous order.

Sam looked down and gave a sigh of relief as she was able to set down the multiple trays. She had gotten everybody's attention with the food, so she began a quiet speech, so as to not let anyone else hear. "Though one of the most unhealthy restaurants on the planet due to it's extreme use of sodium for preservatives and taste, McDonalds has food that cannot be surpassed. It's the kind of fast-food delicacy that people who want to stay even moderately healthy only splurge on maybe once or twice a year. I want you all to enjoy your first tastes of American fast-food, and eat as much as you could possibly want, but savor it, because there is no way in hell I am buying this junk food ever again. Got it?"

"Aye." The pirates chorused.

Every pirate immediately grabbed a plate of this curious "delicacy", piling up to 20 McNuggets before taking their seats. Leah ended up sitting next to Jack and Will. Perfect, she thought, let the experimenting begin!

Now of course, she was going to start off with something easy, maybe something from Willy Wonka. But when she sat down and took a bite into her chicken nugget, she was saved the trouble.

"What is that?" Jack asked, disgusted.

Leah grinned and evil grin as she slowly and quietly sang. "… It's priest. Have a little priest…"

Jack sniffed the nugget and spoke, "Gross… is it really good?"

"Why it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh."

"Umm…why are you singing?" Will asked, confused, but he was ignored as Jack bit into a nugget… and then promptly spit it back out.

"Awful lot of fat…" he spoke again.

"Only where it sat."

Jack grinned, deciding to play into Leah's little weird game. He thought he was making a witty joke when he sang on Leah's tune, "Haven't you got poet…or…" He thought, trying to come up with a rhyme. Bat? No. Cat? Uh-uh. "something like that?" There's the one!

"Well, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased? Try the priest."

Will laughed at the song, while Jack grinned and spoke, "Are you serious?"

"No." Leah grinned.

"Well then what is this stuff made of?" Jack asked.

"Well you know how the good parts of Chicken are the chicken leg and chicken breast?" She asked them. They nodded. "Well, this is basically everything else."

Everyone within earshot erupted in laughter.

Leah decided to put in another trial, since the first had been so successful. "Poor chicken. Most have seen too many winters." She sighed.

Will cut into a piece of chicken, and it practically melted on his plate. "Or too few." He replied.

Leah laughed in delight.

It was when Jack and Will turned competitive that things really got quote-y.

"Ah, Will, two already?" Jack grinned as he swallowed another chicken nugget.

Will thought for a moment. "I'm on seventeen."

"Huh? I won't have a blacksmith out-eating me!" Jack ate another nugget.

Will ate two more. "Nineteen."

"How do you eat so much?"

"Very carefully."

"Ahh…" Jack looked away.

Will shook his head and whispered to Leah, "Four? Nineteen? What's the difference, anyway?" She grinned.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Brett and Jeremy were whispering quietly, making glances to Melissa on the other side of the room every once in awhile.

"Dude, this is really bad." Brett muttered, swearing, and doing his best to hide himself.

"Yea, I know. You've got your hot new girlfriend and your hot old girlfriend about to fight over you. I feel your pain." Jeremy mumbled sarcastically.

"Hey! It's not my fault I have unbelievably good looks!"

"Unbelievable, yes. But good..?"

"Oh, quit it! Just tell me what to do! Melissa's super jealous and Julie hates it when Melissa's around me and I don't want to hurt either of them!" Brett, you see, had only recently deserted the popular crowd for Julie. He had been Melissa's boyfriend for… ever, but he never really liked her. She was just a really good kisser. So now, when he really liked Julie but Melissa kept hovering in the background, he truly had absolutely no idea what to do. Also, Jeremy wasn't much help.

Someone poked him on the shoulder. As he turned, he realized it was Barbossa (recovered from his monkey fears). "What do you want?" He asked the pirate captain.

"To offer some lady advice. You love her, correct?" Barbossa motioned to Julie. Brett nodded. "But, you used to love her and she still loves you." He said, motioning to Melissa, who was beginning to walk toward their table. Brett nodded, and gulped at Melissa's evil glint in her eyes. Barbossa thought, then spoke, "My advice? Run."

Brett took this advice to heart and ran as fast as he could towards the bathrooms.

"You know that this will only come back to haunt him. He'll have to face his fears." Tia Dalma said, ominously.

"You're probably right." Jeremy agreed. "That's his problem." He shrugged as he bit into a cheeseburger.

…

Melissa walked over to the table, strutting, a bit. All talking at or around the large group's table quieted, and heads turned to her.

"Hello, Melissa, it's so nice to see you." Leah said coldly as she stood. "Did you enjoy the party last night?"

"Yes, Leah, thanks for inviting me. I was wondering who showed up that was so important that you had to end the party. Who are your friends?" She asked, motioning to the pirates.

"Um… These are family friends from, uh, England. They came as a surprise, and, well, my parents really had to leave so I'm taking care of us." Leah said quickly. Anamaria stood, coming to her rescue.

"It's nice to meet you, Melissa. I'm… er… Maria." They shook hands. "Are you a friend of Leah's?"

"Yes, I like to think that. It's nice to meet you." Melissa said, curtly. She then turned to Leah, "I'm guessing these are the mystery people Julie was talking about when shooing the party away?" Julie frowned at Melissa. "Oh my God, what a let down. Julie left us thinking you had actually scored a boyfriend! Oh well, no difference, really. Anyway, have you seen Brett around? I thought I saw him with you guys."

"Yea, Brett was here, but he left as soon as you and your superficial blondies showed up." Julie hissed, glaring at Melissa.

"He left you guys to find us? Ok, I'll go find him." Melissa said coldly, beginning to walk away.

Jack stood, prepared to defend Julie with a witty comeback. "Actually, he left the mall. He was afraid he would be turned to stone if he looked into your eyes- I must say, you have a striking resemblance to Medusa." Melissa glared daggers into the pirate as he said, "Same hair, really!"

Melissa stepped forward and shoved the laughing pirate back into his seat. Everyone else at the table who had recovered from shock glared at the girl as she said, "Shut up, old man." She turned to Julie, whose jaw was on the floor, and said, "You know, since Leah's party ended so early, maybe you should throw another. Although, I'm sure it won't be as cool as anything I could have created, I see the potential! With such a… wide range of people attending, it could be the party of the year!" Melissa said with false enthusiasm, turning the heads of some teenagers in the mall.

Sam stood up behind Julie, and yelled at Melissa, "You know, Melissa, you can just take your parties and-"

"I'd love to throw a party. It'd be fun." Julie said, interrupting Sam and still glaring at Melissa.

"You don't have to do this, Julie, she's just baiting you…" Sam said quietly to Julie.

"You know, this party needs a theme!" Melissa yelled around to the teenagers now watching the scene.

Shouting of suggestions erupted from around the crowded food court.

"A Masquerade Ball. Everybody wear masks." Julie said quietly, sitting back at the table and biting into a nugget.

"I'll look out for my invitation." Melissa said, smirking, as she walked away back to Brittany and Ginger, leaving the whole crew of pirates and teens dumbfounded.

And there it is! Why did Julie accept the challenge? Find out (probably) in the next chapter of ATGTLWP!!!

Now, other things to worry about: Be sure to check out the British TV show; Merlin (or, if you live around England, i think it's "The Adventures of Merlin")! It's a great TV show with good effects, great, funny characters, hot actors, the whole nine yards! You can scour Youtube to find it, but buying the first season on iTunes is totally worth it. It's a great show.

Also, I know it's a little early but I've got to start planning the rest of the "A Teenager's Guide to:" series, so I know where to go with this one. I have a poll up on my profile about this. Be sure to check it out!

For the reviews: Can you tell what the quotes in this chapter were from? There were three quotes, from two movies, one of which I haven't even seen, lol.

REVIEW!!!

-F8WUZL8