Chapter 16: With this heart I shall break

(BPOV)

Edward and I finally got back to his house. He took my hand and we went straight to his room.

I would be sleeping there tonight, like any other night I had stayed here. Only this time was different. Edward now knows how I feel about him.

I went straight into the shower when we reached his bedroom; I wanted to wash "Jacob's scent" off me. Even if I didn't think he smelled bad, Edward did.

I washed my body with the strawberry body wash that Alice had bought me to go along with my favorite strawberry shampoo. She had gotten me the whole lotion set and all.

I think that Edward must have told her liked it, and I think she really likes the idea of Edward and I together.

After I let all the hot water run over my body till the water ran cold, I wrapped a towel around my hair and then other around my body.

I dried everything off, rubbed myself down with my lotion, and brushed the tangle out of my long brown hair. I was so glad that I wasn't Alice's Bella Barbie tonight.

All that was on my mind was Edward. I looked around and realized that I had forgotten to pick up my pajamas.

I could do one of two things, I could ask Edward to grab my things and hand them to me at the door or I could go into the bed room with the towel wrapped around me and grab them myself.

Either way I felt the blush rising in my cheeks and knew how embarrassed I was. Edward's going to think that I'm not only clumsy but also a dummy too.

I took a deep breath and opened the door to go and get my clothes. I didn't want Edward going through my things (my underwear and stuff) now did I, well no?

When I opened the door I smelled lavender scented candled and saw that they were lit all over the room.

As I looked farther I saw that Edward had red long stem roses all over also. On the night stand was a plate of chocolate covered strawberries and some white grape juice.

"How sweet, Edward," I said out loud forgetting that he was probably in the room. I looked around and saw that he wasn't.

I smiled, grabbed my things, and ran back into the bathroom. I threw on my new pink cami set Alice had bought me. Then I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and headed back into the bedroom.

Edward was there on his sofa waiting for me. He smiled his crooked smiled, walked over, and kissed my hand.

"Bella, love, do you like chocolate covered strawberries?"

"Yes," I whispered back to him. His eyes never left mine as he pulled me over to his bed.

"E-Edward," I stuttered, "I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet." I felt like such a little girl and didn't want Edward to hate me but I wasn't ready.

"Love, don't think I'm ready for that either." He said as he cracked a smile that melted my heart.

"Thank you, Edward. I really lo-like you and just want to take it slow." I said to him.

"Bella, can we still kiss? I really like you, too." 'No, Bella, I don't just like you, I'm in love with you. Is what I wanted to say?'

I leaned into him, our lips met, and sparks flew. "I would love that, Edward."

He fed me a few more strawberries and then, he licked the chocolate off the corners of my mouth.

"Would you like some white grape juice, love?" I smiled and Edward handed me a glass.

Then he raised his and nodded for me to do the same. "To us and our bright future together for all time."

"Do you mean it, Edward? For all time, like in forever?"

His smile turned into a frown. He was not happy with the question. I knew he was a vampire and I also knew that he was one and will always be one.

My heart broke when I saw how he reacted to my question. Did he not love me like I loved him? Did my prince not wish to spend all of eternity with me?

"Edward, I'm going to go and brush my teeth now and get ready for bed. Thank you for the candles, the flowers, the strawberries, and juice but now I must say goodnight."

I got up and walked as fast as I could without falling over my own feet to the bathroom. A safe haven, as soon I was inside and the door closed I felt the tears fall down my face.

My heart wanted Edward now and forever. I needed him. I had turned my back on my best friend for him. I know Jacob loves me and would want to be with me forever.

"Bella, please open the door. You don't understand."

"Please, just leave me alone, Edward."

"I can't Bella, you need to understand why, I don't want you to be like me. Bella, please I love you and I want you forever. Just you're human forever."

Did he just say he loves me? Maybe I want to be more like him and less like me. He's beautiful and great, me, I'm plain and boring.

I don't even know why he likes me. Then another round of tears fell down my face.

"Bella, open the door, I can open if you don't, but Esme will be mad if I break the door frame."

I opened the door and walked right pass Edward and climbed into bed. His bed. All I wanted was his arms around me.

It was almost like he could read my mind even though he said he can't. He climbed in and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

I breathed him in and felt a little dizzy. "Bella, will you listen now?" I looked up into his eyes, they looked so sad.

"Alright, Edward."

"Bella, I want you to be with you for forever, I just don't want you to be...a monster like me."

"Edward, you're not a monster, please don't say that you are." I looked him in his eyes and told him that I loved him. "We can talk about this later, Edward. Will you just hold me tonight?"

Then he kissed my nose and my forehead. I reached up and kissed his lips and he kissed me back. This is how we spent the next few hours till sleep took me over. I woke up and Edward was still holding me.

"Did you sleep well, love?" I smiled and he kissed my nose.

"The best night of sleep ever." I told him.

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Thanks for reading. Please review. Thanks to my Beta Strawberry9212 (smile)