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I strode hurriedly down the narrow hallway, glancing rapidly at the doors lining each side of me with a simmering fear that one of the lurking wooden frames would suck me in and not find the heart to spit me back out. I discovered one practically thrown off its hinges, allowing those who past by to see the disarray within and I scrunched my nose in distaste as I spotted various empty pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn about. Who could possibly live in a tip and be so indifferent as to not actually consider the fact that people had to witness it? I didn't like thinking that there were other people like Jackson in society, so I turned away and travelled deeper into the dirty confines of the apartment complex, hoping to come across room thirty two soon.
A yell came from behind me, but I ignored it and moved faster. It sounded again and I slammed a nervous fist into the door I sought out. It opened and I flung myself in, being mindful to Lilly and Selene as they stared at me with identical expressions of surprise.
"Miley, what are you doing here?" Lilly asked and Selene's mirrored shock was quickly abandoned as she reached three-month-old arms out towards me, offering herself to be held.
"I saved you the trouble of coming all the way to my house," I replied, stepping forward to hug Lilly gently as Selene squirmed between us and pulled impatiently at my hair. She was in my arms when I left Lilly's.
"You know I don't like it when you turn up unexpectedly Miley. It's always such a mess here," Lilly said sadly, eyes sweeping over the unkempt apartment. "When Selene sleeps, I clean, and then Oliver gets home and makes a mess again." That numbskull is chewing on my last nerve.
"I need to have a word with him so I'm not leaving until he gets home. School's over for us and Oliver wasn't even there to receive his diploma, so technically he hasn't graduated. What is going on with him, Lilly?"
"He's just... working overtime a lot. He wants me to stay home and look after Selene while he works all day. That's how he likes it and he told me it's the only way he can support us all." Her gaze shifted and I picked up on the absence of something. There was a secret.
"Lilly, I told you if you want Oliver around more, just borrow some of my money for awhile to keep you all together. Consider it an early birthday present."
"My early birthday present was you setting up that nursery and that itself was more than I was worth."
"You're worth one hundred times more!" I argued.
"Miley, please. Just... stop trying to make things so easy for me. When normal people struggle with their lives, they don't go to their loaded best friend and ask for money. Most don't even have that option and simply because I do, doesn't make it okay for me to do it. It's not right for me to take what you earned." I stood without thought for a while, lost in Lilly's words that reflected her desire for independency. But regardless of their strength, they wouldn't convince me to take away the money proposition.
"I just want you to be happy, Lilly," I said. We shared a look; both of us wordlessly pleading for opposite things, but any further words were lost on our tongues as the front door swung open. Oliver stood in the threshold with a bag in hand, his eyes void like a hollowed stone as he scanned over me and Lilly with little recognition.
"I'm hungry," he said in a groggy voice, slipping out a large glass bottle from the bag and handing the paper sack to Lilly while he brushed past her towards the couch situated in front of a tiny TV propped up by a box. He turned it on and fell into the cushions.
"When did you start drinking, Oliver?" I asked, sparing a moment to glare at Lilly for her secrecy.
"The moment I was presented with a fake ID by a customer I had a couple weeks ago," he responded with a dry laugh. I wanted to smash the bottle over his head once he was done swallowing its contents as if it was his only source of nourishment. He paused for a second to breathe, and in that breath he unleashed a piggish burp which made Selene jump. Scared by the loud noise, she started to weep.
"Oh, Selene, don't cry sweetie. Daddy just burped," Lilly said softly as she tried to sooth her baby's cries, whom I rocked in an added attempt to do the same.
"Hey, I'm trying to watch TV here. Either quiet her down or go into another room," Oliver called over rudely.
"Some father you are," I grumbled, carrying Selene into Lilly and Oliver's room with a concerned mother on my heels.
I kicked the door shut and Lilly stood stiffly by the bed as I lowered Selene into her cot. Once she was safely engulfed in cotton, I turned to Lilly.
"Why didn't you tell me Oliver was drinking?" I asked crossly.
"It wasn't something I wanted to share..." She shrugged.
"Why are you keeping things from me Lilly?"
"Because I know you'll want me to move back in with you if you think Oliver isn't fathering Selene properly," she replied as she sat down on the double bed behind her, her legs no longer able to hold the weight of her stress.
"You're damn right! He's not worthy of the title, Lil. You want your family to be whole, but just because you're all together doesn't mean you're any less broken." Lilly's eyes shined and I felt the prick of tears clouding my vision as well.
"I want this to work Miley," she whispered. I sighed as her tone, shattered and pleading, effortlessly cooled my frustration and I stepped up to her slouched figure. The second it took for her to realise I was in front of her, her face was pressed into my stomach and her arms surrounded my hips as she cried.
"I'm going to talk to Oliver, okay?" She nodded and I swore to myself that this was Oliver's last chance.
Weeks went by without a complaint from Lilly, but, unlike her mother, Selene wasn't as skilled at keeping her troubles from bursting out in the form of tears and sobs. She was crying more often, waking up at irregular times, craving more than her formula and was evidently driving Lilly insane. Oliver was getting impatient with every customer down at Rico's Shack and he claimed to always have a headache, which told me he hadn't given up drinking for long after I had a chat with him about it. I firmly stated that he had to quit beckoning his gradual death to come closer and he just grunted and said it blocked out the sound of Selene crying, which would always increase if he was even in the same room with her now.
I knew it was difficult for Oliver to accept that his daughter may just hate him, but to go so low as to start binge drinking... It was stupid! He is depressed, I get that. But seriously, could he have chosen a more stupid way of dealing with it? Well, he could've started doing drugs, but alcohol consumption is still pretty awful in my books.
"Miley," daddy called from the kitchen, pushing away thoughts of the disaster that was Oliver Oken.
"Yeah?"
"How about I try look after Selene while you and Lilly go out for the night?" he suggested.
"I dunno daddy. I mean, even if Selene somehow gets over her fear of you," Daddy scowled and I cleared my throat to cover up my chuckle, "I doubt Lilly would want to leave her. Their bond is crazily strong and it even kinda stuns me at times."
"Well, tell her anyway. The offer always stands," he said and leant on the counter as if to wait and see how Lilly reacts to the proposal. A knock rattled the door and my ribcage as my heart jumped at the sudden noise I hadn't been prepared for. I went to wave Lilly inside, but she'd already opened the front door with Selene bundled into her blue stroller.
"Hey, Lil. You walked?" I questioned as I stood up to eagerly get her into my arms. Our greeting hugs were a personal occasion I looked forward to, but let's not go into that...
"Yep! Some fresh air and exercise was exactly what I needed," she piped happily, but her bright smile contrasted nastily with the dark circles that seemed to haunt her pretty face daily. Regardless of the forlorn feeling her sleep deprived appearance conjured, I still managed to smirk at what I saw at the corner of her mouth.
"Exercise and ice cream, it seems," I said as I wiped off the drip of white beside her lips, thoughtlessly licking the remains of desert from my finger. I glanced up and my insides received a swift pang in response to the mists of blue gazing at me with a shadowing darkness of longing. I could recognise such a deep stare from an ocean away.
"Damn, I thought I got it all," she muttered, a light humour replacing the previous need that I was so sure had been there. But with its quick disappearance, something told me that maybe it was only there because I wanted it to be. Maybe I was just creating an illusion to satisfy my strange new desire for...her. For Lilly.
"Selene eats more decently than you," I chastised, but was smiling all the while. Well, trying to.
"Speaking of which!" Daddy interrupted suddenly, ambling over towards the restless baby in the stroller. He reached for her and I heard the whimpers start instantly. My hopes of a night alone with Lilly washed away as Selene brought on the waterworks.
"Dang, I thought for sure she would've gotten over it by now..." he grumbled and Lilly shot me a quizzical glance.
"Daddy wanted to give us a night to ourselves while he watched Selene," I supplied and Lilly's eyes widened.
"Oh! No, no that's okay Mr S. Selene isn't a bother at all and Miley and I can still go somewhere with her." Her reaction was one I expected.
"Well, alright then..." Daddy knew as well as I did that he would accomplish nothing arguing with a mother who was more attached to her daughter than the stars were to the sky.
"Thanks though," she added and daddy smiled.
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