Author's Notes: I think I really want to get this story done, so I think I'm going to start wrapping it up with this chapter. I know some of you wanted to see what a day with Grandpa!Pike is like for Jo, but honestly, the muses are pulling me in a totally different direction. Because of that, this chapter is a little shorter and will set up the end of the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Star Trek, which is a shame.

Chapter 5

When he'd been offered his first command post, Pike knew at that moment he'd reached a personal impasse. One fork of the road was the fast track sprint to the captain's chair; the other was a slower, more leisurely jog toward captaincy with a family and a life on Earth. He'd chosen the former, giving his life to Starfleet and to his rapidly advancing career. Chris would be lying if he said that he never wanted a family of his own, but his choice meant that a family with children became one of the unfortunate victims of circumstance.

He'd never truly regretted it, cashing in a spouse and children for a set of shiny captain's stripes, but there were times that he wondered what it could have been like to be a family man. He tried not to think about it too much. If he were honest with himself, it wasn't always easy, seeing his colleagues and friends with their respective broods. There were moments that the jealously he kept tucked safely away bubbled up, but he'd learned to control it.

Over the years, he found ways to combat the occasional bouts of melancholy, albeit in a very unconventional fashion. Instead of the family many others enjoyed, Pike learned to surround himself with the crews of his respective posts and later Starfleet Academy's cadets. Chris became a master at taking the raw, cynical product that was the collective military attitude and molding it into something nearing a family. While they kept him company and often provided entertainment, the chord struck was still dissonant, as if there was one note, one factor, that wasn't quite right. He would often sigh and wonder, then shake the feeling off as quickly as it came.

And then, one random day, he peeled the two best Starfleet cadets off a couple of separate bar floors in Riverside, Iowa. Go figure.

From that moment on, literally nothing in Pike's life remained constant. Professionally, Kirk pushed every last button, and even found ones Pike didn't even know he had with his insane antics and no holds barred attitude. Jim would be good for Starfleet, if he could survive long enough to actually graduate. With the rate Chris was forced to discipline the young man, it'd be a miracle of God if Kirk actually made it to commencement. At best, he'd be booted out on his ass. At worst, he'd be dead. Pike was under the impression that Jim was trying to become the most famous cadet ever by working his way through, from cover to cover, the Starfleet Academy cadet conduct manual while rewriting said manual, in an effort to raise the aforementioned Captain's blood pressure exponentially. Kirk might say he was doing so with style. Pike just wanted to slap him.

Jim had a nasty habit of dragging even the best mannered and the most polite cadets into his cess pool of shenanigans. While Leonard McCoy fell into neither of those categories, he did at least harbor some common sense. It put the doctor a couple of rungs above most cadets on campus, but it still was not enough to keep him from regular discipline adventures in Chris' office. Pike couldn't picture a more Odd Couple-ish pair; the extroverted and hyperactive Kirk was a stark contrast to the somewhat dour and sarcastic McCoy. But Chris realized early on that they were a necessary duo, and if that meant doing double duty while bailing them both out of jail, well, that was the price he had to pay. After all, it was his fault Kirk and McCoy were at Starfleet in the first place.

Privately, Pike thought McCoy wasn't so much of the straight arrow as he projected himself to be. A man who could swear in paragraphs without once repeating himself could not, under Pike's Rules of Command, be classified as a non-threat to good order and discipline. It was just that, when compared to Jim Kirk, nearly anyone looked angelic. But as much as he wanted to punch them both in the face on a regular basis, the pair managed to become Chris' family, the one he thought he'd never have. They might not realize it, but Pike treated them both like the sons he always (okay, sometimes) wanted.

When he heard through scuttlebutt that Dr. McCoy needed some help arranging a visit for his daughter, he'd secretly jumped at the chance to assist. It was fairly simple to set Len up (Pike refused to call the man 'Bones' and he didn't think McCoy would allow it anyway) in the family quarters and to clear the man's schedule. He worked a full time ER and surgical rotation on top of classes, so appealing to the logical side of the hospital administration staff, as in the side that agreed McCoy was probably overdoing it, wasn't a difficult task. After a brief meeting that laid out the plan, Chris had the head of emergency medicine ready to cover Len's shifts himself, whenever it was McCoy's daughter made it to campus for her visit.

When he'd accomplished step one of his mission, Pike set about the much harder task of step two: convincing Jocelyn to agree to an unsupervised visit. He'd not been privy to all the details of the McCoy divorce, only what he could find by researching the local paper and from what he'd heard from various sources, mainly Kirk. Len himself was rather tight-lipped on the subject, his eyes darkening and scowl deepening whenever the subject was mentioned. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it was an ugly divorce, and more than likely the reason McCoy ended up as a bartender at a little dive bar in Riverside when Pike found him.

Though Pike couldn't empathize with the man's situation, he could certainly sympathize. McCoy was hardly the first subordinate of Pike's to discover just how unfair life could be, and he wouldn't be the last. His fatherly affections toward Leonard were initially nothing but a package deal because of Jim. In the beginning, they were also laced with thinly veiled pity that made for a rocky beginning between the captain and the doctor. One spectacular blow-up between Pike and McCoy in the middle of Chris' annual physical solved that properly, and the two called a temporary cease fire at Kirk's behest.

It took quite a bit of introspection for Pike to finally understand why McCoy often acted the way he did. As a trailblazing, fast-tracked command officer, Pike was often years younger than his subordinates. It made for several awkward moments when he was a lieutenant. Jim gently reminded him that it was much of the opposite for McCoy, finding himself back in a school setting surrounded by cadets a decade his junior. Hell, he was older and much more experienced than the chief attending emergency physician at the hospital. And unlike Pike, McCoy did not have the luxury of simply ordering his peers around. He was just as much of a maggot as the rest of all the cadets in red, not a young hotshot lieutenant who had all the right answers.

He thought it'd be the familial thing to do, to offer his assistance. Pike figured he stood a better chance at convincing Jocelyn Darnell to allow Joanna to travel across the country to see her father than anyone else at the academy, stuffy admirals included. Lord help anyone if Pike left it up to Jim. No, if he wanted to do something right, he had to do it himself, and the sooner he could arrange the visit, the better. Chris was the happy recipient of several incident reports, all dated for the past few weeks, outlining just how bearish McCoy's behavior really could be. According to Jim and his keen observation skills, it was a bit of homesickness on the doctor's part. So one weekend, Chris signed out a shuttle and took it on a day trip to Atlanta. Four hours and a much less hostile Jocelyn Darnell later, he had his agreement. Short of confirming his actions didn't include any type of sexual favors, how he made a believer out of Len's ex-wife was a secret Pike would take to his grave.

And so, with the circle of insanity nearly complete, Christopher Pike, decorated commander and captain of the Federation's newest but still under construction flagship, found himself playing babysitter.

To a six year old.

And he absolutely loved it.

After spending one hour with Joanna McCoy, Chris came to the conclusion that he was a genius. He'd handled the impromptu job so well, Pike thought he might even have to write a book. (It also didn't hurt that, as his day job, he was the official babysitter to 1200 Starfleet Academy cadets. He'd had some practice.) It might be an appropriate way to secure a comfortable retirement. Perhaps dealing with Jim Kirk on a daily basis did have some merit and in the end, may have some literal payoff. Chris immediately struck that thought from his mind, for it would only validate the little shit's already annoying ego.

He had some paperwork to finish up quickly, so Chris downloaded a game to his personal PADD to entertain Joanna while he worked. The little device beeped and howled, Joanna squeaking and yelling right along with it. Pike had positively no idea what the object of the game was other than to cause as much mayhem as possible, but Jo seemed to enjoy it. Chris sneaked a quick glance over the rim of his glasses at the youngest McCoy. The overstuffed chair situated in the corner of his office seemed to swallow her whole, but her extra large personality wasn't the least bit hindered by her diminutive stature.

Chris signed off on the last report with a tap of his stylus. The tip clicked loudly on the surface of the PADD when he dotted the 'I' of his last name with finality. He pulled off his glasses and threw them in the top drawer of his desk. Looking over at Joanna, Pike said, "Well, what do you say? Should be get out of here for a while?"

Jo's head bounced up from her game, the index finger of her right hand hitting the pause command. She rocketed off the chair and skipped over to Pike's desk. She took a seat up against the stack of drawers that made up the left side and squeaked out, "Yeah! Where are we going?"

"Well, I don't know. I think that's up to you. You're the guest here. But first," Pike started, hitting the comm button. "Gloria? Would you mind coming in here for a minute?"

Chris' faithful yeoman sauntered in the door. He'd be sad to see her go when she graduated this year; Gloria Stuart had been some of the best help Pike could have asked for. Not only did she do her job well, she knew how to find just about anything for him, that object's legal status not withstanding. The captain suppressed a smile when he thought of the hell she was going to give her first CO. Stuart was a firecracker, and Pike hoped whoever got her was ready for a fight. The first thing he learned about Cadet Stuart was that she only did something once it made sense to her, and sometimes, military orders were simply not logical. Chris made a mental note to send her CO a big bottle of scotch to deal with the headaches she was going to cause.

While still laughing to himself, Pike stood up and walked to the small armoire in the corner of the room. He extracted a careworn pair of blue jeans and one of his favorite soft, grey Starfleet Academy t-shirts. "I need you to watch Joanna for a couple of minutes while I go change. Can you do that?"

Gloria's face wrinkled in confusion. "Joanna? Joanna McCoy?" She looked around the room, her brown eyes searching for either the girl or her father. "I-Didn't she leave with Dr. McCoy? I went to deliver those requisitions to supply and by the time I came back, they were gone."

Pike turned. "He was gone. Medical apparently can't handle any crisis without him, so they called him to assist on his week off. Joanna, as you can see, is right here," Chris said with a wave of his hand.

The young lady's jaw dropped. "You mean she was here the entire time and you didn't tell me? Do you know the level of how not right that is?" She put her hands on her hips and simply glared. How anyone could remind him so much of his mother while still being young enough to say 'Dude' was a mystery beyond comprehension.

Pike threw his head back and laughed. Chris was, quite obviously, not a stickler for the strict adhesion to the proper decorum normally associated with the military. He was fine with respecting the uniform and those with higher ranks, but Pike did by no means believe that Starfleet should be full of robotic automatons that had no personality whatsoever. Part of the lure of working for Captain Pike, he'd heard, was that it was okay to have a little bit of individuality and flair. Putting his hands up in front of his chest, the captain replied, "Okay, okay! Uncle! Maybe I can talk McCoy into letting you babysit. Would that be a fair attempt at a peace offering?"

Stuart crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes darted back and forth. Pike could see the thought process running through her brain. He cocked a little smile and walked forward. Extending one hand, she stuck it out in front of her boss. "Deal. Now go change, sir."

Pike grabbed the garment bag out of the drawer of the armoire and whistled as he walked to the bathroom attached to his office. He could hear Gloria talking with Joanna near his desk, gossiping about the Colts' chances to repeat as Superbowl champions. He changed quickly, folding his uniform with care and laying it on the sink. While he brushed his teeth and resituated his hair, Pike thought about the potential things he could take Joanna to do.

Should he take her to the campus science labs? No. Definitely not. The students' tendencies to test volatile substances reminded him to steer clear. The gaping hole in the back of Lab C was tangible proof of that, and while Pike might have been a bit of thrill seeker, Joanna was his charge. Whatever they did, it had to be safe. Chris kept thinking. The shuttle training sims would have been a good call if not for the senior class' ramp up to the final simulation of their academy careers. Every spare second was booked, and Pike knew that he'd never be able to slip Jo in when careers depended on the pass or fail of the shuttle exams. Scratching his head, Pike leaned up against the sink and tapped one thoughtful finger against his chin. He was quickly running out of entertaining ideas when a thought struck him.

The Enterprise was in spacedock.

He'd promised Joanna ice cream.

There was a killer Ben & Jerry's up at spacedock.

Bingo.

It had always been his intention to take Jo on a shuttle ride, but he needed to find a reason to tool around in the first place. Visiting his newly constructed ship was a fine justification for him. But, while he didn't need any excuse to go oogle his baby, Pike wasn't sure Joanna would share his lust over a pile of bolts, warp cores, and highly advanced space hearty materials. There was only so much of an under construction ship a six year old would find amusing, even one as smart as Jo. Still, going up to see the Enterprise was probably a more preferable activity than staying on campus. The little girl looked bored stiff sitting in his office, though she was doing an admirable job of being polite about it.

Chris smirked and pulled his personal comm from the pocket of his pants. First, he made a quick call to the shuttle bay to reserve a small craft for him and Jo. When the ride was secure, he dialed up McCoy's frequency and sent him a quick message outlining his plans. Pike make it clear he was going to take Joanna up to see the Independence, and that the doctor could meet them for lunch after he was finished. Yanking open the bathroom door, Chris stifled a laugh when he saw Joanna and Stuart execute a perfect post route, using the stress ball from Jim he kept on his desk as the football. Gloria cheered loudly when Joanna caught the ball, planted and spun, hopping over an invisible defender to cross the 'goal line' made by the two chairs that usually sat opposite the captain's desk. Clearing his throat, both girls whirled around. "Having fun?" he asked with a singular raise of his right eyebrow.

Stuart tried in vain to wipe the smile off her face. "Yes, sir. We were just exploring some alternate uses for your office chairs. Turns out they make good goal markers."

"Looks like it's working well. Just don't let anyone catch you doing that, Cadet. I'd hate to have to actually impose discipline on you in this office if an admiral walked in on you playing football with the stress ball Jim gave me for Christmas," Pike replied with a tug of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He looked down at Joanna. "You ready to go, young lady?"

Jo tossed the stress ball at the surprised Stuart and ran over to the door. She waved a goodbye to Gloria and said, "Thanks for playing! It was fun!"

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Pike said dryly, grabbing his ID and keys from the desk drawer. To Stuart, he said, "Hold down the fort for me while we're out, will you?"

Gloria smirked cockily. "You know I always do, sir. Your messages will be waiting on your chair for you in the morning."

"Thanks, Cadet. Make sure you go home on time tonight. That's an order," Pike said as he closed the door behind Joanna.

The pair walked out the door and down the hallway of Starfleet Academy's administrative building. Out of uniform, most cadets didn't know what to make of the plain clothed captain. On the whole, the majority hid their surprise well when the advanced hand to hand and tactics instructor walked through campus with a six-year-old girl in tow. A few drew themselves to attention before being waved off by Pike, and the odd handful openly gaped. It drew and eyeroll and a laugh from Chris, and some puzzled expression from Joanna.

The little girl looked around, wary of all the strange people in red staring at her. "What are they looking at?"

"Me," Pike replied, without so much as a flicker of hesitation. "I'm in charge of a lot of people here, Joanna. I suppose this is a little weird for them."

Something seemed to click in Joanna's head, something her dad told her earlier that morning. Two plus two suddenly started to make a whole lot more sense. Her eyes lit up and she blurted out, "Oh! You're the one who tells my dad when he has to go to the bathroom!"

Chris stutter stepped and coughed. He executed an about face that would have made his first DI proud and stared down at the little girl looking innocently up at him. It would be wise to discipline her, but the amount of amusement she provided was enough to trump the more sensible side of his brain. After all, he did babysit Kirk on a daily basis, and Jo wasn't allowed to fly a shuttle, or take advanced hand-to-hand combat. She wasn't hanging out to bars, nor was she able to attract trouble as Jim did. Or, at least, that's what the captain hoped.

With a shake of his head and an airy chuckle, Pike replied, "Yes, I have told your dad when he should go to the bathroom." It might have been funnier had it not been completely true, though he'd never admit it to Joanna. Chris mentally amended that it wasn't so much that he ordered the man to visit the head, but rather that he needed to exit it before the shuttle could take off. But Pike decided the shuttle incident was a story best left for another time when Joanna was much older. And by 'older', Pike really meant old enough to understand the humor in the situation.

Joanna kicked a rock with the toe of her tennis shoe. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans, unsure what to do with the new information the captain provided. She opened her mouth once, then twice, and finally settled on a simple, "Oh," as her reply. Jo jogged a couple of steps to catch back up with Pike's measured stride. After about fifty yards of silence (some sort of record for her), she looked up and squinted when the late afternoon's sun hit her face. In the best kid-voice she had, she asked the million dollar child question: "Where are we going?'

An airy chuckle escaped Chris' throat. "We," he began, "Are going to take a little trip. I heard you had fun on the shuttle ride here, right?"

Joanna practically bounced. "Yeah! It was cool! It was loud and shaky, and I was kind of scared at first, but then I realized how fast we were going and I thought it was fun! And they gave me some pretzels and they let me sit up in the cockpit when we landed."

How was Joanna possibly Leonard McCoy's child? McCoy, the same man who Pike and Kirk had to nearly peel from the ceiling of the sim the first time through and who'd puked for twenty straight minutes afterward, could not possibly have passed on genetic markers to a daughter who actively enjoyed flying. It was a commentary on irony, and Chris thought it was pretty damned amusing. Reaching down, he tousled Joanna's hair, earning a scowl from the little girl. This time, Pike did laugh out loud, as it was the same one the captain often saw from her father when the elder McCoy was dealing with Jim Kirk. "Well, Jo, I'm glad you liked the shuttle ride, because I'm going to take you up to spacedock. There's a ship there that's being repaired, and I thought maybe you'd want to go see her."

"We get to go into space?"

Pike simply nodded. "I'm going to take you up in your own shuttle, and if you behave yourself on the way up, there may or may not be a treat of some sort waiting for you at spacedock. Is that okay with you, Miss McCoy?" Chris finished with a sly smile. His father always told him that bribery worked quite well on him when he was a child. It was nice to employ some of the oldest tricks in the book, even if it meant admitting that his parents weren't total idiots all the time.

In the grand tradition of children, and secondarily of people with the last name McCoy on Starfleet Academy grounds, Joanna replied to Pike's question with actions instead of words. But instead of rudely jamming a hypo into his neck or calling him a fucktwitted idiot to his face (and gladly taking the reprimand for it), Joanna grinned and bounced around the captain's feet. Chris ruffled Jo's hair, earning a scowl from the little girl. "Shall we?"

He motioned with his head for her to follow. She obliged willingly and the pair started making their way toward the hanger bays. Chris flashed his badge at the entrance. Signing his name on the registration PADD for the shuttle, he strapped Jo in her window seat in the back and began pre-flight. While his hands danced over the controls, repeating the motions he'd executed probably thousands of times before, Chris stole a glance back through the open cockpit door. McCoy Junior was happily playing in her seat, fascinated by both the inner workings of the shuttle, and of the buzz of the hanger bay itself. Pike smiled to himself, content and at ease.

Life, indeed, took more than a few strange twists and turns. When Pike thought all hope was lost, that he'd given his entire life to Starfleet and toasted black any chance at a normal life, fate dropped Kirk and McCoy into his lap. Chris decided that Joanna, Kirk and Leonard might not be his family, but they family all the same. And in the end, Pike decided that was all that really mattered.

Next Up: Bones gets into one of those flying deathtrap shuttle things.