Notes: Hello! I aplogize for the wait for this chapter; it wasn't an easy one to write. I'm on spring break now so hopefully I get at least two more chapters completed this week.

If you're curious about Ray, I can link you to what I think he looks like. Just ask box me via tumblr (the link is on my profile).

I hope you enjoy it (:

Chapter IV

Being a Friday afternoon The Lima bean was incredibly busy, and as Kurt sat alone quietly amidst the chatter, he couldn't help but notice that everything seemed busy. The past months whirled by him on the people darting in and out, on the cars rushing by the window, there were so many images: bruises on the backs of his shoulders, nightmares of forced kisses, dreams of running away and never looking back, clothing stores, coffee, alcohol, his bed, washed kisses, dirty kisses. Then there were things not tangible: misread signals, doubtful feelings, sudden feelings, bad feelings, new feelings.

Everything was impatient to happen. He needed a breath. He closed his eyes.

"Kurt!"

So much for peace; but what did he expect, when what he'd been expecting was Rachel Berry?

He opened his eyes to the bright, excited face of his friend and rival. Towering over her a good foot and a half to her left was a boy with a kind face and slightly overgrown hair, chocolate brown with caramel highlights. Dye job, Kurt instantly determined. He had a trim figure and wore a leather jacket over a white collared shirt and dark skinny jeans.

"Kurt, I'd like you to meet Ralph Fletcher, the newest member of New Directions."

"But you can call me Ray,"

"Ah – hi," he quickly stood to shake the boy's hand, struggling to keep his surprise off his face. What was going on? New Directions? Who was this guy?

"You're exactly like Rachel described," he said, laughing affably.

"Rachel, what exactly did you tell him?" Kurt said accusatorily.

"Well, I'll let you two talk!" she gave Kurt a deliberate look, tilting her head towards Ray as she backed away quickly, and then she was gone.

"I take it you weren't expecting me?" Ray gave an awkward laugh.

"Not at all. Though I should have expected something was up; her tone had been rather questionable when she called me yesterday. Shall we?" he motioned to the empty chairs and they sat.

"So you're in New Directions now?" Jealously crept slyly into Kurt's stomach and then there were more images: classic eighties numbers, Gaga costumes, football, cheerleaders, Vitamin D, assemblies, Mr. Schue, the choir room. Family.

"Mhm. I'm not the best singer but I play guitar. And I know I don't look it but I'm actually a hell of a dancer."

Kurt took in Ray's spindly frame and decided he'd have to see it for himself. "Well, New Directions can always use new members. I'm sure you're a great addition."

"Thanks."

There was an awkward pause.

"I'm confused," Kurt admitted. "What exactly are we doing here?"

"Rachel didn't tell you anything at all?"

Kurt shook his head, and Ralph loudly inhaled and exhaled.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning. I moved here two weeks ago from Canada—"

"—wait, people move into Lima?"

"Actually we moved underneath it. Little cosier, y'know?"

Kurt rolled his eyes jokingly and Ray laughed at himself once, then shook his head. "Anyway, my grandfather passed away last month and my grandma needs taken care of so we came here."

"Forgive me; I'm so sorry for your loss."

"It's alright; I really didn't know him all too well. Anyway … high school in Canada isn't like high school here. We don't have huge cliques or obvious labels and ranks of social standing, not that those things aren't there, 'cause they are." he paused, and his attitude differed when he spoke again.

"I'm not used to feeling so … alone. I mean kids aren't nice wherever you go, but I'm not used to being bullied. I've never even seen kids get pushed around before. Back home mostly everyone kept to themselves, and I hated feeling like I was ignored … but now I see there are worse things."

"Being in glee club's not exactly the best cure for that,"

"I'm not so sure this has to do with glee club," Ray pursed his lips in confession.

"I'm not sure I'm following you,"

"I'm bisexual,"

"Oh." That explained the hair and the masculine chic attire.

"Rachel came up to me, noticing something was wrong. I told her I just needed someone to talk to, and she told me about you."

Kurt swallowed. "I don't think I'm really the best person to talk to. I mean, I left because it wasn't safe for me to be there. So if you plan on staying, my advice isn't exactly … in existence."

"I'm not really looking for advice, just … someone who understands."

They locked eyes, and seeing sadness in the warm green ones, Kurt agreed that he understood. It was all too familiar a look.

Suddenly Blaine flooded into his mind, and he absentmindedly smiled.

"You can always talk to me," he said, realizing it had never felt better to say those words.

"Thanks, Kurt. Rachel told me you were amazing."

Kurt felt himself blush, but said in mock pride, "That's all she told you?"

Ray laughed. It was beautiful.

"Can I buy you coffee?" asked Kurt.

"You don't have to—"

"—no, please. I do."

When they each had scorching cups between their hands, the fact that they had just met seemed to melt away a little.

"Is it Karofsky?" Kurt finally asked, and though he was certain of the answer, he still didn't want to hear it.

"Him and Azimio, yeah. Finn also told me what happened to you. He's being rather protective, actually." Ray smiled, seeming to be remembering something.

"Finn's a really good guy," said Kurt, smiling as well. Like moths to a flame, more images flew to him, brushed their wings against his heart: his brother in a cherry red shower curtain, a rather stirring toast, an unexpected dance. "Not so good at talking though, that one. He never tells me anything."

"Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah," Kurt was thrown off. "I'm fine," he nodded.

"You seem like you have a lot on your mind."

Someone opened the door to leave, and cool air enveloped them like scarves.

"I'm fine, really. Actually, I just remembered I have to go meet someone else." he said, standing up.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," Ray stood as well, worry on his face.

"You didn't. It's just—you seem nice and I know how it feels to be in your position. But I don't really know you. I do have a lot on my mind and I think that I just need some time alone to work it out … for a while."

"That's no problem, Kurt. But if you ever need to talk, I'm all ears."

Kurt smiled. "I really appreciate that, thank you." He meant it, but vaguely wondered why everyone always offered to be "all ears". Why didn't anyone ever offer to be all heart?

They said goodbye, promising to meet again soon. Kurt glanced at his phone—it was only about four thirty. He had promised to drop by Blaine's house to give him the assignments he'd missed that day, due to the suspension awarded for his unauthorized performance in the cafeteria. At least the punishment was only for one day, and the Warblers were too amused by Blaine's declaration of affections to be mad.

It was unbelievable to Kurt why Blaine had pulled the stunt. They sat in Blaine's bedroom, text and notebooks open all over the desk and bed as Blaine got caught up and they furiously reviewed their history notes.

"The other day you kept mentioning how wild things were at your old school and it just sounded like so much fun. I just wanted to show you that I could be like that, too. Though perhaps Dalton wasn't the best place, as clarified. Truth is … you're the courageous one, Kurt. I look up to you. You make me realize that I need to be more adventurous. More everything."

"Blaine…" Kurt looked away out of shyness. "You … are enough. Just as you."

"Don't be modest, Kurt. You must see what a wonderful person you are. I know I haven't been quite vocal lately about my feelings, and that's mostly because, well … I haven't been quite sure of them myself."

The tension Kurt had been feeling all day was gradually thinning.

"I think I know what you mean. I haven't been very open, either." he paused, took a deep breath. "I've been thinking a lot about McKinley, more than I realized. Apparently, you've noticed too." Another breath.

"Today I … met someone."

Kurt looked hesitantly at Blaine, but he only waited without judgement.

"He just joined New Directions, his name is Ray, and … he's being tormented by Karofsky because he's bisexual. I know my dad and Carole won't be too happy but … I'm thinking about transferring back." he rushed.

"What?" was all Blaine had the coherency to say.

"I know it's sudden, but I feel so lost lately. Who knows, maybe I am being a little rash but it feels like what I have to do."

"You got upset when I thought I might have been bisexual, and now you're chasing after some guy who is?"

"I'm not chasing after him, Blaine!" Kurt stood from the desk, Blaine from the bed. "I'm going there to support him, just like you did for me. To stand up to Karofsky to show that he can't get away with this again. It's not just about me anymore."

Blaine was silenced. He felt unclean.

"I don't even understand why you would make that assumption – it's not like you helped me because you were in love with me."

Tears clouded Blaine's eyes and his chest tightened. "But I love you now."

Was there a point in saying it? It was too late now; truth had finally retched itself from his body, while Kurt lost all feel of his.

"You love me?" he breathed. Months of ache stood packed and ready at the door – all Blaine had to do was say he never wanted to see that again.

Blaine chuckled sadly, eyes bouncing around the room until they landed on Kurt. "Another thing that was supposed to be special." Cautiously, he stepped towards the beautiful, impossibly perfect boy before him. "But yes, Kurt Hummel. I am in love with you."

The ache forgot to close the door as it left, and a chill rippled down Kurt's back, but it felt anything but bad. His tongue wrestled with the "L" word and the latter was winning. As Blaine moved closer, Kurt fought it harder.

"I'm sorry we're not on a blanket under the moonlight and there aren't rose petals, because you deserve that. Most all I'm sorry I doubted you. I trust you, I do. And I think you doing that is really great, and I think you should go back and do it. I'm sorry that jealousy overcame me first. I guess I just read it as you accepting a part of him that you previously wanted to reject in me."

They were extremely close now, feeble inches between them. Kurt merely stared at him, struggling for his voice.

"Now would be a good time to say something," said Blaine, broken and uncertainly.

Kurt found his tongue, and feeling shot back into his fingertips. "I'm in love with you."

Evidently, Blaine had not been expecting this response, and he leaned back as if he'd been shocked. Then the corners of his lips pulled upwards the tiniest bit.

Kurt couldn't handle all of the emotions in Blaine's eyes: they flickered, they smouldered, they burned all kinds of fire and hurt and happiness. He swallowed noiselessly and looked to the floor.

Fingers softly intertwined themselves into his and then their chests were touching and their arms were holding and their hearts were beating on each other. It would be a bruise worth having.

"So you really are leaving?" whispered Blaine, tickling Kurt's ear.

"I hope so." He pulled away, keeping their embrace and stared at him surely. "But I won't be leaving you."

Though in his arms, Kurt felt miles away from Blaine. Despite his last statement, deep down, Blaine felt like he was losing Kurt inch by inch, and if he let go, what would he hold on to? Why did they feel like puzzle pieces originally made for each other, but they just couldn't fit because one of them had been mutated? He tried to bury the feelings.

"Do you think you could … stay the night?" he asked tentatively. "My parents won't be home until about midnight and they have to leave early in the morning so they won't know you're here. Your car's parked across the street, isn't it?"

"It is." Kurt nodded tersely. They had slept in the same bed before. They had slept in the same bed before.

They had slept in the same bed before.

"It'll just be like last time. I'm not trying to pressure you at all, Kurt. I just don't want to be alone tonight. Please don't feel obligated."

He wanted to; he wanted to show Blaine he needed him, that he could be the one to be there and provide comfort. He wanted Blaine to need him.

"I'm sure I could find a way to convince my dad that it will be alright."

"It's just that we have a big test on Monday for a teacher who's not particularly fond of us, and we would end up studying tomorrow too, anyway. Yes, dad, there's a guest bedroom. I'll be home before dinner tomorrow. Actually dad, there's something I want to talk to you about tomorrow. No, it can wait. No, it's nothing like that! Yes, I promise. Bye, dad. I love you too. Bye."

Kurt shut down his phone and placed it on the desk, closing his eyes in mortification while Blaine sniggered affectionately from the bed, now clear of all schoolwork. Later, as Kurt crawled in wearing lent pyjamas, he vaguely realized that he was sleeping in the same bed as Blaine for the second time, yet still didn't know the feel of the other's tongue against his. He flushed, and though the light was dim there came a question.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," said Kurt, but felt himself get hotter, and almost squeamish, as he looked at Blaine's lips.

They curved upwards and he scooted slightly closer to Kurt, but didn't touch him. In silence they lied for a while; Kurt's head rolled away from Blaine, who, at a leisured tempo, began to sing, soft as a whisper.

Please sing to me,
I can see you open up to breathe.
Fast words make it easier on me,
Make a point to never disappoint you,
Somebody's got to tell me what to do.
Just wish you could've seen me, when it used to come so easy.
I like to say that it's easy to stay but it's not for me,
'Cause I'm barely here at all.

The tone of his voice was sober, and it hardly sounded like the original song, but it was beautiful. Kurt pushed himself back so he was lying against Blaine and closed his eyes as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Slow down now, the secrets out,
And I swear now everything is perfect.
What you want, what you need has been killing me.
Try to be everything that you want me to be.
I say yes, I'll undress, I've done more for less.
And I'll change everything until it's perfect again.

And they drifted off.