A/N: So many great reviews so little time. THANKYOU FOR ALL OF THE GREAT REVIEWS! WOOT.

--

"Did you get laid? At least tell me you got laid." Foreman asked putting down the newest patients' folder on the conference table.

"No, but we did have a good time." Chase's Australian drawl followed.

"Good time? Not a great time I presume."

"It's not all about that." He sighed.

Foreman laughed, "Yeah, she probably just didn't like your floppy hair."

Chases' face reddened, "My hair is not floppy."

"It's floppy." Cameron said sitting down to her laptop.

"Whatever." He muttered.

The few second silence was interrupted by a crash in the other office. The three fellows looked up and toward the door in curiosity.

"What was that?" Chase asked.

"Do I look like I'm in there?" Foreman retorted.

A few strung curses were heard and then the door opened to House, soaking wet.

"What happened to you?" Cameron asked standing up from her seat.

"Pissed." House said grabbing a mug from the sink and filling it up with water.

Foreman rolled his eyes but kept quiet.

House turned the faucet off and quickly turned around. No one saw the blond kid come silently through the room with a cup of his own. House limped carefully a few steps and stood still. The kid was smiling, not noticing the three others in the room.

House shook the water out of his hair with a dog-like movement and flung the water in front of him.

Cameron gasped, "What are you doi-"

The kid was soaked, laughing. The team was stunned to silence.

"Round two. Coffee. Shit burns."

"Shit burns." The kid said still giggling. He still had remnants in his cup and threw the rest of it on his opponent. House jumped slightly at the, still not familiar, moisture.

"Oh that's it McDonald." He said with a frown on his face. He grabbed the sprayer in the sink and turned the water on full blast. He pulled the trigger and the kid was screaming with laughter when the spray hit him.

Speechless.

The entire team was speechless. House actually smiled, but covered it quickly when the child came at him at full blast hitting him in the stomach to get the sprayer away from him. They were wrestling for it, getting the entire backside of the office wet. House was on the ground with the kid on top of his chest pointing the sprayer into his face. Water was up his nose, in his eyes, and his mouth. He shook his head back and forth trying to get the kid to stop.

"TRUCE, TRUCE…. I call…. A truce!"

The kid pulled back and smiled wide. "I win." He said simply.

"This was not a game. You almost blew out my computer. That was not cool."

The kid simply smiled.

"I. Win."

"Yes, yes fine you win. Big deal, you cheated."

"I WON!" He yelled and jumped off of Houses water soaked chest. House pulled himself up off of the ground with a wince. His face was dripping and his clothes were stuck to him.

"You are the queen of doodyheads."

The kid just stayed smiling up at him. "I still won."

He bent down to where he was face to face with him, "It. Was. Not. A. Game."

"You're just damned mad cuz you didn't win! Loser."

"Buttface." House muttered childishly.

The kid frowned and gave a final spray to his groin.

"Nice." House said with a sigh. "Go to my office. And clean up your mess."

Ronald stuck his tongue out and turned right toward the team. His smile turned into a frown very quickly as he backed up into House. His face went solemn and he stared silently as he backed up inches closer to House. House put a hand on the kids' shoulder in the way he had grown accustomed to in the past three hours and pushed him toward the other office.

He pushed the door opened swiftly and led him to his office chair. He grabbed some tissues and wiped the kids' hands off.

"You can play games. I have loads, and if you get bored with that, surf the Internet…isn't that what you kids are into these days."

"I'm five." He repeated.

"I know." House said over-dramatically. He sighed, "Barney is on there."

"REALLY?!" He asked excited, But sobered when he remembered what House had said before, "Barney is gay."

"Yes he is. But I'm not going to forbid you to watch him." He said rolling his eyes.

Ronald smiled and turned to the computer screen quickly. House pulled up a site and eventually found Barney episodes for the kid to watch.

"I'm going to keep this door opened, but I have to go in there and do my job."

"What's your job?" The kid asked not knowing anything about this stranger.

"I'm a doctor." He said in a dramatic whisper. "A secret agent spy doctor who can figure out mystery illnesses known to no other man. I am the alpha male, the king, the one and only."

"WOW." The kid whispered in awe.

"Yes, wow. It is very wow indeed." His eyes widened exaggerating his point.

"Go do your secret work." He said smiling.

"Thank you child. You will now be the heir of all my treasures."

He giggled, "I don't even know what that means."

House let out a short (incredibly short) laugh that shocked him. He didn't laugh. This kid was getting to him.

--

"Who's the patient and is he or she dying?" House asked sitting down beside Cameron. She couldn't stop staring at him. He leaned closer to where their shoulders were touching and whispered ever so loudly in her ear, "Do your job and leave my lovely pectorals out of this."

She blushed and turned her head away quickly. "I wasn't looking." She muttered to no one in particular.

Foreman held back a laugh, and Chase smiled.

"So…who's the kid?" Foreman curiously asked.

"My…colleague." He stated simply, "What's with the patient he asked for the second time this sitting." House was sarcastic, they knew, but he seemed almost…giddy. The word actually sent a shiver through Foreman as he thought it.

"She could have arthritis. It causes the- "

"Shhhh shh shhh." House said with a wave of his hand, "Arthritis wouldn't cause the seizure. Has nothing to do with it."

"I was going to say joint pain." Cameron said miffed.

"No need! She had a seizure. Who cares if her pinky is stiff." House said leaning back on two legs of his chair.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy fam-I-ly with a great big hug, and a kiss-" Ronald was practically yelling the song.

"KNOCK IT OFF MCDONALD. I SAID NO GAY BARNEY SONGS!" House bellowed toward the other room making his fellows jump.

Ronald jumped in the room. "I love Barney though!" He almost looked as if he was going to cry.

"Geez. Don't do that!" House said groaning. He got up from his chair and picked the boy up by his waist with one arm, holding him as if he was holding a sleeping bag. He turned him right side up and into the office chair. He knelt down and thought of anything to make the kid stop sniffling.

Headphones. He grabbed the headphones off his desk and fit the end into the speakers.

"Listen and watch…. Quietly." He ended with a whisper. He stood up to leave but was caught by the child's hand on his arm.

The kid whispered to him, "Hey."

"What?" He knelt down again.

"What's your name?" Ronald's head tilted to the side.

"Elvis." He stated without a moment's thought.

"Ohh. Cool." The kid smiled at that and grabbed the headphones and put them on.

--

"Alright. This is the hell I like to call Clinic Duty." House said grabbing the kids shoulder again.

"Hell?"

They entered the clinic and House pulled Ronald toward the first room available. He pulled the patient's folder from the door and entered the small room.

The patient looked suspicious at the sight of a kid in the room with a doctor but said nothing.

"Don't be alarmed, McDonald here is just my consultant."

The man stared at the timid kid who sat on the rolling stool with a red lollipop in hanging out of his mouth. The sight was just plain adorable. He was wearing scrubs. (Due to the wet clothes). The pants were rolled in a huge bulge at his ankles, the shirt hung down so low House had to tie it back with a rubber-band he'd conveniently found, a surgeon's mask was around his neck and a surgeon's hat was covering down to just above his eyes. (Also had to be tied back.)

"He isn't going to be treating me is he?" The man asked dumbly.

"Yes. He will be giving all of the medical advice here. He is ten times the doctor I'll ever be." House said his eyes widening dramatically.

The kid just stared, lollipop poking out his cheek.

The man shifted uncomfortably and looked at House with pitiful eyes.

"So, Doctor Ronald what BE the diagnosis?" House asked in a childish voice.

"Ummm… butter."

"That your final answer?"

"That is what makes him better."

"Ah. My colleague here believes that you're treatment is butter. What is your ailment kind sir?" House said in a British accent.

"My throat's been hurting for several days, and I've had a slight cough."

"Dr. Ronald?"

"What does your cough sound like Mr.?" He asked sucking in the saliva that gathered around his cherry sucker.

"Like a heave almost."

"My GOD! That is this close," House held his index finger and thumb barely and inch apart, "To being a heave. But only almost. What to do Dr?"

"GIVE HIM BUTTER!" he yelled smiling.

"Butter. The doctor says it. I repeat it. You take it." House smirked. And let the kid walk out of the room before he turned back. "Little Dayquil will clear that sinus problem RIGHT UP." He said in a game-show host like voice.

The man looked absolutely confused but nodded as the two 'doctors' left the room.

--

House opened the door to Cuddy's office letting Ronald walk in. "That was fun."

"Glad you thought so." House muttered looking around for Cuddy.

"She's not here."

"Gee, captain obvious, what gave you that idea?" House walked around Cuddy's desk, "She wouldn't leave the door unlocked unless it was something important." He said to himself.

"Maybe she had to pee." Ronald said jumping on the couch.

"Maybe she had a emergency meeting."

"OH oh! Maybe she went dancing."

"Or she went to the cafeteria for some food."

"Or she met a man and got married and had a bunch of kids." The kid said pulling at the shirt of the scrubs.

"Yes, in a couple of hours she left New Jersey and had an entire family. That's believable."

"You started the game. I was just playing."

"What's with you and games?"

"Dunno."

"Right."

House sat down at the desk chair and rolled up to the computer screen. He tapped the mouse so the screensaver left and a window came up. He clicked on it.

Victoria's Secret website popped up and House swallowed. The stirring below caught his attention and he realized he had had only three Vicoden that day. That went to the back of his mind as he focused on the hot pink lace teddy that was shown on the screen. He smirked and shifted a bit in his seat.

"What's wrong Elvis?" The kid asked looking over at House.

"Underwear." He murmured.

"Underwear? Like Spiderman!?"

"No, like…pink." His throat was dry.

"Pink? You wear PINK UNDERWEAR?! That's weird!" The kid giggled.

"Yeah." House agreed, not paying attention.

He felt like he was changing. He didn't get sweet around kids, he didn't get well…aroused…the way he was now about Cuddy. This kid was getting to him.

The door opened and the kid looked up slightly alarmed. House stared at the screen trying to picture Cuddy in the little red number that was below the pink teddy.

"Hi, Ronald." Cuddy said smiling.

"Hello." He muttered shyly. To tell the truth he was not familiar with all of the attention that had been given to him today.

"House." Cuddy said looking over at him on her computer her eyes narrowed, "What're you doing."

He finally looked up, realizing she was in the room. His face was straight, "Nothing."

"Why are at my computer?"

"Watching Barney."

"Interesting. Mind if I watch with you?"

He let out a pleased sigh, "That would be…" He sobered quickly, "Awful. I'm trying to learn." He pushed back the seat of his chair and…ahem…rearranged himself before standing up. His cane was placed in front of him as he stood still.

"Right. Well, is there any particular reason you guys are here?"

"He wanted to give you something."

The kid nodded.

"What?" Cuddy asked.

Ronald pulled something from behind his back and Cuddy's eyes widened.

"His name is Sammy."

"It's a spider."

"I put him in a jar so he couldn't get away. I even poked-ed holes in the top so he could breathe."

"Wow." Cuddy looked genuinely grateful. "That's very sweet of you Ronald." She knelt down in front of him and raked her fingers through his hair. He handed her the jar and she put it on her desk.

"You guys want come over for dinner tonight?" She asked after a moment.

"That's so sudden Dr. Cuddy. We hardly know you." House said in a southern drawl.

"I have some cartoons on DVD. My niece comes over every once in a while. I could cook up something and he could watch cartoons." Cuddy was serious. House's eyebrows rose a millimeter.

"Ah, but what would the adults do?" He asked, considering the situation.

She walked over to him slowly and leaned close to his ear, "Where you want to go with the kid. Give him up to adoption or keep him…"

House's eyes were closed, expecting something totally different to come out of her mouth. The opened abruptly at her sentence and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"I want to!" Ronald yelled from the couch. "Elvis? Please!"

Cuddy's rose an eyebrow and House glared, "Fine." His short reply was followed by, "Come on." To the

kid.

Cuddy stopped them quickly, "Around seven?"

"Yeah, sure." He mumbled.

He rose from the couch and Cuddy laughed out loud. "Um, House?"

"Yes?"

"What's with the scrubs?" She smiled.

House looked down at the kid staring at him.

"His dream is to be just like me."

"Ah." She laughed and the kid waved at her.

Ronald punched House in the side, "Say 'bye' Elvis!"

House turned and winced, "Bye." He muttered and the kid grabbed his hand. \

"See you tonight." Cuddy said after them.

TBC