* Just NOTE, I reread and added some (,) and some (!)And (?) Where they went. I am working on doing better. Hope this helps by making it easier to read. Thanks for your time. Zandie
Chapter 14: Is this what is right for me?
As his lips met mine, I brought my hands up and twisted them into his hair. Kissing Edward was not like kissing Jake it was better in some ways. My stomach was doing flip flops and I moved so I was closer to him.
"Bella, love, do you like the roses? Remember to breathe love." I always forget that whenever I am around him.
"Yes Edward, I love them. Are they for me or were you having someone else over?" I asked laughing.
"No Bella, I only see you, always." Then he pulled me into a small but sweet kiss. My heart was doing double back flips now. I really want him so bad right now.
"Bella, what are you thinking? I wish I could hear your mind. You have to tell if I'm doing this the right way, I have never had anyone ever that I have wanted to get to know or be around before you, other than my family."
"Edward, you're doing everything right. I've never felt like this before either. I know what you are thinking about, Jacob and yes, he's important to me but it's different. He's different from you."
He pulled me into his arms and held me tight against his strong, hard chest. Then he kissed the top of my head and started to hum the most peaceful and beautiful melody that I have ever heard. I fell asleep in his arms.
(EPOV)
Bella was laying here in my arms and I had to do whatever I could to make her mine. If she chose this Jacob Black guy over me I would not stand in her way because all I want is for her to be happy. But I want to be the reason she's happy.
I know I'm a selfish person and I shouldn't be bringing her into my world, it's not safe for her here but I can't be without her either. I'm undeniably in love with this woman. I held her and hummed to her, her lullaby.
She seemed to like it; she was smiling at me when sleep finally took her over. I hope she talks in her sleep like she does every night. I know I shouldn't be climbing into her window and watching her but I just can't stand to be away from her, it's almost like she's my air and I need to her to live.
Yeah, her blood sings to me and she's the sweetest thing I've ever wanted to drink but I couldn't, no wouldn't, live in a world without my Bella in it.
"Edward, can I come in please?" I heard Alice at my door whispering. She knew that Bella would be a sleep and didn't want to wake her. "Sure Alice you can come in."
"Edward, how did she like the roses? Did you win her heart yet? I see that she will be breathtaking when she becomes one of us."
"ALICE, SHE WILL NEVEER BECOME ONE OF US! Not as long as I can help it. I will not take away her soul and have her live the life of the dammed like us; I love her to much for that."
"Edward, it will happen, I've seen it more than once. She'll choose you in the end and you'll be the one to change her. I love her too Edward, she's my sister and she has to be with us. Without us she won't be happy. Jacob Black cannot give her what we can, what you can."
"Alice, she will have to make up her own mind I will not sway her if she wants him, then I will stand by her and hope that she will come back to me on her own. Bella is my life now"
"Have you told her how much you love her yet, Edward?"
"No, I have to wait for her to come to me first. That way I know that my whole vampire thing didn't sway her and she wants me for me being vampire and all."
"Well, she hasn't run away from us yet and she knows about us right? Well then, that should show you that she's falling in love with you too," Alice said.
Then Bella started to move around in my arms so I laid her down gently on the pillow, she smiled and then she said I love you and snuggled down farther into the pillow.
"Who is she dreaming about Alice, can you see?"
"No, I don't even see her right now, even though I'm looking right at her."
"Please help me choose, Alice. Which one should I wear? Will he like that color on me? Okay blue it is. No! Watch out! He's a wolf and he will....no, no stop! But I love him and he has to love me back. Wait Jake, don't go! I need you too," Bella said in her sleep. 'I need you to stay and be my best friend Jake, I love you but I'm in love with Edward.'
"I'm so sorry Edward. Maybe she's dream about saying goodbye to Jacob as a boyfriend and that she only wants him as her friend."
"I don't know Alice, when she's asleep; she has no reason to censor what she says. Maybe he's who she wants more. If that's the case, I will stand by her. That's what people that are in love do, right?"
"Yes, it is Edward. It'll be hard but I know you can do it for her."
"Alice, I would do anything for her."
The sun was going to coming up soon and Bella will be waking up, maybe I should go over to the couch. Then she reached over like she heard my thoughts and grabbed a hold of my arm and brought it to her lips and she kissed it.
"Morning love, how are you this fine sunless morning?"
"Good, because I am here with you." She answered sheepishly. "I need a human moment, please," she said as she climbed out of my bed with a rose pedal stuck to her forehead. "Don't move," She added.
(BPOV)
I climbed out of Edward's bed, went into his bathroom, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Thank God I did, I had a rose pedal stuck to my forehead. Great, Bella, you look like a fool. How could Edward fall for a girl like me? I have nothing to offer him.
I know I should tell him that I'm falling in love with him, but what if I'm just a friend with extra to him and he doesn't feel the same way about me? My heart would break. Oh, how I long to touch him I said to myself but I had said it out loud.
I forgot super vampire hearing. I just hope he hadn't heard me. I put on my best smile that my plain face could make and made my way back to him and his bed. He smiled his crooked smile back at me and I fell on to the bed.
"I meant to do that, really." I said, trying not to look like the clumsy girl that I am.
"It's alright Bella, you even fall gracefully. Here, come right here." Then he patted the bed next to him and I moved over so I was right beside him.
Then he bent down, brought his lips to mine, and we let our mouths and tongues dance with each other. I looked up and he was hovering above me. I wish I could feel all of him but I'm way too shy to ask.
Besides, what if he didn't want me like that? We kept kissing and it was getting really hot with him only breaking away for me to breath. Then he would kiss down my neck to my shoulder and back up to my lips.
"Love, can I ask you something? No matter what the answer is, I will still be here for you and with you."
"Sure Edward, ask me anything I'll never lie to you, besides I'm a bad liar."
"Bella, do you love Jacob Black?"
Oh my God, did he just me that? Of course I loved Jake, he's my very best friend and he has always been here for me. But was he's asking if I loved him or if I was in love with him because I have two totally different answers for that.
"Bella, do you have feelings for Jacob Black?"
"I'm not going to lie to you Edward, yes, I love Jacob and yes, I have feelings for him but I'm not in love with him. He's my best friend and I do love him and yes, we kiss and I like that too but I'm in love with someone else."
"Does the someone else know you love them Bella?"
"No, he doesn't, but he doesn't feel the same way so I don't see a point in telling him. It would only hurt me more if I do, and he rejects me."
"No man in his right mind would reject you, love." 'I would kill them if they hurt you in any way.'
"Bella, Edward, breakfast is done for Bella and besides, it's my turn." Then Edward growled at Alice. "Chill, brother dear, you can spend more time with her; let's just get some food in her. She'll need to be driven to the borderline later. She has plans with Jacob Black that she shouldn't miss."
That made Edward growl again, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his body.
"You know Edward, I could get used to this. Used to you being this close to me." I blushed a little but not too much because I knew this was true.
"Let's get you some food, Esme will be upset if I don't let you eat and all her food gets wasted, because I don't want to be away from you or share your time with any of them."
He picked me up, handed me the clothes that Alice had gotten me and then left so I could get dressed. I don't know what came over me but before he walked out the door I whispered, "Stop Edward, don't go. You have seen me without any clothes the last time I was here, when I forgot you were in the room."
"So, now that I have on a cami and boy short set on, I want you to see me." I said shyly. 'Please don't walk out the door!', I was screaming in my head. I had taken a great risk with my heart, asking for him to stay. I would fall apart if he chose not to.
"Bella, are you sure?"
"Yeah, I am, I want you here, I don't like to be away from you for too long."
"I'm yours, as long as you want me to be, love."
Then he turned around and was looking at me as I took off the night clothes that I had been wearing and I grabbed the sun dress that matched my underwear set and put it on. Before the dress could fall all the way down, Edward had his arms around me again.
He was saying something but I couldn't hear what it was. He must have been talking to Alice or some other Cullen. I pulled away just enough to look him in his eyes, he looked me back in the eyes and we kissed till Alice yelled for me to come and eat before it got cold.
"Stupid pixie brat." I said as we walked holding hands down to the kitchen where Esme had fixed me a buffet of food, which I could never eat all of. Time flew by and it was 3PM before I knew it and that meant that it was time for me to go and meet Jacob down in La Push.
"Thank you for driving me, can I ask you to pick me up around 9 so that I can stay with Alice again tonight? Charlie will be out of town till late tomorrow night."
"Sure Bella, just call me, here take this phone, it's yours now. I'll always just a call away, I run fast too so I'll be there if you need me."
We climbed into his car and he drove slow for "Edward speed."
"What's wrong, you aren't driving like a maniac?"
"I just don't want to be away from you that's all."
"I'll miss you too Edward," then I kissed his check as we pulled up to an imaginary line, he stopped the car and got out.
He opened my door, grabbed me, kissed me hard, and blew into my hair, before he said, "Remember to call and I will be here to get you." Then I waved and walked over to Jacob who was standing there waiting me.
"Hey blood sucker, don't leave just yet, I need to talk to you first. I'll even come to you as soon as Bells is on or past the line with my brothers so she's safe. Also, you must know that there are five other wolves here to make sure I stay safe also."
"No problem, dog, I'm right here, bring it. Besides, I wouldn't hurt you, she loves you and it would hurt her if something happened to you. Yes, I won't."
"How? What? I didn't even ask yet?"
"I can read minds, remember? I will tell you this only once, I will fight for her with all that I have and if you hurt her, she will mourn for you but she'll move on afterwards, got it?!" Edward said.
Jake snapped back. "Oh, you don't have this all sowed up, I will fight also but I never said that I would fight fair. I love her, man and I'll never give her to you so you can kill her, you leech."
"Boys enough!," I yelled, "This is getting old. I'm a grown person and I will choose who I spend my time with. Right now it seems to be Seth, yes Seth, come here, would you like to go to First Beach with me, while my friends Edward and Jacob finish whatever game it is they're playing?"
"Sure Bells, let's go," Seth said. I grabbed his hand and we walked off heading to the beach. We sat in the sand and watched as the waves grew higher and higher. "Bells, why did you ask me to come here with you?"
"Because the two men in my life that I love are acting like children, I want no part in any of the games that boys play when they think they're impressing a girl. Besides Seth, I like you, you're a good friend."
"Thanks Bells, you're a good friend too."
"Jake, you can come over here if you're going to be good."
"Bells I'm sorry, I just meant it when I told him, I'm in love with you."
"I know Jake, I love you too but-" He didn't even let me finish before he was kissing me.
His lips hit mine so hard, it was like he needed me to live, like I was his lifeline. "Jake, wait!" He just pushed and kissed me harder.
"Bye guys, see you later." Seth said as he ran off.
"Bells, I need you, you need to see how much I love you before you go and chose him over me. I don't see how you even stand that stinking leech; his smell is all over you."
"I don't think he stinks. None of them do."
"When did you and him get so chummy?"
"I don't know, it just happened. I felt drawn to him, Jake. I need to be around him, he's important to me."
"As important as I am, Bells?"
"In some ways yes, in other ways no, I can't explain it Jacob." Then all I felt was the sand in my hair and Jacob laying on top of me.
"Bells, I love you let me show you." Then he kissed me and I kissed him back. I wished that I could take what I liked best about each guy and give it to the other so that I could just have one perfect guy for me and not two.
"Jake, we can't do this." Then he started to pull on my dress and I started to feel really wrong. I didn't want this, not any more, not from Jacob. I am completely in love with Edward.
I stopped kissing Jake and tried to push him off me. "Jake, we're friends, that's all. Nothing more. I am truly sorry, I love you but I am not in love with you. I am in love with-"
"Shush Bells, don't say his name. Not here, not with me. I love you and I will not stop fighting for you Bells. Bells, I still want to be your best friend and spend time with you. Maybe someday you will wake up and realize that it's me that you want."
Then I reached up, kissed him on his check and he let me up. We walked holding hands along the ocean shore. Twilight was coming and it was about time for me to met Edward at the border. Jake drove me and we waited till I saw a silver Volvo pull into sight.
"Bells, remember if it doesn't work out, I'll always be here for you." Then he kissed my cheek and Edward growled, I shot him a look that said chill. He must have gotten it because he did. I hugged my best friend in the world and walked over to the love of my life.
Now all that's left is for me to tell Edward that I'm in love with him. He opened my car door for me and I climbed in. After he got in himself, he smiled at me and leaned over and kissed my check.
"Edward, can we talk?"
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Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it sorry it got kind of long I had so much more I wanted to add but I had to just keep it in check and will add most into the next chapter. Thanks to my Beta reader Strawberry9212.
Disclaimer: like always I don't own Twilight .SM does
