My heart stopped, my breathe hitched in my throat, my face went pale…she was dead. The corpse of Meredith was lying in my hands, and I couldn't do anything. I tried to move. I tried to perform CPR. I tried to carry her to the side of the road and beg for God to send me an angel. But I couldn't. I was frozen into place, staring at the powdery face of a total stranger. For a second, I thought this had to be a dream. She couldn't be dead! But here I was, shivering in the cold, holding a dead body…her body. I slowly removed her hand from her stomach as the blood continued to seep through. God, Derek think! I quickly tore off a piece of my shirt and planted it directly on Meredith's wound. Pressure, that's all it takes…pressure. Suddenly, my phone began to beep in my back pocket. Swallowing hard, I reached into my pocket and removed the phone. Glancing down, my stomach flipped. "Please connect phone to charger" flashed on the screen. No, my phone couldn't have died, not now, not like this. Flipping it open, I hurriedly dialed Mark's number. As I was about to dial the last digit, the screen went black, and the power went out. I couldn't believe it. I clutched the phone as hard as I could then threw it into the darkness. My breath was heavy and my fingers were white from pressing the fabric onto Meredith's soft flesh. "God…" I whispered, "Come on, please…give me something."

Then, just like that, my whole life seemed to flash before my eyes.

"Mom!" I screamed as I ran into the kitchen. "TOMMY CUT ME WITH HIS SCISSORS!"

"Ugh, Derek how many times have I told you to not play with that boy?" Hoisting me up on the counter, she inspected the wound on my hand. "It's not that bad…I just need to clean it and put a bandage on."

"How do you know?" I asked, the tears still stinging my eyes.

"Well, I know because it's not that deep."

"What if it was deep?"

"Then you would probably need stitches."

"STITCHES?!" My eyes grew wide and I immediately pulled my hand away from my mom.

"No, hunny, you don't need it…now give me your hand."

"NO! You are going to hurt me!"

She rolled her eyes then placed a cotton ball on top of a container of rubbing alcohol.

"Give me your hand, Derek, trust me…"

Hesitating, I slowly surrendered my hand. I trusted her.

Trust. Did Meredith trust me? She had to. Without thinking, I grabbed her back then flung her over my shoulders. "I am not letting you die," I murmured…mostly to myself.

I had been wandering in the darkness for 15 minutes and I knew time was running out. "Come on Meredith, come on," I breathed as I continued to run up the side of the road. I could feel her blood dripping down my jacket, but I couldn't stop. She was going to live; I was not letting her die. Out of nowhere, just as if God himself had been hearing my cries, a car interrupted the quiet darkness. I felt a small smile of relief creep up on my lips. "HELP!" I yelled. "HELP!"

The car immediately pulled over and I was shocked to see Mr. Webber.

"Put her in the back, Derek…we're going to the hospital." He said as calmly as he could manage.

I gently placed her limp body in the back seat, my hand still pressed against her abdomen. Slamming the car door shut, I signaled for him to go.

I hate hospitals. Seriously, I do. The smell, the happy nurses, the nauseating doctors…I hate it. People are dying everywhere around you and what can you do? Nothing. Only the doctors can save a life and that annoys the hell out of me. What if you were sitting in a waiting room and saw a patient vomiting? Would you just sit there or would you help the patient out and risk being arrested? I would, without a doubt, choose the latter. I just wouldn't be able to watch someone suffer and not do anything. That's not me, and when you're in a hospital, sitting in that hot stuffy waiting room…your forced to do the exact opposite. Wait. My jacket and hands were still covered in Meredith's blood, and I wouldn't dare wash it off…not until I was sure she was alive. As Mr. Webber emerged from the thick, taunting OR doors, I instantly ran up to him.

"Is she okay? They can save her right? Did you tell them she was shot?"

"Derek, calm down."

"What do you mean calm down? She's okay right? RIGHT?!" I was panicking. I had to know if she was okay, she had to be. She was MEREDITH! Meredith didn't give up.

"Are you your boyfriend?" A tall, dark surgeon asked. Why did everyone keep asking me that? I knew I wasn't, but I had to know if she was okay.

"Uhm, yeah…yeah I am."

Mr. Webber gave me a questionable look then turned towards the surgeon. "He just wants to know if she's alright."

The surgeon nodded towards me then walked behind the nurses' station. "Well, she's lost a lot of blood. Luckily for her, she's AB, and that is very abundant here. But, the bullet…" He gave me a sympathetic look then continued, "Is lodged in her spine. We will have to perform surgery to remove it."

"And then she'll be fine right?"

He hesitated. "Not exactly…if the bullet is too deep, she could be paralyzed. The CT scans show that it is not too far in but we can't be exactly sure until we get in there."

My mouth dropped open. "Paralyzed?"

He sadly nodded. "Yes but I have a good feeling it is not in that far…"

'A good feeling'…bullshit.

"…I'll let you know if anything progress." He let out a small sigh then disappeared through the heavy doors.

Mr. Webber placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it tight. "Be strong Derek…she's going to make it."

I took a deep breath and tried my best to calm the nervous feelings I was experiencing. "If I ever find that ass who did this to her I swear I will-"

"You will what? Kill him? What's that going to do? Revenge is not the answer."

I felt the tears drip down my face. "Then what is?"

He paused. "I don't know…I don't know."

"Oh my God, DEREK!" Addison threw her arms around me as Mark, Izzie, and practically the rest of the seniors from Seattle Memorial High School showed up.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, my voice low.

"We heard what you did…saving Meredith and all."

"I didn't save her," I mumbled to myself.

"Well still…that was so brave Derek." She gave me a smile then gasped when she saw the blood on my jacket. "Oh God…you need to have that cleaned off." She reached for my jacket but I jerked away.

"NO! No Addison, stop!"

She instantly pulled her hand away then took a step back. Looking down at her feet she whispered, "Sorry that must've been hard on you."

I shook my head, took a deep breath then walked into the bathroom. Leaning my head against the door, I closed my eyes and tried my best to envision Meredith. It wasn't too difficult considering I thought about her every night for the past two weeks. Suddenly, I head a small knock on the door.

"Derek, Derek open up! I'm sorry…"

I sighed then hesitantly opened the door for Addison. She stumbled inside then looked me straight in the eye.

"Are you okay?"

I bit my bottom lip. I couldn't lash out on Addison, I had to compose myself. "Am I okay? What do you think? A few hours ago I was holding a dead body…Meredith's body. A few hours ago I thought I lost her forever." I paused then ran my hands through my hair. "No, Addie…I'm not okay."

She swallowed hard then took a step closer to me. "You kissed her didn't you?"

I looked at her and blinked. "What? How did you know?"

She let out a small laugh. "I can tell. You don't look at me the same way you look at her. I could tell."

"And…?"

She tucked her lips in then crossed her arms firmly over her chest. In a shaky voice, she sighed, "And it's okay. I'm not mad. I understand and forgive you because what I am about to tell you is ten times worse than what you did…"

My eye brows furrowed together. "What?"

She clenched her jaw then slowly said, "I'm pregnant…and Mark's the father."

A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!!! And any questions you have will be answered in the next chapter