Santa Came Early This Year

-Camp Warriors of Justice

"I bet you can't wait for tomorrow so that your adorable little kitty costume will come off. Am I right? Huh? Huuuh?" Axel jeered poking Sephiroth with a stick. The man hissed and swatted the stick away.

"You know, he's probably going to kill you once he gets out of that costume." Leon remarked.

"I know, but I couldn't possibly let this opportunity pass - got it memorized?" Axel grinned.

Leon shrugged, "Your funeral."

"That was the most pointless challenge ever." Zexion said crossing his arms.

"I agree. I hope we never have to do a challenge like that again." Vexen said wearily as he laid down in the sand to watch the setting sun.
"Don't let Sora hear you two say that." Xemnas commented. Said person was busy digging through the bag of toys that was the prize from the haunted house challenge.

"Ooooh! It's a rubix cube!" he exclaimed pulling out a multi-colored cube. Tossing it aside, he went back to sifting through the sack. Riku knelt down and stared intently at the cube.

"So many colors...can't look away..." he murmured picking it up, his eyes wide.

"Look at me, guys! I've got googly eyes!" Sora pointed to his face where he had on a pair of glasses that had springs for lenses with plastic eyeballs glued to them.

"Great for you kid, but is there anything in there that isn't from some ridiculous 25 cent store?" Vexen asked.

"Umm, well there's a mini chemistry set in here." Sora replied pulling out a rather large box that had a depiction of a runny nosed boy holding a smoking test tube with protective goggles on his face.

"Science! My baby!" Vexen exclaimed lunging at the box and holding it to his chest.

"Is there anything else in there?" Xemnas asked, interested. Sora didn't hear him because he was too busy blowing up bright green balloons. Xemnas scowled and said, "I guess I'll just have to see for myself." He walked over to the bag and rummaged around in it. His hand grasped something and he pulled out a blonde Barbie doll. His eye twitched. "What are we gonna do with this?" he asked.

"I'm sure you can find something to do with it." Riku smirked.

"Just what are you implying?"

"That you Play. With. Dolls." Riku answered emphasizing each word.

"That's it!" Xemnas yelled throwing the Barbie at the boy, then charging him. Sadly, he missed and fell face first into the sand.

Meanwhile, Sora had gone back to searching through the sack. "Ooh! A firefighter helmet!" he exclaimed pulling out a shiny plastic helmet and putting it on his head, where it clashed horribly with his spiky hair. Axel caught sight of the boy and suddenly exclaimed,

"Quick everyone! Hide your fires! The evil exterminator is here!" He then ran over and kicked sand in Sora's face.

"Be gone demon spawn!" Axel shouted. (Riku was too busy with his multicolored cube of happiness to stop the angry pyro).

"Looks like I'll have to be the one to help Sora." Leon sighed striking his hand-on-face™ pose. "Axel, stop bullying Sora." he said grabbing the man by the hood.

"B-but he wants to kill the fire..." Axel pouted.

"No he doesn't. Now get a hold of yourself." Leon said calmly. Axel bowed his head and walked away to torture Sephiroth some more.

"Wow, Leon. You acted just like a father back there." Riku commented without looking away from his rubix cube.

"I wonder what he would be like as a real father..." Riku wondered.

-Flash forward to a future that will probably never happen

"Honey! I've got a meeting to go to! Can you take care of the kids?" a woman's voice rang throughout the house.

"Sure!" an older Leon called back from his spot on the couch reading the newspaper. Suddenly, a mini Sora look-alike came bounding out of the hall and leapt into Leon's lap. (The newspaper was torn in half by the young boy). Leon sighed and patted the boy on the head. "How many times have I told you not to rip my morning paper?"

"I didn't wip it daddy, I just gave it a makeover!" The boy protested as he drew a happy face on one of the torn pieces of paper.

Suddenly there was a loud bang. Leon sighed again and pulled out his spare newspaper. "Sounds like your brother is up." he commented. No sooner had he said that, a mini Axel look-alike burst out brandishing a flamethrower.

"Wahoo! Burn! Burn like daddy's fried eggs!"

"I know that I can't cook eggs - so sue me. Anyway, put that thing away - if your mother finds out you were playing with the flamethrower, she'll send you to that Smokey the Bear workshop again." Leon warned. Mini Axel shuddered and ran back to his room. "Now go feed the cats and let daddy get back to reading his paper." Leon said to the remaining boy.

"Okay! Snugglebunny kwitty! Where are you?" mini Sora called walking away.

-End of Flash forward to a future that will probably never happen

Leon shuddered. "Remind me never to become a father." he muttered to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, back in the Bat Cave...

"Robin, it looks like the joker has struck again!" Batman said standing up and swishing his cape around himself.

"Oh. I guess we'd better stop him..." Robin said unenthusiastically.

"What's the matter, Boy Wonder?" Batman asked dramatically.

"It's just that, why do you get the cool cape?"

"Because, my young friend, you are not yet ready."

"Hot diggidy damnit."

Meanwhile, back at camp...

Axel was busy throwing sticks for Sephiroth. "Go get the stick! Come on, you can do it!"

"Meow, meow." (Translation: That only works for dogs, you moron.)

Axel pouted then got the toy sack and went through it. He suddenly got a glint in his eye. "Well, what about...THIS?!" He pulled out a catnip mouse and dangled it in front of Sephiroth. And suddenly, the man couldn't control himself. He leapt at the mouse and swatted it out of Axel's grip. Playfully, he chased it around on all fours, whacking it with his hand/paw. Axel collapsed in laughter.

"You know he is going to kill you - you've just sealed your fate." Zexion said crossing his arms. Axel got back to his feet and grinned at the stoic man.

"Ah, come on Zexy! Loosen up and live a little!" he said slinging his arm around the shorter man's shoulders.

"Remove your arm from my shoulders." Zexion said without flinching.

"Make me." Axel challenged. Zexion sighed and shut his eyes. Suddenly, a crow attacked Axel!

"Ahhh! Leave me alone you evil bird!" he cried.

"I'll save you!" Sora cried unearthing his Bob the Builder blankie and taking the time to tie it around the neck of his bunny costume. Meanwhile, Axel was being mauled by the bird. Finally, an eternity later, Sora came charging at the crow and whacked it with his drumsticks. Cursing Sora, the crow flew away.

"What is with this island and bird attacks?" Xemnas asked stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"I wonder..." Axel muttered stealing a glance at Zexion who had a number of colorful birds gathered around him.

-Camp Dominators-

Larxene was in the middle of a very important announcement to her fellow teammates. "I have designed a new training regiment for us. We will no longer have to watch as team Warriors of Justice steals the victories that should be ours!" she waved her fist in the air menacingly.

"Will there be pain and sweat?" Xigbar asked.

"You bet."

"Dude! That's so totally wicked!" Xigbar exclaimed high-fiving Cloud while everyone else groaned sadly.

"How are me and Dem-Dem supposed to exercise in these costumes?" Yuffie asked.

"Dem-Dem?" Demyx questioned.

"Well, you two are the most important part of the training!" Larxene smiled. Demyx and Yuffie had a sudden chill go down their spines.

-Fast forward 5 minutes

"Yuffie, just so you know, I blame this on you!" Demyx shouted.

"Can't talk - will puke!" Yuffie replied. At the moment, Kairi was using Yuffie's costume as a sort of treadmill by running on it's side. Xigbar was using Demyx as a punching bag. Cloud was lifting trees instead of weights. Larxene was barking orders at Marluxia to keep doing push ups.

"It's all for my babies, It's all for my babies..." he repeated, his eyes on a plant gripped in Larxene's hands. "You are cruel and inhuman!" he bawled, dabbing tears out of his eyes.

"Less whining and more exercising!" Larxene commanded. Her eyes widened and she murmured, "That's a good catch phrase - I should use it more often..."

Meanwhile, Kairi was still running atop the Oreo costume. "Can't...go...on..." she panted. Finally, she fell off and the Oreo (along with Yuffie inside of it), came to a stop and toppled over.

"Wow...look at all the pretty clouds..." Yuffie murmured, her eyes spinning.

Back with Demyx and Xigbar, Xigbar was still punching the burrito man.

"Uh-h-h, X-igbar?"

"What's up Demmy?" Xigbar asked without ceasing his punching.

"D-do you h-av-e a p-pers-onal vend-etta against my c-costume?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Be-cause you are b-eat-ing the stu-ffing out of it."

"Oh well." And Xigbar continued his punching.

-Fast forward to 30 seconds before midnight

A blonde woman in a light dress ran out of the forest and exclaimed, "Has anyone seen my glass slipper?" The group shook their heads. "Damn!" she exclaimed and ran off again.

Her exit was marked by the appearance of a man who asked, "Has anyone seen a blonde woman in a light dress come running this way?" The group pointed in the direction the woman had left in. The man took off calling, "Hold on fairest maiden! I didn't even get your cell phone number!"

With a sudden flash of light, all of the costumes fell off and everyone was free. Wondrously free! However, in Demyx's case, that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Seeing as how Xigbar was still punching him, he received the full force of one of his blows and was sent flying. Appropriately, he said, "Owie..."

"I think we can stop now." Larxene said. Everyone gratefully collapsed to the ground. She tossed the plant back to Marluxia, who caught it and began stroking it fondly.

"Don't you all feel so much stronger now?" Larxene asked.

"I feel sweaty." Marluxia said with distaste as he splashed some water on his face.

"Oh, you may be sweaty on the outside, but I bet you're feeling pretty accomplished on the inside." she grinned.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm sweaty on the inside too." Marluxia replied.

"I'm sooo hungry!" Kairi exclaimed holding her stomach as it made odd noises. "Can you call up some donuts again, Yuffie?" she asked looking over to the ninja girl who had just joined the group.

"Donuts?" she murmured thoughtfully. Suddenly her face contracted and she screamed, "No! Not round sugariness!" She collapsed and held her head muttering, "Make it go away, Make it go away!"

"Uh, Yuffie, is that a 'no' to the donuts?" Kairi asked.

"Yessss!"

"Yes to the donuts?"

"Noooo!"

"oh."

-Camp Warriors of Justice

Zexion and Riku were sitting next to the fire when they heard a shriek.

"What was that scream?" Riku asked.

"I'm hypothesizing that it had something to do with Yuffie's life-scarring experience in that Oreo costume. She is now most likely afraid of anything round and sugary." Zexion said as he took notes in his journal.

"What makes you think that?" Riku asked curiously. Zexion looked up from his paper and stared at the teen for a moment, then went back to writing without saying anything.

"You might want to get out of the way." Zexion said as he continued to write.

"Why?" Before Riku could get an answer, he was trampled by Axel, who was too busy fleeing for his life to apologize. Following closely in his wake was Sephiroth - free of his cat costume - with a murderous expression on his face. The pyro suddenly tripped and sprawled out with his face planted in the sand. He scrambled to his knees and kneeled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I repent! Just don't kill me!" Sephiroth paid no heed to his pleas and grabbed Axel by his hair, pulling him into his torture chamber of Doom.

Riku recovered from his recent trampling and asked, "Shouldn't we stop Sephiroth before he actually kills Axel?"

"Sephiroth may be angry, but he wouldn't kill Axel knowing that we'll need him for tomorrow's challenge." Zexion answered plainly.

"I see what you mean." Riku paused, "But, speaking of being angry, aren't you kinda annoyed about him?" he gestured to Sora who was sleeping next to Zexion and occasionally muttering something related to Zexion-coolness and radio talk shows every few minutes.

The man gave Sora an apathetic look and said, "No, not really."

"Oh. Well, goodnight." Riku said laying down and cuddling up with his rubix cube.

Okay, it took me a little longer to update this time...Review please. It makes me happy.