Disclaimer: SM owned the Twilight Saga books. I'm just a fan :)

Thanks to Izzzyy for beta-ing this chapter.

Ch. 03

One month.

One fucking month.

Edward nodded absent-mindedly as he pretended to understand what Heidi was saying during dinner. He tried focusing - he really did - but thoughts of a certain brunette with hymen issues kept replaying inside his head. His biggest unanswered question was why the hell did a whole month pass without Bella even mentioning their agreement?

Did she change her mind?

Did she find someone else to break her hymen?

Edward scowled at the thought. No fuckin' way! They'd made an agreement, and no one but him would do the deed. If Isabella Marie Swan approached either Jasper, James or Tyler behind his back all hell would break loose, and all three men would be unemployed by tomorrow morning.

"Hey, you look pissed right now. Are you okay?"

Or did Bella get back together with Eric? Fuck! That sonofabitch!

"Hello? Earth to Edward. Come in, Edward..."

Snapping to attention, he forced a smile at Heidi, who, minutes before they walked inside the restaurant, had given him a masterful blowjob in the car. Heidi, his supermodel girlfriend who bragged in men's magazines about how fantastic their sex life was and called him an energizer bunny. Edward gritted his teeth behind the fake smile. Heidi knew he was awesome, so how in the hell could Bella choose Eric over him?

Fuck you, Eric Yorkie. "Sorry. My mind wandered a little."

"Am I boring you?"

He shook his head. "That will never happen."

"I know," Heidi agreed, and then smiled seductively at him. "You love my mouth too much."

An almost-smile appeared on Edward's face when he heard the naughty comment. How many men would kill to be in his shoes right now, dating a gorgeous supermodel who had an extremely talented mouth? His friends had been envious as hell. Heidi was a hot topic in every single poker night he'd attended ever since they hooked up two months ago. They crowned him the King of Cool (they often resorted to typical high school behavior during these testosterone-laden nights) because of her. Truthfully, Heidi was the longest relationship he'd ever had.

Even Bella liked the supermodel. She'd told him that among all the women he had dated, Heidi was her favorite, 'cause Heidi was genuinely nice to her. This was a stark contrast to the others, who resented Bella's presence in his life.

"Oh look who just came in with a date! Bella!"

Bella?

On a date?

"I thought you said she broke up with that man?" Heidi commented, still looking with avid interest at whatever was behind him.

Whipping his head around, Edward was met by a vision of Bella and Eric walking with Emmett McCarty, the restaurant's owner, toward a table a few feet away from theirs. They were chatting animatedly; mostly Bella and Emmett while the Eric the motherfucker just listened.

Eric would know better than to antagonize Emmett by merely breathing the wrong way. There was a reason a secluded VIP room was provided in La Bella Italia. One, it was solely used for the owners, which Bella and Edward were, and for their friends. Emmett was Edward's old teammate, and he had become friends with Bella over the past two years. Co-owning the restaurant strengthened that friendship as well. Two, Eric was only able to enter the area tonight because he came with Bella. Three, Emmett knew about the entire Eric-cheated-on-Bella debacle and he was livid. The only thing stopping him at this point from pulling a Manny Pacquiao on Eric was Bella, and his respect for her.

"She did."

"Well, from the looks of it, they must have gotten back together," Heidi said with a small laugh. "The funny looking man cannot take his eyes off Bella. I can't blame him though, she looks great! This is the first time I've seen her wear a dress that short."

Too short, Edward decided frowning at the expanse of well-shaped legs shown to perfection by the black dress Bella was wearing. Not only did it enhance her killer legs, the dress also managed to show off Bella's perfect complexion.

He faced Heidi again, irritated beyond belief. "Jessica must have been the one to pick it out for her. Bella would never buy a dress like that. She's got a long-standing commitment with jeans and t-shirts."

"Kudos to this Jessica person, then," Heidi cheerfully replied, still eyeing Bella. "If not for her, I would never know how perfectly shaped her le – oh my God! The dress is short and backless."

Edward turned so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. Of all the fucking things to wear... He grit his teeth after catching a look at the back part of the dress, or lack thereof, as Bella acknowledged Emmett's pregnant wife, Rose, who stood beside her and gave her a hug.

The dress showed Bella's creamy back with a tantalizing lack of cover. Edward narrowed his eyes in disgust. Way to seduce your moron ex-boyfriend, he thought sarcastically. Show off your perfect skin by wearing a poor excuse for a handkerchief as a dress and combine it with your other curves that won't quit. Fuck you, Jasper, for ogling the particular curve of her ass. Most importantly, fuck you Eric. The sonofabitch looked like he couldn't wait for dinner to end.

"Hey, Bella just smiled at us. She finally spotted us."

Edward deliberately turned his back and faced Heidi. "Want to leave?"

"We haven't eaten dessert yet." She paused. "And you just snubbed Bella."

"I didn't snub anybody."

"Yes, you did. She was smiling at us and I was waving at her, and you turned your back and did not acknowledge her at all. Bella actually looked surprised. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug. "She would want an uninterrupted date, so I'm backing off."

Heidi did not look convinced at all, but tactfully let his explanation slide. The subject could have ended smoothly if not for Bella materializing behind him a few seconds later.

"Hey jerk, did you not see me over there?" the brunette inquired sitting unceremoniously at the available chair beside him then turned to wink at Heidi. "Hi gorgeous."

"Hi Bella, you look fierce tonight!" Heidi replied.

Bella chuckled. "Wow. I've never been described as fierce before. I'm genuinely flattered. What does it mean again?"

Heidi burst out laughing while Edward remained stoic. Bella's brows knitted as she threw him a curious look then shrugged. Whatever was making him grumpy, she knew he'd snap out of it eventually.

"I went to a writer's shindig a couple of hours ago which required I dress up. The problem was that I totally forgot about it and had to borrow one of Jessica's dresses. It must have been my lucky day, though, because lo and behold when I arrived at the party I discovered that my cheater ex is s a friend of a colleague of mine." Bella rolled her eyes. "On top of that, my ride, the always dependable Jessica Stanley, disappeared to God knows where. This colleague of mine, who I will never, ever see again, much less consider a colleague after this mishap, decided to play cupid and almost physically forced me to accept a ride home with Eric. I had no choice but to accept."

"So, you didn't get back together?"

Bella looked absolutely horrified at the thought. "God, no! Never. I was just being polite. I shouldn't have, though. Cheater ex just manipulated me into agreeing to have dinner with him. Good thing I was able to insist on eating here. I thought of a way to leave and was going to ask Emmett to help me, but then I saw you guys and that made me so happy. Salvation, at last."

She discreetly glanced at the table she'd left to supposedly say hi to the couple and sighed in relief to see Eric holding a menu and talking to a waiter. "Can I be a pest just long enough for you to give me a ride home? Or you can just accompany me until I am safely inside a taxi sans Eric. I need a feasible alibi."

Heidi was about to reply when her cell phone rang. She answered the phone, leaving Bella and Edward a few minutes to themselves.

"Try saying 'no' for a change."

Bella reached for Edward's glass of left-over water and took a sip. "I did. He just wouldn't listen."

"Make him," he snapped.

"My, my, my... Is it the time of the month again? Try baring your teeth a little then howl or bark or meow to complete the effect," Bella suggested, totally unfazed by his show of temper.

Across the table, Heidi giggled and shook her head at them while Edward, in spite of his mood, could not stop a genuine smile from coming out of his face. He glanced to see Eric staring at their table then turned to face Bella. "Lover boy's finished with the menu and is now eating you up with his eyes."

"Ick," Bella commented, shuddering.

He grinned, bad mood forgotten. "That's not even a word, Miss Eloquent Writer."

"But it thoroughly described my feelings, so...ick."

Heidi returned the phone to her purse then turned to look apologetically at Edward. "That was Gianna, my agent. I have to go meet her and some client at her office to discuss some changes in my contract. The client will leave for Paris afterwards, so it has to be done now. I'm sorry to bail on you like this."

"Don't be sorry, I understand. We're still on for breakfast tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," the model confirmed then stood up. "I'll take a cab if you don't mind. I'm really in a hurry. And oh, before I forget..." A loud slap against his right cheek caught Edward by surprise, while Bella's jaw dropped in shock. Across the room, Emmett and Rose stopped what they were doing to stare at them in confusion while Eric gaped in surprise.

In a voice loud and clear enough for Eric-the-funny-looking-man to hear, Heidi said "How could you two do this to me? I trusted you both! You don't deserve any tears at all! Fine, be together! I hope you'll have a nice life... not!" She gave them both a discreet wink as she leaned down to pick up her purse. Straightening, she mock-huffed at them before stepping away from her chair and with her head held high like a queen strutting on her own runway, she left.

Dumb and Dumber exchanged bewildered looks. Recalling the wink Heidi shot at them, Bella's eyes widened in understanding and pinched herself in the thigh. "Aww!" That really hurt! Method acting is hard. She released a pained hiss. "I mean huhuhuhuhu..." Exaggerated sniff. "Take me home, Edward." Unladylike wail. "I feel so badly, hurting Heidi." Sniff. Wail. Sniff. Sniff.

Not trusting himself to talk after such a display of bad acting, Edward escorted a tearful (and part wailing, part sniffing) Bella outside the restaurant through the VIP exit door (the same exit door that Heidi had used a few minutes prior), passing a confused Eric and barely-keeping-a-straight-face-Emmett along the way. God Bless her, Rose had disappeared, hiding somewhere while she laughed her ass off. When they were safely inside his car, both Edward and Bella burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I love Heidi! She's brilliant!" Bella exclaimed with a fist pump. "And your face when she slapped you? Classic!"

Edward chuckled. "I must hand it to you though; I never thought you could cry-howl automatically. And such an ugly crying face, too."

"Thanks, I think," she replied, rolling her eyes.

Edward started laughing again. "Eric looked really confused back there, and even more stupid."

Bella was about to reply when insistent knocking on the tinted window on Edward's side of the car made her pause. Then she groaned in frustration. "Oh my God, it's Eric. I can't believe he still followed us after what Heidi did."

Edward snorted then turned to look at her. "We better give him proof that we are indeed lovers. Come here."

"What do you mean?"

"I am you're chosen hymen breaker, so stop giving me suspicious looks. Come here."

"Why?"

"Bella..."

"Answer me first. Why?"

Sigh. "You have a persistent ex knocking on the window of the man he believes to be your new boyfriend. We should have left immediately, but we're still here. The only plausible reason is because we're making out. Let's get rid of him completely. We needed to look the part to be convincing. So. Come. Here. "

Pulling Bella closer to him, Edward leaned down to give her a kiss.

Whoa. Bella looked completely panicked and turned her head the last minute so the kiss landed on her left cheek instead.

"Why did you do that?" Edward hissed glaring at her.

"I...I'm nervous," she admitted, swallowing hard. "I...umm...I'm not much of a kisser."

Death by extreme exasperation - what a way to go, Edward thought, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. "Don't be nervous, Bella, I got your back. Always. Just relax your mouth, let me in and for fuck's sakes don't fucking turn your head away!"

Bella focused on what Edward said then swallowed audibly.

"Just relax your mouth." Does that mean I have to open it now?

"Let me in." Like his entire mouth will be inside mine? Is that even possible? It didn't look that way in movies.

"Don't turn your head away" (She refused to acknowledge the incessant amount of cursing). That I can do. I'll just not move at all.

But when she repeated Edward's instructions in her head again, another light bulb moment came. She'd read about it, duh. She'd seen it done in movies lots of times. There was no mistaking what was going to happen.

Edward's going to French kiss me.

Edward.

French kiss.

Her.

Oh my God.

I am so gonna suck...pun definitely not intended, she thought helplessly.