A/n: WOW! A lot of you… most of you… would really go all the way with Nick? To be honest… I would just make out with him and touch his hair... xD

Vamoosing Hearts

Chapter7

That's right. I thought it was impossible for someone to love me. I won't go into detail right now because it comes up later on. But I will tell you the reason I felt that way.

Remember when I told you my mom died when I was ten? Well she killed herself. She suffered from depression. I would love to make the story even more tragic for you and tell you that I was the one who found her, but I wasn't. If I was… I would probably have ended up like her.

To add on to the issues with my mother and how it made me feel like I was unloved, my dad didn't make it any better by always working and never being home. I felt like he didn't care for quite a while.

And then my sister moved half way across the country to go to college. She left me and it hurt because she's my older sister and I couldn't live without her. I really needed her. It felt like she didn't care about me, either.

And finally, No Name. That's self-explanatory.

So you can see that the one's I loved most basically shit on me. I felt worthless for a portion of my life but I always told myself I wasn't alone. I had people around me, so I wasn't alone. It wasn't until Nick that I learned the feeling is emotional, not physical.

Veering away from that depressing detour, let's get back on track.

Patrick and his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Grant, came over for dinner. We were all gathered in the living room and to be honest I was bored out of my mind and missing Nick… a lot. I felt like a part of me was missing and I had the isnane urge to be in contact with him.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my contacts until I found his name.

So did you take care of your little… or should I say big problem? ;)

I texted him and waited uneasily for a response. Feel free to laugh at my attempt to being flirty.

Butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach when I received his response.

wouldnt you like to know :)

I tried not to smile, because it would only take one person to notice for everyone's eyes to be on me.

As a matter of fact… I would.

I never texted all flirty to someone before… not even No Name. So I was just hoping I wasn't making a complete fool of myself.

lets just say youve been on my mind since i made it to my room… if you know what i mean.

My abdomen tingled and I bit my tongue to stop from squealing of excitement.

Maybe next time you could use some help… ;D

I barely had to wait before my phone lit up with a response.

I just might take you up on that offer… but I would feel the need to return the favor ;)

This time, I failed at hiding my reaction. I held in a light groan and giggled. My dad looked over at me curiously.

"Who are you texting?" Well thanks dad for noticing how new it is for me to be texting someone because I actually have friends now.

Just as I was about to answer, Marissa spoke up.

"Probably the neighbor, you know Nick …Jonas is it? They live in that big house about five houses down… he's her new boyfriend." My sister obviously did her research… my eyes grew wide and my dad looked shocked and Patrick and his parents did a kind of "ooh" type thing.

"Marissa…" I scolded her through gritted teeth and glared at her. She smiled kindly at me and I took a deep breath.

"Well Miley, the conversation took a turn on to you… care to tell us about this boyfriend of yours?" My dad suggested and my heart dropped a little. Nick was gonna be so pissed off. He said he didn't want my family to know because it could end badly. Aw shit.

"Well, there's not much to say. We aren't really boyfriend and girlfriend… we just like… hanging out with each other." Dammit, I didn't have to do this. I could have made up some excuse, but I was stupid.

"Hm. Maybe he'd like to come over for dinner Wednesday night," my dad said and I nearly threw up.

"No! No… Dad, it's… not necessary," I said nervously and cleared my throat. "Uhm…"

Patrick's mom must have sensed my awkwardness because she changed the subject.

"So Miley, you're a senior right? What are your plans for college?"

"I'm taking a year off and traveling to Europe. I wanna live in England for a year and see every other country over there. It's been my dream since I was little," I explained and she nodded.

Four hours after I discreetly replied to Nick he didn't reply. It was ten o'clock when I started to feel tired so I got in bed and picked my phone up, rereading our conversation.

Bad news… my sister told my dad you were my boyfriend. Sorry.

That was the last text. And I reread it over and over and over again, waiting for a reply.

It never came.

At 7:10 AM and seven unreplied texts and four unreturned phone calls later I was angrily slamming my garage door shut and getting into my black Audi. I pushed the door opener button so hard it got jammed and then gunned it out of my driveway.

I was so… infuriated. Who did he think he was feeling me up one day and then ignoring me and not picking me up for school with no notice AT ALL the next? I drove so fast, ran every stop sign and gripped the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turned white. Sure, I could have killed someone but so could my looks. At that moment I really didn't care.

But then as I started to go into deeper thought about how he blew me off, I started to get nervous that maybe something happened to him.

Fortunately, I didn't start to freak out too much because as I was driving through the parking lot there was his car. I pulled into the spot next to it quickly and got out.

I fast walked to the entrance of the school, back to being absolutely furious, when he caught my eye just a few feet ahead of me. Damn bastard, I thought to myself and called out his name.

"Nick!" It came out louder and angrier than I meant and I mentally high fived myself. When he didn't stop, I ran and grabbed his shoulder after shouting his name once more.

"Nick, what is wrong!" I exclaimed angrily and when he stopped, I stood in front of him. He looked like hell and I had no idea what happened but I suddenly regretted my tone. My features softened and I took a deep breath.

"Will you talk to me? Please!" I asked desperately and he pulled his lips in between his teeth before grabbing my wrist and turning around.

"Nick…" No answer. "Nick!" Nothing. "Nick, God dammit! Where are we going?" He picked up the pace and so I had to run a few steps so he wouldn't pull my arm out of its socket.

We got to his car and he unlocked it and let my wrist go, walking to his side. "Get in," he said as he opened his door and I stood on the passenger side contemplating what to do. I could leave, skipping school, or I could stay and possibly never find out what his attitude about and then regret not going. I groaned a little bit before opening the door and getting in.

"Are we skipping?" I asked and he smirked and then backed out dangerously, speeding off of school grounds. "Nick… you gotta clue me in. What's with suddenly being AWOL, ignoring my texts and calls? Not even telling me you couldn't drive me today for… God knows what reason!" I forced the last part out through gritted teeth, still pretty angry. He didn't say anything and I fell back against the head rest and sighed.

"Where are you taking me?" He ignored my question and continued to drive.

Forty-five minutes later and we were still driving.

"This silence is just a little too loud," I said and he sighed.

"Sorry. I tend to get lost in my own thoughts and lose track of time," he explained and I nodded.

"Can you tell me what this is all about… why you ignored me all night and morning?" He glanced at me briefly and then back to the road.

"My dad and I had a fight last night…" I know right? I was thinking what you're probably thinking… that's it? Okay, move on. "It doesn't sound that bad but… he blew me off and it's not the first time. We're not going to that car show tonight," he explained and I nodded in understanding. "Miley… I don't really have a good relationship with my parents. You know… they're never home… being a lawyer sure does take up time. I never see them… I feel like I hardly know them. Just like they hardly know me. My…my point is just don't take your parents for granted. I know what it's like to feel like you have no parents there for you," he explained and my heart dropped.

"Every time we make plans they cancel on me. They've let me down so many times but they always accused me of letting them down because of my rep. It's… stupid… I mean I don't even care about them, Miley. I didn't sleep at all last night. I was just dwelling on the fact that my parents don't care about me and realized I don't even care about them," he sighed and pulled over on the side of deserted road.

"When I was born, my mom didn't want me… She had postpartum depression. Which is where after the birth of a child, the mother thinks her baby is ugly and doesn't love it… at all. She didn't even wanna look at me. I found this out when I was seven," I told him and he remained silent.

"I was ten when she died…" I spoke emotionless and suddenly felt his eyes on me, but I remained to look straight ahead. "She…" I paused to collect myself, "she hung herself with a bed sheet…" Even now I cringe at the nightmares that followed… but this is important. I can't leave this out.

"Oh, Miley…" He said sympathetically and I felt his hand on mine as he squeezed it lightly.

I shook my head and continued, "In our basement…" My second reason for hating basements.

"Miley… I'm so sorry," he said gently and I forced myself to meet his eyes. "Here I am complaining about my parents when your mom…" He didn't finish, he just threw his head back against the head rest and pressed his palms into his eyes and groaned. He looked at me with apologetic eyes.

"Nick, don't even worry about it. I know you didn't know. It's okay. Really." I reassured him and he nodded and then shook his head.

"Do you know why?" He pried and to be honest, I was glad he asked. I never got to talk about my mom's death to anyone before. This was good.

"She was depressed… I just… I wish she didn't do it. I wonder if she ever got over her postpartum depression… what kind of mother does that to her family? I used to stay up for hours crying because I knew she didn't love me. I knew it… a mother who loved her children wouldn't kill herself," I told him and looked down as he sighed.

"Have you ever thought about it?" I asked and looked at him curiously.

With a shrug, he nodded. "Hasn't everyone thought about it at least once? Life is hard, Miley. We're lucky to survive…"

"Yeah."

"Have you?"

I glanced up and then out in front of me again. "I've thought about it… But I always knew there was someone out there that would be worth living for."

"Like, who?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know anymore. People change so fast." Like him.

"Who am I living for? Myself, mostly. What a lonely existence that could lead to…" he said and then laughed at himself. I didn't wanna laugh too… but a giggle did slip out.

"You could never be alone, Nick," I said and he smirked, but ignored what I said.

"I can't get over how familiar you seem to me… I can't put my finger on it but you remind me of someone… like the way to you talk and stuff," he said suddenly and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"Hm. Weird," I said and he just stared at me with curious eyes.

The conversation we just had made me understand him so much more. And it was when I started to get to know him… really get to know him.

"Sorry I ignored you and shit… I'm not a talkative person when I'm upset," he explained and I nodded.

"It's okay… but I mean, you really couldn't just tell me you couldn't drive me today?" I asked and he sighed.

"You would have asked why and I didn't wanna lie to you." Oh. "But about last night…" he trailed off and peered into my eyes.

I bit my lip. "I wasn't lying when I told you I'd do anything with you… I may have been drunk, but I wasn't lying," I told him and he looked down briefly then back at me.

"That really scares me, Miley," he said truthfully and I couldn't comprehend why. Why would me wanting to be with him scare him? "I could take advantage of you and you wouldn't stop me, you wouldn't care," he explained and I shook my head. Once again, another lie to cover up his real feelings.

"But you won't. You would have done it already. You would have done it yesterday after school. But you didn't because I said we should stop… if you didn't respect me you would have seduced me to do more," I said honestly, knowing exactly what I was talking about.

"Miley… do you really want me to like you that badly? You'd have sex with me just because I'm… popular?" He asked, almost angrily, and my head snapped up at his question.

"That is... not it. It's not even close," I said harshly.

"Then why?"

"I… I don't know. I just… I… you… and me… I…" I was unable to put together a complete sentence. I wasn't about to tell him the real reason. I'd be crazy to tell him I was in love with him.

"You're not making any sense…" he mumbled and moved closer to me. I looked at him hopelessly and sighed.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered out breathlessly and kissed him desperately. It was official. We were unable to be within 5 inches of each other or we'd just end up making out. For me, it was both a physical and emotional attraction. For him, I thought it was just physical.

We spent the day together; ditched school completely and just hung out and talked. I wish I could say we did something really adventurous, but we didn't.

It was dark when we arrived at his house. This time I took notice that there was no one else home.

"House to ourselves…" He said suggestively as he opened the front door and let me in first. It was pitch black, accept for some light coming through the window and I felt around for the light switch.

"Nick, where's the light switch?" I heard him close the door and it got a little darker. Suddenly I felt his hand on my shoulders and he turned me around so my back was up against the door.

I sensed one of his hands leaning against the door next to my head as the other tilted my chin up and the next thing I felt was his lips gently on mine. I closed my eyes and slowly kissed him back, snaking my arms up and around his neck. I opened my mouth, allowing him entrance after he tugged on my bottom lip gently with his teeth.

He pulled back barely and then kissed me open-mouthed a few times before our tongues became tangled in one another's.

It's funny how well I remember this… it started off slow… and then it became more aggressive somewhere along the way. His hands slid down my sides, letting his thumbs graze my stomach on their way down and rested under my butt. He groaned at the extra contact as I tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck and pressed myself into him. He pulled back for air and started kissing my neck, but I needed his lips on mine. I didn't want to let go of him.

We turned away from the door and bumped into a little table, but we didn't know until we heard a smash. I pulled away and tried to strain my eyes to see what it was but it didn't help that Nick was breathing into my ear before he start to kiss from my temple to my cheek and down to the corner of my mouth.

"Nick," I whispered, out of breath.

"Hm?" He turned my head and planted his lips on mine and I lost my train of thought for a second before turning away again.

"What just broke?" Look at me, trying to be all responsible rather than make out with Nick Jonas.

"Who cares, let's go upstairs…" he mumbled into my ear and chills ran down my spine. My concern towards what we later found out was vase, was completely demolished when his lips found their way back to mine.

We trampled into his room and collapsed on his bed so we were facing each other. My face moved towards his again, like he's some sort of magnet and my lips landed gently on his.

"You're so… desirable," he whispered in between kisses.

My arms wrapped around his shoulders and I pulled him close, hugging him and holding on tightly. We were still kissing as he let his hand wander lower to run across the swell of my butt and down to the hem of my jean skirt. Tugging slightly, he raised my leg and hitched my knee over his thigh and rested his hand against my exposed flesh.

I know I'm taking advantage of our agreement…this situation that we've gotten ourselves into…but I can't stop him from allowing his fingers from sliding around the back of my thigh and inside of my skirt. They dance softly across the swell of my cheek where it connects to the tendon between my thigh and the elastic of my underwear.

"Do you want me to stop?" He breathed out against my lips.

"No," I replied back breathlessly. "Yes."

This was affecting me too much.

"Which is it?"

I pulled my face back and he looked into my conflicted eyes. "No, I don't want you to. But, yes…we should."

His forehead rested against mine and he made no move to retract his hand. "Miley, Mileymileymiley," he sighed. "We've already come this far. Don't you want to make the most out of the next few weeks?"

"You have no idea what I want, Nick…"

I guess it was how I said the last sentence that snapped him out of his lust-haze. He dropped my leg and shifted off of me. "Then tell me, Miley. What do you want?"

I straightened my skirt and let out a soft laugh. "I kinda just want to look at the stars tonight. If that's okay with you."

"Should I go call, like, David and Selena or something?"

"Just with you, if that's okay."

He sat up and took my hand and I sat up and steadied myself after standing and he grabbed something before we headed out the door. It was getting a bit chilly and he handed me his brown hooded sweatshirt to place over my shoulders, a strange gesture of chivalry that seemed out of place after he just tried to shove his fingers into my panties.

We made it to his backyard and he flicked on the outside light. I had the strongest flashback ever. Rain. Nick. Myself. Swing set. Lightning. And that's it. I sat down on the bench and look up at the moon that hung in the darkened night sky. Nick stood beside me for a moment and then settled next to me.

He placed his drawing pad on my lap and sighed, "Care to look?"

I opened it and started flipping through the pages, smiling at the drawings. They were fantastic. But as the notebook went on there was a particular girl that showed up more and more… only she had no face. It was just her on a slide. Her sitting at a table. Her standing in front of a giant sun. Her. Her. Her. Her.

And all I wandered was, could it be?

"Who's this girl?" I asked cautiously and he sighed.

"I… I don't know."

I had enough of that and leaned forward and pointed up into the sky.

"Do you see that cluster of stars?"

He followed my finger and nodded.

I began to talk of the stars and the moon, sharing what I knew excitedly, proud of the fact that I had so much knowledge. He listened, smiling a little to himself as I described my fascination with the subject. My hands moved animatedly in the darkness as I pointed here or there, or explained how the stars have gotten their names.

I took a breath and smiled, looking at him. "It's all so fascinating, you know? How everything happens for a reason and in a specific order? I…just…" My voice faded and I grimaces with embarrassment. "You think I'm a total geek, don't you?"

He blinked and shook his head no, before leaning forward and looking into my eyes.

"No, I don't think you're a geek."

He placed a hand on my thigh and the other to my face, leaning forward to brush his lips across mine lightly before he spoke.

And we are only an inch apart when he said the words aloud.

"But I do think we've met before," he said evenly. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me who you really are, because it's driving me crazy trying to figure it out on my own…"

As for Better In Time… well that story is a trainwreck.

Q: Would you tell him the truth if you were in Miley's position?