Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just a crazy fan.

Thanks Izzzyy :)

Chapter 13: Morning After, Part 2

Whoa.

Edward's hand – which was poised to knock on Bella's bathroom door a second ago to alert her of his presence – remained frozen inches away from the door, hearing her shocked admission.

"Holy Frankfurter! I'm horny...I'm horny for Edward."

He dropped the hand and backed away, unsure of what to do next.

Anthony wasn't having the same predicament though. His dick twitched and jerked with enthusiasm. Did you hear that, boss? Bella's horny and she wants you! Come on, barge in there and tell her you're just as horny!

Then the fucker did his own version of a crude, pelvic humping dance while humming "Let's Get It On."

As if he's got a pelvis to begin with, Edward thought derisively. And the song his dick was fixated on was really getting old.

Boss, it was an old song. Duh. But it's schmexy and−

Shut up, Anthony! Edward rubbed his face in frustration. He didn't mean to eavesdrop. Honest to God, he didn't. He was going to tell Bella that he was going out for a bit to buy professionally baked croissants since the ones he made ended up being hazardous to eat. He wasn't sure what happened – they smelled nice in the beginning and ended up tasting like shit in the end. It didn't make sense at all.

Come on, boss, stop obsessing about the croissants and get in there! Bella's horny! Horny! This is the silver lining...the light at the end of the tunnel...the rainbow after the rain...the rubber you didn't expect to find in your wallet when you're ready to pump...just grab it, man, and be thankful! Or let Bella grab me...whatever, as long as there would be grabbing and humping, if you know what I mean. Giggity.

He glanced at the slightly ajar door and bit the inside of his lip. If this were another woman, he wouldn't even stop to think. He'd be inside showering with her (baths took time and kinkiness aside, he preferred taking them alone), fucking like a rabbit 'cause who the fuck cares about breakfast? His usual morning after - when he did stick around, which seldom happened - consisted of one last fuck and a see you soon. But this was Bella and she was not just some ordinary lay. I'm fucking in love with her! He should respect-

When you got in there and satisfy Bella's horniness – which you undoubtedly would with perfect me on your side – you will respect her wishes, boss! Come on! Do it!

"Marie, please, please, please. Just stop with the tingling."

Edward's ears perked. Bella was talking to her vagina! He felt like his heart would burst in a second, momentarily forgetting his dilemma and basking in the knowledge that not only did they name their genitals, they both talked to them as well.

My Marie needs me, boss! Don't be cruel! Don't go all Hitler with me, come onnnnnnnnn. My woman needs me! Don't get in the way of true love!

"You're starting to annoy me, Marie Swan!" Edward heard Bella snap. "You're already sore, and I'm going to walk bowlegged to lunch with our friends - who will ask me why I'm walking like that in the first place - and I'm one hundred percent sure Edward doesn't want a repeat of last night! He did that as a favor, Marie! Stop obsessing about Anthony for a minute and let me enjoy my bath in peace!" She paused before adding a meek "Please?"

Noooooooo! I want Marie to obsess about me! I'm worthy of that! I'm huge; I'm always ready to partay – well, with Marie anyway – and I'm all smooth, hairless and neat! In short, I'm amazing!

Anthony was whining and yet he still found time to stroke his ego in the process.

Pay attention, boss. My ego doesn't need any stroking, but I do.

Edward shook his head in disbelief. He wondered if Marie talked back like Anthony. That was a question he'd ask Bella when everything was finally resolved. "Whenever that is," he whispered in frustration.

I'm completely losing manly points here, boss, but I don't care. I promise I'll behave. I promise I will never sing that Marvin Gaye song again. I promise I will always be ready in a nanosecond whenever you need me – although truthfully, I don't have to promise that. You know I'm reliable and dependable in that department.

His narcissistic dick was laying it on too thick.

Rhyme much? Boss, please let me have this. Need more promises? Fine, I promise you will never have the need for Viagra even when you're sixty! How about that?

Edward felt the beginnings of a headache hit him. A migraine was inevitable, with all the whining, indecision, yo-yoing emotions and denying his own instinct to do what Anthony had been begging him to do. He glanced at the bathroom door once again, finger combed his hair and frowned.

"And for Pete's sake, I don't know how to masturbate, Marie! I didn't need the knowledge before since I never felt the need to diddle myself, remember? It's only now that we're both like this! We've become a pair of horny sluts...Gah!"

Fuck it. I'm going in.

Anthony cheered.

He was a mere step away from the bathroom door when the shrill ringing of the phone made him stop.

Ignore it, boss.

Edward glanced at the door then sighed as the phone continued to ring.

Let the answering machine do its thing, boss. Just go be with Bella already!

It stopped after the third ring.

See! Go go go go, boss!

With a nod of determination, Edward knocked once, opened his mouth to call Bella's name but his voice was drowned out by the ringing of his cell phone.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Anthony deflated in defeat. I'm beginning to think you're cursed, boss.

"Edward?" Pause. "Are you there?"

He muttered an expletive at hearing Bella's surprised voice and reached for his fucking cockblocker cell phone inside his jean pocket.

Alice.

He pushed the answer button, told Alice to wait, and then ducked his head inside the slightly open bathroom door. He could only see Bella's neck and up, to Anthony's disappointment.

Just me? Yeah, right. Sometimes you're so in denial, boss.

"Hey, I'll be out for awhile. Fifteen minutes, tops. I just have to buy something for our breakfast feast."

"Oh. Okay. What-"

"I'll be back before you know it." Edward promised and with a final wave he was gone.

Bella heard the slam of their front door and her brow furrowed in confusion. Why was Edward acting weird? She shrugged and closed her eyes, silently thanking Marie for finally heeding her request to stop tingling. A few minutes passed before something clicked.

Lightbulb moment.

She opened her eyes and sat up, appalled. "He heard me! Edward knew I was horny for him!"

Eeeeeek.

She stood up so fast, water splashed over the tub and down the floor dousing all of the candles, making the slightly open bathroom door the only source of light. She blinked and looked around, her face, ears, and chest all red in humiliation. If the floor won't open up and swallow me, I'll dig a hole myself then jump in voluntarily. She looked up and screamed "It's my birthday! Please cut me some slack!"

Her traitor brain called her a drama queen.

Bella exhaled loudly and tried to calm herself. She was acting like a drama queen and she needed to snap out of it. She had to. It was her birthday and Edward went to a lot of trouble for her. "It's done, Bella. No amount of screaming will change that. Just talk it out with him. Look at the bright side − at least this happened with Edward and not with someone lame."

She sighed and checked the situation she was suddenly in, thanks to her drama queen-ish reaction. It was a bit dark, there were bubbles everywhere and it was way too slippery. Not a good place to be when you're Bella Swan. The last thing she wanted to happen – she just reached her humiliation quota for the day, thank you very much – was to slip, buck naked, and be discovered by Edward that way 'cause she passed out from hitting her head.

She gingerly stepped out of the tub, slipping a bit but managing to not fall (Halleluiah!) then dropped to her knees, crawling out of the bathroom. Better to look stupid than slip and fall. When she was safely outside, she stood up and turned on the lights to survey the damage she inflicted on her bathroom.

Nothing a mop couldn't fix.

With a nod, she went to get another robe and mentally informed Edward she'd be using his shower. He wouldn't mind, I'm sure of it. He'll understand. Just like how he won't make a big deal of hearing me say I'm horny for him. I'll be open and honest about it and then we'll both agree to treat it as if it never happened. Good.

She hummed the birthday song as she walked towards Edward's room.

Unaware of the conversation awaiting him when he got back, Edward rushed to the nearest bakery while talking to the cockblocker formerly known as Alice.

"Alice, what's up?"

"Hey, E. Cullen! Where were you? Rose has been trying to call your house but nobody was answering the phone. I'm not the most patient person in the world, so I told her I'd handle it and call you directly!"

"Sorry, I was busy cooking Bella's birthday breakfast while she bathed. I'm outside now, buying some butter croissants. What's going on, Alice? Shouldn't you be calling Bella?"

Bella's hyper cousin shrieked making Edward wince and hold the phone away from his ears. "I'm with my parents, my baby sister Ness, Aunt Renee and Uncle Charlie over at Rose and Emmett's house! We're Bella's birthday surprise!"

He might end up deaf after this phone call, but he was too happy to care. Bella missed her family so much and having them all in Seattle for her birthday would make her crazily ecstatic. "That's great! Bella will be crying her eyes out later."

"I know!" Alice giggled. "I love emotional Bella!"

I love her, period.

Alice would freak when she found that out.

Edward heard both Bella's and Alice's parents boisterous "Hello, Edward!" in the background with Rose's stern "Get to the point, Alice!" and Ness' "I'm legal now, Edward!" He chuckled hearing Alice mock-growl. It sounded more like a meow than a growl to him.

"Fine! Grumpy Rosie strikes again. And for the record, Ness might be eighteen but she's still off-limits. Spread the word to the guys at the bar!"

"Ali! That's unfair! I'm even taller than you!"

"Alice Dwyer, get to the effin' point!"

He could picture Alice rolling her eyes. "E. Cullen? Please bring Bella to the restaurant at exactly eleven-thirty today. Don't be late!"

"Got it."

Alice shrieked again. "I'm soooo excited!" Edward had to take the phone away from his ear for a minute, wincing again. "I have to go, Ali. Please tell everyone I said hello and that I'll see you all later with the birthday girl."

"Okay! Bye-bye, E. Cullen!"

He put his cell phone back in his pocket and entered the bakery. After buying the croissants, he hurriedly walked back to their apartment, eager to be with Bella again. When he opened the door, he saw her walk out of her room wearing jeans and a red plain T-shirt, the infamous notebook tucked under her left arm. "Hey, I'm back. How was your bath?"

Bella forced a smile. "Great. It did relieve my sore muscles. Thank you."

"Was there something that bothered you? You look...I dunno, conflicted?"

"More like humiliated," she mumbled.

Fuck, she knew I heard her! Of all the things she could figure out this fast, why not my real feelings? Play dumb, Edward. "What-"

Bella raised her right hand to stop him from talking. "Let me say my piece first. Please."

He nodded.

"I was horny," she blurted out then face palmed. "Gah! That wasn't supposed to be the first thing I said."

Edward tried to keep a straight face. Anthony was behaving for a change.

"That twitch on the upper part of your lip? It totally gave you away, buddy."

"Sorry. I would never laugh intentionally at you, Bella." He paused for a solid minute then grinned. "But you must admit the way you just said that was pretty funny."

"So much for rehearsing, huh?"

"You didn't have to rehearse anything. Just be Bella and tell me what's on your mind."

"Fine."

"Fine," he mimicked, finding Bella's fidgeting adorable. Lovable.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't mock me."

"I'm not." Edward wanted to pull her to him and kiss every part of her beautiful face, especially those soft, pouty lips.

Anthony wanted to penetrate Marie and stay inside her forever.

Edward glanced at his crotch (discreetly, so as not to alert Bella), split between amusement and irritation. Speaking in a third person now, Anthony? Seriously?

Anthony wants to remind his boss, Edward, that he only learned that kind of craziness from said boss – whom he believes to be cursed, by the way - in the first place. The boss named his perfect dick and talked to him...Anthony rests his case.

"Edward?"

He looked back at Bella, letting the fucker off the hook. "Yep?"

"We used both our safe words back in the bathroom. It felt awkward, and I honestly hated that."

He straightened. "I think it was bound to have some awkwardness between us, having done what we did last night. Bella, we did sleep together, and however planned and expected it was, the reality of us doing something intimate when we'd always been platonic is quite daunting."

"True," Bella agreed then sighed. "We can get past the awkwardness, right? I meant what I said to you before; I would always be your best buddy. I would never let what happened last night change that."

Edward pretended to look down at the bag of croissants he bought to avoid making Bella see the frustration on his face. "Of course we will get past it," he assured her, even as he gave the bag his attention and not the too-hard-to-crack brunette beside him. "We're solid, Bella. Nothing can come between us."

Anthony reiterates that he really thinks Edward Cullen is cursed.

Shut the fuck up, Anthony! The mere fact that she was horny for me proved something did change, you stupid dipshit!

Anthony applauds his boss for making a good point. The name calling hurts him, though.

"I thought you made croissants? What happened?"

"I honestly didn't know." He sighed in disappointment. "The final product tasted like crap."

"I'd still eat it."

"No. You deserve the best." He went back to looking at her.

Hoooh boy. Here we go. Bella swallowed hard as The Look reappeared. She took the notebook out from her arm and fanned herself, avoiding those eyes. She felt her cheeks started to redden. Fortunately for her, no tingles yet (emphasis on yet!). She mentally crossed her fingers. "Let's eat!"

They practically raced to the table.

Edward pointed to a stool and ordered Bella to sit when they reached the kitchen. She called him bossy, but followed his instructions anyway. She watched him fill her plate with a generous helping of her favorite omelette then add the following in succession: three pieces of bacon, 2 hash browns, a waffle and croissant.

"Everything smells and looks delicious, Edward."

"Anything for my Bella," he answered oh-so-casually while serving his own breakfast.

Bella's heart raced. She pressed her hand over it and felt the crazy thudding underneath her palm. When Edward turned and approached her with the plates, she quickly dropped her hand. I didn't know if I should be glad that instead of Marie tingling, it's my heart that's reacting for a change. If only I could figure out why, though.

"Dig in."

She thanked Edward again and attacked her plate with enthusiasm. "Oh God. Everything tastes sooo good!" Bella went all out with her appreciative moans and groans.

Anthony wishes to be deaf right now. If his boss was not cursed, then Anthony wouldn't be feeling this hopeless. He would be getting some, instead.

Edward shifted uncomfortably on the stool. His dick was hard and thought he was beyond lame. How fucked up is my life that even my own dick has lost faith in me already? He watched Bella eat and felt the dark cloud that hovered around his pessimistic dick envelope him as well. Great. Now I'm starting to lose faith in me.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" He couldn't even bring himself to look at Bella.

"I've been thinking."

No. No. Nononono...He opened then closed his mouth, too petrified to say anything.

"I wanted to thank you, erm, in my own little way."

That made him look up. "You didn't have to–"

"Oh yes, I do," Bella interrupted him. "Sorry to cut you off, but I really want to thank you in a way that will bring you pleasure."

Then she blushed.

Anthony perked up. Waaaay up. That sounds promising, boss.

At least the fucker was back to talking in first person. "What do you mean?"

Bella took a sip from her glass of orange juice (freshly squeezed just how she liked it – one of the many things she really had to thank the man in front of her for) then cleared her throat. "Last night, you didn't let me give you a blowjob 'cause you said the night was about me."

Oh yeah, boss. Realllly promising.

Edward concentrated on breathing evenly.

She put the glass down then dropped the bomb. "So I've decided to give you one this morning. As a tangible thank you - not just mere words. At first, I considered giving you a new pair of your favorite Nike's, but I scratched that idea since you still have five extra pairs of those, all new and unused. Then I thought about cooking for you, but nixed it 'cause all we ever do is eat. Doing your laundry for a week popped into my mind, but I'm sure you wouldn't think that's fair. So, after a couple of nays, I had a yay. 'Why not give Edward a blowjob?' I asked myself. 'He didn't get one last night 'cause he was being selfless. He deserves it.' So, blowjob it is."

Bella Swan: coolest babe ever! Yes, we are gonna get some after all, boss!

"Are you," he cleared his throat, "sure?"

Coolest-birthday-celebrant-ever nodded. "Wait a minute," she said then flipped open her notebook, looked for a certain page, found it, read it in a hurry, grinned mostly to herself then closed it – all in a span of a minute. "I'm ready!"

Me too!

Edward scolded his eager dick. Shouldn't you be disappointed that you won't have Marie?

I'm seizing the moment, boss. Besides, my Marie was sore. She deserves a break. Bella's pouty mouth on the other hand...

What a thoughtful fucker his dick had become. All thoughts left Edward when he saw Bella walk towards him and then kneel. Fuck! "Umm..."

Bella was even smiling when she reached to unbuckle his belt. "Spread your legs, Edward."

That was the four sexiest words he'd ever heard.

What about "Fuck-me-now-Edward?" That's hotter and more to the point, boss.

Edward expelled a breath then parted his legs, welcoming Bella who moved between them. When he saw her unbutton his jeans, his heartbeat went nuts.

Another set of sexy words, boss? Do-me-any-way-you-want. Six words though.

The sound of his zipper going down made Edward hiss.

And booyah, what about Suck-my-clit? That was sexy too.

"Raise your, erm, butt a little. I'm pulling down your jeans and boxers."

That shut Anthony up.

His dick went mute but made sure he greeted Bella with a bang. The fucker almost poked her eye when released from its confines.

"Whoa, Anthony!" Bella smiled up at Edward. "I think he's excited."

Edward's ears reddened. "Tell me about it."

Soft, gentle hands held Anthony loosely as Bella leaned down and dropped a kiss on the tip. Just a peck, then Edward heard her talk to his dick. "Hey you. Marie and I wanted to thank you for last night. You've done so well, Anthony."

The fucker hardened and lengthened even more, then twitched and jerked in Bella's loose hold. That was Anthony preening in dickspeak.

Then it began.

Edward closed his eyes the moment he felt Bella's moist tongue touch Anthony's head, swirling it around twice before licking the underside. He could feel her producing more spit as she repeated the licking and swirling of her tongue on and around Anthony. She bathed his rigid prick with it, making Anthony glisten. When she released his dick with a pop, he heard her mutter "the wetter, the better" under her breath before repeating everything again.

Edward moaned. Best fucking advice ever. Thank you for remembering that, Bella.

He opened his eyes when, for the second time around, Bella stopped licking Anthony. He saw her looking intently at what she was doing, the tip of her tongue peeking out of her almost-parted mouth in concentration. Edward wanted to suck that tongue so badly he felt like he was going to go crazy. He got distracted when he saw Bella form a ring with her thumb and forefinger at the base of his over-excited dick and gently pull it upward until she reached the tip, doing this twisting move that made him close his eyes – especially when he felt her swipe his piss slit with her pinkie for a second − before going downward again. She did all this while her left hand massaged his balls. He grunted. My woman did some fucking research.

"Do you like that, Edward?"

"Uhhh...yep..." So fucking much!

"Thank you, Cosmo." Bella mumbled to herself, watching Edward's facial expressions. Don't fail me now, jaw exercises. She wrapped both her hands back around Anthony's base then leaned closer, tonguing the itty, bitty slit that the magazine said was really sensitive and could make men's toes curl when stimulated.

"Oh fucking God!" He gave out loud gasps. "God! Fucking...God!"

Please forgive Edward's blasphemy. She swirled her tongue over Anthony's helmet head then put it inside her mouth and sucked. She tasted Edward's bitter yet sweet essence and she licked and sucked some more as her hand continued with the up and down motion to the rest of Anthony that was left untouched by her tongue. The other hand relentlessly fondled his balls.

Then without warning, Bella simultaneously licked and sucked his piss slit which was filled with pre-cum, firmly but gently stroked his dick and did a two-finger massage to that skin between his ass and balls and Edward exploded.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Bella!"

He squeezed his eyes shut as blinding light filled his vision while his body felt like he was floating.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Caught off-guard, Bella opened her mouth wider to accommodate the load of jizz that Edward released. She couldn't believe the amount he produced, that however quickly she swallowed, there was just too much coming. She cupped a hand below her chin and let the excess that she failed to swallow dribble into it. She looked around for something to wipe her face with and saw a towel by the sink, but it was too far to reach, and if she insisted in getting it, Anthony would be pulled out off her mouth. Not good, considering he's still spewing his manly juice. So with a shrug, she quickly wiped her hand on her jeans before putting it back under her chin as she continued to swallow.

Edward rested his elbows on his thighs after his mind-numbing orgasm, rubbing his face with a hand before focusing on Bella who remained kneeling in front of him. She was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand then reached for the table napkin to do the same with her hands.

"God, I love you."

Bella looked up from her focused wiping to stare quizzically at him.

Edward's calming heart began to race once again. Did he say that too soon? He straightened but did not avert his eyes, waiting for Bella's response.

She burst out laughing and went back to cleaning her hand.

Edward lowered his eyes and pulled up his boxers and jeans, zipped and buttoned it. She laughed? Fuck my life, Anthony might be right. I am cursed.

"Funny what an orgasm can do to a person. One second you're cursing God, the next you're proclaiming your love for the big G." She grinned at him. "Real powerful stuff, huh? Almost like having a religious experience, right, Edward? Dude, I completely understand. I've seen Him myself, hanging out with these famous dead people last night."

Edward gaped incredulously at her. Seriously? There's no way in hell she could be this dense! Un-fucking-believable! Don't take my words too literally, Bella!

He would think about her visions of God while peaking (and seeing famous dead people with Him as well) when he had more time. That was kind of too big to dwell on this morning. Then again, it was Bella and it didn't seem so weird anymore. She fucking thought I told God I love him after an intense orgasm. The scary part about that? She truly believed it, knowing I'm not religious at all.

Bella stood up still chuckling. She patted his head like he was a fucking five-year-old then walked towards the sink to wash her hands and face. When she was done, he watched her take a plate and fill it with food then went back to the breakfast bar. "You want some?"

He frowned, trying to figure out the inner workings of Bella's mind. "No." She really didn't get it. "Bella?"

"Yep?"

"I love you."

Miss Oblivious made an awwww face. "I love you too, buddy. I read about that finger-pressing-the-perineum thing and I really wanted to do it to you last night. Good thing I was able to do it now."

He breathed through his nose. "Uh, thanks. That was intense." Why can't I get through to her? I told her I love her and she moved the topic to something about sex. Fuck! This isn't about sex, Bella. Far from it!

Bella beamed. "I could tell! I was about to do the deep-throat thing when you came. Too bad, I didn't get to see if those jaw exercises I'd been doing worked. It made me wonder about the reliability of doing Kegel exercises, to be honest. Would it really make a difference?"

She did these things and talks about Kegel exercises but she can't process a simple and direct I love you? What the fuck?

"You should try it, Edward." His main source of frustration and madness took a bite of bacon, looking thoughtful.

"Try what?"

"Kegel exercises. They're not strictly for women, you know."

"Why the fu-, uh, hell should I try that?"

Bella swallowed her food before answering. "Well, Kegel exercises apparently help men make their erections firmer. Oh yeah, it could also help them last longer, too. Help gain control over their ejaculation or something."

She was so matter-of-fact.

Edward was beyond frustrated.

Anthony was offended. I didn't need help from Mr. Kegel, boss! That man had some twisted ego if he seriously believed that he could teach me about how to improve my sexual performance. I can get firmly erect all by myself! And I certainly didn't need him controlling when I'll explode! That's harassment and taking my freedom away! I'll fight him to the death! Bring it on, Kegel! Ha!

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. Anthony just declared war against Mr. Kegel. He shook his head and tried to clear all the craziness. As he watched Bella resumed eating in silence, he finally admitted to himself that he couldn't do this alone.

He needed reinforcements.

Now, who could help me crack the Bella code?