How to Overcome Jealousy

Written by The Lonely Serenade

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Never ever.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. — Fred Allen

Chapter 3 — Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Natsume stopped at his tracks when he felt a presence behind him. He clenched his fists and turned to look at the person, his crimson eyes burned menacingly.

"Stop following me, dammit."

The girl sighed and walked towards him, her wavy auburn hair was played by the wind. She moved a bit closer and closed the proximity between them. Her tender fingers started to creep along his back, as it turned into a desperate grip.

Natsume was startled by her actions and shoved her harshly, slapping her hands in process. She winced, and his heart swelled when he heard her in pain. It was wrong, it didn't feel right. He wanted to punch himself badly for making her hurt. He didn't have any rights whatsoever to do something like that. He shouldn't have done that.

"You don't have to be so rough you know," the person muttered but that didn't escape from his ears.

Mikan touched the back of her hand. It still stings from Natsume's slap. She grimaced inwardly and shook her head. No wonder people was afraid of him, his strength was truly something. Nobody would want to reckon with him on that area. Deep inside she knew perfectly that the more he hurt someone, the more hurt he was in heart.

"Where are you going, Natsume?" she asked him after she saw that he was leaving her and started to walk faster.

"That's none of your business."

She pouted. "Of course it is, you're my precious friend, aren't you?"

That made him stopped once more.

"Do as you like," she heard him mumbled.

The nullifier walked beside him and took his arm with hers, tangling them together. She raised her face and her hazel eyes locked with Natsume's crimson ones. She loved those eyes—the ones that looked at her with tenderness, affection, and so much care. But there was always something she didn't quite catch. His eyes also showed her the pain he was going through, and there was always a hint of worry and fright.

Natsume then avoided her eyes before he could do something bad to her. He couldn't snap right there, with all of the people watching in awe. He must regain his control, so he wouldn't do anything to her . . . not yet. Not when they're not alone.

"Are we going to the Sakura tree?"

He gave her a curt nod and pulled her. "I can't stand those fools watching over us like we are some kind of jewel."

She giggled and took her hand with his. "That's so like you to say that, Natsume."

He tightened his grip on her hand. His heart thumped loudly and felt a certain urge to pull her into his arms, embracing her with all he got. Just like back then, when he left her all alone.

His attraction towards her was getting worse each day. The more he avoided her from his life, the more his heart yearned for her. Every countless night he spent by thinking about her and how he should protect her from the darkness. It was painful to have a dream about her. They laughed together. They embraced each other. But he'd always wake up from those dreams and realized that it was just a lie. A mere imagination.

"Natsume? We're here."

He snapped out of his trance and looked at his surroundings. The soft petals were brought by the wind, the cool breeze swept his cheeks and he felt that his soul was soothed. He glanced at the smiling girl beside him.

He thought a lot about what happened days ago. He knew that he owed her an apology for ruining her date with that Shima. And he also thought about his feelings for her, about how he wanted to keep her all by himself. It was possessiveness. It made him thought the she was his.

It made him realize that he liked her.

He liked her so very much that sometimes he felt like his defense was crumbling. He realized that he was weak. And someone as weak as him couldn't possibly protect her, so he did the most reasonable thing he could come up that time. Avoid her.

But now, it was too late. He understood that it was too late.

He had no more power to avoid her. He couldn't betray his heart any longer. Not when she was smiling softly towards him, her eyes shot and bore through the very inch of his conscience. She had taken custody over him, and without his permission for that.

He chuckled lowly, but it was not low enough for Mikan not to hear.

"Natsume, are you laughing?"

He looked at her bewildered and amazed face; her cheeks were painted with a tint of red. She pinched her cheeks and somehow made a funny expression that made him wanted to tease her.

"You are actually laughing?"

He grunted and felt that his cheeks were burning. But he did not blush. He never blushed.

"So what if I do laugh? You stupid snatcher."

She gaped. "Me?" a confused tone escaped from her mouth, "A snatcher?"

He glared and dragged her towards the tree. "Enough chit-chat Polka, I want to rest."

"What? A rest? What do you mean by res—eeeep!"

She squealed loudly when he pushed her down at the trunk of the tree and before she could comprehend what was happening, she felt a weight rested on her lap. It was happening so fast, one time he was teasing with her, and the next thing she knew, he was laying his head on her thighs! It was unbelievable.

He snuggled on her lap, searching for the best position to rest. She felt ticklish since his jet black hair was swiping and roaming on the certain area that happened to be her weak spot.

"Natsume? Why are you . . .?"

Her breathing stopped as Natsume turned his head to look at her face. It was strange, she felt that her blood circulation had gone faster and heat rushed up to her cheeks. She couldn't help it. His crimson eyes were so beautiful. It entrapped her. She was hypnotized.

"It was compensation," he answered as his eyes were closing slowly.

"Compensation? For what, exactly?" she asked.

He snapped his eyes opened and a smirk was carved on his lips. He looked devilish at the time. A hand crept to the back of her head, as it pushed her head down so their faces were only inches apart.

His face was below hers, his lips were dangerously lingering, as if they invited her eyes to dart over that certain part of his face.

He moved closer, and she could now feel his breath on her cheeks. She couldn't stand the intensity, so she closed her eyes, anticipating whatever actions he was intending to make to her.

Natsume, what are you planning to do—?

And as her minds wondered, she was suddenly startled.

Natsume pressed his lips to her earlobe, and gave it a low sigh. "You don't think you can barge into my privacy without paying, do you?"

He continued by giving it slow lick, but before his attempt on nibbling her earlobe was done, Mikan suddenly jerked her head up, covering her lips and touched her throbbing ear with red-beet face.

Natsume smirked and released his hand from her head. "You're blushing," he stated.

That made her blushing face reddened even more. She covered her face with her palms and said, "You stupid pervert. I can't stand you with all of your antics. What's with the sudden in change in attitude anyway?"

He didn't answer.

She peered from the gaps that her hand made, "Natsume?"

"I can't answer that question, Polka." He responded.

Her eyes softened, and she gave an understanding sigh. "It's alright," she whispered, "I don't want to force you."

There was a silence before Mikan moved her fingers to caress his hair. She felt that his brows twitched for a while, telling her that he was aware of what she was doing to him. She swept and combed through his hair gently, feeling the soft texture on her fingers.

"You know, I—Natsume."

"What?"

"I—please don't go to mission today."

His body tensed. His crimson eyes were now staring at her, pain and angriness filled within those beautiful orbs. "Ruka," he hissed and gritted his teeth, "He told you didn't he?"

Mikan turned her face. "I forced him to tell me that. He's not the one at fault."

He was angry when he heard her protecting Ruka. "Why did you defend him?" he countered hotly.

"Because he has nothing to do with this! If you want to blame someone, then blame me!"

He glared again. "What are you trying to say?"

"I was trying to say that you should stop acting like this! You won't tell me anything! Not even one! Do you know how much you put me in distress when I heard our classmates talked about you going to mission? They knew and I don't! Why can't you trust me? Why can't you believe in me? I—"

Her words were cut and she was brought to his arms. His warmth enveloped her the moment she was inside his embrace. It was not crushing, it was very gentle and strong, just like his spirit. His hands clutched at her uniform, while his head was buried on her head.

". . . I care for you." She continued.

He hugged tighter. "Listen to me, Mikan," he mused, "I might not come back safely."

"Why?" she bit her lips, "Why not? You're strong."

He didn't retort.

Mikan sighed and whispered, her lips quavering. "I believe in you, Natsume."

"You don't have to. I'm a liar."

"I know you are," she laughed bitterly and looked at him with the dejected expression on her face, "But I don't care."

Natsume cursed. "You should care, dammit. Don't be stupid."

"I'm not being stupid!" she retorted, "I just—I just, I just want you to come back to me."

He pulled her away. He still didn't know why she cared so much for him. He was not worth it. "I don't know."

"Then at least promise me that you'll try," she directed her gaze at him and spoke, "Promise me."

He took a glimpse on her hand the he had slapped earlier, and brought it to his lips.

"If you're kissing my hand, I took it that you intend to keep your promise." She closed her eyes before opening them again and caressed his cheek, "Don't leave me alone."

He looked at her sharply; her words seemed to affect him more than it usually did.

He didn't know if he could come back safely to her, moreover, in one piece. He knew that it might be the last time he was going to see her, and to feel her. But images of Mikan living all alone and the picture of her with other guys made his blood boil. He couldn't let that happen. He just couldn't.

"I won't leave you," he muttered, "I promise."

Mikan stared blankly at the food that was served in front of her. She played the spaghetti with her spoon, making circles on her plate or play with the sauce. Sometimes, she'd even sighed and rested her chin on her hands.

I wonder if Natsume is okay . . . He hadn't came back, or else Ruka would already call me.

Hotaru glanced at her best friend and looked at the equally confused Sumire beside her. "She's spacing out again," she stated as she waved her hands in front of Mikan's face. But she got no response from her. She didn't even look like she noticed the hand waving thing.

"Hey, Imai," Sumire called her and whispered, "Do you think she had a fight with Natsume-kun?"

Hotaru shook her head and continued crunching her cookies, "No, Hyuuga just gone to another mission and she is currently worrying over him."

Sumire looked at Mikan in sympathy. "Oh, that's to be expected."

"But just so you know," Hotaru suddenly continued, "She's getting stronger. She didn't even bawl nor wail to us about him. She's trying to figure out the whole thing by herself."

Sumire raised her brows. "So, you mean, she's growing up?"

Hotaru shrugged. "Kinda. Something like that. They must have come up with an agreement or something."

The wielder of the cat-dog alice nodded and propped her arms on the table. They were going out together, the three of them, as in Mikan, Hotaru, and herself. She noticed that Mikan was not being her usual self; she didn't even react after she was scolded by Jinno in math. She continued to space-out in PE, and she kept on tagging herself with Ruka, who's equally weird.

Sumire's wondering mind was stopped when she heard Mikan's cell phone rang.

That seemed to pull the brunette out of her trance and she immediately grabbed her cell phone. She flipped it and looked at the screen to check out the caller-id.

It's Ruka! Her heart beat loudly.

Sumire and Hotaru looked at each other questioningly.

"Hello?"

"Mikan! Hello? It's you, right?"

"Yeah, Ruka-kun, how's it?" Mikan bit her lips in nervousness.

"It's awful! He collapsed on his balcony! His body was full of wounds and scratches, I've already took him to the hospital but the doctor said that his injuries are serious—"

She didn't hear a thing that Ruka had said because her mind was blank. She only heard wounds, hospital, and serious injuries. She didn't have any strength left in her body. Her hand suddenly felt so weak, and her face paled in an instant.

Her cell phone slipped from her grasp.

Sumire and Hotaru were startled when Mikan's cell phone hit a glass of water. "Mikan?"

"Hello? Mikan, Mikan! Do you hear me—" Ruka's voice was heard by the three of them.

Mikan stood up and dashed towards the door, slamming it in process as her figure was starting to disappear from her friends' sight. Sumire stood up abruptly and looked at Hotaru. "Where does she think she's going? She left her phone and things behind!"

Hotaru took Mikan's phone and spoke, "Ruka-kun?"

"Imai? Where's Mikan?"

"She freaks out after you told her something. What's wrong?"

"Natsume was taken to the hospital and was being treated by the doctors now. It looks like he is shot."

Natsume woke up that morning and found himself in a very grouchy mood. The light was so bright and the scent of hospital lingered all over his body. It was so sickening, and this was one of the reasons why he hated doing mission. Bandages and plasters were marking his body, and when he was about to stand himself up on the bed, he felt a surge of pain rain through his body.

"Dammit, curse you bloody hospital." He grunted and raised his hand to cover his face from the blinding light.

His blurry vision was getting better and he traveled his gaze all over the room. He found himself staring at a figure, sleeping soundlessly on the couch. He narrowed his eyes and instant recognition hit him.

"Mikan," he muttered as he struggled to stand up from the bed. His hand accidentally pressed a red button and an alarm rang loudly, startling both companies that were placed in the room.

Mikan jolted and she looked around the room with an annoyed face, his hazel eyes were drowsy and there were blue circles under her eye bags. Her eyes widened when she looked at the now cursing Natsume, trying to move by his own.

Natsume. You're okay.

Their gazes locked into each other. Mikan found herself biting her lips, as she felt tears starting to form on her eyes. Damn, Mikan, you musn't cry in front of him. She turned her head so her back was the one facing him. Natsume didn't have to be a genius to see what's going on.

"Are you crying?"

He got a muffled cry as a result. "No, I'm not!"

Natsume snorted and used one of his arms as a pole to support his body. He finally managed to seat properly and put his feet down on the cold marble floor. He knocked the glass and the water inside was spilled on the floor.

Mikan heard the rumbling sound and she turned to see what was happening. A hiss came from her mouth as she walked towards him, catching him with her body in time. He staggered back and was put back on the bed by Mikan, who was now glaring daggers at him.

"You stupid idiot! What're you doing? You're still recovering! And don't move too much or else your wound will start to open again!"

A scowl plastered on Natsume's face. "Don't be such a worry-wart, Polka. I'm fine. Can't you see me breathing?"

She ignored his insult and moved onto the bed that was pushed down by her weight as she trapped Natsume with her figure. She put both of her hands beside his head, caging him like she did long time ago, when they were trapped in the haunted house. The difference was, back then, it was inadvertent. But now, it was intentional.

"Do you think you can possibly cage me with that small figure of yours?" Natsume looked at her with amusement.

She was brought to her back when Natsume slipped his foot to her openings, making her stumbled on the bed. It was a counter-back from him.

Mikan struggled but Natsume grabbed her hands and pinned them on the bed. She frowned. "It looks like you got enough energy to pin me down like this. I was tricked."

"You think I'm that weak?"

"Don't mess with me right now," she grumbled and turned to face the bed side table, "I'm angry at you."

Natsume raised his brows. "Why? I keep my promise to you."

"I know that," she muttered and she sniffled, her voice was hoarse, "I'm just angry at you. I don't know why."

"There's no reason for you to be angry with me. I'm perfectly fine and safe."

"Ruka came not long ago," she sighed, "He was really worried."

Natsume only looked at her.

"I was worried sick, Natsume."

Natsume's gaze softened and he trailed his hands to the end of her eyes, wiping the stain of tears that she had spent for him. "Don't cry. I'm right here."

The more he did that, the more her heart swelled and wrenched in sadness, "Stop doing that! Why are you being so gentle, now? Why do you keep on making me think about you? All you did to me was mistakes, but why do I care so much for you?"

He pulled his face down.

"So you're not going to look at me?" she cried out, "Fine! You know what? I'm sick of crying over you! Do you know how much time I spend? I had to apologize to Shima-senpai for ruining his shirt! Unlike you, he's not a stupid insensitive jerk!"

"Shima?" Natsume hissed, "How did he get into the picture?"

Mikan clamped her mouth shut and averted her face from him. "Nothing, forget everything I've just said to you."

Natsume clenched his teeth and seethed, "Forget? How can I forget? I'm trying to be nice, but you seem to have a habit of ruining it by mentioning something unpleasant."

"Don't call him with something. He's a person."

"I don't care," he pressured his gaze on her, "Is that it? You think he's better than me? You're choosing him over me?"

Mikan replied to his sharp look. "Stop doing that! Stop comparing yourself to others! Why can't you understand your worth? You're important to me, more than anyone in this world! How can you say something about choosing?" she had lost her composure.

Natsume froze. "You shouldn't tell lies."

"I'm not lying."

"Why?" he muttered, "Why me? Why not Ruka, or that Shima? Or that Andou?"

She snorted. "You're asking me that now? Figure that out on your own, genius."

"Tell me, or I'll kiss you."

"Psh, try me."

Mikan peered over her shoulder and saw that Natsume pulled the arms that caged her. "Natsume?"

She gulped.

"Don't blame me later, Polka, you ask for it," was what he said before he took her figure and crushed her to his body. Mikan pushed herself from him, but her arms was locked and she couldn't move. "What the—Natsume?"

He took her chin and tilted it, as he lowered his face to be with her eye level.

"Natsume—"

And then he pressed his lips with hers.

To Be Continued.

A/N: Ah, there's nothing to do with the book, but Natsume still have the jealousy issues with him so I guess it's not that out of topic, now is it? I'm sorry for the long update. School has been doing its job perfectly. Purrr-fectly. I just finished my mid-terms, and I knew that I hadn't updated my stories for a long, long, time. So I decided to update "How to Overcome Jealousy" first. Thanks for reading, and please review for lil'ol' me. Remember, no review, no update. :P

The Lonely Serenade

P.S: Btw, have you guys seen the sneak peek of GA chapter 144? It's so sweet!3