Happy Friday everyone! I hope everyone's week was a good one and I'm sure you are ready for the weekend! This chapter is a week late…sorry for the delay! This chapter is also a little shorter than the other chapters but a lot happens!
To cmoody74…I love you and I am writing this because of your encouragement. This is also a belated bday present, since you will have time to read it this weekend!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. © badkfare 2011
Enjoy and I will see you down below!
EPOV – July 2009
I wanted to kill every bird that made a noise. My head throbbed and my stomach was revolting against me. Light, noise, physical contact hurt me so much that I literally wanted to die. How can people do this on a regular basis? I tried to move to sit up and I had to lie back down. I want to die.
"EDWARD!"
Scratch that; now I want to die.
"EDWARD GET UP! WE ARE GOING HIKING. IT IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!" Alice's shrill voice fills the tent at my head rings in pain.
"Shut up Alice. Please for the love of god lower your voice," I groan as I pull the pillow over my head.
"WHY? IS YOUR HEAD IN PAIN?"
"Oh my god shut up!" I throw my book at her as I listen to her groan in pain.
"Serves you right Edward Cullen for getting drunk last night; I hope your head explodes with stupidity," Alice hits me in the back before leaving the tent.
After a couple of minutes I lift the pillow off my head to look over at Emmett's spot. He's not there so either he's up already or he never came back. I sit up and wait for the nausea to subside. I get to my feet and I wobble back and forth. I take baby steps as I make my way outside. Alice and Jasper are gone but my dad is sitting at the table with a not too pleased look.
"How are you feeling?" his tone is serious as I take a seat across from him.
"Like the walking dead; everything hurts really bad," I put my head down on my arms.
"I don't think I have to tell you how I'm not only disappointed that you got drunk but that you did it because you are hurting. Now I have talked to your mom and from what I understand this can all be solved with a conversation. Edward I have never given my two cents when it comes to your relationship but if this is how you plan on dealing with your problems I think it's time for a break."
"Dad please can we talk about this when I don't feel like shooting myself?"
"No I don't think we can. I mean it Edward your mother and I will not tolerate this behavior from you or your siblings. Now drink this," he hands me a glass along with two aspirin. I take the pills before taking a drink. "Eat your breakfast and then you can lie down. When the others return from hiking I expect you participate like a member of this family."
"Yes sir," my tone in vacant as I dig into my breakfast. My stomach isn't very happy with me but something about the greasy food helps the irritation. I finish as much as I can before cleaning off my plate. Dad doesn't say anything else to me as I make my way back to the tent.
I lie down and close my eyes hoping sleep takes me quickly. I am dozing off when the events of the night before hit me like a ton of bricks. OH HOLY CHRIST! I actually let Lauren fucking Mallory touch my body. Not only did I let her touch me but I did it out of anger. Oh my god Bella is going to kill me. No wait she's just not going to talk to me ever again and that will kill me. Can I say how much I hate alcohol right now?
What am I going to do?
X^X
I couldn't be happier when we finally pulled up to the house on Monday. I have never had such a miserable time camping before in my life. Per Carlisle instructions I engaged and interacted with the family for the rest of our time. I was finally able to talk to Emmett to find out how the rest of his evening went and according to him he didn't hook up with the blond; all they did was chat. I don't really believe him but I will take him at his word.
My anger finally subsided as my disgust with myself increased. I saw Lauren again before we left and the proud smile on her face alerted me to the fact that I was in deep shit. With my luck she will tell the whole town before I even have a chance to talk to Bella. Can I please find a hole in space time continuum to go back in time and erase all my stupid mistakes starting with taking off and not talking to Bella?
I help unload the car before climbing the stairs to my room. I have to wait for everyone else to shower before I can get in there so I enter my room. I am still feeling the effects of the booze as I sit on my bed. It's early, maybe I can call Bella and she can come over. I could go over there. I turn on my cell phone waiting for it to find a signal before reaching for the home phone when I see a note. It's her writing.
Edward
I can't even begin to understand what you are feeling right now. I am so sorry for what you saw today. I can tell right now that nothing happened between Jake and I and even though it looks bad I can assure you it isn't. Rosalie told me you guys went camping so I hope you were able to have fun and please call me when you get back.
I love you Edward.
Bella
I read her note two more times then drop my head. My cell phone beeps with an alert that I have a voicemail. I press one before entering my code. I have three messages. That's interesting since I never get calls except from…
"Hey Edward…," her voice is sad. "I left you a note and I'm sorry I…I'm sorry I was late getting over to your place. I know you're thinking the worst right now but please call me. I love you."
Message two.
"Hi Edward; Charlie said you called. Sorry I missed it but my dad bought me a car well a truck from Billy Black. It's a stick and I have no idea how to drive it so Jake was giving me a lesson," her voice is hesitant like maybe she shouldn't have said that. "I hope you guys are having a good time and I can't wait for you to get home. I love you Edward."
Message three.
"I know you're getting home today; in fact you might already be home. I just wanted to say that I missed you. I'm with Rosalie but I have my cell phone if you want to talk," she finishes in a whisper as if suddenly self conscious. "I know you have questions and I promise I will answer every one of them. I love you Edward."
I hang up the phone as I curl my knees to my chest to lie down in the fetal positions. Why didn't I trust her? I close my eyes as I hear Alice and Emmett in the hall. Emmett sounds like he's panicking as Alice tries to comfort him. I hear bits and pieces before Alice clearly says Rosalie. Rosalie? I close my eyes trying to tune them out.
Jasper; Rosalie, of course. I sit up and move to the door. I look between Alice and Emmett before running down the stairs. Bella is with Rosalie which means when Jasper gets picked up Bella will be here. I look out the window to see her red BMW. I pick up my pace and make it outside before Rose has a chance to pull away. I run up to the car as I look inside. No Bella.
"Sorry Edward but you're going to have to call her. Be prepared to feel like an ass for over reacting," Rosalie covers her biting tone with a saccharine smile before driving down the drive.
I need to think about what I'm going to say so I head back inside and climb the stairs to my room. I grab my cell phone and pull up Bella's number. I am too much of a chicken shit to call her so I text her.
Just got home and I know we need to talk. Call u tomorrow. E
I hit send before I can put too much thought into it. I didn't even realize how cold it sounded until I get her response.
Ok…I really am sorry Edward. 3 B
I want to say more but I can't so I crawl in bed and hope the answers will come to me in my sleep.
July 26th, 2009
I waited patiently for Edward to call me but all I got was a cold text message. My heart sinks as I type my response knowing that there is nothing I can do but wait and hope that I haven't pushed him so far away he can't find his way back. After telling Rose what happened she verbally explains in explicit detail what an idiot I am. I love her but sometimes her honesty is quite excruciating.
Rose was able to bring some outside perspective that helped me see that by trying to keep Edward in the dark I was only making the both of us miserable for no reason. In fact Rose told me that if Edward wasn't going to run after being stabbed and losing his memory that I was pretty safe to tell him about some silly nightmares. Scary when Jake and Rose are on the same page. Once we were finished I couldn't help but feel stupid for ever doubting Edward or those around me.
I felt a weight lifted off of me. For the first time I felt free of James and all the bullshit that happened. I know I still have to make amends with Alice and of course Edward but sitting with Rose, I don't feel as if it's an impossible task. I forgot how much I miss spending time with Rose. I can see that her road back is going to be a long one but she has more strength than she gives herself credit for.
I watch her drive away to pick up Jasper at the Cullen's and I immediately miss her. Even though I am dreading the talks I have to have, I smile remembering the first weekend of fun I have had in a while. It's nice to be a silly teenager without any cares. It's the way it should be.
^X^
I thought I would get to sleep in with Charlie at work and not being at the Cullen's but the banging on my front door at nine o'clock in the morning tells me I am in no such luck. I ignore it for a minute or two praying whoever it is will go away but today is not my day. I throw the covers off and make my way downstairs.
I open the door to see Alice standing on my front porch looking all small and innocent. I give her the stink eye before motioning her inside. I watch as she moves into the living room as the silence engulfs us. I wait for her to say something since she was the one trying to bang down my door but the pixie just stands looking anxious and awkward.
Well this is new.
"What can I do for you Alice?"
"You can stop torturing my brother," her tone is angry as she turns on me. At my look of confusion she continues. "This weekend was a complete disaster. I have no idea what happened between you two but I know this has you written all over it."
"Wow, tell me how you really feel," I turn my back and make my way to the kitchen with Alice in hot pursuit.
"Bella I'm serious. He was a complete wreck, what happened?" Her tone softens as her curiosity shines through. Ah, fishing expedition.
"Alice what happened between Edward and I is private. If you want to know, you're going to have ask him."
"Is that how it's going to be between us now? I thought I was your best friend."
I can hear the pain in her voice and it's hurt me to hear it but at the same time I can't help the anger boiling up in me.
"What do you want from me Alice? I mean I get that you're mad but from the moment you got home, all I get is the silent treatment and glares. I even stopped talking to Jazz to appease you. Best friends stick by one another not shut them out. So you tell me Alice, what do you want from me?"
The look of shock on her little face quickly gives way to tears. I want to comfort her but I can't move from my place by the counter. I listen to her cry for a few moments before she finds her composure.
"I'm sorry Bella. I needed someone to blame and you were just such an easy target. I know it's not your fault, I do and I'm sorry for letting it go this long. I was just so angry and scared and then with Jazz…All he did was talk about you and how you were healing and recovering and I thought…
"I know that neither one of you would ever do that to Edward and I but I've been emotionally all over the place. Apparently I have PTSD which I'm seeing someone for but it makes me crazier than I normally am and I am so sorry Bella," her voice breaks as she cries into hands. This time I move to comfort her.
"I miss you so much Bella and I hate that I have been such a bitch to you. Please forgive me," I can barely make out her words as she sobs into my shoulder. I can't help my heart from breaking for her.
Alice Cullen by nature is the sweetest person on the planet. I mean don't get me wrong, she has her catty moments but for the most part she's sunshine personified. If I didn't love her so much I would want to bury her alive myself. Seeing her so lost and emotionally confused hurts me which is why I had no issue with backing off from Jasper.
"Of course I forgive you. I knew you were going through a hard time which is why I backed off. I knew you'd eventually come around," I smile as I hear her sniffle before pulling away and giggling herself.
"I don't deserve you but thanks for being…you," her tears are gone and my Alice is back. I can't help but be envious of her emotional whiplash. It must be nice. "So now let's talk about what's going on with you and Edward."
Should've known the pixie had ulterior motives and as usual I walk into them every time. One day I really will learn but today, I do need my best friend to help me fix this situation. I know I have some serious damage control to do with Edward and Alice is a great sounding board, less brutal than Rose.
"Where do I begin?"
"How about with the great car sleep over and how that came to be?" Alice finishes with a sing song voice before pulling me to the couch. Ah the drama of it all.
Three hours later after laughs and tears were had; a knock at the door ends mine and Alice's one on one time. I answer the door and can't fight the smile as my favorite southern gentleman gathers me up for a long over due hug. I can't fight the squeal that leaves me as Jasper lifts me off the ground.
"I have missed you too much darlin," his voice is low as not to upset Alice. I know until Alice is back to her old self, Jasper and I will walk a fine line. There's no need to make unnecessary waves.
I pull back to look at him and I see Rose on the porch. "Hey girlie, how are you?"
"Better now that Jazz sprung me from the asylum," Rose watches Jazz make his way over to Alice before giving Alice a slight grimace. "You two work everything out?"
"For the most part, she's got some things to work through but we're good."
"Thank god, thought I was going to have to hurt small fry. That wouldn't go over too well with the little prince," Rose finishes as she follows me into the kitchen. I grab a few sodas out of the fridge before handing Rosie one. "Speaking of princes, you talk to Edward yet?"
"Got a cold text and nothing since, he'll talk to me when he's ready."
"I would've thought after he came charging at my car like a bat out of hell yesterday that he'd have been here begged and gone already. Those damn Cullen boys, they sure know how to screw up a situation," Rose's snarl of the Cullen name lets me know Em's going to have quite the fight on his hands.
"He'll talk when he's ready; wanna watch a movie with us?"
"Sure, just please tell me it's not a romantic comedy. I mean if I have to sit next to Alice and Jasper and watch that, I may vomit."
"Yeah no, we're watching Zombieland. Nothing like death and comedy, heard it was really good."
Rosie and I join the happy couple as the sodas are distributed and the movie is started. Even in limbo with Edward I can't help but feel somewhat back to normal. I mean I'm home, watching a movie with my friends and actually enjoying myself. If Edward and Emmett were here it would be perfect but I can appreciate what I have right now.
The movie is hysterical, I mean even Rose is laughing and by the end all four of us are craving Twinkies, just kidding. Alice has to get home so Jasper takes her while Rosie stays behind to help me make dinner. Jasper is coming back to watch the Mariner game with Charlie. Conversation is light but I can tell Rose has something she needs to say.
"What is it?"
"What are you talking about?" Rose puts a mushroom in her mouth as she turns away from me.
"Ok, play it that way if you want but I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on," my tone is light so as not to push. I know Rose will attack if she feels threatened; I learned that the hard way. I watch her hem and haw before she finally turns back to me.
"Alice wants me to spend the night this weekend…I don't," Rosie's voice is a whisper and she's overcome with insecurity. "I don't think I can be around him."
"Can I be honest without you trying to cut me up into small pieces?" Normally I would be joking but her temperament these days, not so much.
"Of course," Rose flips her hair as she braces for what I have to say. I finish the lasagna and put it in the oven before turning to answer her.
"I know we vaguely touched on this and I think you need to hear his side of the story but Emmett lied to you. There wasn't another girl," I pause to see her reaction before continuing. I can see the disbelief and anger cross her face before she motions me to continue.
Well this is progress.
"Edward and Alice were doing so well that he knew they'd be staying in Chicago longer and he didn't want you at home waiting for him. Alice and Edward tried the same bullshit in one form or another but Emmett really took the cake knowing you'd hate him for cheating on you. When I saw him in Chicago, he was really broken up about it and…"
"And what?" Her tone is curious as she takes a step closer to me.
"He blames himself for what happened with Royce. I've never seen him so broken. He's been sitting outside your house since you got home wanting to talk to you but his overall guilt keeps him from even entering past your gate."
Rose looks like she's been punched in the stomach. I am taken back by her actions since I truly believed she would rejoice in Emmett's guilt, at least about the whole fake kiss debacle. I watch as she moves to the kitchen table before lowering herself into the chair. I watch for a moment before doing anything.
"Rosie?"
I hear the tears before I see them. Rose is hidden behind her golden mane and I move quickly to comfort my friend. She collapses in my arms and I hold her as she cries. My heart breaks for the second time today as words and their consequences wreak havoc on the lives around me.
"He'll never want me now B, I'm tainted goods," her anguish voice brings the anger in me. I pull away from her to look in her face.
"Rosalie, Emmett Cullen is in love with you. He would never and I mean NEVER think you of you as anything other than the goddess you are," I chuckle as I remember him calling her that. "His words not mine."
"You had me worried there for a moment, don't get me wrong I love you and all," the heaviness is lifted as we both begin to laugh. I catch a glimpse of the Rose of old and I miss her but the new Rose is going to need all the support and confidence we can give her. When the laughter dies down, worry comes over Rose's features. "I have no idea how to be around him."
"I don't think that's going to be a problem. Between the both of you, the first meeting should be gloriously awkward as all get out," I smile at her as I notice Jasper for the first time waiting outside the kitchen quietly listening in. He gives me a smile before I return it and motion him to come on in.
"Something smells damn good in here. It's been too long since I've had your cookin," Jasper smooth words and movement fill the kitchen as Rose collects herself and I move back to the counter to finish up the garlic bread. I can hear Jasper talking to Rose but I tune them out to give them some semblance of privacy.
I look out the window and see Charlie pull up in the cruiser. I take out the stuff to finish making up the salad while Rose excuses herself to the bathroom to clean up as Charlie walks in and greets Jazz enthusiastically. I smile at the male bonding as Charlie moves to the kitchen to greet me. It's his new thing, a hug with a kiss to the top of the head. It's a sweet gesture that I am quickly becoming accustomed to.
"Smells good Bells," Charlie's voice is bright as he unfastened his belt and secures his weapons. I thank him as he moves to his room to change. I hear him exchange greetings with Rose before she joins us looking like she never shed a tear, oh to be that lucky.
Charlie comes downstairs and conversations ensue. I watch as Jazz and Rose talk with Charlie about his day and I'm filled with happiness watching my dad enjoy our company. I know he's missed Jazz and Rose but as usual has been more than understanding. He's actually sad to hear he missed Alice. He's got a real sweet spot for her and I know that Charlie will be happy to know that Alice and I are on the road to recovery.
Dinner is served, plates are piled high, laughter is loud and bellies are filled. It's wonderful and I can tell I'm not the only one thoroughly enjoying themselves. The game is getting ready to start so Jasper and Charlie quickly clear the table before washing the dishes. I put the leftovers in a container for Charlie to take to work tomorrow while Rose wipes the table down. In no time the guys are in the living room watching the game as Rosie and I head outside to sit on the porch.
Rose and I laugh at the boys as they cheer for their team who by the sounds of it are kicking the Yankees ass. I don't mind baseball but Rose can't stand it, now give the girl some football and it's a whole other story. We don't revisit Emmett or Edward; we keep it light by talking about trips to the city and what she wants to buy for the upcoming school year.
"That guy must be lost," Rose laughs as a guy on a motorcycle passes by the house. "He's passed by now three times. I'm flagging him if he passes again, that's just too pathetic. I mean who gets lost in Forks?"
We both laugh but as the hair on the back of my neck stand's up. I can't help but feel paranoid, thank you James. I haven't gotten any more creepy notes so I shake it off since the motorcyclist never comes back around.
Jazz and Rose leave after the game ends and I'm sad to see them go. I have no idea what I'm doing tomorrow and I'm really starting to hate being by myself. I tell Charlie goodnight as I make my way up the stairs. A shower, some Sense and Sensibility and hopefully a goodnight's sleep and I will be good to go. Before I head to the bathroom I check my phone.
2 TEXT MESSAGES
I hit the button and open the first one.
SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY – E
I smile as I open the second message.
ALICE SAYS YOU GUYS KISSED AND MADE UP. GLAD TO HEAR IT. CAN I SEE U TOMORROW? – E
I immediately text my response; I am ready to have this whole misunderstanding behind us. I miss him and the thought of not being able to go over to the Cullen's is really hard. I miss my family and I'm ready to enjoy the rest of the summer together. I wait to see if he's going to respond before heading to the shower. After five minutes I set the phone down to go shower. I move quickly through my routine and return to my room quickly. I immediately move to my phone to have some sort of connection with Edward but there's nothing.
I get in bed and grab my book. I hung up Jake's dream catcher and I'm praying that it works. What I wouldn't give to have a peaceful nights sleep. I open my book and get comfortable before I hear Charlie on the stairs. A soft knock before he walks into the room.
"So you and Alice?"
"We had a nice talk today and I think that things between us are much better," I smile to let him know it's the truth.
"I'm really glad to hear it. I forgot how much I missed having Jasper and Rose around," he smiles before looking to the ground. "You and Edward make up yet?"
"He wants to talk tomorrow."
"It'll all work out. Just be honest and you two will be back to normal in no time," his voice is full of wisdom as he gives me a quick smile.
"Dad, do you ever think you might, I don't know get out there and meet someone? I hate that you're alone," I smile at him hoping he's taking me seriously.
"I don't know Bells," his voice is mournful before he gets a wicked glint in his eye. "Do you have someone in mind? I hear Mrs. Newton has a sister."
I blanch at the thought of what Mrs. Newton's sister could be like. I mean if she's anything like Mrs. Newton, I might prefer Charlie single.
"Mrs. Cope is widowed, I mean she's older than me but I bet she quite the lady," Charlie's eye brows lift a couple of times.
He's messing with me. I open my mouth to tell him that I am being serious when he starts laughing. I can't help but shake my head while joining in with his laughter. Charlie moves over to the bed before taking a calming breath.
"I'm not interested in a casual relationship. I loved your mother with everything I had and though I do get lonely, if I'm meant to share my life with someone then she'll come around. But for now, you keep me plenty entertained," he chuckles again as he takes my hand in his. "I know I don't say it enough but I'm proud of you Bells and I know if your mom were here she would be as well."
I can't fight the pair of tears that fall down my cheek as I lean over to wrap my arms around my dad. I hug on him for a few minutes sending up a silent prayer to whoever is listening to send my dad someone to love and spend his days with. He's too amazing of a person to be alone like he will be in a few years.
"I love you dad."
"I love you too Bells."
Ahhh nothing like a little father/daughter time. I know, no E & B reunion...that's next chapter but I did give you some Alice and Rosalie. Plus I can't help but have some Charlie time…I just love him!
Ok I have some story rec's: Forgettable by Belindella.At 15, I kissed my first crush. At 17, we had sex. Now I'm 19 & passionately in love with him while he & everyone else still thinks I'm an untouched virgin. But he's just moved into my apartment with me, so perhaps there's hope for us yet. It's a good story that's angsty in the beginning but after a few chapters it settles into a really great rhythm.
Witness Protection by twicrack83. Rebel Bella has been shipped around the U.S. for years to different foster homes after being placed in Child Protective Services. What will happen when she is placed with uptight Edward and his family? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this story! I will warn you that there is some pretty graphic violence BUT (and this is important) the Cullen's are amazing as usual. Great writing so give it a shot!
And last but not least: The Nightingale Journals by kimpy0464. Night nurse Bella Swan blogs about her experiences via "The Nightingale Journals." When Dr. Edward Cullen is named the PICU's newest Fellow, their attraction is undeniable, but they are trying to remain professional. I know there are a lot of medical stories out there but this one is great with a wicked sense of humor! Plus Bella has an unusual love that of course Edward is able to accommodate!
As usual if you know a story I should be reading, PLEASE let me know! I love a great story.
Leave me some love and I will give you a tease in return! See you next Friday and have a great weekend!