Saiyan Jabs

Author: Edward Tudor

Rating: K+ to M

Warnings: Yaoi, homosexuality, m-preg, AU, crossdressing, etc, etc; you HAVE been warned

Summary: Quick one-shot stories randomly written prompted by one word. Goku/Vegeta only (seme/uke)

Mouse

T

He had never felt like this before; at least, not that he could remember of. Goku had always somehow managed to confuse his genders. He never knew who was male and who was female and it was very difficult for him to tell just by looking. Everyone (including himself) had chalked it up to him being secluded in the wilds when he was a little boy, but he later learnt that was not the case.

He couldn't tell the difference between male and female because they were humans. It seemed odd that he came to such a conclusion, but there was no way around it.

Especially not when he met Vegeta!

He remembered when he first caught sight of her. At first, he had seen Nappa and knew he was male. He also knew he wasn't the leader. But as he turned to face Vegeta, his eyes popped, his jaw dropped and he was very certain he had his first influx of male hormones.

Quite literally, as he remembers, his first thought as he caught sight of her was:

'Hubba-hubba-wa-wa-WOW!'

She was gorgeous! Small, petit and full of life and lush curves. Her bosom as also perky and full and, despite being smaller than the rest of the warriors on the battlefield, she exuded more power than them. Goku never knew he had a vision of the perfect woman in his head, but he did and she was standing right in front of him.

But it was more than just her appearance that caught his eye. She stood tall and proud; a formidable woman that took no nonsense and would put you down with a single bitch slap just to prove it. While she was beautiful, she also had something that tugged at his heartstrings and Goku instantly fell in love with her.

It broke his heart when he had to beat her to defend his friends, family and planet and it torn his hearts to shreds when, on her deathbed on Namek, she confessed her terrible life story. Not only was she a vision, but she was a very strong woman; very strong all-round. He had been ecstatic to see brought back to live by Porunga, though a little hurt to know he probably wouldn't see her again.

His time in space had given him time to think. Goku knew he liked her more than just a fellow fighter or because she was a pretty face. For the first time ever, he found himself unable to stop thinking about someone. He tried to remind himself that he had a wife and a son waiting for him on Earth, but all he could wonder was if she was waiting for him. Vegeta had captured his heart without knowing it and, in acknowledging that he had fallen in love, he had to also acknowledge that he never cared for Chichi in the same manner and, from there on, their marriage was doomed.

On his return, Goku had smiled pleasantly at her (looking sexy in a fluorescent pink shirt and sickly green pants should be illegal even if it did prove that Vegeta looked lovely enough to make even a potato sack look like a fashionable dress) and tried to avoid her, but it proved futile. Gohan had taken a liking to her seeing as she knew about their race and could give him some insight, so avoiding her was next to impossible.

To add to that, he found he started to get annoyed with Chichi's harping. It was strange, considering how he had been able to block it out before, but now it grated on his nerves.

But Goku was no fool; he knew it was because he was comparing Chichi to Vegeta and she just didn't hold any appeal to him. Vegeta may have complained about a lot of things, but it was mostly regarding the human race. She considered them 'weaklings', anyways, so it was nothing more than an odd reminder that she was better than them. Chichi complained about Goku, about their house, about Gohan, about other people's children, about their friends, about the weather, about the cost of food, about how Goku never takes her out anywhere…it did get a bit much.

Goku may not have know how or why he suddenly fell head over heels for Vegeta, but he did know that the more he got to know her, bad side and all, the more he wanted to be with her. She was so…mousey. Small, fuzzy and ever so adorable! She even squeaked when Goku ITed into the GR while she was training! She nibbled (at a Saiyan rate) and roamed around Capsule Corp late at night. She even made a little nest on her bed out of the sheets and blankets and, when she looked confused, got a this cute blank look on her face.

While she may have been like cute, beautiful mouse, she was also very strong. Physically, Vegeta could put up more of a challenge than his friends and he didn't have to be careful not to hurt her. Not that he wasn't, but he didn't have to constantly remind himself that he was stronger than her so he should go easier on her. Vegeta also had a strong character. She was stubborn, proud and terribly arrogant, but that was all on the surface. He had seen how soft she could be towards Gohan, and how she practically melted under Bunny's warm, motherly affection.

But, more than that, Goku knew that she liked him, too. Of course, Krillin pointed this out to him. While it made him so unbelievably happy, it also made him worry. Krillin had pointed out that he was married. This led to a very deep conversation and, for the first time, Goku didn't know what to do.

"I just…I love her, Krillin," he admitted. "I don't know why. I guess it's a lot of little things, really. But being with her makes me feel different from being around Chi. I love Chi, but not like Vegeta. I only married Chi because I promised her! You know that. I was…pretty indifferent to the whole thing."

"But now that Vegeta's come along, it's different?" Krilling asked. His tone wasn't judging; just curious.

"I guess," Goku shrugged. "With Vegeta, I feel whole and complete. Yeah, I do get mad at her sometimes for the things she says, but I still like her even after all that. She's just…perfect to me."

"Well," Krillin rubbed his shaven head, confused. "Not that I condone this or anything, but you did recognize her as a girl. I remember when you couldn't tell. You still can't, to be truthful. Vegeta must be something special for you to look like someone smacked you across the face with a 2 000kg mallet!"

Goku chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, I'm married to Chichi and she'd be really mad to find out that I love someone else and not her. In fact, I think she'd be more mad to find out I never loved her like she thought I did in the first place!"

"No kidding, man! Hmmm," he hummed. "Well, I know Vegeta likes you…"

"She does?" he perked up, looking like a happy puppy.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes. "She obviously does. She talks to you a lot more and even though she's kinda rude to you at times, it reminds me a lot of when boys' call girls' names because they like them but don't know how to tell them otherwise."

"But…how come she didn't let me know?"

"Honestly, she looked very interested in you before Yamcha told her you were married, then she kinda backed off. But still, she's still talking to you and looks like she likes you. I mean, really likes you. I think she just doesn't want to be the 'other woman'." Goku cocked his head at this, not really understanding what he meant by that. "I mean, she doesn't want to be second to Chichi. You're married to Chichi so even if you did tell her that you loved her, Chichi would always come first in everything before her. And if anything bad happened at your household, Chichi would blame Vegeta for the break in the family."

"That's true," he admitted. "Vegeta doesn't play second banana to anyone. I mean, she's the strongest woman on Earth by over ten million chi and still she's fighting with me to become the strongest fighter on Earth!" Krillin chuckled at this.

"Yeah, I know."

"But that still explain what I'm going to do! I really love Vegeta, Krillin!"

Krillin hummed again.

"Well, there are two ways around this."

"Really?"

"The first is to have an affair or keep Vegeta as your girlfriend, but that will definitely end in disaster. Everyone would hold Vegeta responsible for the break in the family and you'll also be seen as the bad guy."

"Not that it isn't already something like that…"

"True. The second I think is a lot better, really."

"What?"

"Well, you love Vegeta and you want to be with her, so why don't you just divorce Chichi?"

"WHAT?" he yelped. "B-but…but that's no different from the first idea!"

"No, it is. True, you'll still be the bad guy, but this way Vegeta won't get any blame. To have an affair is like keeping your marriage as a convenience. By divorcing, you're not only getting out of a marriage you don't feel anything for, but you're able to freely pursue the woman you love."

Goku had contemplated this. No matter which way he went, it would always be awkward. But Krillin did have a point; at least with a divorce, there'd be no strings attached. He'd be free to love Vegeta without hiding and he could make an honest woman out of her, too. He could actually marry someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with instead of settling down just because it was expected.

He looked at the divorce papers in his hands as he stood outside his house. It was going to be one hell of a bumpy ride from here on, and it would definitely get worse before it got better, but it would all be worth it.

He knew it would definitely be worth it for his Little Mouse.

He just hoped to Kami she didn't find out that was what he nicknamed her!

AN: I seem to envision female Vegeta small and petit, but with amazing sized ta-ta's for her frame. Or it could be all the gender bending fan art…