Yep.

I begrudgingly gave up everything I'd bought for Selene. The nursery was being torn down, all the money I'd spent just wound up flooding into the gutter, being taken by ungrateful hands, leaving me with nothing but the bed, dresser and cot, which Oliver hadn't needed because his mother had supplied him with at least that. I couldn't believe Lilly would want to live with him over me. He didn't wipe away her tears or sit with her for hours just to feel Selene kick. He didn't wrap his arms around her when she was cold, or make her breakfast in bed when she was too tired and sore to get up. Oliver didn't do anything but run away, only coming back because he was either frightened by my threats or because he felt guilty about leaving Lilly as a single mother. I didn't want to bring it up with Lilly, nor did I want to believe it myself, but I had this recurring thought that Oliver didn't love Lilly.

I tried to hide my contempt as I watched him compile Selene's things into his car, which used to be his mum's. He wasn't going to be able to afford looking after himself, Lilly, and Selene, I just knew it. His salary wasn't big enough and I was probably going to have to pitch in at some point. Still trying to keep a straight face, I turned to Lilly, who I'd felt watching me the whole time I attempted not to glower at her boyfriend. Though Lilly's perceptive eyes saw through my shield, as always. Even Selene was staring at me in an expectant manner. They knew me too well.

"You alright?" she asked. No, I'm not!

"Yes," I replied curtly, my eyes narrowing as Oliver alerted Lilly he was ready to go.

"You're lying. What's wrong? Are you not okay with this?"

"It doesn't matter. All I care about is you and Selene and if moving in with Oliver makes you happy, then that's what you'll do." Oliver impatiently honked the horn to his poxy car and I tried not to glare at him as I leant up to kiss Lilly's forehead and then bent to deliver one to Selene's as well. I really didn't want them to leave me and I was so frustrated that all my hard labour was just a waste. I slaved over Lilly and she repaid me by going back to Oliver. I'll never be able to forget this.

"I'm sorry, Miley. I just don't want a broken family."

"I know, Lil. I don't want you to either." I smiled at Selene and she stared at me questioningly. I stuck out my tongue and crossed my eyes. A light smile graced her face and her now slightly crinkled eyes resembled Lilly's so much. I knew for certain she was going to be beautiful when she grew up, just like her mother. Lilly chuckled at my expression and I stopped making faces and walked her to the car, opening the passenger door for Lilly and reaching for Selene so I could strap her into the baby seat Oliver had installed.

"Thanks for all your help, Miley," Oliver said, looking back at me as I buckled Selene's seat belt. I nodded with a half smile, not trusting myself to be able to say anything nice to him. I knew he felt on edge around me, but there wasn't anything I could do about my fury towards him. I wasn't going to forgive Oliver like Lilly had, it just wasn't possible. I'd always thought of Oliver as irresponsible and childish, but this was a whole new level for him and if he wanted to get back into my good books, which I doubted was possible, he had to prove to me that he could be an amazing father. But if he couldn't even be a half decent boyfriend, there was little hope for Oliver being any better at fathering a child.

I closed the car door and stood back as it hummed to life. Lilly waved to me as Oliver pulled out of my driveway and I weakly raised my hand to return the parting gesture. This was so much harder than I originally thought it would be. I didn't want to let them go because the idea of being a mother, it felt... right. Though not just a mother, but Lilly's partner. We would've made great parents and Lilly even told me that herself, that I was better than Oliver. Was that just the hurt talking or did she really think that?

"Who's a cute little girl? Who's Miley's baby girl? You are. Yes, you are," I cooed with an enormous grin as I hovered over Selene, who was nestled snugly in Lilly's arms.

"Gosh Miley, she's a baby, not a dog," Lilly said with a smile as Selene reached out and begun twiddling with strands of my hair, an evident mystification clear on her slowly developing face. She was looking more like Lilly every day, I noted gratefully. There was no trace of Oliver to be seen in her blue eyes or thin wisps of blonde hair.

I kissed Selene's nose and lifted my head, sticking my tongue out at Lilly. Protective over her mother and not appreciating my taunt, Selene's small hand raised up towards my mouth and I instantly retracted my tongue. I looked down at Selene's wide eyes and curious fingers, arm still outstretched. I laughed lightly and scooped her gently out of Lilly's grasp, too weak to resist her charm. Lilly relinquished Selene without question and watched with an intrigued expression as her daughter appeared unfazed by the transferral. I was still a little stunned myself, considering that it seemed that Selene only felt comfortable in my arms and Lilly's. With daddy, she would whimper, with Heather she would sniffle, and with Oliver, she wasted no time in crying her heart out.

"You should feel privileged that you're the only one she trusts apart from me," Lilly said, taking a seat on the couch once she dropped the bag that had been slung over her shoulder on the floor.

"I really do, but you need to think about it, Lil. I mean, who doesn't love me?" I joked with a cocky smile, which fell straight off when I caught Lilly's distant gaze. Feeling as if I was made of glass, I invisibly joined Lilly on the couch, cradling Selene carefully as she played with my necklace in fascination. Lilly continued staring right through me, so I leant closer. "When I click my fingers, you will tell me what's wrong," I foretold, but Lilly's eyes refocused and her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"When did you get here?"

"I live here." Lilly giggled, but the mirth that usually shone in her eyes was absent. "What's got you so down?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing always means something, Lilly. I'm not a guy, I know the code."

"It's Oliver," she relented.

"What's he done now? I swear if he's bringing home dead pigeons for dinner or trying to dress Selene in paper bags, I will hunt him down with daddy's shotgun. I know he has one..."

"It's nothing like that you drama queen. It's not even that big of a deal..."

"Then just tell me," I demanded.

"He just... He's not around when I need him and Selene is so restless at his apartment. I haven't had a good night's sleep in two weeks, Miles. I love Selene, but I need a break sometimes and I haven't had a moment to myself since I moved in with Oliver," Lilly said, wiping heavy hands over tired eyes as she paused to take a calming breath. "He avoids me when he comes home and goes straight to bed. It's like I'm not even there." Lilly didn't hide the pained undertone in her final words and I knew what was on its way. Tears. Lots of tears. Ones that shouldn't be wasted on Oliver.

"Don't sit back and take it, Lilly. Tell Oliver to be around more, tell him to spend time with you and stop expecting him to understand what you want. The boy needs guidance; he's not as evolved as you and me, Lil. He won't know what he's doing wrong unless you tell him," I explained firmly.

"I've known him longer than you and yet you seem to know him better." Lilly chuckled.

"Your hands are too full to waste time on Oliver's stupidity," I said and Lilly bobbed her head in agreement, her eyes sliding shut drowsily. Just like Selene, Lilly was was drifting off to sleep and I gently stood. Lilly remained undisturbed by the shift of the couch, so I discreetly made my way up stairs to put Selene to bed. I figured Lilly was going to visit me a lot and I wanted to save her a trip back to Oliver's, so I stocked up on everything Selene would need from diapers to a change of clothes. You could say I was a good friend for my hospitality and I'd like to believe that, but I know there's something more to it. Something hiding beneath layers of excuses, though it wasn't going to be uncovered any time soon. I refused to ponder on what it could be because even the possibility of what it was frightened me.

I carefully placed Selene down in her cot and pulled the thin pink blanket up to her frail shoulders. She was fast asleep. I took a moment to study her, wondering if Oliver was thankful for the new life he helped bring forth. I'd had yet to see him show affection to his daughter and Lilly was at my house longer every day, lost in her thoughts that I tried to coax out of her with little success. I knew she didn't want to be alone at Oliver's apartment and coming to my house made me consider my role in this small family. I had been just a replacement before, keeping Oliver's seat warm for him until he returned. Was I still just that, or was Lilly seeing me as something else?

I brushed my fingers against Selene's plush cheek and found myself wishing that I could've been her mother too. I knew I was only eighteen, but the need I had, the inbuilt instinct, to care for this baby just somehow plunged into my veins and I felt like motherhood was just another part of me. I wasn't too young because I felt ready, but that was only because Lilly was ready before me. I was just her shadow.

I snuck back down to the living room to find Lilly now sprawled out on the couch, her light snores filling the silence. I shook my head in amusement, remembering how on many occasions I'd held Lilly's nose to quiet her snoring until she woke up slapping my hand away on the sleepovers where we actually slept, and ventured into the kitchen, feeling hungry and guessing that Lilly hadn't eaten dinner yet.

"Is this actually edible?" Lilly asked as she poked at the spaghetti I'd placed before her.

"No, it's filled with rat poison," I snapped, forking some of the mincemeat into my mouth, not tasting anything horribly wrong with my cooking. With a wary hand, Lilly raised the fork piled with pasta to her mouth and sampled it. I raised a brow as her eyes glanced at me, fork still in mouth. She held my gaze, as if she were considering telling me her stomach just exploded. But she merely nodded her approval and dug into her dinner. I relaxed, glad that she wasn't repulsed and I absentmindedly ate as well, but my eyes were locked on Lilly.

Something was wrong with her face. Well, not wrong. I mean, it just... changed. Apart from the dark circles that stained beneath her eyes, every feature was normal, but still, in a way, unfamiliar to me. I squinted and observed every aspect, trying to understand what had altered. In response to my scrutiny, my heart swelled and I became so gravely aware of the space that separated us that I actually felt lonely. So extremely lonely. I stood, but hadn't really realised what I was doing until I was by Lilly's stool, embracing her needily. And with the satisfaction that seeped through my pores, I knew what had changed. It wasn't Lilly, it was me. Lilly didn't look any different, I was just seeing her differently. Scared, I clung to my fear harder and she stopped eating, fidgeting against me and to my delight, twisted to hold me in return.

Oh, Lilly... You have no idea what you're doing to me, I thought sadly.

"What's wrong?" she whispered into my neck. "So many things are wrong Lilly, so many things" is what I wanted to say as a chill quaked down my spine thanks to her hot breath on my jugular.

"I just wanted a hug," I said, which was partially true. But what I really wanted was something I couldn't have.

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