A/N: Thank you for all the reviews!
Ugh, I just finished watched all the episodes of 'Cutting It'... And oh my God, I'm so frustrated with the way they ended it with Ruby and Gavin! She just disappeared, and that was that... So unsatisfactory.
Meh, rant over.
Anyway, if you're wondering why I'm going on about that, it's because the lovely Lucy Gaskell plays Ruby.
Enjoy this chapter, it may well be the last before I go back to school. I think I'm happy with what I've accomplished over the holidays; not only have I written over 10,000 words of this, I can now play Solitaire without any hints! XD
Please do review, it makes my day (:
Song is 'The Scientist' by Coldplay.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.
Kirsty
When I woke in Adam's arms once again, the first thing I thought to do was run. But no, a little voice in the back of my head implored. He just wants to help you; you can't go running to him and then leaving like this. So instead, I curled up to him, putting my head on his chest. His hand instinctively curled around mine, making me smile, and I quickly drifted back into the throes of sleep, content in the knowledge that I could trust someone.
"Morning Kirst," he whispered in my ear a couple of hours later. I opened my eyes one at a time, and gave him a sleepy smile, as he brushed a lock of hair back from my face. "You hungry?" I shook my head, and Adam sighed, rolling me onto my back. "You should really eat something, you must be starving after last night" I shrugged, and he sighed again, tossing me a smile. "Okay, but you have to eat something sometime today, right? I'm gonna go call work and get the day off- I'll say I'm coming down with a virus or something." I sat up, yawning.
"You don't have to do that, Adam. I was thinking about going in for an hour or two anyway..." he sat back down on the edge of the bed, and traced the cut on my temple.
"I'm not sure that's a great idea Kirsty. I mean, you'll get a lot of awkward questions about this..." he kissed my temple, then gently grasped my arm. "And these..." I looked down at the blossoming bruises on my skin, and covered them up with my hand.
"Okay, maybe not then. But that doesn't mean you have to stay off-" He interrupted me, putting a finger to my lips.
"Yeah, and leave you alone with a head injury?"
"I told you, I'm fine!"
"Yeah, well I'm not convinced. I'm not leaving you alone, end of." I laughed, and shoved him playfully.
"Okay, okay. What's on the agenda today then?" he smiled.
"Well firstly, I will be making a stack of delicious pancakes for breakfast and we will be stuffing our faces with them whether you like it or not."
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.
Adam
"Um, Kirst, do you-" I stopped in my tracks when I saw her quickly wiping a few tears from her cheeks. "Kirsty, what's wrong?" I kneeled before her, and she gave me a watery smile.
"Nothing, nothing. I'm just being stupid." she looked away, but I put a hand on her cheek and turned her head to look at me.
"Kirsty," I repeated. "What's wrong?" She bit her lip, anxiety coating her every move, and I stroked her soft skin with my thumb.
"You'll hate me" she whispered. I sighed as she pulled away from my touch.
"No, I could never hate you. What did you do?" she looked me straight in the eye, tears coating her pale face.
"I killed my baby Adam..." I pulled her into an embrace, and she laid her head on my shoulder. "I drank too much the night before, and I killed my own child!" I rubbed her back soothingly.
"No, no you didn't. It was probably just a coincidence, you know that." She shook her head.
"It deserved a life!" she sobbed. I leaned her into the crook of my arm, holding her the way you'd hold a child and looking down into her face.
"And what kind of life would it have lead? Kirsty, it wasn't exactly conceived under the best circumstances was it?"
"But that wasn't it's fault! Just because it was an accident-" I interrupted her, stroking her arm.
"Sweetheart, it wasn't just an accident. Warren raped you." She flinched at the 'r' word, and I immediately felt bad. "Look, I know it must be really hard to come to terms with it, but the miscarriage wasn't your fault. And although you might not like me saying it, I personally think that it may have been for the best. Could you ever really ever love a child that was conceived in that way?" I kissed her on the forehead.
"I don't know" she murmured.
"See? So you don't have to worry about it anymore."
"But Adam," she slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed it gently. "Now I'll never get to find out."
That night, we ordered pizza and sat eating it whilst wating the crap on evening TV. Kirsty was lying with her head on my chest, and I stroked her hair contentedly. Eventually I became fed up of watching complete rubbish, and turned the telly off. Kirsty shifted slightly, but made no effort to move. She looked up at me, and for a moment our eyes connected, their usual warm glow dancing and glittering in my soul. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I leaned down, and gently pressed my lips to hers. She didn't pull away, but I could sense how tense she was to my touch. After a few seconds, she relaxed, and I wrapped my arms around her frame, pulling her closer to me. What are you doing? I thought to myself, but I still didn't stop. I slowly slipped my hands under the hem of her t-shirt and lifted it up over her head, wrapping my arms around her and swapping our positions, so she was lying on her back looking up at me. I leaned down and kissed her neck, running my hands down her sides. She welcomed my touch, and gave me a wobbly smile. I lowered myself down onto her, nuzzling my face into her shoulder.
"Adam?" I slid my arms underneath her, pulling us closer together.
"Mmm?"
"A-adam..." One moment I was caressing her back, and the next I was on the floor with Kirsty flying out of the room. She'd pushed me off her with all the force in her fragile body and raced up the stairs. I sat up as I heard the bathroom door slam, and groaned, putting my head in my hands.
Adam, what have you done?
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Kirsty
Oh Kirsty, what are you doing? I sat on the floor with my knees to my chest, trying to make sense of what had happened. Adam... He was only nice. I knew I should have just told him if I wasn't comfortable, but I couldn't help it. I just overreacted, as usual. I heard him come up the stairs, two at a time, to stand outside the bathroom door.
"Kirsty?" he knocked softly, and I curled up even tighter. "Kirsty, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me; it just happened so fast..." his voice was muffled and a little choked, as if he's been crying. Silence fell between us, until I stood, and unlocked the door, opening it to look at him. He was a little dishevelled, and his hair was sticking up the way it did when he was stressed and was constantly running his hands through it.
"I wanted it," I whispered.
"Huh?" he took a step towards me, confusion in his eyes.
"I wanted it... But it just... It..." he placed his hands on my shoulders.
"Kirsty, what?" I leaned forward, allowing him to wrap his arms around me in a friendly embrace.
"It reminded me too much of how we used to be... You know, me and Warren. I'm so sorry!" he kissed the top of my head, and put a comforting hand on my cheek.
"Don't say sorry. Please, stop saying sorry. This isn't your fault... It's mine entirely. I shouldn't have done that Kirst. Can you forgive me?" She gave me a small smile, a favour which I greatly returned.
"Nothing to forgive." she wiped a tear from her eye as their old spark slowly returned to them. "God, I'm so hormonal! I don't know how you can put up with it Adam." He pulled me close and put his head on my shoulder so he could whisper in my ear.
"Kirsty, you're perfect. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Oh take me back to the start.
I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are
Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.
A/N: Um... Yeah. Sorry for the rather pitifully short and pretty crappy chapter, I decided to put the rest of the song in as there weren't enough paragraph-y things to fit it all in otherwise XD
I go back to school on Tuesday; and I will write a little more tomorrow. I promise it'll be longer and (hopefully) better! I did struggle with this chapter actually .
Thanks for reading, don't forget to review! :D