A.N. - Okay, it was waaaaaaaay overdue and I apologize. PLEASE don't hurt me. I've been busy but I've also been trying to correct errors in my story and have started with the Prologue and moving forward. I haven't posted the corrected versions yet because I really haven't had time, but I want to reassure everyone though that I am not giving up on my story. That is just not my way. If I was discontinuing or abandoning it I would inform everyone.

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Chapter 17

Dudley left the hospital wing confused, not knowing exactly what to feel. He had been frightened like the rest when he'd seen Cassian falling toward the ground and certain death. He had been scared his friend was dead. He followed the headmaster and watched as he and Madam Pomfrey removed the Slytherin's quidditch attire. They had also removed Cassian's wand holster, which was the cause of Dudley's emotional turmoil.

All weekend Dudley had wondered whether or not to ask his friend directly and how to go about it. He was later told by Neville that Madam Pomfrey was giving Cassian sleeping potions. Neville had also been informed by Draco that Professor Snape was ensuring that his student spent most of his time sleeping. So, Dudley would have to wait. Meanwhile, his friends and housemates could tell something was bothering him. He just smiled and told them he was fine and that he just had to think about a few things, that was all.

He was looking forward to Monday, glad when it came because it meant classes. He might be able to talk with Cassian in History of Magic. All period he nervously waited, but Cassian didn't show up. Neither did he appear for Charms, and caused Dudley to worry. He breathed a bit easier when he saw his friend at the Slytherin table during lunch. At least Cassian appeared in better health. No doubt it was due to whatever potions Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape subjected him too. Except now Dudley had to either wait until tomorrow or catch Cassian in the library later. The Slytherins and Gryffindors had the afternoon off while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had Potions.

Going to Potions, he wondered if the direct approach would be the best. Or maybe he could gradually bring the conversation around to it. Taking a seat beside Hermione he smiled at her. He was sure if it wasn't for her he would have failed Potions. He just did not see how anyone could like it and disliked handling the more gross ingredients. A case in point would be today's crocodile heart. He made a face as he carefully cut the root from the snakes beard and plucked the catmint leaves.

Hermione didn't seem to mind that he usually left her to cut, dice, or add the slimier and nastier ingredients. Actually, she found it rather amusing. After class, Dudley still looking a bit green stated, "I don't think I'll ever like Potions."

"You don't have to like it, just be proficient," Hermione replied trying to be comforting.

Dudley made a face. "Whatever for?"

"Well, most jobs require knowledge in Potions, don't they? How else will you get a good job when we leave Hogwarts?"

Dudley stared at her. "You're already thinking that far ahead?"

"Of course. That's what our new classes are for. Aren't you thinking about what you'll do once we graduate?"

"Not really. To tell you the truth, I don't know what I want to do."

"Oh. It's just that we both already had thought about what college we would go to and what we would major in before we got our Hogwarts letters that I thought...Well, at least you still have time to think about it."

Dudley didn't reply. How could he? As she had stated, when they were in grade school they had both told the other what they had planned for their futures. Hermione had either wanted to be dentist like her folks or to work in the museum as a curator. Dudley had thought after attending college he would either be a lawyer or a doctor. Of course that was before he realized he was squeamish when it came to blood and such. He figured that if he was a lawyer or doctor he'd make enough money to take care of his mother.

But then Professor Dumbledore showed up explaining about Dudley being a wizard. He had accepted and even convinced his mother that he should come to Hogwarts to learn to control his magic. Yet some part of him had always thought that he would be returning to his life pre-Hogwarts. Not once had he thought about a job in the wizarding world.

Hermione had meant well, but she had just given him even more to be confused and nervous about. He knew that hadn't been her intention, but all the same, Dudley was rather peeved. It wasn't like he didn't have enough to deal with. And now something he figured he wouldn't have to think about for at least four more years was brought to his immediate attention. Sighing, Dudley did what he'd done since he'd been a child, he pushed it all away, refusing to think about it. He'd deal with it when he had to and not before then. It was a coping mechanism for him and served him well most of the time.

Dudley found Cassian in the library poring over a book intently. Swallowing, Dudley smiled as he went up to the table and sat across from the Slytherin. "Missed you in class earlier."

Cassian nodded not looking up as he jotted down some notes. "Its that meddling woman's fault. She drugged me all weekend. She tried to keep me there all day today as well."

"Since you were at lunch I presume you used your Slytherin cunning to get away?"

Cassian looked up, mouth twitching, amusement clear in his eyes. "Something like that."

Dudley shook his head with a slight smile. Nervously, not knowing what to say, he fidgeted under the other boy's stare. Tilting his head, eyes narrowing and losing the earlier amusement, Cassian asked, "So, what do you want to know?"

Dudley's head snapped up, eyes staring into hard unforgiving eyes that had anger burning beneath. How did he know? What Dudley got out was a choked, "Huh?"

The Slytherin's demeanor became cold. There was a bit of anger in the frosty voice. "Obviously you want to ask me something but don't know how to ask. The only thing I can come up with is that it has to do with the dementors. Am I correct? You want to know what I see when a dementor gets too close to me?"

Dudley's eyes went wide as he shook his head. "No. Why would I-"

The other boy's eyes pierced him, looking as if trying to see if Dudley was lying. Cassian relaxed, his gaze became confused, but there was still an edge to his voice. "But you do want to ask me something?"

Dudley nodded.

Closing the book and setting it aside, Cassian crossed his arms over his chest. Face expressionless, he nodded giving his consent, stating, "Go on."

"Well..." Dudley frowned as he shifted. "Just out of curiosity, your wand holster."

Cassian raised a brow. "What of it?"

"Did you...Did it come like that? With that design on it?"

The other boy blinked once, twice. Clearly this was not what he had expected or assumed Dudley would ask at all.

"Design?" Cassian's voice was puzzled. Pulling up the sleeve of his robe and shirt to bare his left arm, Cassian looked at the holster. Standing out on the black leather of the holster, was the vertical strip of light brown leather with blue and white beads sewn onto it. It was a white feather with a blue background. "You mean this?"

Dudley's mouth had gone dry as he nodded.

"I put it on there with a sticking charm. Why?"

Dudley felt numb. His voice came out croaky. "And where did you get it?"

Cassian pulled his sleeves back down to cover the holster, arms once again crossed as the eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Just answer the question!" Cassian stared at him in surprise. Dudley's voice was still insistent and emotional, but came out more like a plea. "Please. I have to know."

Cassian looked like he wasn't going to answer before he looked away, startled, then inquisitive. "All right. I've had it as long as I can remember. When my wrist got too big, I put it on the holster. I've answered your question, now answer mine."

Dudley's eyes went huge and he felt himself coming close to hyperventilating. Taking several deep breaths, he calmed and stared at his friend, eyes searching. The Slytherin was frowning at him, gaze concerned and curious.

"I never told anyone. Not even Hermione," Dudley finally said. "When I was little, I had a best friend. He was also my cousin and lived with my family. His parents died in a car crash, or rather that's what my cousin and I were led to believe. I have since learned that that is far from the truth. Anyway, my parents never really gave him gifts or anything. I remember I wanted to give him a present. I begged my mother since she seemed to like him better than my father, until she gave in. She helped me make two bracelets. One was a cat's eye."

Dudley pulled out a leather strip with small black and yellow-green beads. Softly he said, "It's my good luck charm." Looking from the bracelet to Cassian's eyes he continued. "I thought my cousin's eyes were like those of a cat. He kept my secret from my mother. That I could use magic. We found out when I was around five or six, I think. I floated, like a feather. So, I made one like a feather which I gave to him. It was our secret."

Cassian wasn't looking at him, but to his left, a puzzled concerned look on his face.

"That day, our family went out and our car was hit by another car that ignored the red light. Cars had no time to stop and soon it was a six car pile up. They say father didn't suffer, but they're wrong. He was alive when my mother and I were pulled from the wreckage. For seven years I thought my cousin had died in the crash too."
Cassian's face had drained of color, eyes taking on a feverish glow. He shook his head. "Shut up! You're wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong!"

His outburst had everyone in the library staring at them and Madam Pince glaring at them. Cassian stood and Dudley did as well reaching out. "Cassian-"

Cassian ripped his arm from the Hufflepuff's grasp. "Don't! Just – don't."

Cassian quickly left Dudley standing alone in the library. Guiltily, Dudley wondered if there was a way he could have done that better.

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Cassian quickly made his way to a classroom Myrtle had shown him last year after his sanctuary had been found out. The classroom Myrtle showed him hadn't been used in years and no one came up there. Not to repeat the mistake of last year, Cassian had warded it as best as he could. Before grabbing the door handle and yanking it open, he snapped, "Lillium."

Entering the room he went straight for the corner where he had his cauldrons set up. He stopped in front of one that had taken him quite awhile to get right. It would be finished soon and he'd be able to take it. From what he read, if he had gotten the potion correct, it would allow him to recall his earlier memories.

The potion would let him sort out the disarray in his head. It would let him know if what Dudley had said was the truth. Cassian wanted proof. It didn't matter that he recalled the image of a younger Dudley in a car.

Glancing at Harry he saw he was still very pale and shaken. Harry was the one who believed the Hufflepuff completely. He'd said that explained how Dudley seemed so familiar. Turning away from Harry, Cassian added the Ethrina bark to one of the other potions he was brewing. He checked on his potions, adding ingredients or stirring where needed. Seeing all was satisfactory he decided to catch up on the class work he'd missed as well as add notations to his Potions Journal.

Standing stock still he felt horror grip him. He'd left his bag and books in the library. He'd been in such a hurry to get away from Dudley and the confusing images in his head, he'd forgotten his bag. Anxiety built as he made a mad dash for the library. For both his and Dudley's sake he hoped the Hufflepuff hadn't decided to be nosy.

Harry tried to reassure him that it should be okay since Cassian had charmed most of the pages of the journal that mustn't be seen by anyone, to resemble his Ancient Runes notes. It didn't reassure Cassian at all. He stopped briefly outside the library to catch his breath then walked calmly inside. His eyes darted around searching for either the Hufflepuff or his bag.

Cassian left the library empty handed and even more worked up after searching the library to the annoyance of Madam Pince. Students quickly got out of his way as he headed to the Great Hall and dinner. Scanning the Hufflepuff table he felt his irritation raise a notch. Dudley wasn't with his housemates. Cassian hadn't passed him on the way to the Great Hall, so where was he!

As Cassian was going to turn and head for the dungeons on the off chance Dudley had gone that way to return his bag, Harry spoke up. "Cass, if you're not at dinner and don't eat-"

Scowling, Cassian recalled Professor Snape had let him have it in the hospital wing during the grief time Madam Pomfrey allowed him to remain conscious. For a brief minute he wondered if disobeying his professor's and Madam Pomfrey's threats would be worth it. Eyeing said persons at the Head Table, Cassian sighed and went to the Slytherin table and sat down.

Viciously he skewered his chicken and tore it to bits on his plate. He made a mess of dinner on his plate and kept looking to the Hufflepuff table. Just as he was about to get up and go see if Dudley actually was waiting for him near the dungeons, Draco leaned over to whisper, "Uncle Severus is watching you."

Glancing up at the Head Table again, Cassian saw that his professor was indeed watching him. Cassian knew what the look the man directed at him meant. Glaring t the mess on his plate, Cassian resolutely ate it. Once his plate was semi-clean he took one last look at the Hufflepuff table. Seeing Dudley was there, stood and walked over.

The Hufflepuffs all got quiet and Dudley looked up and over his shoulder. He tried to stand quickly and ended up catching his knee on the bench and falling. "Owwwww."

Cassian didn't help him up or ask if he was okay. Instead he demanded, "What'd you do with my bag?"

"Huh?"

"My bag. I left it in the library. You didn't pick it up?"

Dudley shook his head looking confused. "No. After you left, so did I."

Cassian clenched his hands as he felt the anger and violence building. It must have showed because the Hufflepuffs looked as if they were wondering if they would have to intervene. As it was a teacher was already heading their way. Turning away, Cassian walked away, trying to contain his emotions. Who else could have taken his bag? Maybe he should have asked Madam Pince if anyone turned in his bag.

Going outside he ran down the steps and ran past the green houses and continued to run until he was near the Forbidden Forest and out of breath. He screamed and began to swear. Why was this happening? How could he have been so out of it not to grab his bag? "Stupid stupid stupid!"

He glared up at the sky thinking. How was he to explain if someone realized his journal was charmed? And if anyone read the letter that his mother wrote to him...It would be really bad. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he decided to head back to the castle.

"Cass." The tone of Harry's voice and the fact that the other was clutching his arm and pointing made Cassian's head whip up and towards where Harry was pointing.

There by the only tree on the grounds was a black dog, bigger than average. The dog was going walking into the tree? Cassian watched as the dog disappeared into the tree. When the dog was gone, he ran towards tree and was startled when a cat, Hermione's cat to be exact, nothing else could be that ugly, ran back towards the castle.

"Watch out, Cassian!"

Cassian jumped back as one of the tree's branches whipped out to strike him. He let out a painful grunt as the branch lashed his chest and sent him flying backwards to land hard on his backside. He groaned in pain as he first sat up then stood, rubbing his chest where he'd been struck. "That's gonna leave a bruise."

Still, Cassian was wondering why that dog hadn't attacked Hermione's mongrel of a cat and how the dog even got onto the grounds in the first place. Maybe Hagrid got a new pet and it got loose. That was probably the most likely scenario. He'd have to ask Hagrid about it next time he saw the man.

Going back to the castle, he went to the library ans spoke with Madam Pince. The Librarian told him that no one had turned in a bag nor did she pick one up. "If you children are foolish enough to leave your bag, why should I have to pick up after you?"

Breathing deeply to keep calm and mainly because Harry was tugging at his arm telling him they really didn't need to explain to Dumbledore why the librarian had become a ghost, he left. He slowly went to the trophy room and stared at the awards. He scowled as he looked from name to name. Harry sighed and seeing Filch's cat in the doorway, hissed, "Mrs. Norris!"

"Time to play." Cassian grinned. He led the cat on a chase though the castle, laughing when the cat lost him before finding him again. Mrs. Norris halted when Cassian reached the dungeons. Somehow even the cat seemed to realize that the dungeons was outside of it's territory.

As soon as Cassian entered the Slytherin Common Room, his cat bolted across the floor to wind around his legs. Picking the cat up, he sat down on the couch and absently petted the feline. Shutting his eyes and resting his head against the back of the couch, Cassian mentally called up the scene from the library earlier. Dudley was across from him, a cluster of Gryffindors a few tables away, and a scattering of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaws at all the nearby tables. There had also been a Slytherin with Madam Pince as she re-shelved some books near the history section.

Straining his memory he tried to recall the Slytherin's face. He was sure it was a boy, maybe his year or one above. Had the other boy turned his head at all? He kept replaying the memory over and over to no avail. Sighing, he asked, 'Harry?'

"Hmm?" Harry chuckled as the cat made a lazy swipe at him because he was holding it's tail in a loose hold.

'Do you remember if you saw who was talking with Madam Pince?'

Harry thought hard then his eyes widened. Noticing, Cassian demanded, "Who?"

Opening his mouth to answer, he was interrupted by a rather annoyed one answering, "Who else?"

Draco flopped onto the chair opposite Cassian, looking at him intently. "You're a bit pale."

"Where's my bag?"

Draco frowned. "In our room. Why-" Draco didn't get to finish. Cassian was up and moving. The cat hissed at Cassian for dislodging him abruptly from his lap. Draco followed his cousin with a confused look. He watched as Cassian dumped the bag upside down on his bed and searched through the contents. His hands clenched and he spun to face Draco, eyes hard.

"Where are they?"

"Where's what?"

Cassian advanced and Draco found himself backing up until he was flat against the wall. Those gold eyes continued to pin him in their angry gaze. Voice dangerously soft, he reiterated, "Where. Are. They. Draco?"

Swallowing, Draco honestly replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Where did you get my bag?"

"I didn't. It was on your bed when we all came back from dinner."

Cassian's face was not at all friendly and the blond felt the tiniest twinge of fear. He felt his body tremble when Cassian swept past him and out of the room. Draco exhaled in relief and nearly slumped to the floor. When he was more composed, he frowned and went to make sure Cassian was no longer in the Slytherin Dormitories. Going over to Cassian's bed he tried to figure out what was missing. There was quills, inks, that Muggle drawing equipment. There was also their school books.

"What's missing?" Draco mused. What could his cousin be missing that he would get so upset over? Before, when they were younger, Cassian never cared if his things were taken from him or ruined. It used to irritate and infuriate Draco that his cousin wouldn't even react. He could take Cassian's most favored toy, break it so badly that it was ruined, and Cassian would just shrug it off uncaringly.

Obviously that had changed, unless... Draco's eyes narrowed. He was sure that before his cousin rushed to the room there was a hint of apprehension in his eyes. So, whatever his cousin was missing wasn't something that he treasured. It was more like whatever it was, he feared others finding it.

"What are you hiding, cousin?"

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Draco noted that Cassian was being very quiet, even for him. Interestingly enough, Cassian kept eyeing the Fourth Year Slytherins with narrowed eyes as well as Theo. He also didn't hang around with his study group. When Neville asked if Cassian would be there that weekend, Draco frowned and listened in when the answer was a curt, "No."

At the Gryffindor's hurt and surprised look, Cassian elaborated enough to say, "I have something to see to this weekend."

During lunch, Cassian snarfed his lunch then disappeared until it was time for DADA. Even then, he got there a few minutes before he'd be marked as late. It had been weird for Draco to actually be observing his cousin this closely especially during class, but since he was, he noticed Cassian was eyeing their Professor with narrowed eyes and cold expression.

The lesson was about hinkypunks, but Cassian wasn't paying any attention. He wondered if anyone else had done the werewolf essay besides himself and the Ravenclaws in the class. He wondered of those that had done the assignment realized that their professor was a werewolf. He was sure that Hermione knew as well as Terry, Daphne, Theo, and a few others judging from their looks. The ones completely oblivious was the Gryffindors.

Cassian sighed impatiently wanting it to be the weekend already so he could check his potions. He was also surprised that no one had approached him about his missing volumes, but knew he shouldn't seeing as how the person who stole them was a Slytherin. They wouldn't approach him until it was advantageous to them.

He was up and out of his seat as soon as class was over but frowned when Professor Lupin asked him to stay behind.

"I'll be late for Ancient Runes, Professor."

"I'll write you a note. I'm sure Professor Babbling will understand. I just want a word."

Cassian felt like telling the man he'd had seven from him. Reining in his impatience, Cassian wondered what the man wanted. It looked like the professor wasn't sure where to start either.

"I heard about the match," he finally said. "Sorry about Draco's broomstick. I'm sure he was upset."

Cassian shrugged. "He got over it as soon as he wheedled a promise from Uncle Lucius to buy him a new one, preferably a Firebolt. Not that he'll likely get it."

Lupin sighed and told Cassian the history of the Whomping Willow. Absently Cassian rubbed his chest that was bruised from the tree. Harry muttered, "Appropriate name, isn't it?"

"If you heard about the match then you know about the dementors."

Lupin nodded. "I've never seen the headmaster so...angry. I suppose they were the reason you fell?"

Cassian nodded looking away his fist curling slightly. He'd done some researching on the creatures, to know why he was so affected more than the other students. From what he read, he understood why. It had nothing to do with weakness, but of the severity of the negative things in your life and how numerous they were.

Misreading the look on his face, the Professor sought to reassure his student. "Don't think you're weak because they affect you more. You have more horrors in your past than your classmates." He also went on to tell him of the dementor's nature.

At that Cassian snorted and began to laugh without humor causing a shiver to run through the werewolf. Turning dead looking eyes as his professor, voice soft, he asked, "What if you don't have a soul to take?"

"What?" Surely, surely the boy didn't believe-

"How do you know if I have a soul to suck out?" It was said bitterly. Cold narrowed golden eyes glared at him. Cassian snapped, "What do you know? How would you know if I have more horrors then my classmates? You know nothing about me! Of what I've done!"

Lupin went to reach out but Cassian violently shrugged away from him. Still glaring, the boy demanded, "Do you know what I hear and see whenever those things get near me? Do you?"

"I can only imagine," was all the man got out hoarsly.

"You can imagine?" Cassian snarled bitterly, angrily. He laughed again and Lupin really wished he would stop. The laughter turned to crying and sobbing. Cassian pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes trying to stop the flow of tears. He was only vaguely aware of the professor wrapping his arms around him in a hug trying to sooth him. Angrily he shoved the man away from him. "It's your fault! You're to blame for this! If it weren't for you-aaargh!"

Lupin's eyes widened, as Cassian fled the room. The man stared at the space the boy had been. Did Cassian truly know? Or was he blaming him for something else? If Cassian knew the truth, then he would be able to speak freely with the boy.

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"Cass, I thought we agreed to wait until the weekend? It's only another day."

"No. We take the potion now! It's ready. I'm tired of this. This will give us our answers."

"But..." Harry sighed. There was no used talking when Cassian had obviously already made up his mind. He watched as Cassian carefully measured and monitored the potion. According to what they'd read, the potion would put them into a coma/sleep like state as the consciousness was allowed to view the stored memories. How long the induced sleep like state lasted varied but usually took no longer than a day at most. That was why they chose the weekend. No one would likely miss them since they had no classes.

Harry still thought this was a bad idea. If anything went wrong, no one would be able to find Cassian in time to help. No one knew what they were planning or where they were. He watched with trepidation as Cassian looked at him with just as much nervousness. "Cheers," Cassian mocked as he raised the glass of potion in salute to Harry. Taking a calming breath, Cassian downed the contents.

"Cassian!" Harry rushed and cushioned the now unconscious teen. The potion acted a lot quicker than they had thought it would. He stared with worry down at Cassian. His eyes were moving under his eyelids. Blinking his own eyes, Harry frowned. He felt awfully tired. He felt himself succumbing to the effects even as he tried to get up. With a last panicked thought he tried to call out to the phoenix, but he couldn't get his mouth to work before he fell into unconsciousness as well.

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Poll Results

Daphne - 26

Luna - 21

Hermione - 5

None - 6

Other - 1