Saiyan Jabs

Author: Edward Tudor

Rating: K+ to M

Warnings: Yaoi, homosexuality, m-preg, AU, crossdressing, etc, etc; you HAVE been warned

Summary: Quick one-shot stories randomly written prompted by one word. Goku/Vegeta only (seme/uke)

Make up

T

Vegeta stared at the small black tube in her fingers. It looked very peculiar and harmless at the same time; something she was somewhat accustomed to. Within was what Bulma called 'lipstick'. Vegeta didn't know what was with the funny name (probably a human thing), but from what she gathered from demonstration was that it was really pigmentation for the lips, though it could even be used on the cheeks. While she had been fascinated with this 'lipstick' (as well as the blusher and foundation, the mascara not so much), to her it was quite pointless.

That is, until Bulma insisted that if not worn, women are not attractive to men.

This is wherein the mystery of this 'make-up' lay in. It was why she was twirling the tube in her hands as she wait for Goku to show up for their courtly spars. She couldn't understand how a product used to changed facial appearances determined whether or not others found you attractive, but she wasn't going to just sit and think for herself. Neither Bulma nor Bunny had been or any help, and she certainly wouldn't ask Yamcha for his opinion! So that left Kakarot.

She felt a tad…insecure about asking him, though. No doubt he would answer her question, but what if what Bulma said was true? Would she look a fool in his eyes for asking the most obvious of things? She really didn't want to, not after how far they've come in their relationship.

Vegeta didn't understand the concept of divorce; in Saiyan culture, there was no such thing. Once you picked a mate, you were stuck with them until one of you died. As far as she had gleaned when Kakarot 'divorced' Chichi, it was when the bond between the two was broken and they became separate entities again; free to explore life without caring about what the other thought.

At first, Vegeta felt quite sympathetic towards Kakarot. It was obvious he wasn't happy with the hellcat and he had to resort to such drastic measure to get away. She still didn't quite understand why he didn't just kill her (her screeching was enough to annoy the deaf!), but she supposed it had to do with Gohan. Saiyan as the boy was, he was still bonded to his mother.

Then, a mere month later, Kakarot started courting her! Vegeta had been…surprised to say the least. It started off quite simply; he would pop around with a little gift, make small talk and then leave. She knew quite instantly what was going on, but didn't push it. She liked Kakarot, but he just had a divorce. She did not want to be the rebound girl! But, over time, he gradually wore her down by simply listening to her. He appeared to take note of certain things she said and would sometimes bring gifts similar to what she spoke of. He even helped her, even when she yelled at him that she didn't need his help and she could do it herself.

He liked her, and she liked him. That much was obvious. But she was scared. What if Kakarot liked her, but didn't find her attractive? His 'like' wouldn't last very long, would it? Did he find make-up attractive? Would he find her more appealing if she wore the waxy stuff? All these questioned Vegeta needed answers to, but she couldn't bring herself to ask them. She was still wary of being weak in front of others, even Kakarot! So, instead, she devised to ask him broader, less specific, answer.

Did he find make-up painted females attractive?

No sooner had she firmed her resolution than did Kakarot drop from the sky.

"Hey, 'Geta!" he chirped. She looked at him. For a burly man who was twice her size, he looked very much like a young boy meeting new friends.

"Kakarot."

"Were you waiting long? I'm sorry if you were, but Chichi has been giving me hell." Vegeta rolled her eyes and sighed. She hated speaking of his 'ex' but knew he held no strong feelings for her. If anything, he spoke about her in an exasperated and annoyed manner. It seemed to cheer him up a little when he got whatever it was off his chest.

"About me, I presume?"

"Yeah, she won't let up. It's crazy! I mean, she's got a boyfriend now and constantly gloats about how much money he has and all the things he can buy for her, but she also complains and says it's your fault and acts as though she was an innocent victim!"

"I can see your aggravation," she nodded. "That woman knows she had a part to play. I assume she's just being a bitch because she doesn't want to acknowledge that part of the relationship falling apart was her own fault."

"Yeah, I guess," he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I just wished she would leave me alone. She always calls to gloat and complain because I never call her. It's getting on my nerves!"

"I don't understand why you haven't killed her," she simpered. It may have sounded callous, but Kakarot apparently knew he well enough to know what she meant.

"Aw, come on, Vegeta. You know I couldn't do that. It's Gohan's mother, and it's not that big a deal. It may take a while, but this whole thing will eventually blow over."

"You seem so sure," she narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"That's 'cos I am!" he cheerily said. "Even if she doesn't stop, I've got you so her constant complaining won't matter much."

Vegeta tried to hide her blush with a scowl, but she was sure Kakarot could see it.

"Oh, hey, what's that you got there?" he was looking at the tube of lipstick. Vegeta swallowed hard; taking the great plunge.

"Kakarot, what do you think about make-up?"

Kakarot stared quite blankly at her before looking terribly confused and floundering for an answer.

"Ah…erm…why do you ask, 'Geta?"

"I ask because the woman has introduced me to this 'make-up', but I am uncertain as to how others will perceive it."

"Sooo, why ask me?" Now Vegeta turned bright red, grumbling and cursing under her breath.

"Because…because I trust you."

"Huh?"

"I trust you."

"Wha…"

"I said because I trust you, you overgrown barbarian!" she yowled. "Now are you going to tell me what you think about this make-up or not?"

The look she was giving was a multiple cross of amazed, overjoyed and still very confused. She could hazard a guess why he was overjoyed; she had completely blown being subtle. Even a moron like him could understand what she was getting at now!

"Humm…okay, let's see," he said. "You wanna know what I think of make-up, right?" she nodded, cheeks burning fiercely. "And not just in their containers, but on people, right?" she growled; he was testing her patience, but she nodded again. "Well, to be honest, I don't really think much about it, but I don't think I like it too much."

She stared at him, befuddled and annoyed by his answer.

"What do you mean, Kakarot? Do you like it or don't you?"

"Well, I like what make-up can do. Like when you go see a show at the theatre or at the circus! Their make-up is really outlandish, but it looks good because it's all part of the show! On girls', well, it makes them look nice, but I wouldn't want to touch them." Vegeta blinked down, curious.

"How so?"

"Well, if I wanted to touch her face," his hands came up and gently cupped her cheek. Vegeta froze and felt her face heat up tenfold. "Then I wouldn't want to because the foundation would come off into my hands. If I wanted to look into her eyes," his dark obsidians locked with her own and she found her heart thudding quite hard and fast in her chest and there was a thunderous roar of blood in her ears. "I'd be obscured by thick coated lashes and the sparkling colour of the eyeshadow. And if I wanted to kiss her," here, Vegeta started trembling. She swallowed hard as Kakarot leaned down until his lips were a few scant centimetres away, hoping he wouldn't but wishing he would. "Then I wouldn't be able to because I'll be tasting wax and not her." She whimpered, eyes pinned by his and quivering like a rabbit cornered by a hungry wolf. Slowly, he pulled back, just enough for her to see his whole face. "Did that answer your question, 'Geta?"

She blinked, suddenly very aware that she was very hot, very aroused and very, very angry that he got her excited and didn't do anything about it! She was incensed! How dare he pull away at such a crucial moment! He may have wanted to play games, and she may have been willing to oblige, but this had been going on for too long, and she wasn't going to allow him to be a courtly gentleman after that!

She grabbed him quite violently by the front of his gi; eyes smoldering and revelling in the look of nervousness she was given.

"Firstly, yes, Kakarot, you answered my question," she purred. "Secondly, don't start something you can't finish otherwise I'll make damn sure that you do!" With that, she tossed the tube of lipstick over her shoulder and yanked Kakarot down to give him one of the best kisses he's ever received.

AN: blar-de-blar. Could have done better