When I was five years old, my mom would always take me to the zoo to see the koalas. They were my absolute favorite animal. I loved everything about them. Their color, their ears, and how well they could climb. I would talk to them about everything; school, family, and even about how much I hated the lions. And boy, did I hate those. Who did they think they were? They didn't rule the zoo, and to me, they most certainly were not the kings of the jungle. Anyway, when I took my friends to the zoo for my sixth birthday, the koalas were gone, vanished in the blink of an eye. That night, I cried to my mom. It felt as though I lost something that was apart of me. That I lost my best friends, and I hated that feeling. I even remember chucking my koala beanie babies at the neighbors whenever I got really upset. I just didn't want to be alone. But then again, who does? Maybe that's why I'm still with Addison. We've been each others security blankets for three years now. The first year, it was puppy dog love. She would follow me everywhere, and we would always hang out together. The second year, it got a little more serious. The third year, well…I just don't know where we're going. The cycle keeps repeating itself and I don't want that. I want to move forward, I want to move on, but I'm so afraid of being alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dependent. I just want that person with me, even if it is Addison, I just want someone. And the worst thing about this relationship is I know she feels the same way. We don't love each other, we don't really want to be together, but we have to be. It's the status quo and you do not mess with that. I guess that's just how life works. You keep what you get and never let go, because if you do, you might never get that back again. But the real question is…do I even want it back?

"How's your service project with Stevens going?" Mark questioned as he bit into his candy red apple.

"Ugh…she hates me. Apparently Meredith told her about everything. So she is always making these stupid comments and being a total bitch. But, I deserve it."

"How about Meredith? Talk to her?"

I shook my head. "Nope…she won't even look at me."

"It's been two weeks and you haven't said one word?!"

"Well I can't say anything to her cause I caused this and she won't say anything to me because she has way too much pride, so I predict we will never talk again."

"Mr. Shepherd?"

I turned around and saw Mr. Webber standing right across from me. What did he want now? "Uh, yeah?"

"Can I see you in my office…now."

I rolled my eyes at Mark then entered the large office. "Take a seat Derek."

I slowly sat down. "What's this about?"

He handed me several papers, which I soon figured out were my tests in English, math, and bio. "Okay?"

"Derek, take a look at your scores. You were an A student, now your down to a C. What the hell happened?"

I ran a hand over my face. It's not that I wasn't studying, I just couldn't concentrate. Meredith occupied 95 of my brain and the other 5 was how I could make it up to her. "I, I don't know. I guess I have to study harder."

"Your damn right you have to study harder. You think your going to get into NYU with those scores? Yeah, you were already accepted but I'm telling you Derek they will take that acceptance letter right away if they see you slipping. Hundreds, no thousands, of people apply to that school from all over the world. They will be thrilled to take your spot away. Wise up Derek, or you will not be accepted and you sure as hell won't be running for prom king."

I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I felt as though I was about to explode. I always kept my feelings bottled up, and now I just wanted to scream. "So what if I bombed a few tests? That does not make up for all of my other tests which I did well on! You know what Webber you are just looking for ways to fail me or take things away from me! You've already taken Meredith away and now your about to take my NYU ACCEPTENCE LETTER?! God, you are just bitter because I am going to make use of myself. I am going to be successful! And there is nothing you can do to take that away from me! I earned that spot at NYU, I worked my ASS OFF to get in their and now your saying your going to TAKE THAT AWAY?! You have no right to say that to me and I sure as hell have no obligation to say anything to an ass like you!" With that, I stormed out of the office, slamming the door hard on my way out.

Detention, suspension, explosion, death…all thoughts that ran through my mind as I walked back home. I didn't even bother going back to class after my blow up with Mr. Webber. I just left school. Dammit, I left school! I have never skipped like that before and I have never ever EVER blown up like that in front of Mr. Webber. Oh man, I was dead. I was so fricken dead. I wasn't going to NYU. I wasn't finishing out the remainder of high school. I was dead. So damn dead. I swung open my screen door and to my complete shock, Mr. Webber was sitting right in my kitchen with my mom and dad. Like I said, I was so so dead.

"DEREK WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" My dad screamed after Mr. Webber left our house.

I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, I just blew up."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! I CANNOT BELIVE YOU!"

"TOM CALM DOWN!" My mother yelled. "Calm down! It's not the end of the world! You heard what Richard said!"

"OH I heard what he said alright…I heard him say that my son, MY SON, got in his face and TALKED BACK, oh I'm sorry, SCREAMED BACK to him! You make me sick Derek, have we taught you nothing?! You cheap piece of shit, you put our family to shame you son of a—"

"TOM! TOM, STOP! EVERYONE STOP! This is getting way out of control!"

I could feel the tears building up, but I couldn't cry. Not in front of my dad. "I said I was sorry."

"YEAH WELL SORRY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! You might be EXPELLED DEREK!"

"Now wait a minute Tom, do not scare him!" my mom said as she turned towards me, "Derek, he said that he thinks you are a really nice boy, and he respects you. He understands how tough high school can be and said you probably just had a bad day."

"Don't sugar coat it Maria! He said he isn't sure the punishment but expulsion is definitely an option and to tell you the truth, I don't blame him!" My dad's eyes were flaming red and I felt completely naked. Stripped from my dignity, completely, totally bare.

"I'm sorry…" I choked. I took a deep breathe, trying desperately to stop the stinging in my eyes. "I'm sorry." But the tears ceased to go away, and down they fell.

My mom wrapped her arms around me and patted my head. "Shhh, baby it's okay. Don't cry."

My dad shook his head, muttered something barely audible, then stormed out of the house. "Your sisters would never do something like this!" he screamed right before he slammed the door. He was right. I was the no one in the family. I was the failure. I was the cheap piece of shit that put my family to shame.

I stared out my bedroom window and closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep. Not after the day I had. Finally, my phone started to ring.

"Finally! Mark, I told you to call me over an hour ago!"

"Football practice got held up. Now what happened?"

"I yelled at Mr. Webber, like, really yelled. I even called him an ass. And now I could be expelled and I am probably not running for prom king and I will most likely not get into NYU because I bet Mr. Webber is going to write them an e-mail saying how they should take away my acceptance letter. And uhm, let's see anything else? Oh yeah my dad hates me now. He called me a cheap piece of shit. My life officially sucks."

The other line grew dead quiet. "Mark? MARK?"

'Oh my God' were the only words I heard that night.

A/N: Okay so this was a lot of Derek. I know that and I did that on purpose. And this whole yelling at the principal thing really does have a purpose because that's going to play a pretty big part in the next chapter. (which will be FILLED with merder by the way.) But I couldn't just start a chapter with them talking and acting fine because he did call her a slutty liar and Meredith would definitely not take that. So yeah Derek is in trouble…big trouble. Who will help him? Meredith? Mark? Addison? Press that tiny review button and you will soon see…

oh and also, everyone knows that one of the main resons Derek 'blew up' was because of Meredith. Yah so thats going to play a big part in the next chapter as well.