The city Mt Bur-Omisage had changed greatly since last Penelo had seen it. No longer was it the smoking ruins of devastation left in the wake of the vengeful Judge.
However, it wasn't the thriving city of infused with refugees she remembered before it had been destroyed, either. That had been a place of safety; a home to scholars, writers, artists and holy men that wished to find peace from the outside world while following higher pursuits. This city seemed…empty. Repaired but with held breath, waiting, as if any moment new life would once again walk it's now barren streets.
Penelo didn't know much about the new Grand Kiltias other than he had been a relation of the former one and that he did not find his answers in dreams as the last did. Rather he referred to a connection to the mist not unlike the connection Viera felt towards their forest. The other rumors were vague enough to be discounted, but if Balthier thought the Grand Kiltias could help, she was sure he must have heard something to credit that feeling.
In the main district, a few shops catered to the curious tourists that still made their way to this holy place. Being back here was like viewing the present through a double lens. So easy it was to recall their last stop here on their grand adventure to stop their world from dying. Lost in nostalgic reflection, she could almost ignore the cold connection that was growing stronger between herself and Balthier.
Casting a sideways glance over at the sky pirate, Penelo found she could read his emotions as well as she had ever been able to read Vaan's moods, if not better. The thought was a little unsettling. I sure hope it's a one way connection. He's not likely to be happy if he knows I can understand what he's feeling.
There was a sudden surge of aloof pride from the sky pirate that grew stronger as they moved nearer to the streets and more importantly, closer to the pedestrians. The combination of loneliness and empathy that had pervaded his thoughts since the summoning back on the ship was covered over by it. The well practiced art of covering his emotions was similar to a street performer pulling on a mask.
Moving through the crowd proved annoying and difficult for Balthier. It didn't take long to figure out that other pedestrians couldn't see the man and each step was a dance to avoid collisions. After one particularly nasty street delayed them considerably, Penelo sighed, trying not to smile. "Why not just let them walk through you? I'm the only one that can touch you, after all."
Dodging to avoid being run over by a large man carrying a stack of books, Balthier shot her a dark look. "Walk through me?" He repeated incredulously. Penelo instantly regretted her words. "A man would like to think of himself as more than a mere shadow – not that I should think you'd be able to understand such a thing."
They approached the audience chamber in silence for the rest of the way. Balthier's progress remained slow but thankfully, none of the streets close to the central temple were very busy at the late noon hour.
one of the guards moved forward to stop Balthier from progressing. His heavy hand pressed against Balthier's chest, stopping the man forcefully in mid-step. The other guard moved forward to answer their astonished looks, "The unborn goes no further. The lord will see you and you alone." He motioned to Penelo.
Penelo gasped. "But how did you, how can you -?" She stammered, looking at the very real hand on Balthier's very solid looking chest.
"Go now or go not at all." Was the guard's gruff answer. It left no room for argument. Giving Balthier a look she hoped seemed more confident than she felt, Penelo quickly dodged between the two guards. "I'll be right back! Don't worry!"
Giving another testing push against the guards unyielding hand, Balthier backed away, a half hearted smile playing over his features. "I'll wait here than, shall I?"
The guards didn't answer. He hadn't expected them to but for a moment, only a moment, he had halfway hoped they would speak to him again, push him away, demand he leave, something. Things were going poorly indeed if the sky pirate was wishing attention from the city guard.
Alone again, Penelo off on his wild goose chase, trying to track down a strand of hope that he couldn't quite make himself believe in anymore. His father had been many things in life and maybe that had increased ten fold in death but what had happened on the Strahl, that spoke of a power greater than his father's insanity and that was saying something.
The man straightened his perfect cuffs and moved away from the temple entrance. The sun was about to kiss the highest point in the sky, not that he would know it. He felt nothing, not the warmth of the sun nor the smooth street beneath his feet. A numbness he was growing use to and that worried him more than the lack of sensation. It all too much reminded him of another time, a life time ago, when he had taught himself to block out feeling. It had been of the emotional kind, granted but hadn't Balthier found a comfort in that cold mindlessness as well?
As if summoned from his dark thoughts and his even darker thoughts, a figure suddenly appeared down the street from him. If the it had always been there waiting or if by a trick of the mist, he had conjured up the very image of everything that had gone so wrong in his past, he didn't know.
It was a mirage, he knew. The crowd moved as insubstantial through the suit of polished steel and cruelty as they would move through himself, if he had allowed it.
"Humph." Crossing his arms causally, the sky pirate cocked his head, regarding the Judge's suit callously. It didn't approach. It stood still, taking in his gaze with utter indifference as if it had been there forever and Balthier was simply another face in the passing crowd.
"Isn't that something?" He asked ironically. There was absolutely no mistaking the familiar curve of the helmet, nor could Balthier deny the familiar chill that ran over his skin with recognition. He knew all too well what every bent of that metal would feel like, nestled against his body. Judge's suits were cooled constantly by freeze spells, far too cold to be comfortable, just lacking the intensity to numb the wearer. He knew it was that spell that allowed Judges to fight alert and ready in the sluggish of desert heats. Winter, however…
The man shook his head, having no wish to revisit that particular horror. Taking a step towards the apparition, it stirred nerves in him as if he had stepped towards an electric elemental, not a mere memory. There was… a strange ache in him. It felt like…oh hell. That one step had brought him more than just closer to the suit.
A soft mountain breeze ran through his hair – and he felt it! Felt it move over him, soothing and calm. He could feel his chest rise in fall, feel the sunlight that was peaking around the mountain side. Maybe not with the same clarity that he had known before, but after going so long numb to the world, it felt divine. The suit responded, whether to the sudden pleasure from Balthier or his distraction, it took another lumbering step forward. The feelings in Balthier intensified. Before him, he could see the motes of dust floating on the fractured beams of light as they broke over the mountain tops. The soft breeze was ingrained in his pores, rushing through him. Every breath taken reached from the top of his lungs to the soles of his feet, regenerating him. For the first time in far too long, his heart came to life in his chest with throbbing beats.
.:Come:. The voiceless order filled a dark place in his thoughts, the suit taking another step forward. It rang empty, a twisted echo of his own voice. Any feeling of pleasure Balthier had been enjoying dried up as quickly as the dead pan look flashed on his face. His stormy eyes were dangerous.
"So, it speaks." His voice was malice, cutting the air. "Handy trick from a memory, that."
.:As much of a memory as you are becoming but perhaps with more truth:.
Though by passers couldn't witness the exchange between the man and the suit standing in the middle of the street, the few pedestrians that moved past the stand off looked as if on some level they could pick up on the unnatural exchange. The ones more sensitive to the mist would stop, as if confused before rushing on to their destination. Balthier, noticing this, was thankful that Viera did not frequent this city oft anymore, for he had no doubt they would be able to see what was happening as clearly as he did.
The suit made no move to further close the distance between them. .:Come or is this barren existence what you would have for us?:.
"Us?" He asked with an arched eyebrow. "There is no us. I see an illusion created by a desperate man, hoping to either make me regret, repent or rush to repeat a best forgotten past in favor over this… shadow of an existence I'm currently experiencing. Tell the old man he'll have to do better than pulling a skeleton out of my considerable collection to make me play in to his hands." Balthier turned to move away.
.:Join with me, make us whole again, or you'll die in truth:.
Balthier stopped, considering the judge's suit from over his shoulder. For the first time ever, the sky pirate let on that he understood, truly that he was playing against more than his father and that perhaps, he had never been against him at all.
Softly and with more thought than usually lined his cold tones. "If I join with you, I'm already dead. I shan't be a trinket to summon by some half witted adventurer. Nor shall I wait for Penelo to decide I need handing over to our dear Queen at early convenience. I should rather die in truth than be trapped in a cryst, plaything to the mist until I forget I ever was a man at all."
.:You know you don't have enough time left to die in truth, not in your current company. That's why you have her chasing shadows. You're afraid that if Penelo no longer doubts your nature, shakes off the lingering doubt that you are indeed a fledging summon, she'll hand you over to the court magi. Valid fear indeed, she's naïve but it won't stop her feelings of self righteousness for long. A day, maybe two, and she'll go running back to Vaan and her morals. Let us join now. At our full power, she won't be more than an annoyance standing in the way of our freedom:.
"I'll never join with the likes of you. I'll fade. Be forgotten-."
.:You already tried to forget yourself once, "Balthier":. Inside the cold, empty armor, deathly pale mist was swirling from the hollow eye sockets, threatening to drag him under should he venture to look too deeply for too long. .:Look at far you got on that coin. Shamed past, patricide, companions that know you only for the farce you so readily serve them. Embrace the emptiness you sowed inside yourself, it is the only legacy you have left:.
The voice mocked him, pulling out the painful truths of his life and parading them through his mind as if it delighted in stripping away all of his self delusions. Ah but can it be a delusion, Balthier thought, if I never believed my own lies?
"Be gone. I choose the weight of my sins, not you, not my father and certainly not the gods. Death is a far superior companion to enforced guilt."
.:Funny, you think you ever had a choice. Maybe you do have enough power left in that fading form, but I doubt it. Come to me, where you so conveniently divided yourself, Ffamran. Come soon while you still can, or I will come to you and scoop up with little remains. I know how much you miss my cold embrace, the power that came with it even your pride won't let you admit it to yourself, I know you enjoyed it what you were forced to do in that cave.
Mist swirled up around the suit, breaking apart the image until it was completely gone. Nothing but the shimmering of heat off the mid-day streets remained.
"I'm not you." Balthier whispered to himself. "Not now, not ever again."
And he almost believed it.