Tsviet!fic? In the middle of finals week? It's more likely than you think.
Dedicated to my usual friends, along with Kat, who's suffering from hay fever. I'm thinking this would cheer her up.
Sable Love Incorporated
Weiss had always hated Nero's ringtones with a burning passion. It wasn't that the ringtones themselves were particularly obnoxious. They were tame in comparison to some of the things that Yuffie Kisaragi had programmed on her phone (which Weiss only heard in the middle of exams). It was just that the ringtones themselves would frequently wake him up if Nero left his phone in Weiss' room. The ringtones already had a negative shade over them, but then they started to harass his dear, little brother.
"Hello? … Bring my what? … No. Good bye."
"Again?"
Nero nodded, pocketing his phone. They had gone to get breakfast early in the morning, several days after the incident with Hojo. Unfortunately, any peace that Nero might have derived from Weiss' company had been immediately ruined by no less than six phone calls, all soliciting him for sex. "That was the third one today. That woman told me to bring my whip and 'game-face.' What does that even mean?"
"You own a whip?"
"No."
The grin on Weiss' face gave way to a thoughtful expression. "Where are they getting your number?"
Nero shrugged then grabbed the ringing phone in his pocket. "Hello? … What?" Weiss turned an amused eye to his brother. He had never seen Nero turn that particular shade of red. "Listen to me, where did you get this number?" As Nero dealt with the person on the phone, Weiss idly looked at the fliers on the walls. Volleyball game, laser tag, club meeting, Nero's body, fundraiser…
Weiss reached over and ripped the paper with his little brother's posing body off the wall and scanned it quickly.
"Looking for a Hot Date Tonight?
I'll whip and be whipped, all for you.
Dial 555-3291, Rates Negotiable
For Your Sexy, Sable Lover."
A rather lewd and clearly Photoshopped picture of Nero accompanied this tagline that Weiss didn't want to think about too hard. As Nero continued yelling with the person on the phone, Weiss reached over and tapped Nero. When he saw the flier, his jaw dropped and he closed his phone.
"Wh-What is this?"
"You… Sort of." Weiss turned the flier back to himself and examined it closely. "That's not your body, I know that, but that's your face." He squinted at the picture. "Is that a gimp mask in your hand?"
"A what?"
"It's a type of mask. You use it to… Never mind. How did this happen?"
Nero seemed to be gritting his teeth. "I can hazard a guess. Look at the flyer. It's been approved by campus life."
"What?… But the Dean-"
"-Would never agree to something this…"
"Base. So it would have to be someone who works under the Dean. Potentially connected to the last victim."
"Someone connected to Genesis who works for the Dean." Nero took out his cell phone, ignored the incoming call, and dialed a number. Weiss crumpled the flier and tossed it in the trash. "Argent, this is Nero. … No, of course I'm not. We're actually trying to figure that out as well. Can you just confirm whether or not Rosso works in the Student Activities office? … She does? Thank you."
"So it's our turn again?"
"Yes. Only this time I'm at a loss for what to do, exactly."
Nero's phone went off again and Nero looked like he wanted to run up to the fifth floor of the academic buildings and hurl it onto the pavement. Weiss plucked the phone from his brother's hand. "It's Shelke, actually." Nero buried his head in his hands. Weiss responded the only way he knew how: flippancy and sarcasm. "Hello, Sable Love Incorporated, how can I help you?"
"I'd like to place an order." Shelke didn't sound amused in any way. That didn't stop Weiss from carrying on as if she had been.
"Yes, ma'am. Would you like that mild, hot, or mucho caliente?" Nero went from contemplating the distance between the top step and the floor, to staring at Weiss in abject horror.
"Mild as always, with a side of Miss Masterton's laptop."
"Can do, though I might have to pull a few strings for that side order. In the mean time, have a chat with our CEO."
"I'd appreciate it."