Hell Hath No Fury
Season 1, Episode 4
Castle: Oh my god. This is quite possibly the worst coffee I've ever tasted. It's actually kind of fascinating. It tastes like a... (pauses to sip the coffee) it tastes like a monkey peed in battery acid. Try some?
Beckett: Castle, what are you doing?
Castle: Promise not to hate me?
Beckett: I already hate you.
Castle: Fair enough.
Castle: [describing his character based on Beckett] She's going to be really smart, very savvy, haunting good looks, really good at her job...and kinda slutty.
Lanie: Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer boy?
Beckett: What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-
Lanie: Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?
Beckett: [answers phone] Beckett.
Castle: [excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!
Beckett: [interrogating a suspect] Witnesses don't place you in the club until one in the morning, and Horn was murdered between eleven and twelve.
Castle: [watching Beckett from behind one-way glass] Here it comes, and...
Beckett: So, where were you between eleven and twelve, Mr. Creason?
Castle: Booyah.
Creason: I was asleep.
Castle: Asleep! You are lame! [heard from other side of glass] You are so lame! You're a lamey, McLamester! You're so l-l-l- [back in room] LAME!
Beckett: What kind of a name is "Nikki Heat"?
Castle: A cop name.
Beckett: It's a stripper name.
Castle: Well, I told you she was kind of slutty.
Beckett: Change it, Castle.
Castle: Wait. Hang on a second. Think of the titles. "Summer Heat", "Heat Wave", "In Heat"...
Beckett: Change the name!