The Eleventh Challenge
The entire team was woken up by Sora's yell of, "Ice cream Sunday!" turning to look at him, they saw that he was, in fact still asleep.
Xigbar sighed, "It's morning - we might as well stay up now."
"But I need my beauty sleep!" Kairi and Marluxia exclaimed at the same time.
"Hey!" they said together.
"Quit copying me!"
"You're copying me!"
"No, you're copying me!"
"No, you're copying me!!"
"No, you-"
"Shut up!" everyone yelled.
The noise woke Sora up, who launched forward and asked, "Who died?!"
"No one died, Sora." Kairi said, comforting the sleepy eyed boy. Sora's gaze landed on Zexion and his eyes brightened.
"Don't forget, Zexy! You promised to sing me the magical berry song!"
"What?" the stoic Nobody asked, pausing in his act of notching another day into a tree with Nancy the switchblade.
"Yeah, you know, the magical berry song!" Sora repeated.
"I promised no such thing." Zexion answered.
"B-but we're bestest friends!" Sora cried.
"What about us?!" Riku and Kairi asked. Deep inside, their poor hearts were breaking.
"But I'm the one you're destined to marry and have children with! Children who will take over as the new Keyblade Masters for us like in all those other fan fictions!"
"Wha?" Sora asked, a painfully innocent expression on his face.
"Why do you deny my love?!" Kairi cried shaking Sora back and forth.
"What in the world has gotten into you?" Riku shouted, pulling Sora away from her.
"Oh, I see how it is! You want him all to yourself so you can eat your little goldfish crackers together!" Kairi screeched.
"Wha?" It was Riku's turn to look bewildered.
"Calm down, Kairi." Axel said trying to pacify the girl.
"Oh, so the truth comes out!" Kairi said. "You want Sora AND Riku for yourself!"
Riku passed the staff of bewilderment on to Axel.
"Huh?"
"It's a conspiracy I tell you!" Kairi screamed.
"Hey…look up there!" Demyx said, pointing in the sky.
There were two airplanes spelling out ' report for your next challenge' with white smoke.
"That's a cool way to get us to go to the challenge." Cloud admitted.
Team Destiny's Ninjas gathered at the arena ready to take on whatever challenge they would be presented with.
Ansem drove up in a shiny mustang, "Everyone, I have an announcement to make."
"You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?" Demyx asked.
"No, my cousin's father's girlfriend's mother's second cousin twice removed nieces brother's roommate has had a baby and they want me to be there on this auspicious occasion. So, the challenge will be conducted by my assistant, Imogene."
The girl with long black hair and pink highlights got out of the passenger's side of the car. Everyone stared at her choice of costume--a realistic looking astronaut's suit.
"Hi guys! How's it going?" she said cheerfully.
Ansem turned to her, "Remember, call me if you have any trouble."
"Will do." she replied. Ansem nodded and got into the car, driving away at ridiculously fast speeds. Imogene turned to the group and grinned evilly. "Now you're all mine." she laughed maniacally.
"I fear for my safety…" Kairi said, warily eyeing the girl.
"Oh, don't be silly, you'll be perfectly fine with me." the teen said, patting the red head on the back with some rather loud thumps. "Well, almost perfectly fine…" she trailed off, as her face had a far away expression on it.
"What is our challenge?" Cloud asked, shading his eyes from the glare of the space helmet.
"Hehe, I'm glad you asked. It will be one of the most physically and mentally demanding challenges you've had to do so far…involving eggs!"
Sora gave an involuntary gasp. "I hate eggs!" he shuddered.
"I am calling this challenge Eggs on a Plane, because it sounds like Snakes on a Plane, which was the challenge I originally wanted to do, but the producers wouldn't get me fifty tons of venomous snakes OR an airliner, so I had to go with plan B which involves only eggs and spoons." Imogene said this all in one breath.
Demyx gave an involuntary gasp. "I hate spoons!" he shuddered.
"You will each have a spoon put in your mouth and then balance an egg on said spoon. Whoever keeps it balanced the longest wins the challenge and immunity." Imogene grinned.
She suddenly pulled ten spoons out of her pocket and threw them to each of the contestants. Amazingly, all of them caught them in their mouth (with the exception of Vexen, who got hit in the eye and screamed in pain).
"Now, all of you get to your positions and get ready to receive the eggs." the girl said over the sounds of Vexen screaming, "My eye! My eye!"
"Get in line or you won't get your egg!" she shouted impatiently to the scientist. The man sent her a withering glare (which was slightly not withering because of the pink swollen eye) and got in his position as well.
The girl was practically bubbling with joy. "Oh, I can't wait!" she squealed excitedly.
"How can you not be dying in that suit?" Marluxia asked the girl.
"Because I eat a lot of soy beans." Imogene answered, pulling a basket of eggs out of her pocket. "Now hold still and wait for me to put the eggs on your spoons." she commanded.
Walking up to Sora, she giggled, "Silly, you're supposed to use the other end of the spoon."
"Oh." he muttered turning as red as a stop sign that is red. He turned the spoon around and Imogene placed the egg on it.
Next was Riku. She was about to put an egg on his spoon when she stopped and cocked her head. "What was that Alberta? Oh, okay."
"What the crud was that about?" Riku asked.
"Alberta says she doesn't want to be your egg because you're full of too much teen angst."
"I an not angsty!" Riku protested wiping tears out of his eyes as he accepted his new egg.
The rest of the eggs were handed out without much incident. "Now, let the challenge begin!" Imogene shouted out.
The group was focused intensely on keeping perfectly still. They were so focused, that they didn't notice the dangerous glint in Imogene's eyes. She snuck around to the back of the group and clicked a button on her suit's arm. Suddenly, a loud boom issued from the island's sound system.
"Aaaah!" Kairi screamed, dropping her egg.
"Looks like the first fly has dropped." Imogene said smugly.
"That wasn't fair! I demand a redo!" Kairi yelled.
"Too bad. Did I forget to mention the fine print? I get to do whatever I want to make you guys loose your concentration." Imogene said happily.
"Effing bi-" Kairi began under her breath, but stopped when Imogene pulled a gun out of her pocket and shot the girl three times in the leg. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My leg!" she screamed, falling over in agony.
"-Iri!" Sora and Riku cried in muffled voices as they tried to keep their hold on the spoons.
Imogene giggled in a high girly voice and returned the pistol to her pocket. She grabbed a nearby radio and spoke into it. "We're gonna need the paramedics here. One of the contestants has been shot by an insane polar bear."
Within minutes, a helicopter arrived and landed on a nearby landing pad. A group of clowns came out carrying a stretcher.
"AAAAHHH! Clowns!" Sora screamed, dropping his egg and running into the forest.
"-ora!" Riku cried as his friend ran away.
"Oh, it's too bad your friend has an aversion to clowns. I've made all of the paramedics dress like clowns so that when you get injured, they will make you laugh." Imogene said cheerfully.
The clowns carried Kairi to the helicopter and flew off in some random direction.
"Now what else can I do to you guys?" the substitute host wondered to herself. The group felt a shiver go down their spines. "Oh!" she exclaimed, running to a shed. They heard her rummaging around in it, and a few minutes later, she emerged carrying a cage. "Guys, I want you to meet my friend, Roxanne."
The girl opened the cage and let out a little white poodle. It barred its teeth viciously, saliva dripping from its mouth onto the sand. It let out a feral growl and charged the group. Demyx made a squeal and took off running in the opposite direction. Roxanne howled and took off after him.
"I don't know why people are afraid of my little Roxie…she's such a sweet doggie." Imogene questioned, stroking her chin. "Oh well, I still have to deal with you guys." she said, pulling a pair of scissors out of her pocket. "I wonder what I could do with these?" she said with a frown.
Imogene approached the nervous contestants and opened the scissors, preparing to cut something. "How about…your hair?!" she exclaimed, lunging toward Marluxia.
The man screamed bloody murder and clutched his hair fearfully.
"Oh my, you seem to have dropped your egg." the girl said without pity. The man kicked the sand in frustration and went to sit down on the sidelines.
The next thing to come out of her pocket of doom was a marker. She grinned and walked up to Cloud. Uncapping the marker, she began scribbling on the man, who was determinedly not moving.
"There, all done!" she said, standing back and admiring her handiwork. Axel looked at the man's face in curiosity and burst out laughing.
A second later, he was cursing in Swahili because he had dropped his egg. Cloud was now irritated and went up to Imogene and stared at his reflection in her helmet. His face read, 'I is a pimp'. The blonde man growled and pounded his fists together. Suddenly, he emitted a golden light and his hair became even spikier than usual. Now it had red and black streaks in it. He dropped his spoon and shouted, "It's time to duel!" He pulled a pack of playing cards out of his pocket and drew one. "I summon-" he was cut off as Bigfoot charged out of the trees and tackled the man. They fought furiously over a can of Coke Cola before Cloud jumped on the creature's back and it ran off into the forest.
"Who knew Bigfoot actually existed?" Imogene said in mild surprise. Then a light bulb popped up over her head.
She approached the remaining four contestants, wriggling her fingers. They all backed away, apprehensively. "Oh, don't be silly guys, this won't hurt." she reassured them. However, it wasn't very reassuring with her sinister expression.
Imogene went to Riku first and began to furiously tickle him.
"Aaaaaaahahahahahaha!" he cried, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. The teen dropped to the ground and began rolling around in laughter.
"Well that was fairly successful." the girl said looking at his splattered egg. "Let's try it again." she exclaimed cheerily approaching Zexion.
The man saw Imogene approaching and immediately dropped his egg then walked over to the sidelines to sit with Marluxia and the still laughing Riku.
"Hmm…could it be that the great Zexion is ticklish?" Imogene pondered to her little undead monkey. The monkey squeaked and jumped up and down. "I will just have to test this theory…" she murmured. She approached an alarmed looking Zexion.
"I quit the challenge, so you don't have to do anything to me." he said on octave higher than normal.
Imogene chuckled and made a dive for the stoic Nobody. "Tickle attack!"
Zexion laughed wildly and attempted to bat the girl away. "S-stop!" he cried as Marluxia and Riku stared. Vexen almost let his mouth drop open, but at the last second, remembered that he was in a competition and that his mommy would kill him if he lost. Xigbar, however, wasn't so lucky and his egg fell to the ground as his mouth dropped open in shock.
Finally pulling away from Zexion, Imogene smirked and walked back to Vexen and Xemnas who were the only two left. The blue/violet/silver haired man sat up, gasping for air and glared at the other two loosers as if it was their fault that one of his weakness had been revealed.
Imogene looked at the two eggs and began singing, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again!"
Vexen's egg squealed and jumped off of his spoon. Vexen stared at it in shock.
"Yay! I'm the winner!" Xemnas squealed happily throwing his egg into the air.
"Yep, it looks like-" Imogene stopped talking and listened intently. The rest of the group strained their ears and heard the distant sounds of barking.
From the opposite side of the beach, Demyx appeared, with Roxanne still hot on his tail. Amazingly, the Melodious Nocturne still had his egg nestled on his spoon. The group gaped at the sight. Demyx had almost made it to Imogene when he tripped and his egg went flying straight into Xemnas's face, spattering its eggy nastiness everywhere.
Imogene burst out laughing. "Hahahah! You've got egg on your face!" she exclaimed pointing at the furious Xemnas.
Roxanne had caught up to Demyx and was viciously biting his shoe. The Nobody cried and tried to kick her away.
Imogene bent down and picked up the dog, who immediately became sweet and docile in her arms.
"In conclusion, Demyx wins this challenge and the immunity idol!" she declared.
"I won?" the man asked dazedly. He got to his feet and Imogene put the bottle cap necklace around his neck. "This is so radical..." he murmured.
-At Council Fire-
Ansem had returned and was talking about the new born baby girl. "I tried to get them to name her Destiny, but they didn't seem to like that idea." he said regretfully. "Anyway, I hear Imogene was a huge success today--maybe I should get her to baby-sit you guys more often." he offered.
Sora, who had been found hiding at the top of a tall tree, whimpered, "No. No more clowns…"
Kairi, who had been returned with her leg in a cast and her mouth taped shut (she had been spouting some craziness about how Imogene had really been the one who shot her) shook her head violently and waved her fist threateningly.
Even now, Marluxia was clutching at his hair frightfully. Zexion was still silently steaming. Riku was ripping a leaf together, pretending it was Imogene's face. Xemnas was brooding.
Cloud had wandered out of the jungle minutes after the challenge ended with 'I is a pimp' still scrawled on his face (in permanent marker) and covered in bloody gashes. He glared at the host.
Yet somehow, Ansem seemed to miss all of these signs. He continued, "Let the voting begin!" A few minutes later, all the votes had been handed in and Ansem read out the conclusion. "It looks like the final score is: Vexen--2, Axel--2, Xemnas--5. Xemnas, time for you to walk the plank."
Xemnas growled, then shouted out, "Kingdom Hearts will be mine! Darkness will prevail! And I will get my revenge!"
"Yeah, enough with the dramatic speech, just fall already." Ansem said in a bored tone. The host clicked his fingers and the leader of Organization 13 fell into the trap door. "Now who wants churros?!" he asked excitedly, pulling a basket of the sugary goodness out from behind his back. And they threw a super par-tay that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.
I can't believe I did that to Zexion... Sorry o' great king of emo...
Review please!!!