Shades of Grey
16. Apparition
Disclaimer: If you want to read along and judge how perfectly canon my fanfic is, this chapter starts on page 381 of the American Edition of Half-Blood Prince. (Technically 382, but if you start on 381, you'll see how canon even the weather is, because I'm anal that way.) You can stop following along on page 387. Enjoy!
The following week was one of strangest weeks Rose had ever had. Daphne still refused to talk to her, and Rose had eventually stopped trying to reason with her irrational friend. Additionally, almost everyone else was acting differently. Blaise was oddly hostile, Crabbe and Goyle uncharacteristically polite, and Pansy unexpectedly distant. In fact, the only person that seemed unaffected by recent events was Theodore Nott—though he did seem to be spending a lot more time with Daphne. Even Draco was acting differently than before. Rose knew that the task of the Vanishing Cabinet was really wearing him down, and she shouldn't blame him for being temperamental, but her patience was wearing thin.
On Saturday morning, everyone—including Rose—woke early in anticipation of their first Apparition lesson. Rose dressed quickly in sweat pants and a Holyhead Harpies shirt before rushing down to the common room. Draco was already waiting for her, looking annoyed.
"Morning," he said in a clipped tone.
"Morning," she replied cautiously. "Is something wrong?"
"Isn't it always?" he muttered, leading her out of the common room, Crabbe and Goyle trailing behind, having an argument about the proper way to apply lipstick. The Polyjuice Potion was getting to them.
"Hey, Goyle, I can lend you some pantyhose, if you're in the market," Rose remarked over her shoulder. They shut up.
After breakfast, Rose took Draco outside, hoping to talk to him in private. The ground was wet and muddy, all the snow from the previous weekend having already melted. Upon almost slipping and falling on a patch of mud, Draco cursed and went back inside. Rose followed in defeat. She hadn't had a chance to talk to him at all the past couple of days. He had gone to the Vanishing Cabinet alone several times during the day—skipping class—and didn't ask Rose to come along. The previous night he said he needed to concentrate, and walked off with Crabbe and Goyle in tow as two blonde Ravenclaw second year girls.
It was possible that maybe he did just need to concentrate without her, but Rose had a nagging suspicion it was something else. Or maybe she was just being paranoid, because everyone else seemed to hate her now. Except Crabbe and Goyle, who ran ahead and opened the doors to the Great Hall for them. She stepped into the room she had left just a few minutes ago, and saw that the long House tables were gone. The Heads of Houses and a wispy wizard stood at the front of an assembling crowd. She looked around at the crowd of all the sixth years of Hogwarts. Potter was there with the usual gang of do-gooders. She scowled in their direction—all of this was Potter's fault. Inadvertently, it was all his fault.
"Good morning!" the tiny wizard in front of the professors called. "My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall be your Ministry Apparition Instruction for the next twelve weeks. I hope to be able to prepare you for your Apparition Tests in this time—"
"Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!" barked Professor McGonagall.
Rose looked over her shoulder at Draco, who scowled and stepped away from Crabbe, a slightly pink tinge creeping across his cheeks. Rose gave Draco a questioning look, but he shook his head at her, as though she shouldn't concern herself with his conversation. She ground her teeth, and looked back to Twycross, who continued his lecture.
"—by which time, many of you may be ready to take your tests. As you may know, it is usually impossible to Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts. The headmaster has lifted this enchantment, purely within the Great Hall, for one hour, so as to enable you to practice. May I emphasize that you will not be able to Apparate outside the walls of this Hall, and that you would be unwise to try."
Rose heard Draco grumble something behind her, but couldn't make out the words. She looked over her shoulder again, but all three boys stood in apparent attention.
"I would like each of you to place yourselves now so that you have a clear five feet of space in front of you."
Rose did as she was told, keeping as close to Draco as she could, so as to listen in on the conversation he didn't seem to want her to hear. She could barely hear Crabbe, who was speaking in a low voice. But Draco, growing impatient, spoke loud enough for her to understand his words. Rose saw Potter coming closer to Draco, and raised her eyebrow.
"I don't know how much longer, all right?" Malfoy shot at Crabbe, not noticing Potter standing right behind him.
Rose tried to get Draco's attention, but he didn't see. She waved her hand at Draco, who still seemed to be arguing with Crabbe, who had stopped responding. She stared at Potter as she began approaching, but he was too focused on Draco's words. Being very obvious, there, Potty, she thought.
"Look, it's none of your business what I'm doing, Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you're told and keep a lookout!"
"I tell my friends what I'm up to, if I want them to keep a lookout for me," Potter said suddenly.
Draco spun on the spot, and Rose saw his hand fly to his wand. She stepped forward quickly to stop him, as the Heads of Houses shouted, "Quiet!" Everyone stopped talking, and Rose laid a hand on Draco's arm. He turned to face the front, jaw clenched, hand in his pocket, probably still clutching his wand.
"He's not worth it," Rose whispered to him. "Let it go."
"Easy for you to say," he growled under his breath. "One of these days..."
"You'll rip out his entrails. Yeah, got it."
She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, and went back to her spot, by which a wooden hoop had appeared.
"The important things to remember when Apparating are the three D's!" Twycross went on. "Destination, Determination, Deliberation!"
Then he explained step-by-step how to Apparate to the interior of their hoops. On the first try, Rose only made a fool of herself, by spinning on her heel too hard and falling over. Draco gave her a mocking look, and she stuck her tongue out at him—which just made her feel more foolish. After a couple of tries, a Hufflepuff—Sarah or Susan, Rose thought her name was—tried to Apparate, and left one of her legs behind. Twycross explained that it was called splinching, and it happened when one wasn't focused on their destination. Everyone was horrified, but Rose and Draco fell together in an uncontrollable fit of muffled laughter.
The rest of the lesson went by without incident; no one had been able to Apparate. Rose felt a twinge of panic that maybe she was physically incapable of Apparating, and suddenly wished she knew more about the theory of Apparition. She walked over to join Draco, Crabbe and Goyle after everyone was dismissed.
"Well that was rubbish," Draco sighed. "Let's get back to the common room, yeah?"
"Yeah, sounds good. I can't stand being here much longer," Rose answered, but Draco's gaze had fixed elsewhere, and he was grinding his teeth.
"Can you believe him?" Draco said, jerking his chin toward them. "Bloody Potter sticking his nose where it doesn't belong—as usual."
"Ha, yeah, you're surprised?" Rose snorted.
"How did you do?" they heard Weasley ask, running up to his idol. "I felt something the last time I tried—a kind of tingling in my feet."
"I expect your trainers are too small, Won-won," Granger remarked, walking past.
Rose sputtered a laugh. "Looks like trouble in paradise," she chuckled. Even Draco had an amused smile on his face.
"Common room, then?" he said, concealing a smirk.
They all headed down to the dungeons, where the common room wasn't quite full yet, some students still sleeping in late. They spread out on the couches, as was their usual place. The fire was already burning brightly, but the warmth it emitted wasn't enough to prevent the shiver that erupted through Rose.
"I don't think short sleeves were wise today," she said, rubbing her arms. "I need to grab something warmer—back in a minute."
Draco nodded absently, and she rushed to the dormitory. When she entered the room, she found Daphne on her bed, ripping parchment. Trying to ignore her clearly distressed friend,—were they still friends?—Rose rummaged in her trunk and withdrew a grey jumper, which she quickly threw on. She was almost halfway out of the door when her curiosity got the better of her, and she turned around to Daphne.
"Is everything okay?" she asked.
"No," Daphne replied, throwing bits of paper across her bed. "Not that you care."
"Of course I don't; that's why I'm asking." Rose rolled her eyes, and walked slowly closer.
"Don't you have a blonde to be snogging?" Daphne growled, throwing Rose a scorching glare.
"Fine," Rose snapped, and exited the dormitory. Still fuming, she came to the common room, where she saw Pansy standing over Draco, flailing her arms about as she spoke. Blaise was standing beside her, looking on as if ready to break things up if they got out of hand.
"I just don't understand! Just give it up! I know you hate her; you told me that yourself. Remember? Remember before Christmas holiday when you said she was annoying because she complains too much and only cares about herself? How can you say that and then turn around and marry her? It doesn't make sense. I know you hate her and love me. Just give it up!"
Rose stepped up behind Pansy, crossing her arms. Draco's face seemed to whiten at the sight of her. Pansy turned around, and her face screwed up in an even tighter scowl.
"You! This is all your fault! I don't know what sort of love potion you used on my Draco, but I won't let you get away with this. You mark my words."
"Dear Merlin, please help me I am so afraid. Oh no, whatever shall I do?" Rose said in a flat tone.
" You just wait, Martell."
"I dare you."
And suddenly, with no warning at all, Pansy lunged toward Rose, who flinched. But the impact never came, and when Rose opened her eyes, she saw a pug face snarling just inches from her own. Blaise had grabbed her by the upper arms and was holding her back, like a rabid dog. Rose laughed, and watched as Pansy was carried out of the room to the boys' dormitories by Blaise. The two girls were becoming something of a spectacle in the common room lately, and they had been overdue for an encounter like that one.
"Well that was fun," Rose said, wiping imaginary dust from clothes. "She would have gotten me that time if not for Blaise. I'll be sure to thank him eventually. Draco, a word?"
He stood up rather reluctantly, Crabbe and Goyle following suit, but he waved them down. He and Rose stepped outside into the corridor, and Draco quickly turned to her with a guilty expression on his face.
"About what Pansy said, I only said that about you because—"
Rose held up a hand to stop him. "I don't care about that. Not right now, anyway. I just need to talk to you."
"About what?" He didn't look any less nervous.
"About why you've been avoiding me all week," she answered, trying to catch his gaze, but he refused to look her in the eye.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"What aren't you telling me, Draco?"
He seemed like he was going to come up with another lie, but he just sighed and looked her. He struggled for a moment before saying, "I got a letter."
"A letter," she repeated. He nodded. "About what?"
"Do you want to go to the Room of Requirement for this?"
"The what?"
"Room of Requirement. Oh—that's what it's actually called. The Hidden Room. Room of Requirement. Bit of a mouthful, really. Anyway, want to go talk there?"
She agreed, and they both set off to the seventh floor. Halfway up, however, they encountered a Hufflepuff talking to a Ravenclaw against one of the window panes.
"It still hurts a little, like I got a cut and they just put a bandage on it," the Hufflepuff was explaining, and Rose immediately recognized it as the girl that splinched her leg during Apparition.
"Just be glad they were able to fix it," the other girl said as she nodded in sympathy.
"Do you think they would have been able to put her head back on if she splinched it?" Rose said loudly as they passed. "Or would all the air have gotten out and it would have deflated?"
"That's not funny," the Ravenclaw said, standing up. Rose and Draco turned back to look at her. "She could have really been hurt."
"I thought your lot were supposed to be smart—she did get hurt," Rose replied.
"Doesn't surprise me. They'll sort just about anyone just about anywhere these days," Draco answered. "I mean, they've got Longbottom in Gryffindor. Great lump couldn't stand up to a particularly nasty plant if he tried."
"Why do you have to be so mean?"
"Listen, Sarah—"
"Susan."
"Listen, Sarah," she continued, ignoring her, "if you value the rest of your limbs, I'd suggest shutting your yap before I dismember you in a way that they won't be able to fix."
"I think the key is to speak slowly, so they can understand you," added Draco.
"Come on, Susan," the Ravenclaw muttered, leading her friend down the stairs. Rose just laughed at their retreating backs.
"They never put up a proper fight anymore," Draco sighed.
"Still fun, though."
Without warning, Draco grabbed Rose and pulled her into a forceful kiss. They both stumbled a little with the sudden movement and fell against the window. Rose had a fleeting thought of falling through the window and crashing to their deaths, but the thought was smothered out by Draco. After a minute, he pulled back, panting slightly.
"Well that was nice," gasped Rose.
"Just insurance."
"What?"
He didn't answer, just continued on his way to the Room. She jogged after him, asking him what he meant by insurance, but he just continued on without answering her. It wasn't until they were within the depths of the Room, where the Cabinet rested, that he said anything.
"The owl I got was from your father."
"My father was sending you letters?"
He nodded. "He's a bit, er...apprehensive about your joining up—"
"Aren't we all?" she mumbled bitterly.
"Right, right, yeah. So, basically, he wants me to convince you to call it off."
"Call what off?"
He coughed nervously. "Well, um, us."
"Come again?"
He sighed in exasperation. "Okay, here it goes. As per our contracts, you're allowed to call off the engagement if you have a legitimate reason. I mean, I'm sure there's all kinds of other stuff that goes into it, but basically, you can take back your choice. And, well, your father wants you to."
"And if I do, I won't have to be a Death Eater anymore?"
"No, not unless the next person you choose is one, or you just really want to," he answered, smiling at the last part.
"Well, brilliant! I don't see the problem here!"
Draco's face fell. "Oh."
"What?"
"I just thought, you know, that you'd want to stay with me," he whispered.
"Oh," she mimicked. "Oh! Merlin, of course! Draco, I'm sorry, but you have to understand. This is my way out. I have to take it."
"Good to know I mean that much to you, Rose," he scoffed, and turned away from her, finding a need to busy himself with the Cabinet.
"It's not like that, Draco. It's just that this is—"
"Your get-out-of-jail-free card, yeah."
"Quite literally," she added, smiling at the reference to a Muggle children's game. When on holiday one summer in a wood's cabin a long time ago, Daphne found a game someone had left behind. It was called Monopoly and it was played by using funny-coloured paper money, of all things, to buy houses on a board. The entire group of them, including Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle, spent an entire day playing, only to find it had been extremely frustrating and completely pointless.
"I'll just go to prison alone, then," Draco said, probably meaning for it to be a joke, but it came out much too seriously.
"I'm sorry," Rose whispered.
"Guess that insurance didn't count for much," Draco added.
"Insurance? You mean that kiss?"
He shrugged, finally turning back to look at her. "I thought maybe you'd remember it and not want to leave. Pretty evident what's important to you now."
"Yeah, nothing special, just my life," she said bitterly. "So sorry to disappoint you, Draco, but I'd rather have my life and freedom."
"Fine, have your so-called freedom. But please just do me a favour—a real favour—and stay a while longer. We've still got a couple of months until your birthday. Give me at least one. I really need you around right now." He gestured to the Cabinet.
She nodded. "Okay." Quiet fell, and Draco turned to continue his work. "I don't really want to do this, you know. But my options are limited. I can't have it all."
There was no reply. She waited a minute longer for him to say something, and when he didn't, she left him alone. Though that was exactly what he didn't want, it was what Rose needed. She needed to be alone with her thoughts, to sort through the jumbled mess in her head. She had her chance—in fact, she was surprised she hadn't thought of it earlier. The part of the contract that allowed her to leave never really registered in her mind before; she had always ignored, because she didn't think it would ever apply to her. Now, though, it was the most important part, and the most deadly.
She could really see a future for herself and Draco. It wasn't exactly smooth flying at the moment, but she knew things wouldn't stay this way forever. She and Daphne would make up, Pansy would get off her back, and everything would be alright. For a while, she had even thought that she could handle being a Death Eater—that maybe it wouldn't be too bad if their side won the oncoming war. But now all of that worry was gone; she had a way out.
And yet, she couldn't make that decision. It seemed so easy when Draco told her. Just break it off, and freedom was hers, but now she wasn't so sure. She hadn't expected Draco's reaction, and thought it was very odd of him. Perhaps he was just feeling extra emotional and sentimental because of the stress his task was putting on him. Or perhaps, Rose thought desperately, perhaps he really does care for me. The thought was almost absurd, but the signs were all there, if only just vaguely. Or maybe she was just reading too far into everything.
"Why is this so difficult!" she shouted to the apparently empty dungeon corridor, which she had managed to reach in the time it took her to think through all of that mess—and yet, she still hadn't managed to come to a conclusion.
"If it's walking and breathing at the same time, I expect you're just stupid," a familiar voice said from ahead.
Rose walked forward and saw Daphne leaning against the wall. "Hi."
"Hello."
"What're you doing here?"
"Standing."
"Right."
"You?"
"Going to the common room."
"Cool."
Then silence.
"What's difficult?" Daphne asked.
"Oh, long story."
"I'd like to hear it, if you'd tell me," she said meekly. Rose smiled.
"From the beginning, then?"
"From the beginning."
Rose told her everything. Starting from the disastrous, drunken scene at Malfoy Manor, to the recent events in the Room. She left out what she could about Draco's mission, and Daphne understood that it had to be kept secret. Finally, Rose concluded with her doubts and worries about ending the marriage contract.
"Well, you've got a month, right? I mean, maybe you won't want to by then, or maybe it'll be rubbish, and you will. Who knows."
"I just wish I knew now," Rose groaned, burying her face in her hands.
"That would be too easy. You have to work through it. Give it time—"
Rose let out another loud groan. "That sucks.
Daphne nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, it does. Lunch?"
"Please!"
They bounded off to the Great Hall, and stuffed their faces with whatever was within reach, laughing and having a good time. Rose couldn't stop smiling even after the last joke had ended. Daphne was back.
Author's Note: I figured a nice, solid, happy ending to a chapter was long over-due. You're welcome. I only grant you this courtesy because school is starting in two days, and it'll probably be a long while until you get another update. See you then! Leave reviews!