Chapter 5

I continued staring at the ceiling until I forced myself to get up. Edward was lying beside me humming my lullaby, soothing me as I tried to force the memories to a small corner in my brain. I would never forget. One of the unfortunate things of a vampire's brain. Every hurtful, upsetting memory, which could be forgotten if I was human, would stay in my memory.

I shifted myself away from Edward and headed to the closet. I picked a simple pair of jeans and a shirt and walked out not knowing exactly what one I had picked.

My mind was wondering, not focusing on the real world, drifting into unwanted memories. I made it to the door when I felt my hand being held. I turned to face Edward. "Tell me what you're thinking?" I released my shield and let him sift through… "Oh, ok. I don't want to bring this up but, you'll have to tell Ness." I nodded in agreement. "I'll break the news to her today, but not right now, just try and not focus on…on that." I couldn't bring myself to mention it. It would release my deep emotions, and I would lose control.

Edward held me against him, and I wrapped my arms around him, my head rested against his chest. He let go of me and we headed back to the main house.

We approached the house within a few minutes, and entered to see that everyone was already there. Esme looked over to us then ran towards me and held me tight in a comforting hug. Carlisle must have told her. She patted my back and whispered that they were all there for me. She let go and headed back to where she was sitting. I took the time to see what everyone was doing, try and understand what they were feeling.

Rosalie and Emmett were together on the couch watching the TV. Football. But there was no enthusiasm on his face; it was set, as was Rosalie's. I looked to the screen, I was sure that was Em's favourite team, wasn't it? I had seen him watching just a simple match and he'd be roaring at the screen. But now, nothing.

I looked to Alice; she sat on the floor, with her knees to her chest, and her head resting on them. Concentrating on the future I guess, or was she? She seemed to be rocking back and forth, ever so slightly, not enough that it was obvious. Jasper sat on the couch next to her, with his hand on her shoulder. He looked up at me, and knew that I had noticed the emotion in the room. I suddenly felt calm and relaxed, without any worry in my mind. I continued looking when I saw Jacob and Ness on the couch. They were laughing and messing about. Had they not noticed how depressed everyone seemed to be in the room? I looked over to Jasper and he nodded. He must have them feeling happy and not catching on to the sadness everyone felt. I wanted to be sad too, but another wave of happiness ran through me. I was quite grateful he was there.

"Jake, please don't think about what you two were doing last night, she is my daughter." Edward spoke up, I looked over to Jake who laughed at what he was getting at. I wrapped my shield around them both then turned to Edward. "Satisfied?" He looked down at me and smiled, "Yes, but I'd rather not let him think of that-" I pressed my finger against his lips for him to shush. He lifted my finger off his mouth and whispered to me, "I think it's best if you tell her now. She wants to go visit." I didn't want to talk about his death. My feelings were beginning to show, as Edward looked upset, not mirroring my feelings, but to see me upset. It hurt him to see me like this. "Ok, it would be nice to use Jasper though." I smiled and turned to Renesmee.

"Ness, erm, there's something I need to tell you…"

Renesmee sat curled on the couch, her head leaning against my lap. My hand stroked her hair, and wiping a tear off her face every now and then. She shifted her body and lifted her hand up to my head, "But you seemed happy yesterday." She showed my reaction to the little birthday surprise that had awaited me yesterday evening.

"I know Hun, it's just I didn't want to upset everyone. I know he was quite close to a lot of you, like Edward, Alice and Jacob, I thought that I would just keep it from you until the time was right. I hope you understand." She sniffled then wiped a wet eye. She turned to face me and gave me a hug. I rubbed her back and held her in front of me. "It'll be alright Ness, we'll get through this."

Jake had left once I told him the news. I hadn't realised he was so close. Edward said he was running around the forest for some alone time

Carlisle walked in the room with the phone in his hand, and then he placed it back on the holder. "That was the funeral directors, they were hoping to speak to you but I said you weren't here"

"What did they want?"

"Well basically they don't know that you know he died Bella. They called to inform you about his death and about some arrangements for his funeral."

"Can we go?" Renesmee asked. We all looked at her, but deep down I wondered whether we could.

"I don't know, there's a chance they might not recognise you, but if lots of close friends go, they will be expecting Bella, we don't want anyone recognise her." There would always be that case, too many people knew me when I was eighteen. I guess it's kind of obvious why we wait almost a hundred years to return to an original place.

Renesmee looked disappointed, "There's no way she can pretend you're not? Say you're my sister or something." I opened my mouth to respond but Carlisle answered.

"It would be a huge risk, but if we do the math I guess you could pass of as grandchildren." Renesmee smiled then turned to me. "Can we mum? Please." I looked up to Carlisle then back to Ness, what would be the consequences if someone found out? I looked down to Ness, her face filled with desperation. She hadn't seen him for the same amount of time I hadn't seen him. "Ok, but are you sure you want your final memory of him lying in a box?" A small lump arose in my throat, but I ignored it as I tried not to focus on it.

"I'm positive; anyway, I'm sure Jake would want to meet the pack again, and you could take it as a chance to see who lives there still…" She looked over to Carlisle and waited till he grasped the concept of what she was aiming towards. Moving home.

"Ness, Hun, why you so eager to return to Forks?" Edward spoke; he always seemed confused at Ness' love for Forks. Perhaps it was because it was her first home and was filled with memories.

"I don't know dad, I just thought it was a good place to live."

She sank back into my lap and stared ahead aimlessly. Alice skipped back into the room, "You can both go to the funeral, it's going to be fine, weather should be ok as well. I've already picked out your clothes" she bounced on the spot gleefully, "Sorry, I shouldn't exactly be happy with the clothes. Stray thought sorry." I smiled at Alice then wondered what sort of clothes she would put Ness and I in, black dresses no doubt, but Alice can be unpredictable.

I turned around to the back window as I heard the thudding of wolf feet. I watched as Jacob walked through the door. His head was bent down, not showing us his expression. Ness got up and ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. Then whispered something in his ear. He looked up to me and I looked at his face, his cheeks were wet with what I assume were tears, his face looked so sad that I was glad Ness was there to comfort him. "You're going to his funeral, isn't that like, dangerous for you, especially you Bella." I nodded in agreement but I knew it would be fine.

"Alice says it's ok, you can come too if you want. Ness said you might want to see the pack."

Jacob laughed to himself, "Yeah, I guess they would want to see who the real Alpha was." He smiled at the thought. "So when are we going?" I looked over to Carlisle, I assume he knew.

"I think it's next week, the funeral directors still have to call back." He pointed to the phone which surprisingly rang at the same moment. I bent over and picked up the phone.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Mr Williams, at Samuel and co funeral directors, to whom am I speaking with?"

"This is Isabella Cullen"

"Well Mrs Cullen I've been trying to contact you over the matter which is your father's death, and I was wondering whether I could talk to you about funeral arrangements. Is there any chance you'll be visiting Forks in the next week?"

"Well I myself am unable to come," I turned to Ness who was still in Jacob's arms, "But my grandchildren are going to visit," Renesemee turned her head to me and smiled.

"Oh, well all we know is that it will be next week, Friday I believe. Also, his lawyer is wishing to talk to you about the will he's left behind." It would be just like Charlie to leave us something.

"Ok, well thank you for everything. I'm sure his wife Sue will sort everything out for you."

"Well ok, thanks Mrs Cullen, I'm sorry for your loss." I put down the phone. I'm sure everyone had heard the conversation.

"What am I going to do about the will?" I couldn't go down to the lawyers myself; I would actually need someone who looked older.

Edward walked over and put his arm around my shoulder, then kissed my forehead. "We'll figure it out when the time comes. For now we'll just carry on as normal." I turned my head and kissed him softly on the lips. I lent my head against his chest and let him hold me.

Roll on Friday.