Dear Scotland,
Hello! Como você é (How are you?)? Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush; whoever is the scoundrel who keeps leaving a bag of flaming sheep "chocolates" on my doorstep...please stop now before I come over there and raise Inferno sagrado upon the sorry soul(s). I understand that you (Scotland) along with your brothers hate your brother England with a burning passion; but, please stop taking it out on his closest ally (aka me)! I, along with The Azores and Madeira (my two autnomous regions/little siblings), are tired of having put out a bag of flaming sheep "chocolates" at ungodly hours during the night.
I'm sorry to have my first letter to you be about this, but it really has to stop now. I hope you things have been going alright for you.
Sincerely,
Portugal (Silvia Dias)
P.S. That haggis, last time I visited you, was delicious. It tasted like salted marshmillows.
P.P.S. Would you like to go out drinking sometime?
((A/N: The closest ally thing is an allusion to the Anglo-Portuguese Alliance, which basically means that England and Portugal have been and still are bff's.)
Dear Portugal
Sheep chocolates? Lass, If you mean sheep droppings just say it. You're going to ruin sheep and chocolates for me. Its most likely one of my brothers. Ive been reclusive for the past several years so I doubt its been me.
Things have been going fine for me actually. Ive been trying to establish a better relationship with my brat of a siblings, beating on them has gotten rather boring.
-Scotland.