About a week after Rae was acting freaky, Rae, Haze and I had broken into Zim's base... again. We couldn't help it. It was too much fun to see Zim freaking out. After a few MAZR (Marina and Zim Romance. Ugh.) jokes, Haze and Rae started arguing. "Rae, I think you have a subconscious desire to kiss Zim yourself," Haze said, smirking.
Rae slapped Haze's arm. "NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN."
"RAZR... Rae and Zim Romance!" Haze snickered.
"I'll kill you!" Rae threatened as she tackled Haze. Zim had been injured because I had squirted him with a bottle of POOP BBQ Sauce (why that was in my backpack, I do not know), and was now attempting to drag himself over to the trash can. Why he just didn't use his PAK legs, I have no idea. Zim was such a moron sometimes. He eventually gave up and sat with his back pressed against a wall.
Meanwhile, a fight began to take place between Haze and Rae. Haze punched Rae's shoulder. Rae growled and bit Haze's hand. "HEY!" Haze said, and bit Rae's arm with her extra sharp Vortian teeth.
"Ow!" Rae yelped. "HAZE, YOU WILL TAKE IT BACK!"
I didn't want to be caught in the middle of the fight, so I sat a few inches away from Zim and watched.
GIR climbed on Zim's head. "Aww, my master has a boo-boo."
"I will never!" Haze objected.
"YES. YOU WILL," Rae said firmly, tackling Haze again. Haze fell over, but quickly kicked Rae away. Haze stood and headbutted Rae. Rae flew into a wall from the headbutt.
I watched the fight, somewhat amused. Beside me, GIR started licking all the BBQ sauce off of Zim.
"Give up yet?" Haze asked.
"Takeitback!" Rae hissed.
"Or do you not want to except the RAZR?"
"THERE IS NO SUCH THING!"
"Yes there is."
"LIES!" Rae tried to attack Haze, but Haze kicked Rae where her squeedlyspooch was, causing her to fall over. "Oof!"
Zim licked a "licking stick" and continued to watch the fight. "Who knew girls could fight..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.
"Oh, nothing your puny human brain would ever understand."
"Ugh... YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Rae announced. Rae tackled Haze yet again, and Haze fell, hitting her head with a loud thump. "OW!" Haze yelped. "...YOU WILL ACCEPT THE RAZR AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!"
Zim laughed. "This is highly amusing! But I don't like the Rachel-worm."
"Of course you don't," I snickered.
Haze punched Rae again, and she flew into a wall... again. "OW!" Rae yelled. "No! RAZR IS A LIE!"
Zim was laughing his head off. "This is priceless!" He picked up a camera (that had been convenientally on the floor) and began snapping pictures of the fight.
Rae slapped Haze, and Haze backhanded Rae.
"GO GOAT LADY!" GIR cheered. "WHOOOOO!"
"Is that all you've got?" Rae demanded.
"No, I've got more!" Haze said.
The door opened, and Dib barged in. "ALIENS- wait, fighting?" He turned to Zim. "What's going on?"
Zim took more pictures. "Girls fighting over me."
"What the heck?" I muttered.
"WHAT?" Rae screamed. "NO! SHUT UP, ZIM!" She then punched Haze in the face, who got a black eye. Haze kicked Rae in the face, and she flew back and also got a black eye.
"I never thought I'd see this day..." Dib muttered. I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about, but I didn't really care.
"That is what you're fighting about, isn't it?" Zim asked. "RAZR and MAZR?"
"NO! Hey, I'm not even fighting!" I protested.
"But you're beside me," Zim pointed out.
"ACK!" I scooted away.
"RAZR IS A MYTH!" Rae screamed.
"Yeah?" Haze asked, smirking.
"Pff," Zim muttered as he took even more pictures. "Girls can't stay away from me."
Rae slapepd Haze again."I WILL KILL YOU, ZIM! RIGHT AFTER I'M FINISHED WITH THIS PATHETIC GOAT!"
"I AM NOT A GOAT!" Haze hissed, as she kneed Rae.
"OUCH. Yes you are, you lying goat!"
Dib sat down in between Zim and I, watching with an amused expression. Zim glared at Dib and scooted away. "I don't like you, Dib-stink."
"Hey, I don't like you either!" Dib said as he withdrew a video camera and recorded the fight.
"...Then why are you in my base, sitting beside me?" Zim scooted farther away.
"Because this is universally fun to watch?"
"I'M A VORTIAN!" Haze objected. "At least call me a goat person!"
"Blarg, I END THIS!" Rae announced as she reached into her PAK and withdrew a laser gun. She aimed it at Haze.
I hadn't noticed it before, but Haze had an Irken PAK. I wasn't sure of the reason, however. Haze stood on her spider legs and slashed the laser gun out of Rae's hand. She then slashed at Rae, causing her to fall over. "Give up, already!"
"Never!" Rae said. "RAZR IS A LIE."
"RAZR is so real."
"No!"
"No it's not," Zim said.
"Zim, you don't get a say in this!" Haze said.
Zim ignored Haze and glanced at Dib's camera. "You're going to give that to that stupid 'Idiotic Mysteries' show, aren't you?"
"It's 'Mysterious Mysteries,'" Dib corrected. "And yes, yes I am." Zim blasted the camera with a laser. "Now you're not."
"NOT COOL!" Dib lunged at Zim, pinning him to the floor.
"GET OFF OF ME, DIB-SMELL!" Zim kicked Dib in the stomach.
"Oof!" Dib got off and kicked Zim's squeedlyspooch.
Haze skittered around on her spider legs, trying to blast Rae with a laser. Rae jumped out of the way just in time, and fell to the floor in the process. She lay on the floor, panting with exhaustion. Haze retracted her spider legs and hovered above Rae, also panting. "Give... up... yet?"
"...Fine... you win..." Rae grumbled. I wouldn't say she was exactly admitting to liking Zim, but she just didn't want to fight anymore.
"VICTORY!" Haze said triumphantly.
Rae put her hand over her black eye. "Ow..."
"...Man, I just realized that was pointless."
"What?"
"Yeah. It was pointless."
"How?"
"Aww. They stopped fighting," Dib muttered.
Zim frowned, and turned his attention to Haze. "How could fighting over me be pointless?"
"Well..." Haze said. "Let's see... Let us weigh the outcome." She turned to Rae. "We've both got black eyes, and it was all to prove that RAZR was a reality."
"...And how do you feel about this, Zim?" I asked.
"Pretty good," Zim replied.
Rae narrowed her eyes. "WHAT? YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT RAZR?"
Haze burst out in laughter. "I KNEW IT!"
"No," Zim said. "I meant that I felt good about watching you guys fight and not doing anything about it. It was very amusing! You two are make a wonderful form of entertainment."
"But that's not what I asked!" Rae pointed out.
"I don't pay attention to stupid questions." This answer caused Rae to facepalm.
"...Now what?" Haze asked.
"GAH. I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS," I said.
"Now, back to what I was doing!" Zim said, standing on his spider legs and aiming his laser at Dib's head.
"...RAZR still isn't real..." Rae muttered.