Saiyan Jabs

Author: Edward Tudor

Rating: K+ to M

Warnings: Yaoi, homosexuality, m-preg, AU, crossdressing, etc, etc; you HAVE been warned

Summary: Quick one-shot stories randomly written prompted by one word. Goku/Vegeta only (seme/uke)

Moët & Chandon

T

'Gods,' Vegeta thought as he rounded the buffet table. 'I hate these events. Nothing but pomp and hot air from a bunch of snooty nobodies!' But he knew he had to be there. His father, Vegeta Snr of Ouji Technologies, was on his way to the upper class social gather when he took a topple down the stairs. He, upon seeing his father in a crumple heap at the bottom of the stairs, thought he had broken his neck and was dead! But, to Vegeta's great relief, all he sustained was a broken arm and twisted because he was now incapacitated, it was up to Vegeta to make an appearance.

Of course, at the time he had been so relieved he said yes readily. Now, he cursed himself. 'Well,' he thought to himself as he sipped a cocktail. 'At least he's at home. I have no doubt father would still make a better impression than these stuffed shirts in a cast as he hobbled about, but he needs to rest!'

He was about to put his empty glass on the table with the champagne flutes filled with various expensive champagne when he saw a man skulk to the side of the table. He was taller than Vegeta, even with his gravity defying hair, but he looked a little younger. With a rather peevish expression, the other man ducked under the side and came back up with a closed bottle of Moët & Chandon before storming off into the crowds.

Vegeta, at first, stood frozen; wondering what in the hell just happened. It was rather…random for a guest to nick a bottle of one of the finest champagnes right from where it was stored. He certainly wasn't one of the staff at the mansion, for they were all wearing white tux's with black bows, and he wasn't one of the hosts as they were all dressed in bright maroon; creepily enough. But he quickly shrugged it off. He had other things to deal with rather than contemplate the purpose for someone to take a whole bottle of alcohol for themselves.

The evening drifted on uneventfully. Vegeta constantly crossed between bored and annoyed for most the night and was just waiting for the clock to hit midnight so he could make his excuses and leave. He was very grateful as well that a certain Ms Bulma Briefs of Capsule Corp hadn't been able to attend. The woman was the bane of his existence ever since they joined forces to work on a project together. Somehow, that gave her the idea that they were suited for each other and persued him with all the vigor of a shark to a bleeding seal. The worst of it all wasn't her irritating attempts at seducing him or lack of subtly at dropping hints. It was that everyone else thought they were a perfect match, too!

After the twenty-eighth comment of how they would be such a lovely couple from the hostess herself (yes, he was counting), Vegeta was quite ready and willing to grab the karaoke mike and out himself. He was gay and a big fan of cock; preferably in his arse. Of course, he wouldn't really do it. He may have been annoyed, but he wasn't quite ready to switch one pack of carnivores for another.

Smiling as pleasantly he could, as well as feeling like the skin in his cheeks were splitting, Vegeta excused himself from the chattering hostess and made a beeline for the veranda. From there, he quickly dove into the gardens and silently hoped to whatever deity that was listening that he would not cross some couple fornicating in the bushes.

'I just want the last hour to myself,' he begged. 'That's not too much to ask for, is it?"

Thankfully, the gardens were empty. He had to admit, they were very pretty. It was done in a traditional Japanese style and he hummed in an impressed manner. There was a cute little arc bridge over a small koi pond with bonsai trees spotting the edges. To the one side, there was a zen garden while the other was just a wall of bamboo trees. It looked very inviting.

He stepped down onto the white gravel, letting it crunch under his Nine West shoes as he crossed over to the koi pond. Looking down, he could see it was quite deep, but with the aid of the little lanterns dotted about the garden, he could clearly see the koi in all their shimmery glory as they came to the surface to greet him. He chuckled as he bent down and skimmed the surface.

"Sorry, I'm not your owners, so I didn't bring any food."

"I think there's some in the shed."

Vegeta was instantly on his guard. Jumping up, he turned and faced his intruder with an annoyed expression. The frown slipped slightly off his face as he recognized the person as the man from earlier who nicked the bottle of Moët & Chandon. He was seated on a stone bench hidden in a dark corner of the bamboo wall. No wonder he didn't see him!

The other man regarded him sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrass manner.

"Ah, sorry," he said. "I guess you came here for some privacy?"

"Yes," he nodded, noticing how the other man looked ready to leave. "But you don't have to go. I just wanted a breath of fresh air."

"Across the quad from the party?" he chuckled. Vegeta's cheeks pinked and he huffed.

"Yes! Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, not at all. Just, when you go back could you not tell anyone that I'm here?"

The near pained look the man wore told Vegeta he obviously enjoyed these upper class gatherings as much as crayfish liked getting dunked into boiling water. He felt somewhat the same.

"Couldn't stand the party?" he inquired softly, making his way over closer to the man. He had to admit, he was pretty damn handsome. Young and dark with a very boyish expression. Of course, he was probably straight.

"Is it that obvious?" Vegeta hummed and nodded.

"Yes. If it's of any consolation, I'm not exactly thrilled to be here, either."

"Oh. My father dragged me here in place of my twin brother. Did your family force you to come, too?"

"Actually, my father was on his way here when he had an accident."

"Oh my gosh!" the man cried. Vegeta found it odd that he was so concerned for someone he didn't know, but found it touching, none the less. "Is he alright?"

"Fine," he waved it off. "He fell down the stairs. Just a broken arm and a twisted ankle. The old fool wanted to still come, anyways, but I forced him to stay home and rest. I came in his place."

Vegeta turned from staring at the koi pond to find the other man smiling quite pleasantly at him.

"What?"

"That's very sweet of you despite calling him an 'old fool'." He chuckled. Vegeta blushed and huffed.

"Shut up," he growled. "He needed the rest."

"Oh? What does your dad do?"

"He's the CEO of Ouji Technologies."

"Oh wow! Then you're Vegeta no Ouji!"

"Yes," he nodded, a little taken back by someone who knew who he was instantly. "And you are?"

"Oh! Son Goku, youngest son to Son Bardock of Son Records."

"Son Records, hmm?" he hummed. In truth, Vegeta had only heard of the company. He had never cared much for the family who owned it or who had built it. "You work in it with your family?"

"Naw," he said. "I'm studying Law so that I can make a name for myself." Vegeta nodded. It was quite an honorable decision. Goku obviously wasn't one of those snooty spoilt brats who didn't know the value of money. "What about you?"

"Well, I plan to take over from my father one day. For now, I just work on the floor with the others."

"Wow, I'm guessing you can build pretty impressive things, huh?" Vegeta shrugged, trying to act casual but feeling as though he was failing. It wasn't as though he hadn't been told that line before; it was just that nobody had said it to him before with such sincerity.

"By the way," he said. "Why did you take that bottle of champagne?" Goku's grin dropped and he looked guiltily at the still closed bottle in his hands.

"I dunno," he muttered. "I guess I was planning to get drunk in private."

Vegeta arced a delicate brow.

"And why, pray tell, would you want to do that?" Goku shuffled about before mumbling something Vegeta missed. "Sorry? What was that?"

"I said because I couldn't stand how everyone was congratulating me for my engagement."

Vegeta's brows arced up. That was one he had never heard before.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Goku looked torn between telling him and keeping it to himself, but Vegeta could tell he wasn't the sort to keep something bottle up inside. He had a good and honest face; something Vegeta hadn't seen since junior school.

"Okay, but promise you won't think I'm stupid or…anything," Vegeta simply nodded and seated himself next to Goku. The man sighed deeply. "Okay, here's the thing. I'm gay, but I haven't been able to get a solid boyfriend at all. At least, not one who wants a real relationship or anything. My dad knows my preference, but he thinks I'm just playing around. You know, like I'm just sleeping around with other men before I settle down. I've tried telling him it's not like that, but he doesn't listen. So he got me engaged to some girl I've never seen before. All I know is that she's the daughter of the wealthy Ox King and she's eager to meet me."

"But you're not eager to meet her." Vegeta tried quite hard to quell his inner queer from squealing like a woman who received a personal wardrobe from Louis Vuitton when Goku outted himself.

"I'm sure she's a nice girl," he admitted. "But I don't like girls'. I like other guys." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm probably making you feel really uncomfortable."

"You mean by being gay? Don't worry. I am, too."

Goku blinked and stared at him and if Vegeta could stare at himself, he would've. What on earth was he thinking, outing himself to a man he just met? It had to be the alcohol…

"You're…gay?" Vegeta nodded. "You sure?" Vegeta snapped his head in his direction.

"What the fuck do you mean 'you're sure'?" he scowled.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Goku quickly placated. "It's just that…you're not so…ummm…flighty?"

"You mean like a fairy?" he huffed as Goku nodded carefully. "I'm gay in that I like the company of other men. Not I'm a man who believes I'm a woman trapped in a man's body and I need to tote a Gucci handbag with me to prove it."

"Oh," Goku said, smiling softly. "I like that."

"Huh?"

"I mean that I like how you know you're gay and you don't need to do all that 'I'm queer and I'm here' sort of a thing."

"Neither do you," he said.

"Yeah, but I'm happy with who I am. I don't feel like I've got to prove anything to anyone. I like men and that's that."

"Same here."

Goku gave him a goofy grin and Vegeta felt his stomach knot quite pleasantly. It was…nice to talk to someone who was in a similar position as he was. He felt as though he could trust Goku, too; a feeling he didn't get very often. Of course, despite the encouraging voice in his head to ask the man out, Vegeta didn't think he'd be interested in someone like him. That, and he was engaged to someone else.

"Umm…hey, Vegeta?"

"Yes."

"Ahm…" Vegeta stared at the man, amused in how he suddenly turned bright red and started fidgeting like he was caught doing something he shouldn't have. "D-don't take this the wrong way…or badly, just…erm…" he swallowed hard. "W-would…would you like to go out for coffee sometime?"

Vegeta was lucky the stone bench wasn't far from the ground, or else the glass would have broken as it fell from his slack hand. He was pretty sure his jaw had dropped and his mouth was wide enough for a person to crawl into.

"I…beg your pardon?" Goku shuffled nervously. "Did you just ask me out for coffee?"

"Yeah," he mumbled softly. "I'm sorry, it's just…I think you're really pretty…and in a very manly way! And…if you don't want to…"

"It's…" he swallowed hard. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just…this is first time anyone has ever asked me out to coffee."

"Huh?" Goku looked confused. "You mean, no one's ever hit on you, before?"

"Oh, people have hit on me before, Goku," he muttered, scowling at the thought. "Only it never involved going out to a public location."

"Wow, what a bunch of jerks." He muttered.

"Indeed. But," he said with a flirty smirk. "Considering you actually asked me out, I believe I'm inclined to give you a chance?"

Goku stared, rapt with attention on Vegeta and it made him feel wonderful. It was such a lovely look; full of awe and amazement rather than lust.

"Erm…yes, please?"

"How does this Sunday at Starbucks sound?"

"Perfect."

"Time?"

"Any time you want."

"Hmm, I'm free all day on Sunday, so," he reached into the pocket of his Chanel suit and pulled out one of his business cards and a pen. "Why don't you give me a call? Those are my business numbers and this," he said, quickly scribbling out the ten digits. "Is my cell phone number that only my friends and family know. My personal cell phone number."

Goku's pupil's had dilated and he looked as though he was having trouble breathing.

"Okay," he said breathlessly. "I'll…give you a call?"

"I'm counting on it."

He slipped the bottle of Moët & Chandon from his now limp fingers and sauntered back to the party. Sod social etiquette; he was leaving immediately with the champagne so he could celebrate the first ever decently held conversation with someone who didn't want to get into his pants or wallet.

And toast to his first ever date!

AN: Blaaaargh! I feel I could have done better on this one, but I'm hoping there'll be a word prompt that will allow for me to write out the actual date ^_^