English Accents are Fun Like That

-Camp Dominators

"So, um, what are we going to do with all of this fruit?

"We could… make a fruit smoothie." Demyx suggested.

"We've already done that!" Larxene said holding out a coconut half filled with a curious fruity substance.

"Oh." Demyx muttered.

"Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?!" Kairi asked, pulling out her portable mini radio and playing some salsa music. And the whole group broke out in song and dance.

-5 minutes later. Xigbar was dancing wildly, singing, "I've got sand in my pants! I've got sand in my pa-ants!!!" He ran around the fire throwing leaves and generally being a complete mofo.

-10 minutes later. "I will kill you with a plastic fork!" Kairi screamed, charging a nearby pelican. It squawked and threw a mud ball at the advancing girl's face.

-15 minutes later. Marluxia had accused everyone and their moms of being racist.

-At 20 minutes, Supernanny had arrived to calm the unruly children.

"Where are the parents?!" She asked in that English accent of hers. She grabbed Larxene and Xigbar and scolded them. "How could you let your children behave as such?!" She demanded waving her hands in the direction of the party.

"Hold on- what in the world gives you the idea that those are our children?!" Larxene asked scathingly, pulling her arm out of the woman's hold.

"Because you two are the oldest people here, so logically, it follows that they are your children." Supernanny replied.

A vein popped somewhere in the region of Larxene's face as she replayed that moment over and over in slow motion. "Old…old…old…"

"Dude! No one here looks even remotely related!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"Old…old…old…"

"Why of course they do! Look - even those two have the same eyes!" Supernanny said pointing to Demyx and Cloud.

"Old…old…old…"

"Anyway, like I said, you two are horrid parents. Look what a poor job of parenting you've done! You've turned this perfectly respectable young man gay!" Supernanny pulled Marluxia into the argument.

"Hey! I'm not gay!" Marluxia whined.

"Yes you are dear, now hush up." The woman scolded him. Marluxia scowled and walked away.

"Old…old! Old! Ooooold!!!!" Larxene had finally blown and violently charged Supernanny, pulling at the woman's neat little bun.

"Oh no you didn't!" The woman exclaimed throwing Larxene off of her back and pulling out her extendo-gloves. "Never pay too much for car insurance!" She yelled as she pounced on the blonde Nobody.

(A/N: No characters, people or tropical birds were harmed in the making of this scene)

The fight lasted a neat 497 seconds - or if you will, 8 minutes and 17 seconds, or 7.34394ths of an hour, or…never mind. Anyway, Supernanny picked up what was left of her mascara and ran away screaming, "I'll be back and I will fix your way of living!"

-The following is a subliminal message-

You want a rice crispy treat.

-end subliminal message-

-Camp Warriors of Justice

"It feels so… strange without Sephiroth here." Leon commented.

"I know what you mean…" Zexion said. The two let out a simultaneous sigh.

"What's up with them?" Axel asked watching the two usually apathetic men sulk.

"Ah, they're just depressed since they lost the power of their emo trinity." Xemnas said.

"Personally, I'm glad he's gone. There's no more killer intent hanging around the camp." Axel said contently.

"Yeah, you would be since you were number one on his 'to murder' list." Xemnas smirked.

There was suddenly a loud explosion followed by the sounds of Vexen's cursing.

"What's wrong?" Sora asked into the smoke cloud that had gathered around the scientist.

"I, er, made a slight miscalculation." Vexen muttered. The smoke cleared revealing the Nobody who had a blackened face and hair that had become lime green.

Sora's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "OMG! There's a gremlin on your head Vexen!"

Said scientist was too embarrassed to correct him. "Just, never mind that." He mumbled.

"What were ya doin'?" Axel asked.

"I was creating a formula that would help us win challenges." Vexen said puffing out his chest.

"But you failed?"

Vexen deflated then yelled, "Respect your elders!"

"I wasn't disrespecting you!"

Vexen's eyes darted all over the place before he said, "Yes you were! You didn't bow down to me!"

Axel raised his eyebrows and asked, "You don't really expect me to actually-" Vexen glared ice daggers at Axel and the Nobody quickly knelt to the ground. "I respect you greatly O old one! I respect the fact that you use face creams to try and hide your wrinkles! I respect your old person smell! I even respected you when you yelled at me and Demyx to quit playing on you lawn!"

Vexen's eye twitched. "No one was supposed to know about my face cream!" He yelled as Axel got up and ran for cover, dodging little ice daggers.

"Why is it that Axel is always on someone's nerves?" Riku wondered out loud.

"Because, obviously, he is a mental case." Xemnas replied.

Meanwhile, Sora had decided to wander around the area surrounding the camp. He walked around humming and occasionally shouting out "Pop goes the weasel!" A bit later, his abnormally large feet started to hurt so he pulled out a chair and sat down. Then, it occurred to him that it was a little odd that there was a chair in the middle of the forest. Looking around, he realized that he was sitting in an outdoor restaurant.

There was a smiling blonde cook at the counter who asked, "Would you like to order sir?"

Sora stroked his chin thoughtfully and said, "Uh, yeah. I'd like the number 4."

"Cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake?"
"Yep."

"That'll be $4.50." He said as he pressed buttons on the cash register without even looking at it.

"Do you take credit?"

"Sure!" The man replied, still grinning as he took the offered card. Sora blinked a couple of times as something reeeeealy shiny reflected in his eyes.

"What's wrong sir?" The man asked, still not looking down at what his hands were punching into the cash register.

"Um, your teeth are kinda bright."

The man (who had been christened 'Ralfe' by his nametag) dropped his grin and said in a low voice, "No they're not." Then he started smiling again. Ralfe handed Sora a receipt and said, "Your order number is 1. Your food will be with you shortly." The smiling man went behind a curtain and there was a sound of a blender turning on. Then, several more alarming sound came from behind the curtain such as an elephant roar, helicopter blades turning, a dog barking, a fire alarm, tires screeching, an ostrich singing, a sports announcer, a shot gun, then finally, a long piercing scream. There was silence as the man emerged (still smiling) with a tray of food.

Sora was trembling in fear and asked uncertainly, "Hey, um, Ralfe, what were those noises?"

The smile dropped off of the cook's face for a second time and he said, "I heard nothing." Then, like before, he went back to being happy.

"Oh, well, I guess I'm gonna…eat now." Sora said sitting down and eating the food. After finishing, he decided that he should get back to camp and drag the others to this place. So, at top speed, he ran back to camp, hearded the others and dragged them through the forest and to the restaurant.

"And then I ordered a number 4 and he was like 'a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake?' and I was like-" Sora stopped talking once they reached the restaurant. Though there were a couple of differences now. One was the fact that there was no smiling blonde cook. Another was a large 'out of business' sign hanging on the counter.

"You mean we came all this way for nothing?!" Xigbar exclaimed. "Dude, that's not cool!"

"Oh! Now's my chance to find out what's behind that curtain!" Sora exclaimed hopping over the counter. He pulled the sheet of fabric back and revealed… a plain bbq pit and a toy llama. Sora picked the toy up and squeezed it.

"Llama!" Said the toy in a high pitched voice.

"Oooh! How cool!" Sora squealed and squeezed it again.

"Llama!" And again. Llama!" And again. "Report to your next challenge at the giant coconut tree!" It said in a deep voice. And again. Llama!"

"Wait, what was that last one?" Riku asked. Sora pushed the magical rewind button on the llama's tail.

"You heard me mofo, report to your next challenge!" It said again in the deep voice.

"Does anyone else find that toy disturbing?" Zexion asked.

Everyone raised their hands and muttered, "I do."