Disclaimer: SM owns everything.

Thanks to Izzzyy :)

Chapter 8

Edward pulled up the hood of his jacket and then zipped it mid-chest as it started to drizzle. One of the perks of living just a block away from the bar was that he could walk home, and even if it rained hard he wouldn't get too soaked.

Too soaked meaning his boxer shorts would remain dry. The rest, forget it. He was too busy mulling over his conversation with Jasper to care anyway. It was starting to feel like he was pulling a Bella: over thinking all sorts of crazy stuff, because honestly, the whole you're-in-love-with-Bella-Swan subject that Heidi had broached hours ago was plain crazy.

Then Jasper fucking Whitlock put his two cents in.

First Heidi, now Jasper?

One topic, same conclusion.

From two different people.

The fuck?

"I thought your delicious girlfriend was leaving the country tomorrow? What the hell are you doing here? Don't tell me counting boxes of beers, updating inventory and preparing purchase orders is more important than fucking Heidi Bradley all night?"

"We broke up."

Jasper dropped the inventory sheet he was holding to gawk at him. "Really?"

Nod.

The tall blond groaned. "Damn dude, you should've broken up with her a month ago! Now I owe Emmett two nights of free liquor. Shit, Ben too. Man, I hate losing."

Edward snorted. "You had bets about my relationship?"

"Relationships, boss. With an 's,'" Jasper corrected then picked up the sheet before settling comfortably in one of the chairs in front of his table, "We've been doing that since Irina. And I always won, until now, anyway."

"Irina?" He dated an Irina?

Laughing out loud, his manager raised a hand then pretended to slap someone. Edward scowled, finally remembering who Irina was exactly.

Irina Parker: the bitch who'd tried to physically hurt Bella. Well the first one in a long line, honestly. "You've been betting about me for three years? Get a life, you fuckers."

"Come on dude, we're living vicariously through you. My life's boring, Ben's celibate until Angela Weber decides to put out – good luck with that, by the way — and Emmett's on a leash. Watching you move from woman to woman, and they're all mighty fine, so kudos to you, trying to fuck Bella out of your system is fun."

Silence.

Edward closed his laptop none-too-gently and glowered at Jasper. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"To be blunt: you're so into Bella, I'm pretty sure that in the deepest part of your mind you're already married to her."

Bar Owner: stupefied into speechlessness.

Bar Manager: smugly beaming.

When Edward burst out laughing, though, smug Jasper couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Here we go. The denials will now come in buckets. Hit me."

"That's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Even Heidi's claim that I am in love with Bella doesn't top that."

"She said that?"

"Yes, after she broke up with me."

Jasper whistled. "Well, well, Heidi. I'm impressed. I didn't expect her to be that sharp. Not gonna lie dude, the thought of someone dumping you for a change makes me believe there's still hope for mankind."

Edward snorted. "Big fucking deal."

Laugh. "Of course it's a big deal! You're Edward Cullen. Nobody breaks up with you. It's always you breaking their hearts, never the other way around. Although I sincerely doubt Heidi could break your heart," Jasper shook his head. "Did she throw a hissy fit? Bawl her eyes out or scream at Bella like the majority of your exes did?"

"No. She was really cool about the entire thing and she even wanted to remain friends with Bella and me. It's a relief, actually. You know, breaking up minus the drama. And for the record, I do not have that many ex-girlfriends."

"Riiiight."

"Fuck you, Whitlock."

"Whatever man," Jasper answered, completely unaffected. "Back to Heidi. She broke up with you and still wants to be friends with not just you, but with Bella as well. She did not throw a hissy fit, so she's not angry, even if she did mention you being in love with Bella. That sounds too perfect. What's the catch?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing my ass. We're dealing with a chick here, Edward. There's always a catch."

Pause.

"I knew it! Man, I'm so good. Spit it out, boss, what's the fucking catch?"

"She asked me to reflect on my relationship with Bella for the past three years," the reluctant-to-share-boss admitted with a snort. "That's not my thing, but she made me promise. Heidi is convinced that I'm being deliberately blind over the reality of my feelings for Bella. She told me straight up that I'm fucking in love with her, and that I belong to her. To Bella, I mean."

Jasper just stared at him.

"What?"

Shrug. "Like what I said earlier, you're into Bella. You are in love with her, dude. Heidi saw it. I've been seeing it for three years. All the guys here call her Mrs. Cullen behind your back. Emmett has said that watching you pine over her gave him ulcer. Ben thought it was commendable, but then again he's currently growing a pussy, so nobody pays any attention to his opinion. Whenever you don't show up on our poker nights, we badmouth you." Jasper burst out laughing.

"Fuckers."

That made the blond laugh even harder.

Edward shook his head. "What the fuck ever. Bottom line, I'm not in love with Bella, and I've never been in love with her. She's just my best buddy who I happen to share a home with."

Right. That's why he just referred to the house as home. "Really?" Jasper asked.

Affirmative nod.

"So that's why you glower at anyone with a dick who attempts to even sit beside her every time she visits here, because she's just your best buddy." He snorted. "That's why gayer-than-gay-Tyler nearly got punched in the face when he oh-so-innocently asked you a month ago if Bella was free to hang out with him and his boyfriend Marcus. The poor guy only wanted to watch movies with her, and you started yelling 'there's no way in hell I'll let you have a threesome with Bella!' I mean dude, since when did watching a chick flick translate to having a threesome?"

Eerie silence.

"Oh, and yeah, the memo you circulated last month about the 'No Looking At Bella Below the Chin' policy? That's not even connected to the bar! And just to clear the air, why not below the neck, anyway? That's still a bit far from her...okay moving on, stop glaring at me, geez. You're totally losing it, dude. And would you stop threatening all of us? We got it, loud and clear. We mess around Bella, and it's goodbye job. Geez. I don't know what happened to you last month, but your usual protectiveness over Bella multiplied to epic proportions."

"I'm just protecting her from all of you. Nobody has any right to disrespect Bella."

Jasper sighed. "We would never disrespect her. I know you know that, Edward. We may act like typical male pigs to most women, but not to everyone. We treat her and Rose differently. We even tolerate Bella's friend, even if she's a notorious flirt that scared James a little. And that's a feat, you know. James humps anyone with pussy, but Bella's friend could give Kathy Bates' character in Misery a run for her money. I still have recurring nightmares about when she stalked me for weeks and that was three years ago."

Edward remained quiet.

"I will level with you, okay?" Jasper asked then waited for his acquiescence. When he nodded, the blond cleared his throat before speaking. "Honestly, I have a thing for Bella. I admit it. It's on and off, the feeling, but it never leaves me completely, if you know what I mean."

"Not gonna happen, Whitlock. Ever."

"Don't kill me yet. I'm not done talking."

Edward narrowed his eyes at the man sitting in front of him. "We're friends, and I do value your work, but know this, Whitlock: I would not regret letting you go if I had to. Or kicking your ass, whichever comes first."

"Threats again? Whatever, Edward. You're working up a temper over nothing, dude. I won't cross the friendship line with her. Promise." Jasper took a deep breath. "I liked Bella a lot. We shared a few things in common. I mean we both liked reading and...moving on. I wanted to date her. I didn't act on it, though, out of respect for you, and as I said, it was an on and off thing. Ever heard of the saying "it takes one to know one"? Yeah, totally applicable in our situation. The only difference is that what you're feeling for her isn't on and off. It's consistently been there, all the time, for three freaking years. Even when you're with a girlfriend, your topmost priority is always Bella. Hell, Edward, you even voluntarily left the bar for two weeks just to make sure that Alec dude wouldn't try anything with her. You never, ever, leave town. You even refused to go scouting for a new area, just within the state, as potential location for another bar, but you willingly left me in charge and went on a road trip to be with her. How could you not see what that meant back then, dude? That's practically putting a neon-yellow post it in your forehead with the words 'Bella Swan owns me' in all capital letters. You would leave town, even the state, if Bella was with you. If not, forget it. Forget about business expansion. And yeah, also forget about buying your own house, even if you can afford it now. Face it Edward: all your major life decisions depend on Bella. So, sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she's not just your best buddy. She's your freaking life."

Edward abruptly stood up. "I'm not listening to this crap anymore. I'm going home. Finish the inventory, Whitlock, and stop psychoanalyzing me. I'm paying you to work, not to drown me with your crazy theories."

Jasper sighed in frustration but kept his mouth shut. Determined to knock some sense into Edward's stubborn head, he saw the opportunity when the mule was just a step away from the door. Just spit it out Jasper. The gist of it! "Dude, wait."

"What now?" Edward practically snarled in irritation.

"Do not expect every single man to give in and leave Bella alone out of respect for you. Someone will eventually make a move, with or without you around. Bella's amazing, and inevitably men will flock around her, no matter how much you try to intimidate them. If you continue doing this whole denial thing, you will wake up one day and it'll be too late. You'll see her in a relationship with a man named Jacob who'll sweep her off her feet and take her away."

Scowl. "There's a Jacob? Who the fuck is Jacob? Have you seen him?"

Sheesh. "I just used a random name, and I'm merely stating an example. There's no real Jacob."

"Then why use that name if everything's just random talk? There is a Jacob and you're just protecting him!"

"There's no Jacob! That's just the first name that came to mind, but there's nothing significant about it. It's most likely because the last book I read was Water for Elephants, which Bella recommended, by the way, and the main dude's name there is Jacob. That's it. Chill."

Edward took a deep breath and ran his fingers over his hair in agitation. "What the fuck ever. I'm leaving."

End of conversation.

Yep, that's that. Edward crossed the street and walked towards their front door. Jasper better be telling the truth about this Jacob. When he opened the door, he heard the faint sound of a man...grunting?

Jacob? Just random talk my ass.

He quickly pushed the door open and closed it with a bang. He trotted towards the living room, ready for a full-on fight with the fucker.

"Hey you. You're early."

Bella was alone, sitting comfortably on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on her lap and licorice in her left hand. She was wearing his favorite Stoli shirt (which she'd stolen and claimed as hers using the finders keepers excuse) and pajama pants, while her hair was on a messy bun on top of her head.

No Jacob. And yet there was still a man grunting.

Confused, he looked at the TV and his jaw dropped. Bella was watching porn. And she was eating popcorn and licorice as if she was watching her usual chick flick.

Could porn be considered a chick flick? And you're asking yourself this because...?

He moved to sit beside her. "Why are you watching porn?"

"Immersion purposes."

Don't go there, Edward. You know what happens when you try to decode Bella Swan's mind. Don't ask. Don't ask! "What?" Fuck.

"For immersion purposes. Jess suggested that I expose myself more to images and scenes like that so when the time comes when I'm the one doing all that stuff I won't kill the mood by blushing the entire time. Or embarrass my partner by staring at his man parts instead of being an active participant in the act," Bella replied, giving him the bowl of popcorn and then taking a small bite of licorice as she watched the excessively noisy woman spread her legs wider for the very enthusiastic man.

She winced. "Honestly, that looks scary. His enthusiasm is so exaggerated; the poor woman's magic button is in serious danger of falling off. I mean, could he at least be gentle with the licking? It boggles my mind how people get off from watching this. Why? The sex act is horribly orchestrated, and how many genital close ups are needed to make a point? I got it by just watching two crotch shots. It's not like we don't know what our genitals look like in the first place. One's a hanging tool with two balls; the other a mound with lips that hide a magic button and a hole."

Edward choked on his popcorn.

Bella glanced at him. "You okay? Need some water?"

He swallowed audibly and shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Oh and now he's doing that. Bleh," Bella, the Roger Ebert wannabe, commented, then reached for the remote to pause the video. Edward was treated to a frozen image of a man's dick spewing cum all over an obviously fake pair of tits.

Thanks to Bella's open disgust at the visual, even Anthony the Perv refused to twitch. And that was a first. He was a normal libidinous male. He enjoyed watching porn from time to time, especially during his dry periods A. K. A. when he was in between girlfriends and not getting some. Admittedly, he'd done the whole shooting-his-cum-on-other-interesting-places numerous times. Hell, most women begged for it. Heidi included. It was kinky and hot. Seeing Bella's reaction made him feel severely chastised, though. Fuck, now she's making me feel guilty over something considered sexually fun and normal.

"I'm going to get water, want one?"

He cleared his throat. "Coke, please. Thanks."

"No prob," Bella answered, then peered at him. "You're a bit wet Edward, don't you want to change clothes?"

He shrugged off his jacket. "Nah. It's just the jacket – my shirt and jeans are dry."

Edward watched Bella walk away then turned to get a piece of licorice from the plate. He spotted the infamous notebook beside it. It was open, and written in bold letters across the top of the page were the words: THINGS TO ASK EDWARD ASAP. Checking to see if Bella was coming, and hearing her rummage inside their fridge, he picked up the notebook and check what those things were.

His heart rate went up when he started reading.

1. To shave or not to shave? Waxing hurts (she drew a sad face beside it), but Jess said a hairy vagina could be a turn off, depending on the man's preference. Based on her experience, eight out of ten liked it bare. Ask Edward before Thursday!

2. Blow job – does he want me to do it on Thursday? If yes, that's a big problem since I have no idea how to do it. (There was another sad face) Watching porn makes it look easy, but then again that's porn. Women in those are experienced professionals. Should I practice? With a cucumber? Banana? On Edward's penis? But he's huge, so I don't know... my poor mouth! Then again I just recently found out that I don't have a gag reflex. That's good, right? Just ask Edward.

3. Swallow or not?

4. What time should we do it on Thursday?

5. I know where I want it to happen but I need Edward's permission (she drew a smiley face after the last word).

Number two woke Anthony up. From flaccid to hard as a rock in seconds, he was completely awake and alert. It was crazy, but true. It didn't help that the image of Bella practicing on him kept on repeating in his mind. And her lack of gag reflex? Oh God.

Then there was Bella contemplating about swallowing.

Edward adjusted an extremely excited Anthony.

He quickly returned the notebook to where he got it, and rubbed his face with his left hand. He was reacting like a typical man. A blowjob was a blowjob. No man in his right mind could, or would, resist. Pair it with the image of Bella doing it to him, and swallowing...fuck.

And then number one entered his mind and Anthony was twitching like mad again. If his dick could talk, it'd be screaming: Fuck it, Edward! Fuck it now! We don't care if she has an entire forest down there, fuck it right now! Get me in there!

"Here you go."

Accepting the can of Coke, he discreetly adjusted the jacket on his lap, making sure it covered his overeager dick. For added measure, he took one of the throw pillows and put in on his lap as well.

Bella offered him a plate of tiramisu. "Remind me to thank your gorgeous girlfriend. This is so good."

"Make that gorgeous ex-girlfriend," he corrected watching her eat.

The plate would have met its doom if it weren't for Edward's reflexes. Reflexes. Lack of...Jesus Christ. Anthony, calm down you freak!

"What!"

Focus, Edward! "We broke up," he admitted, putting the saved plate at the center of the table.

Bella covered her mouth, a horrified expression on her face. "Because of me?"

Okay. Trick question. How could he answer that without alerting her to Heidi's fucked up misconceptions? Edward took his time answering, making a great show of opening the Coke can, and then took the longest drink he could bear before putting the can beside the saved plate. "I'll get the coaster—"

"Forget the coaster!" Bella exclaimed in a shrill voice, waving her fork around in agitation. "I don't care! Tell me what happened. Why did you break up with her? We love Heidi!" Now she sounded a bit whiny.

Taking the fork away from her before she hurt herself, Edward put it on the plate as well then sighed. "We both know that I don't love her, Bella. I liked her a lot, sure, but love her? No. So why prolong a relationship when you know nothing will come out of it? Besides, we're still friends. She's different from my other exes. She doesn't hate you, for one, and there's the fact that she wants to remain friends with you as well." And she's the one who broke up with me.

"Really?"

Nod. "Really."

Bella was quiet for a full minute before she started sniffing. When Edward looked closely, he saw why. She's crying her fucking eyes out! "Hey. What are the tears for?"

Sniff. "I'm just sad. I truly liked Heidi for you, Edward. You two were perfect for each other. Physically, God your babies would've been out-of-this-world gorgeous. I'd prepped myself to be the most awesome Aunt and Godmother ever. Personality-wise, you were both so cool. When we were having lunch, I felt so comfortable with her. With your past girlfriends, I was forced to eat salad and imagine the dressing just so I wouldn't offend them, and still, if looks could kill I would've been dead the minute I appeared. I mean, really, I don't usually eat salad, especially without a dressing, but for them I did. Yet there was still so much hate. Heidi was not like that at all. She even gave me all the skin off her chicken! " Pause. "She gave me the skin, Edward! She was that awesome!"

Wailing ensued. Anthony got so scared he deflated immediately.

"And...and she..." Bella sniffed. "She..tried our gravy/coleslaw mix, even though it looks disgusting. And she loved it!"

More tears and wailing. Shit. Edward winced, pulling Bella to him, and gave her a comforting hug. "She'll still be around. She wants to remain friends with the both of us, remember? Stop crying." He kissed the top of her head and got the box of tissues he'd spotted on the corner table. When he returned and offered the box, Bella accepted it and mumbled "thanks."

After wiping her cheeks, blowing her nose and dabbing at the corners of her eyes, Bella took a deep, calming breath then looked at him. "I remembered something."

He just lifted a brow, completely dreading what she recalled, but trying to act nonchalant.

"You used your safe word. You didn't want me to tell Heidi about our road trip. Why?"

Shrug. "She's not part of it, so why tell her?"

"That's cold."

"Why? Just because we were in a relationship it didn't mean I had to tell her everything."

"Like breaking my hymen." Bella facepalmed. "Oh no, maybe that's it, Edward! I don't know how, but Heidi must've learned about the entire thing and flipped out! Let's face it, she's the girlfriend, and even if the entire sex thing was done as a favor, it's still having sex with another female. God! I'm so stupid. So, so stupid."

"Bel—"

"No! Sorry to cut you off, Edward, but if there's a chance that Heidi will take you back if you tell her that we didn't push through with it then we won't do it. I'm cancelling our agreement. Go back to Heidi and apologize. I will too. I'll just think of another way to lose my virginity."

If Anthony could talk, he'd most likely scream a prolonged "Nooooooo!" right about now.

So Edward did the talking. For both his dick and himself. "No."

"Are you crazy? Heidi's great and—"

"Now I'm the one interrupting. Listen Bella, and listen well, okay? Honestly? I've thought about telling her, more for your sake than mine. I know you wouldn't want to hurt her. But in reality, if knowing that I agreed to help you lose your virginity would make her angry enough to give me an ultimatum, you or her, I'd choose you. No brainer. I told you before; I've always got your back, above anyone else. So this break up was actually a good thing."

Not that choosing Bella over a girlfriend was a new thing to begin with. It was always that type of confrontation that left him single every time. Heidi got his respect for being different.

"Face it, Edward, all your major life decisions depend on Bella. So sorry to burst your bubble but no, she's not just your best buddy. She's your freaking life."

He frowned a little hearing Jasper's voice in his head. Shut up, Whitlock. Since when did breaking up with a girlfriend become a major life decision? And since when did another voice, besides Anthony, appear magically in his head?

Complete madness.

"Edward? Thank you, but you have to give in sometimes and let a girlfriend win. You're not getting any younger. In two years time you'll be thirty. If your relationships keep ending this way, with you always defending and choosing me over them, you will never find the right person for you. I shouldn't even be in the equation. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be your friend, even if the love of your life ends up hating me, which, based from past experience, is not a far-fetched reality. I'll just make myself scarce so as not incur her wrath or something. Yes, we will have to spend less time together or endure a long-distance friendship, but bottom line, we'll still be friends. Nothing, and no one, can change that."

She paused for a second then sighed. "You may admit it or not, but Edward, you wouldn't have a long line of ex-girlfriends if you personally were not into relationships. Come on, let's be real about this. You're into commitment. You could easily just have one-night stands, but no, you enter into coupledom and you never cheat. You're the proverbial one-woman man. If I wasn't in the picture, I'd be sure one of them was it. One of them was The One."

Edward stared at her for a long time, not saying anything. The look was weird enough, but seeing him like that, unmoving and unblinking, was bizarre.

Edward stared at her for a long time, not saying anything. The look was weird enough but seeing him like that, unmoving and unblinking, was bizarre.

Was he even breathing?

When a full five minutes passed and he still remained immobile, Bella reached out to pat his left cheek lightly. "Edward? Hel-looo? Still there?"

He blinked a couple of times then touched the hand on his cheek, entwining it with his own. He still didn't say anything, though. Edward just focused his now unwavering stare at their joined hands.

What was going on here?