Name: MIRAGE

Author: Sdfreeze

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

This story was last published on 6/18/10.

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Chapter: 5

Appearances

"You are not leaving here and I am just the person to stop you," Rose said.

Alice looked nervous and about to cry. She was not about to referee a fight between me and Rosalie, not that it would be much of a fight, she could drop me with one move.

"I never asked for your protection and I am a free citizen, you can't keep me here," I said, hoping the threat would somehow convince her.

"Sue me," she smiled.

"Let's all calm down," Alice proposed.

"You calm down, I'm leaving," I said and marched outside and down the dock to the boat. I stared at the ocean, having no idea where I was or which way to Puerto Rico. I stood there and cried. I hated Edward Cullen for coming into my life and making me love him. I would have been better off in the clutches of the Denali family.

Alice walked up behind me and put her arm around me. "How could he do that?" I asked her. "He told me he loved me."

"He does love you, but he has a difficult job," she said but I could tell by her voice she wasn't buying it either.

"Yeah, difficult, how does he manage to sleep with beautiful women, it must be awful for him?"

"I think you should at least talk to him, see what he has to say," she suggested.

"I can't, he'll talk his way out of it and just hurt me again."

I went back into the house and ignored Rosalie all day. I was taking out my frustrations with Edward on her. I knew it wasn't fair but he wasn't here so she would have to do.

Later in the afternoon Alice brought me an email from Jasper. "This is really from Edward to you, it has to go through Jaz because Edward can't put anything in writing."

I took the paper and read:

Dear Alice,

I need you to talk to me so I can explain. I never thought you would see pictures and didn't mean to hurt you. Please take my next call. I will try to be there in two weeks but please don't give up on me if it turns out to be longer.

I love you and I miss you so much,

Jasper

I went to the computer and typed out an email for Jasper to pass along.

I don't need to hear your explanation, the pictures speak for themselves. You think it is okay because the checks come from the government and they call you an agent. Call it what you want, but being paid to sleep with women is prostitution and you aren't an agent, you're a whore.

And just so you know, even upscale hotels don't always clean the sheets, hotel pools are known to have higher concentrations of urine than public pools, and one out or every four restaurants have employees who have admitted to spitting in the food.

So suck on that!

"Is that true?" Alice asked. I wasn't aware she was standing over my shoulder and it startled me. I jumped and gave her a glare and hit send.

"I have no idea, but I know he will stew over it for months."

"You are so wicked," she laughed.

I laughed too when an email came right back from Jasper. Is that true?

I heard a boat at that moment and ran over to the window. "Who's that?"

Rose came into the room with a trash bag. "It is the service boat. They will drop off supplies and pick up our trash. They are not allowed to come onto the island so everything has to be on the dock."

"When do they come?" I asked her.

"Every Wednesday and Saturday."

I had my plan already half formed. There was no way I was going to sit here and wait for Edward to show up and use his charm to change my mind. I was getting off this damn island even if I had to be trash to do it.

I didn't think Edward would be as persistent as he was. I got another email the next morning. It was sent to Alice as if from Jasper again and I hated the fact she got to read them before me.

Alice,

Unfortunately, my job is all about appearances. Let me assure you things are not as they appear, but I do have to be discreet with our relationship. If you would talk to me you would understand. Just so you know I will be photographed with Lauren again soon, don't freak out about it, please.

I purchased a black light to carry with me to hotel rooms to check for clean sheets, I purchased a kit to test the pool water and I am only eating where I can see the food being prepared. Are you happy now!

I love you and I miss you,

Jasper

I couldn't stand the thought of seeing him on the arm of a gorgeous famous woman when I struggled just to look like I wasn't a high school kid. I was feeling insecure and ordinary around all these pretty, successful women. I decided to be honest with Edward and stop trying to one up him.

I'm alone and scared. I am surrounded by my biggest fear in life and can't even enjoy being outside. I miss you terribly and then turn on the computer and see you looking at some woman the way you looked at me. I don't know what is real anymore. I am not sophisticated enough to see the world through skewed appearances. My reality is you are not here, but with another woman, can't you understand how much that hurts?

I sent the email and went outside to lie in a hammock. Alice came out and climbed up next to me. "I'm sorry, Bella, you didn't ask for any of this."

I cried in her arms and we swayed back and forth in the breeze. I was surprised when Rose came out and said, "Edward called, I told him not to call again until he pulled his head out."

"I don't mean to make you guys mad at him, you've been friends for so long," I cried.

"Edward is a good agent, Bella," Rose explained, "Because he is selfish. If he wants it to work it out with a woman he needs to learn to give a little more. I think in the long run you will be good for him."

"I can't keep his interest," I said wiping my eyes. "Why would he want me when he has women like Tanya and Lauren?"

"He only views them as a job," Alice said.

"I wonder if this is what ruined my parent's marriage," I said mostly to myself. They just remained quiet and I began to cry again. I cried for my father hidden away by the agency he worked for, and for my mother who loved him but couldn't live a life of secrets. I felt like I was repeating her mistake.

"Just give him a chance to explain when he gets here," Rose said.

"He's coming?" I asked in surprise.

"Not right now, I mean the next time he comes," she said as she noticed how my hope diminished.

We spent the next few days exploring the island and having movie nights and giving each other manicures. It was fun having girls to hang out with, but my heart still missed Edward. On Saturday morning I heard the supply boat. I grabbed the trash and my back pack and ran down to the dock.

"Hi guys, I'm supposed to go with you today," I lied.

They gave me a funny look but only shrugged. I climbed into the boat with my heart beating wildly and wanted to scream at them to hurry up and leave. Instead they took their time unloading boxes onto the dock and slowly pulled away.

I stared back for any sign of Rose or Alice but they never appeared on the dock while it was still in view. The boat took me to St. Thomas where I caught a flight to Orlando using my fake documents. I took a cab to my mother's house and watched the look of shock cross her face before grabbing me and screaming like a teenager herself.

I had to hope my father wouldn't rat me out and tell them where my mother lived. I had never mentioned it to Edward or Senator Cullen and wanted to disappear in a way that was convenient for me. I worried about bringing my mother into the middle of this since she was not a strong person. Her husband was just as flighty as she was so they saw nothing wrong with me just showing up.

I went to bed, and stayed there for three solid days. My mom would bring me a tray of food and I would only get up to shower the grease off my body. Edward would be mortified to know I was eating in bed and sleeping with wet hair. But Edward wasn't here, and never would be, so I didn't care if mildew grew off my locks and mice made themselves at home in my sheets.

I was staring at the small television in my room when pictures showed up of Lauren and her latest conquest. They were supposedly deep in love and her father, who happened to be the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company under investigation for breaking antitrust laws, couldn't be happier about the talk of marriage.

Edward smiled lovingly at Lauren as she stared lustfully into his eyes. I threw my half eaten hot pocket at the screen and watched it splat and then drip disgustingly down the dresser. My rage motivated me to get up, clean up, and get back into the world.

I was dressed up when my mother came home from work and asked to borrow the car. I was determined to come home with a job and hoped my new credentials would work well enough to pass a Human Resources scrutiny.

I was hired by a small dress shop in a local mall, not my career choice, but it would do for now. I would be playing a high school student and felt sick to my stomach when a coworker asked me to go to a basketball game with her on the weekend.

High school was painful enough without having to repeat it. I told her my mother was not feeling well so I would have to get back to her. I was putting clothes on a new rack when a group of boys in letter jackets walked in.

"Hi," one said, "I'm Mike Newton."

"Hi," I answered and tried to act shy.

"That's my sister," he said pointing at a girl I was working with.

I nodded, not sure where he was going with the whole thing.

"What's your name?" he asked and it angered me. He could plainly see my name tag but was wanting my attention.

I pointed to my badge and moved to another rack.

"I never see you at school, Ariel," he pressed on.

"I'm home schooled," I told him without looking up.

"Are you dating anyone?" he asked.

"Edward Cullen," a coworker squealed and my head shot up. She was holding a gossip magazine with an entire photo spread of Lauren and her new man. I walked over to look at what she was squealing over.

"I can tell he doesn't like her," the girl added. "Look at how he doesn't even look in her direction unless he knows they are being photographed. Maybe I can steal him away," she said before kissing his picture.

I wanted to tell her if her father would embezzle from an international bank she may actually have a shot. I went back to work and back to Mike's constant shadowing. I was sinking into a really low funk and finding it difficult to even be nice to the customers.

When the crowd cleared out I picked up the magazine and studied the pictures. Edward looked tired and I felt a little sorry for him. I read through the article and it made me laugh. Lauren mentioned their Sunday's were spent in bed with her lover, where they would stay for the day and eat their meals.

"Liar," I chuckled.

I read about a promotional tour she was taking for her latest movie and they would be making a stop in Orlando at a prominent talk show. I decided to get tickets and see if Edward showed up with her. It would be my one chance to tell him off without being stuck under his control.

Oh Shoot

The weeks leading up to the show were excruciating. I didn't want to spend them sitting at home, but joining Mike and his friends was so awful. How do boys in high school even get dates? They are so immature and have no idea how to treat girls. It just made me miss Edward all the more.

I showed up early to the Orlando station and began to panic when I was placed in the front row. I begged them to let me sit in the back but we had to sit in the order we lined up in. I was kicking myself for showing up early.

I was disinterested in everything but Lauren and when it was time to introduce her I was shaking like a leaf. She walked out to a thunderous applause and I watched her every move for tale tale signs of deception. It wasn't hard to find.

During the commercial break they brought out Edward. His appearance stunned me, he was pale and so thin, and his face was drawn and tired. He only glanced at the audience and kept his head down most of the time.

The host invited him to sit on the couch and I noticed how he didn't put his arm around Lauren until the cameras came back on. The subject of Tanya was instantly brought up and he was asked if he sought out wealthy women. He was charming and talked about being part of the Washington social scene and getting the opportunity to meet beautiful daughters of powerful men.

When he was asked about ever dating just a regular girl he chuckled hatefully. "I know one girl who you would classify as 'regular' but I considered her anything but regular."

The audience exploded in applause and I watched as his head lowered and he took a deep breath. During the commercial break he removed his arm and sat with his head down as Lauren teased with the audience.

The next segment had the audience asking questions. Girls ran to the microphone and asked all kinds of stupid questions. One had the nerve to ask Edward to remove his shirt. He smiled politely but declined. I made my shaking legs carry me to a microphone and didn't bother getting in line.

I grabbed the mic off the stand and said, "Do you swim to stay in shape like that?"

Edward's head snapped up and looked into the crowd searching for who asked the question. He nervously smiled and said yes he did swim for the cardiac benefits. "Isn't there urine in hotel pools?" I asked further.

He jumped up from the couch and put his hand over his eyes to block the lights. Lauren stood and grabbed his free hand and began pulling him back with her. She looked scared and Edward looked stunned.

The host looked into the crowd and asked, "Is this someone who knows Edward?"

"No," I answered, "I'm just a regular girl." I handed the microphone to the girl waiting in line and headed out of the studio.

I heard footsteps running after me and turned around to find Edward coming towards me. He never slowed down and crashed into me, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around.

I began to cry and held him tightly forgetting about my anger for the time being. He buried his face in my neck and I could feel his own tears. When he kissed my neck lightly I pushed away, "Don't you dare," I warned him.

He didn't laugh but only stared at my face like he was dreaming. "Where have you been?" he said in a choked voice.

"I told you it wasn't my idea of paradise," I smiled.

"Do you know how many people are looking for you?" he said angrily.

"Do you know how much I don't give a shit," I said just as angrily.

"Why wouldn't you talk to me?" he asked and I was reminded of why I was even here.

"I can't do this, maybe you can, but I can't. If you love me you can't spend Sunday's in bed with other women," I said as I pulled out of his arms.

"That isn't true, you know that," he said as stepped closer to me.

"The problem is, Edward, I don't want to spend my life trying to figure out what is true and what isn't. If she is telling people you are lovers than that is reality for me. I saw her neck," I pointed out.

"That was a makeup artist trying to make us look real. I told them to do that," he said in desperation.

"If your mixing up her life to keep her father unfocused why would she agree to a fake hickey," I asked as I crossed my arms.

"She is being blackmailed, this has nothing to do with me trapping her father; the guy is already caught. If you would have just talked to me when I called," he said in frustration.

"It wouldn't have made a difference, Edward. I can't watch you do this job, it isn't worth it to me; can't they find another playboy for the agency?"

"My job is important," he said in anger, "and I'm damn good at it."

I shook my head and back away from him more, "You better get back to the set, your job is waiting."

Just as I turned I saw a flash of red that made me freeze to my spot. The narrow hallway began to move in slow motion as two people blocked the path behind Edward and slowly lifted their guns. I could see the flash of smoke as the bullets shot from the gun and I felt my body being sent into the air as Edward dove onto me.

The burning pain hit my arm and leg as I hit the ground in a crush of weight. I could hear screaming and sounds of footsteps all around me but I couldn't breath with Edward's dead weight on top of me.

I tried to push him but I screamed out in pain from my arm. I grabbed his hair with my good arm and pulled his head up to look at me. He was white and his eyes wouldn't open. I screamed his name and became aware of blood pooling around my hurt arm.

Someone finally pulled Edward off of me and lay him on the hallway floor. I saw his shirt red with blood and looked to see if it was mine that was covering him. Someone ripped Edward's shirt off to reveal a bullet proof vest, but blood was dripping from just above his hip where the vest didn't reach.

I dragged my body next to his and noticed the smear of blood that came with me. Someone told me to hold still and they began cutting my jeans to reveal a seeping hole in my thigh. My left arm was lying lifeless at my side and my right arm was holding onto Edward.

"Is he alive?" I asked in a panic but nobody would answer me. Lauren came screaming down the hallway and grabbed onto Edward and began kissing him and crying.

"Don't touch him," I screamed at her, but she only ignored me and asked if she could go with him in the ambulance.

"No," I screamed, " He's my boyfriend.

Everyone looked at me like I was a deranged fan and Edward was lifted onto a stretcher and rolled away.

I was next and I kept trying to get someone to listen to me. When I was rolled outside and I saw some police officers so I yelled for one. "I know the shooters," I screamed, making him walk over to me.

"It was James and Victoria Denali," I said quickly. "Tanya Denali is Edward's ex wife."

He wrote the information down and I was loaded into an ambulance. "Am I going to the same hospital as Edward?" I asked.

"I don't know," the young paramedic told me. "We are two different companies and it depends on your insurance."

"I don't care about insurance, take me where ever they are taking him," I screamed.

The bullet in my arm went straight through without hitting any bone but the one in my leg lodged in the muscle of my thigh. I wasn't put totally out for it's removal and could feel the tugging on my leg as they sewed me back up. It didn't hurt but it was uncomfortable.

I was wheeled into a room with police guards outside the door and before my own mother could visit Rosalie stormed through the door.

"I am so pissed at you I could shoot you myself," she yelled.

"Save it, how's Edward?" I asked in a panic.

"He's still in surgery," she said sadly.

"Is there any doubt he will make it?" I asked, as I searched her eyes for the truth.

"I honestly don't know. Jasper is down there and I came right up to yell at you. Do you have any idea how worried your father is?"

"You've seen him?" I asked in hope.

"Yeah, I have and you are pretty much disinherited," she laughed.

"Damn, I really wanted that stolen blood money the Denali's paid him," I said in disgust.

"Why did you run, Bella?"

"I didn't want to be stuck on that island obsessing over Edward twenty-four seven. I don't live in the world you guys live in and I can't pretend my life away. Do you guys even really know who you are anymore?"

"We make it possible for you to live in your world. People like us have to exist," she insisted.

"But I don't have to like it, or exist with you," I said hatefully.

"If you love Edward like you say you do, you will have to find a way to exist with us. He is a good agent and you shouldn't force him to choose between you and his job."

"Are you ever going to have children, Rose?"

"Someday, not anytime soon," she admitted.

"And what happens then? Do you quit? Do you endanger their lives and make Emmett play Mr. Mom?"

"We will work it out together, because that is what couples do," she said with force.

"I can't sit in this hospital bed and agree with you. It is bad enough knowing Edward is fighting for his life right now, I can't imagine if it was my child. You told me my dad is so worried, well how do you think he will feel when he finds out I have been shot. This isn't right, Rosalie, you don't do this to people you love."

Her fierce expression softened and she looked at the ground for a minute. A soft knock sounded on the door and Jasper walked in. He gave me a disapproving glare and I interrupted his lecture.

"How's Edward?"

"He's in recovery. The had to removed a portion of his liver but he should recover fully. How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine, when can I see Edward?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "He's on a case and right now, Lauren Is the one allowed to see him, not you."

I sat up with anger and instantly fell back onto the pillow in pain. "You know it is not Lauren he would want to see, my God Jasper, he's been shot."

"He is already in deep shit for getting involved with you, and then when you ran it got me and Rose in trouble. If our boss finds out you are in his room we are getting reprimanded all over again."

"Reprimanded, that is what you are worried about? Did you guys even catch James and Victoria?"

"We're working on it," he said a bit embarrassed.

"Working on it? Well, that makes a world of difference now doesn't it. I've managed to run into them three times, but you guys are working on it," I said to make both Rosalie and Jasper angry.

Jasper exhaled and headed for the door. "Get some rest, Bella, I have to let Lauren know what's going on with Edward."

I stared at him in disbelief. He was actually going to help Lauren keep up the pretense and keep me from Edward. I was furious and also very determined to find a way into Edward's room, if I had to climb up the building and through the window I would do it.

"Rosalie," I said with a plan forming in my head, "I need to see Alice."

Phone Talk

Rose gave me a suspicious look and shook her head. She walked to the door and opened it so I called out to her. "Rose, please help me."

She stopped for a second and finally turned to look at me. "I'll be back; I'm going to get someone who can help you."

I lay in the bed and began trying to move my leg. It made me instantly break into a sweat and I started to cry. I wanted to walk into Edward's room, but if I couldn't even move in my own bed, there was no way I could sneak into his room.

My mom and Phil came running into the room. I could tell by the look on my mother's face this was something she had dealt with over the years. "I tried to call your father," she said with a worried look. I can't find him, is he involved in this?"

"No, mom. I spoke to his the other day," I lied. "He is probably just really busy."

"What happened?" she asked as she hugged me tightly.

"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, I'm really fine, mom."

"Why does everyone at work call you Ariel?" she asked and I began to feel panic rising in my chest.

"I just needed a new start, mom. I felt like trying out a new name."

She sat on the edge of my bed and held my hand, "Bella, I named you after my great grandmother, not the character on Beauty and the Beast."

I began to laugh loudly and assured her I didn't choose Ariel because I thought I was named after Belle. "I just thought since I had drown once it would be a fitting name."

"I should have named you after a cat, since you seem to have nine lives," she chuckled.

"I really don't think I look like a Jerry or a Garfield," I said, thankful she didn't have the opportunity to rename me.

We chatted for almost an hour and she finally left so I could get some rest and to return with my own pajamas.

She was gone for just a few minutes when Rosalie came back to my room. She opened the door and stepped back to let someone step forward. I looked in shock as Lauren walked up to my bed. She was so beautiful up close and I knew why Edward would want to be with her.

"How are you, Bella?" she asked me.

"Good," I mumbled and wondered why in the world I would share pleasantries with her.

"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me," she said sadly.

"You?" I chuckled. "This had nothing to do with you."

"I just meant you were at the studio to see me and then this happened."

"Let me be perfectly clear, I was not there to see you," I said hatefully.

She seemed a bit flustered and as if she was going to cry any second. "Bella, Edward loves you so much, and he is so sad over what is going on with you both."

I felt my mouth fall open and instantly closed it so I wouldn't let her see my shock. "You know about us?" I asked her.

"I am not really dating Edward, I thought you knew that?" she said looking at Rosalie for verification.

"I know he is on a case, but all the pictures and interviews…."

"We would purposely say stuff, so you would know," she said with wide eyes.

"Like eating in bed?" I asked.

She laughed loudly, "Oh man, you know that is not true."

"He's a bit of a germ freak," I chuckled.

"More than a bit," she said as she rolled her eyes. "He is protecting me, Bella, I am being blackmailed for information about a new product my dad's company is working on. They are going to release a really damning video of me, if I don't get them the information. Edward is with me at all times so I can't be accused of exchanging information for the video. Once the product is released he can come back to you."

"Why can't you just go to the police?" I asked her.

"It is extortion and involves a foreign citizen. Edward is only with me so I can't be accused of anything. Other agents are trying to track down the perpetrator."

I nodded but didn't really get the whole thing. "Have you seen, Edward?" I asked her.

"Not yet, have you?" she asked me.

"No and they won't let me, they said only you can go in his room."

At that moment Rosalie's phone rang. She answered and her eyes flashed over to me. I waited as she listened intently on the line and finally headed toward me. She brought the phone up to me and said, "I think you want to take this call."

"Hello?" I said, hoping it was Edward.

"Bells?"

"Dad?" I asked and began to cry.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"Dad, I am so sorry, I messed this all up," I cried.

"I never wanted you mixed up in this, why did you agree?"

"I wanted to help you, Dad. Are you okay? Are you safe?"

"The Denali's are cowards," he said in anger. "They go after a young woman instead of me; I hope they all rot in hell."

"You're safe, aren't you dad?"

"Yeah, they can't get to me. Why aren't you being protected?"

"Um…I was…but I kind of ran away," I said and cringed as I waited for his reaction.

The line was silent, which was much worse than his anger. "Dad?" I finally asked to see if he had hung up on me.

"I'm going to have them bring you to me," he said softly. "I can protect you."

"No, dad. You have to stay sequestered, they win if you don't get to testify. I will listen to them this time, I promise."

Rose raised her eyebrows in surprise, or disbelief, and I sneered at her.

"Dad, I want to ask you something personal and I hope you will be honest with me."

"Anything, Bella."

"Did your job ruin your marriage?"

"No, not at all. Your mother was very supportive, but she didn't like my fishing and hunting. She wasn't an outdoor girl and I slowly began spending more time with the guys than with her. We just grew apart."

I was silently contemplating what he told me when he suddenly had to go. "I love you, dad. I am really proud of you."

"Please be careful Bella, and I'm really proud of you too, you got the jump on an agent and that is not easy. You may have a career in the bureau after all," he laughed.

"Never," I assured him.

I handed the phone back to Rosalie and she hesitated for a moment. "What?" I asked her.

"What did he say about his marriage?" she wondered.

I knew my constant whining was making her afraid of losing Emmett. "Fish," I laughed.

"What?"

"Fish ruined his marriage, not the agency," I told her.

Lauren was standing back and looking out of place. "You better go check on Edward," I told her. "And please let me know how he is doing."

She nodded, then asked, "Do you want me to give him a message?"

I thought for a moment and then said with a smile, "Tell him he is going to have to eat in bed, and I am loving it."

She laughed and left the room. Rosalie sat in a chair and sighed. "Bella, now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be reassigned to you, to redeem myself, but I have to know you will listen and not run off again."

"I won't go back to the island, that is a deal breaker. Can I be Lauren's personal assistant?" I teased.

"Yeah, because no magazine would run a story about the assistant messing around with the boyfriend," she said shaking her head.

I became very sad and began playing with my fingernails. She watched me closely and finally said, "Spill it."

I shook my head and sighed. "Edward and I don't have a relationship," I admitted. "We were caught up in the drama. That is why it was so easy for him to leave."

"I've known Edward for a long time, Bella, he doesn't fall for people on cases. His feelings for you were genuine."

"But we won't last, he loves his job and I hate his job. That doesn't bode too well for a long term relationship."

"If you don't think he is worth fighting for, you are crazy," she said with tears in her eyes.

I felt my own tears form as I stared at her becoming so emotional. She grabbed some tissue and glared at me. "Edward has had a tough time. He was basically ignored by his father, ended up marrying Tanya and being put through hell, and now you want to give up on him. It really pisses me off, Bella."

"I can't even go see him," I said through my own tears.

She got up and stormed out of the room. I gave in to the despair and began to sob. My leg and arm hurt, and I was going to be pulled out of my mom's house and hidden away again. I had to focus on my father and be happy he was safe.

I was wiping my tears when Rosalie came back and handed me a phone. "Who am I supposed to call?"

"That's Lauren's phone. Edward is going to call you."

The phone rang at that moment and I jumped, causing a stabbing pain in my leg. I finally answered the phone with a cry that sounded nothing like hello.

"Hey," I heard him say with emotion.

"My name is not hey," I teased.

"Bella," he whispered.

"Edward," I replied.

"I'm not eating in the damn bed," he said, sounding very tired.

I laughed and then began to cry. "I was so afraid," I admitted.

"I'm going to kill them for this," he said with a weak voice. I instantly hoped they would be caught before Edward could get out of the hospital.

"I want you to stay safe," I told him.

"I'll be fine, I have to find your idea of paradise, and that may take years" he chuckled.

"That's easy, just look at your two arms," I said softly.

"They ache for you," he whispered.

"Get rid of the guys with guns at your door and I'll come share your bed," I said with every intention of doing it.

"You would just bring crackers," he said.

I laughed and then sighed into the phone. I didn't know how I would walk out the hospital door and away from him, for who knows for how long, sharing emails not even addressed to me. I would have to be hidden away for at the very least a year, watching Edward go from case to case, and I knew in my heart I couldn't do it.

"Edward, I love you, but we have to say goodbye, for both of us."

"I can make it right, Bella," he promised.

"Thank you for everything you did for me, but mostly for loving me," I cried into the phone.

"Don't leave me," he cried.

"I don't want you to have to choose," I said, "because I already know what your choice would be. Please let me leave knowing you love me, please just give me that."

His words were becoming slurred and I knew his meds were kicking in, "Edward, sleep baby, you need your rest,"

He mumbled something and Lauren picked up his phone. "Bella, he's out,"

"Thank you, for letting me talk to him. Please take good care of him," I begged.

"I promise," she said, and I hung up the phone.

I handed it back to Rose and she handed me the box of tissue. I wiped my eyes and finally looked at her and said, "I'll do whatever you say."

"I can't guarantee I will be reassigned to you, but I will try my best," she said.

"I can guarantee it, because I won't listen to anyone else. Tell you boss that!"