Saiyan Jabs

Author: Edward Tudor

Rating: K+ to M

Warnings: Yaoi, homosexuality, m-preg, AU, crossdressing, etc, etc; you HAVE been warned

Summary: Quick one-shot stories randomly written prompted by one word. Goku/Vegeta only (seme/uke)

Perfume

T

Goku held back the frown of disgust that was threatening to break across his face. Gohan wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it, but at least he was young enough to get away with it. But if Chichi turned and saw her husband with a sour expression as though he had just eaten a hairy tomato and was this close to throwing up, she would have pitched a fit. But he couldn't help himself.

Her perfume smelt disgusting!

Okay, so it wasn't that bad. From a far distance he could smell the light floral notes of honeysuckle, fennel and some other very feminine smelling flowers. But right next to him, it was like being sprayed in the face with a Glade aerosol; lavender scented! It was so overpowering and it made Goku's stomach a tad sensitive. It wasn't his fault, though. He couldn't help it that his Saiyan genetics decreed that, as a Saiyan, he should have better smelling than that of a bloody dog!

Trying telling that to Chichi, though…

He was, therefore, extremely glad when they reached Bulma's house. Bulma was holding a party in celebration of her latest creation that had hit the markets and had wanted all her close friends to join her in a private celebration. The fresh air and the scent of freshly cut grass quelled his roiling stomach a bit as he got out the car. Gohan scrambled out his side, taking in deep, dramatic breaths. Chichi just tittered, saying he'd never get a girl if he behaved like he was.

Goku couldn't help but sourly think that maybe it would then be for the better.

"Goku! Chichi!" Bulma greeted them. "Oh my, Chi! You smell terrific!"

"Oh, it's just a little something I picked up from Michelle's last year. It's called Sherrie." Goku's smile stayed in place even though the scent had closed in on him again seeing as they were in an enclosed space. Only, it smelt worse, as though there was another scent mixing with it. "Ooh! What are you wearing, Bulma?"

"Oh, this?" she lifted her arm up and extended her wrist to Chichi. The scent wafted off and up Goku's nostrils, making him want to gag. "It's my own personal scent! I went to have it made for me!"

"Oooh! It smells divine on you!"

Goku's gag reflex begged to differ.

"Hey, is everyone here?" he queried, hoping to take his mind off the god awful scents.

"Yeah, Krillin and Eighteen arrive just before you guys and Roshi is probably off somewhere with my dad," she said, unaware that Goku was trying to get away from her. "I think Vegeta is still getting ready, though."

"That's okay," he said, grinning. "I'll go say hi to Krillin."

Having made his escape, he quickly located Krillin by the house's mini bar, chatting merrily with his wife and Mrs Briefs.

"Hey, Krillin!"

"Hey, it's Goku!" he cheered, walking over and giving him a manly hug.

Goku instantly wished he didn't. He was also wearing perfume. It was a man's perfume, obviously, but it didn't mean it didn't make him feel any less nauseous than Chichi or Bulma's. In fact, the one side affect he hated about male perfumes were that they burnt his nose! "How have you been, buddy?"

Could have been better, he thought resentfully.

For the next ten minutes, he chattered on with his best friend. He was quite subtle in leading him to an open window so the breeze could suck off most of the vile perfume, but after Bulma decided to join them he quickly ran off. No breeze could water down any woman's perfume!

He was just about to go outside and grab a lungful of air when a very subtle scent caught his nose. At first, he thought he smelt someone else's perfume from a distance, but then he realised it smelt like no one else in the room. It actually smelt…nice. Spicy, like sandalwood and cinnamon lightly mixed with something sweet and citrus. Orange? Nectarine? Whatever it was, it was light and heady and Goku found himself sniffing the air to find the source.

He found himself walking to the balcony and drifting down to the ground. He walked around the dome shaped building and across the lawn. To his amazement, there sat Vegeta and his son. Vegeta had obviously been comforting Gohan, as the boy leaned heavily on him and near nuzzled into his suit.

Goku's heart shuddered in delight as the older Saiyan lifted his eyes and smile softly at him.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up, Kakarot."

"Huh?" he mumbled unintelligently. "W-what do you mean?"

"You leaving the party for the same reason as your son," he said, pulling Gohan closer. "To get away from the stench."

"Well, hey now, they don't smell that bad…"

"Their perfume, Kakarot," he scowled. "If you son came running out, looking like he was going to vomit everything he had in him and he's only half Saiyan, I can imagine how your stomach must be faring."

Goku felt his face burn with humiliation. He had thought he was insulting his friends.

"S-sorry," he mumbled.

"He's right, though, dad," Gohan mumbled, looking quite worn out. "Their perfume does make them stink."

"Yeah," he said softly, moving to sit next to Vegeta. "I guess that's why you came out to get some fresh air."

"We both did," Vegeta said, mussing the boy's hair with affection. Goku couldn't help but stare in wonderment as Gohan's eyes closed in bliss and gave a small hum of appreciation. Wonderment and a bit of jealousy. "I figured we're going to be out here for about two hours before they get hot and sweaty from being inside, forcing them to open the windows, and another hour or so as the open windows flushes out the smell."

"Wow, how do you know that?"

"The woman often has parties like this," he sighed. "The first three I couldn't stay down longer than ten minutes and she always nagged me to stay longer. It was a lot worse than this, too. It's probably just your harpy, the woman and a few men wearing perfume. Those other functions had more than fifty people and every single one of them was drenched in the vile stuff!"

Goku's stomach clenched at the thought. Even Gohan looked a little sick at the prospect of having to be in a room with over fifty different overpowering smells.

"Yeah, I suppose it has to do with us being Saiyan, huh?"

"That's right," he nodded, propping Gohan fully against him. "As Saiyan, we can smell a lot more and from great distances. We can pick up what appears to be nothing to other races, but we can smell it as clear as day."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," he said. "I only came out here because I was following a better scent."

Vegeta cocked a brow, obviously questioning him.

"A better scent?"

"Mmm," he nodded. "It smelt nice and spicy."

"That was probably the Cajun chicken Bunny was making." Goku momentarily thought it was odd that he called Bulma's mother by her name but referred to Bulma as 'the woman'.

"Nah, it wasn't a burnt spicy smell. It was spicy like cinnamon; like on pancakes!" Vegeta rolled his eyes, obviously at Goku's reference to food. "And it smelt citrusy, too. Sweet, though, not like lemon scented cleaner but just as fresh."

He paused suddenly as the smell wafted by the nose.

"There it is!" Vegeta lifted his nose to the air and sniffed.

"I don't smell anything," he scoffed.

"Really? But it smells so good…" he sniffed harder, following the source. It wasn't until his nose was buried by the collar of Vegeta's shirt that he realised it was coming from the man himself! "Ne, Vegeta, what kind of perfume are you wearing?"

He was surprised to see the man blush.

"I'm not wearing any, baka!" he hissed.

The implication hit Goku like Brolly hitting him through a wall. This was Vegeta's scent? No perfume, no oils, no lotions; nothing added that had a scent. Just Vegeta.

Dear God, it smells divine! He thought. It was a no wonder Gohan was pressing himself up close to the man. He obviously thought he smelt wonderful compared to the stink inside the house and Goku couldn't agree with him more. Biting back a moan as he took a deeper sniff, he wondered how anyone could naturally smell this amazing and not bottle it?

Au de Vegeta, he sniggered in thought. He'd wear it every day.

"Let me guess," a sharp voice cut through his daydreams. "Like the brat, you find my scent more appealing than the grass?" He looked down at Vegeta. The man's cheeks were pink with either discomfiture or humiliation at being sniffed by a grown man.

"Well," he grinned cheekily. "You do smell pretty amazing."

"Better than the grass?"

"Much more fresher," he grinned. Vegeta's cheeks flamed more, but his attention quickly turned when Gohan shifted closer to his neck.

"Okay, fine!" he grumbled. "You can…smell me. But!" he roared, pointing a finger at him. "You may only do so sitting next to me! Only the brat is allowed to scent me," he emphasised it by pulling him closer.

Goku's face fell, but he realised that Gohan could get away with it because he was a boy. Goku was a grown man; if Chichi or Bulma came out it would look very awkward if he had his face buried in his neck. At least with Gohan it looked as though he were comforting the boy after being sick.

"Okay," he said eagerly. Vegeta blinked, surprised at the readiness with which his demands were met, but quickly huffed and turned his attention back to the brightly lit house. Goku sat quietly next to him, steadily inhaling the refreshing scent that was his prince.

Au de Vegeta. Better than any damn perfume he ever smelt!

AN: I've always liked the idea of Saiyan's having an enhanced sense of smell. I was reading DB when I came across it and thought, 'You know, if I gag every time I pass the perfume section in a store, how would Goku handle it?'

Oh, and beware the hairy tomatoes! They are not your friends!