Hey sorry again for the long time it took too update but exams have been a handful. Anyways I know this chapter seems depressing but I promise you, things will get better. I love happily ever afters, but some angst is always nice.

Nathan heard the words but nothing clicked. They found the bodies…They found Haley's body; they found HIS Haley's body. No, No, No, it's not true; it can't be…Nathan's heart felt as if it burst into a million pieces. His worst nightmare, the thing he had laid wide awake all night thinking about was now a reality…Nathan tried to form words, tried to respond to the news that Carl had just told him. But he couldn't. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear what else Carl was saying, he couldn't hear the other people that were in the room asking him was what going on, they were just small murmurs and and it was becoming hard to breathe. Nathan couldn't think straight. Tons of images of Haley running through his mind…, her laugh, her beauty, her spirit, the way she could make him feel better just by smiling….they were now gone. Haley was now gone. Some man had killed her in cold blood. How could anyone cause his Haley pain? An image of Haley screaming in pure terror came into his mind…If he ever, Ever saw that man again, he would kill him without any sympathy…the way that man had….killed Haley and Ally…Ally, his little girl dead. He'd never get to see her. He'd always pictured what she was going to look like…he thought she would be absolutely beautiful, just like Haley. He'd never know her favorite color, he would never know if she was a tomboy, or a girly girl, if she would have liked school…he would never know anything. She was gone, Haley was gone, they probably have been gone for years... He just had been too naive to actually believe it, God, he had actually thought there had been a chance for a perfect ending…for Ally and Haley to come home and to be alive and them to live happily. But that wasn't meant to be. Ally and Haley were gone, and he was all alone. How could that man do that to him? Why? Haley had done nothing to be….hurt and killed the way she was and Ally sure as hell hadn't done anything. Nathan's heart constricted even more, his eyes suddenly very moist, his head was throbbing, he dropped the phone, it was useless now, everything was useless now, Nathan felt his legs give out beneath him as he fell against the wall to the ground. Nathan held back the outrageous sobs that were trying to come out. He couldn't cry. Crying wouldn't bring Haley and Ally back. He just stared forward, his body limp.

"Nathan? Nathan! What…What's going on?" Lucas stammered out as he watched Nathan drop the phone and fall to the ground. Lucas's own heart crumbling as he spoke. He knew the news couldn't be good if it had had this effect on Nathan…Nathan never had looked as lost and weak as he had in that moment, not even when Haley was first abducted…and that's what scared him most.

Nathan looked up at all the questioning faces around him. Peyton, Jake, and Brooke all were standing now too, Peyton holding Jake tightly that was nothing on Brooke's death grip that she had on Lucas. Jenny and Kate were standing behind there parents, clueless as to what was going on. Nathan voice cracked as he finally found his voice, "They..." he paused. "They found their bodies." He was slowly losing his battle to keep the tears in. Everything was going blurry.

"O, God," Brooke's tears came full force, not even trying to stop them she leaned into Lucas as she felt her own legs beginning to feel rubbery.

"Mommy, what's going on?" Kate asked terrified as to what was going on. Brooke couldn't even respond, she just held Kate as tight as she could as her tears fell.

"God, Nathan, I'm so sorry," Jake managed to get out as he himself was slowly losing it. He held Jenny and Peyton close, trying to comfort them. Peyton just stood stunned in Jake's arms. Tears couldn't form, nothing made since. Haley had done nothing to deserve this! How could horrible people still live, and yet this could happen to Haley. Nathan and Haley had been so happy, they were going to be parents… their little girl and Haley were now gone…Peyton closed her eyes trying to close out the pain.

Lucas was trying to hold back his own tears, but the thought of finally knowing that he would never see the girl he had grown up with and who had basically been his sister was enough to make him break down in uncontrollable sobs. He wanted to comfort his brother, say something to be able to lessen the unbearable pain that he was no doubt going through. Lucas tried to form words as he looked at Nathan's pained face, "Nathan," his voice was highly emotionally and unsteady, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he kept repeating it over and over, thinking if maybe he said it enough it would somehow alleviate some pain. Lucas's tears started to fall readily as he spoke and held his grieving wife, and very confused daughter who was on the verge of tears. Kate let go of her parents, and walked over to Nathan, tears now streaming down her small face, "Uncle Nate, I'm sorry," she said a small voice. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but she knew it probably had to do with Nathan's wife and daughter, and the look of sadness on Nathan's face was breaking the little girl's heart. Kate wrapped her arms around Nathan and hugged him tightly. Nathan hugged her gently, and suddenly he couldn't hold in the pain that he'd been holding in for the past 5 years anymore, he couldn't pretend he was alright, and he broke down in sobs. He cried for Haley's death that didn't have to happen, and he cried for his little girl who never even got to see the light of day. He cried, knowing that his life would never be complete again.

- - - - - -

Three days had passed sense the news of the finding of Haley's body. Nathan figured Hell couldn't have been much worse. In the past 64 hours, he had barely been able to move from his apartment. He hated being outside, around people with happy lives, so carefree. Nathan had been that way once…after he had met Haley, before her his life was pretty pathetic and worthless, but the way he had felt then had nothing on what his life was like now. He now felt hollow, he had received so many apologies and condolences in the past 3 days, he felt he would be sick. Nathan knew the people only meant well, but if he had one more person say they "knew" what he was going through and everything was going to be "alight" then he swears he would break something. Nobody knew what he was going through, nobody at least that he and Haley had known. None of them had a wife who had been pretty much everything the person could ever imagined of having, and having a wonderful life with a baby on the way, which sure had been unexpected but they were going to handle it and everything was going to be alright. Of course, that was all ruined the day some man broke into their apartment for no reason and all and brutally killed Haley and his daughter and then recklessly threw their body into the ocean!

The finality of finding Haley's body had pretty much broken Nathan. Before, at least there were always…what ifs and maybes. Now there was closure that they wouldn't be coming back, so many people in the past 3 days had told him that closure was a good thing, that he could finally move forward with his life, but how could he…without Haley? He didn't want to move forward, he sure as hell would never find another woman, what's the point when his soul mate was dead…part of him had died with her and he would never want to share his life with any others. Nathan didn't even see the need for a new apartment, why not just live in the small apartment forever. There was no point in moving. Nothing new was going to happen in his life. He would forever be alone. At least, he had Lucas, Brooke and Kate. They really have helped in the past 5 years. Peyton, Jake, and Jenny are great too when they are in North Carolina. And he has really appreciated them over the past 3 days especially. Lucas and Jake had called Haley's parents and other family and friends and had told them the news…Nathan just couldn't call them in state that he was in. Brooke and Peyton had booked the funeral home for the viewing and….funeral. It was so hard to think about, knowing that a funeral was so final. The casket would of course be closed; her body was in no condition of viewing, since they said guessed that Haley had been dead since the night of her abduction. He couldn't even think about what she probably looked like…it was too painful to think of her once beautiful, so full of life body…so beaten up and lifeless… The detectives had also explained that she had been put in a big garbage bag after the man had killed her and dumped her into the ocean…Nathan's blood always boiled at the thought. If he ever saw the man responsible for this again, there's no telling what he would do.

"Nathan?" Lucas called out as he let himself into Nathan's apartment.

"I'll be out in a second," Nathan replied tiredly from inside his bedroom. Lucas was going to pick him up and take him to the funeral home along with Brooke and Kate. He hadn't put too much effort into his appearance, he just didn't have the energy, he had managed to put on a suit and tie, and comb his hair, but that's it. You could see the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and his eyes were red rimmed from the amount of tears that have spilled through his eyes in the last couple of days. He was going to keep his emotions in check during the viewing; he was going to be strong. Just 5 hours…he wasn't sure if he could take it. But he knew he had to, he had to be strong and put on a courageous face, like he knew Haley would have wanted him too…God Haley, he already missed her so much, even more in the last couple of days. He had been asked to get pictures to use for the memorial. It had been the hardest thing he thought he ever had to do in his life…looking at Haley, her smile. It was hard to remember being happy, he hadn't been happy in 5 years, he knew he wouldn't ever be as happy as he was in those pictures. Nathan sat on his bed holding his face in his hands brushing off the tears.

Lucas walked looked around the apartment, remembering all the past times he had walked in to see Haley cooking or watching t.v. and remembering the way she would smile and say 'hey buddy'. Sometimes it felt like that had been so long ago and others it felt like it had been last week. He shook off the thoughts, they were too hard to think of, he knocked on the bedroom door as he opened it. Nathan looked just about how Lucas felt, a mess. Lucas gave Nathan a tight smile, "You ready?"

Nathan sighed, "I'm never going to be ready for this." He said dejectedly, "I shouldn't have to have been going to this until I was 80, not in my twenties. It's not fair."

"No, it's not," Lucas agreed. "But life never is. And this is now what we have to deal with." Lucas looked at Nathan more intensely. "It's going to be hard, you can't just get over this, like some people say you can. Trust me, I understand how special Haley was." Lucas said as he tried to keep his voice steady. "She loved you so much, and she would want you to find happiness."

Nathan rubbed his forehead, "How? Because I don't see how I can. You know, maybe this is all my fault, like if I had just gotten home a hour earlier, I could have protected her, or maybe…maybe if I wouldn't have met her and stayed away from her like you warned me too, then she wouldn't have been abducted because she obviously wouldn't have been in that apartment. Anything would be ok, as long as Haley was alright…"

"Nathan," Lucas interrupted. "None of that is true, you cannot blame yourself for what some bastard did. This is not your fault. And Haley was the best thing that ever happened to you, without her you would have still been a conceited jackass, and you were just as good for her as she was for you. You made her happy." Lucas said completely believing every word that he was saying. "Haley had never been happier than you two were together. You need to know that." Lucas said emotionally. "And Haley's still with you. She'll always be with you, Ally as well."

Nathan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drive the tears and pain out. He rubbed his eyes and stood up. "We should leave." Lucas nodded and followed Nathan out of the room. This was going to be one long night…